No one ever sees, no one feel the pain

Teardrops in the rain……

Jonghyun began to dance his finger on the guitar and sing.

I don’t know which way to choose, how can I find a way to go home?

I don’t know if I can go on without you, oohh…

Even if my heart still beating just for you, I really know you are not feeling like I do

And even if the sun shining over me, how come I still freeze?

No one ever sees, no one feel the pain, I shed teardrops in the rain.

Ah Reum put a big smile when Jonghyun start singing, but her smile slowly fade away as she listen to it and hear the words from the lyric. And when Jonghyun finally ended the song, Ah Reum has completely hung her head low and avoids Jonghyun’s eyes.

Yonghwa oppa said that Jonghyun made this song for me. If that’s true, then it means……

Ah Reum couldn’t even dare to make conclusion inside her head. Moment of silence was the only thing between them after Jonghyun finished singing the song.

“Ah Reum..” Jonghyun called her to break the silent.

“W-was that song really for…me?” asked Ah Reum, without raising her head.

“Y-yes…” Jonghyun hesitantly whispered. This is it!! She’s mad!!

“Then tell me why, Jonghyun?” Ah Reum finally lift her head and look Jonghyun in the eyes. Jonghyun can clearly see tears are started to pool her eyes.

“Why?” Jonghyun asked in confusion, although he already knew where this will lead to.

“Why now? Why didn’t you tell me before? And why…did you do this to me” She stormed Jonghyun with questions as she tried hard to hold back the tears in her eyes that ready to fall anytime soon now.

Jonghyun couldn’t say a thing, he felt a big lump on his throat and choosing a word seems like the hardest thing to do right now.

“And how dare you..” said Ah Reum as she lowered her head again due to the tears streaming down her cheeks, “How dare you judge my feeling without even asking me about it” She continued.

Jonghyun’s body stiffens. I hope this is not going to be what I’m thinking of, please…or I will regret it for my whole life.

“W-what do you mean?” Jonghyun finally swallowed the lump in his throat and asked her.

Ah Reum wipe her cheeks that are now completely wet by her tears, “How can you say you know that I don’t feel the same thing you do? I have always loved you Lee Jonghyun, always….And I always thought it’s me the one who had one-sided love to you because…look at me” She lift her head and look at Jonghyun’s eyes, “Who am I to love you? You have everything a girl would want in a man that even makes other man feel jealous of you, while I am just an ordinary girl who happen to be your best friend who….loves you.”

Jonghyun’s eyes widen upon hearing Ah Reum’s confession. He felt a virtual giant rock hit him square in his head and made his body feel so weak. When he decided to let her know about his feeling a while ago, he didn’t expect he will encounter such situation. This was such a bitter-sweet thing for Jonghyun, he lost count on how many times he wanted to hear Ah Reum says that She loves him, but….certainly not now, when the girl he loves for  14 years is about to marry in the next two days. But wait, hey…they’re not marrying yet so maybe…

“And as much as I want you to be with me, I just can’t be so selfish” said Ah Reum, as if she can read Jonghyun’s mind and answered it immediately. “I can’t be so selfish and hurt Henry like that” she continued.

“I know…” Jonghyun murmured, “And this is all my fault so I’m the one who deserve to be hurt here, not Henry”.

Ah Reum shook her head, “No one deserve to be hurt Jonghyun, and you’re the last person I would want to see get hurt. I’d rather hurt myself. I just regret that I never have courage to say the words, until today…when everything has seem so impossible for us”

See how stupid you are Lee Jonghyun?? How can you let the girl who willing to sacrifice for you go just like that? The girl you’ve been love for 14 years? That’s what you get when you’re being a coward to even confess your feeling!! And you still call yourself a man? Lee Jonghyun cursed himself.

Jonghyun couldn’t help himself, he can never let a girl in front of him cry, especially Ah Reum, the girl he loves so much. He move closer to Ah Reum and embrace her in a hug.

Jonghyun’s hug is always warm, just like this one. But unlike million hugs she had with him before that could always calm and pacify her, this hug make her tears streaming down her cheek faster. She couldn’t help the hurt feeling in her heart, knowing that this could be their last one.

“Ah Reum I’m so sorry…but please don’t cry. You know I couldn’t see you cry, it hurts me” Jonghyun begged.

Just then, Ah Reum’s phone Rang. She hastily pulled herself out and saw her phone screen. Henry.

She knew she has to answer the phone but answered it right now when her voice cracked due to crying would not a wise choice either, so she was just holding it while she wipe all her tears with her other free hand. The phone stopped ringing on the 3^rd call and followed with a text message.

From: Henry

Why didn’t you pick up the phone? Umma is looking for you and I’m taking her to your house. She seems like have something to talk to you. I know this is so sudden and I’m sorry to interrupt your time with Jonghyun, but can you please be home earlier to meet her? Thanks before honey. Love you.

“I have to go. Henry needs me” Ah Reum said.

“Do you want me to drive you homa” offered Jonghyun.

She shook her head, “I’ll just take cab I think”. Being together with you in a car will make me cry again Lee Jonghyun, so, better not.

“Now tell me, I look horrible right now, right?”

Jonghyun smiled, “You look fine, beautiful actually” he whispered as he caressed her cheek to dry the remaining tears on it and comb her hair with his hand.

“Jonghyun…” she called his name softly, which made Jonghyun simply answered “hmm” to that.

She leaned her body, cupped Jonghyun’s face with her left hand and kissed him on the right cheek, “Thank you for everything” she whispered so close to his ear. “You are my bestest friend and I feel so blessed for that”

She then wrapped her arms around Jonghyun for a hug before she make her way out of the practice room, left Jonghyun in a mix feeling. Shock, hurt, happy, confuse, sad, abandoned.

Jonghyun sat there, suddenly remember one of his interviews not a long time ago. “I am a man who never blocks someone from coming and hold someone from leaving”. This time, he really wanted to. He wanted to hold Ah Reum’s hands and hug her and ask her to stay with him, forever. But he just can’t, because he’s too late.