Luhan's POV

 

 

Saturday morning, my plan: play soccer in the park.

 

My eyes are still half-close as I tried to go down from my bed. I was like a sleepy zombie heading towards the kitchen to prepare pancakes. I haven’t eaten pancakes for a while and there’s something inside me that urged me to make for myself.

As I walk, I felt weird; I felt so light. I’ve been stressing myself for several days in our training yet it gave me a different feeling. I knew I am too skinny for a guy but to this extent.

However, my feet still dragged me to the kitchen and then I felt my throat drier than before. I need water.

The refrigerator was just a few steps away but why does it felt like it’s too far? Something has just slid down between my thighs. I just wanted to ignore it but it tripped me face down on the floor.

 

“Aww.”

 

I got up.

 

It shocked the hell out of me.

 

 

 

 

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!”

 

 

I picked up my jogging pants and ran towards the mirror beside my bed.

 

“Holy shizz!”

 

My khaki shirt was hanging low on the side that revealed my deep bony collar bone. I pinched my cheeks with my trembling fingers and felt it chubbier than before. My eyes rounded more in shock as I realized how I appeared shorter and younger in my reflection.

 

You’re just hallucinating Luhan.

This is purely part of your dreams.

Yes, you are merely dreaming.

You’re daydreaming Luhan. Luhan wake up!

 

In my estimation, I looked like an eight-year old boy.

 

8 years old?

 

 

HELL NO!

 

What’s happening?

 

What kind of sorcery is this!?!

 

 

I just stood there in confusion. My brain got tired faster on thinking how on earth that me – an eighteen year-old guy that was supposedly nineteen today, woke up and turned back to an eight year-old me?

 

I felt weak and defenseless. I don’t’ want to feel this way.

 

“Luhan!~”

 

Shoot!

Yoojin’s outside, what will I do?

 

I panicked as I pulled up my pants and then wiped off the tears forming in the corner of my eyes. I hate crying. I really hate it.

 

“I’m coming!” I shouted but I cupped my mouth right away as I heard the changes on my voice.

 

Still, I don’t want her to see me in this situation. I ran towards the door to open it.

 

Dang it!

 

Cursed this jongging pants and my height!

But the moment I grabbed my pants to pull up, Yoojin’s face was already in front of me.

 

“Ah!” I crawled back on the floor.

 

Her brows cringed. Can she recognize me? Does she know that I am Luhan, that I am her ex-boyfriend?

 

“Hi little boy!” her eyes wandered.

“Where’s your hyung?” she continued.

 

Inside me, I was relieved by the fact that she didn’t recognize me at all.

“H-he…” I gulped. What will I say to her?

 

“He what?” she waited for my answer. She sat on the floor and cupped her face in front of me.

 

Luhan, think faster. What will you say? Luhan, use your brain.

 

Aha!

 

“He went out noona. He said, he’s going to meet his friends.”

Nice Luhan, make yourself look bad to her. Build your own bad reputation. Let’s see how she will react.

 

“Really?”

 

She stood up and offered her hand to me, “Here. Get my hand. Did you ate already?”

I was about to answer when my stomach growled. My face went pink in shame.

I got her right hand as my other hand pulling my very long pants.

Yoojin giggled, “Don’t you have your own clothes? Those are so big for you. Come with me.”

“Where are we going?”

“Outside. We’re going to eat first then I’ll buy you some clothes.” She said as she help me.

 

She stopped on her trance and turned around, “By the way, what’s your name? are you Lulu’s cousin?”

“Cousin. Yeah, I-I am Yuan.” I told her as I study her facial expression.

She extend her other hand for a handshake, as part of my pretenses, I took it and said, “Nice meeting you noona.”

“Wow, you knew  Korean…” but before she could finish her words, she turned her back at me as she held back her laugh.

“What’s the problem?”

“Pulled it up.” Without looking, she pointed my lower body.

“T-thanks.”

 

I almost forgot, my underwear also slid off.

Yoojin has no choice left but to by me smaller clothes for my petite body. I continued my pretense because I don’t know how I will explain to her everything. At the first place, I don’t really know the reason of my transformation.

By the way, we just broke up right? But, why is she here?

I sat on my bed as I waited for her comeback.

 

A few minutes later she came back with shirts, pants and underwear. Wow, she even got the right size for me – it’s perfect fit.

She sat beside me as I fix my hair after I took a bath.

“How old are you Yuan?” she asked as she watched me combing my hair.

“Ninetee….eight, yeah! I’m eight years old.”

I guess. I added on my head.

She patted my head as a warm smile curved on her lips, “Are you sure, he’s just your cousin? You look like brothers.” She held my chin up then down as she examined every details of my face.

“Yoojin-ah~” I complained.

She stopped and then looked at me, “Yoojin-ah? How’d you know my name? as far as I can remember, I haven’t told you my name yet.”

 

Oops! Wrong move.

 

I shook my head at her and said, “Ahm… Luhan hyung, h-he often talks about you to me.”

“Me? about me?”

I nodded at her but she still raised her brow.

“He said, you’re the best girlfriend ever.”

 

What did you just say Luhan? Is this really the way kids speak?

 

Her smile broke as her gaze landed on the floor.

“But we’re… never mind. So, let’s go. As we wait for your hyung, let’s have a breakfast, my treat.”

“But…”

She grabbed my hand and ignored me.

 

She’s still hurt. I know but she doesn’t want me to know.

 

 

As we walked along the sidewalk, I can’t help myself staring at my reflection on the glass walls of the stores. She even picked up the right choice of clothes for me, black printed shirt, maong pants and she even bought the cap I wanted to buy. She really knows me even it was for Yuan, she’s still thinking of me despite of what I did to her.

 

Did I do the right thing?

Is breaking up with her the right thing for us? For me?

 

“Hey, are you alright?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’m just thinking of something.”

“At your young age? School problems? Girls?” she aksed.

“Noona?”

“I’m just kidding, so what do you…”

 

“ICE CREAM!!!”

 

My hand slipped from hers as I ran towards the ice cream store. I entered the store and looked on the flavors they’re offering.

 

I heard the door opened and saw her walking towards me.

 

“Do you want ice cream?”

I nodded.

“But, you haven’t eaten anything yet.” She said.

 

She’s always concern of my health.

She looked up to see the menu in the counter.

“Oh, they have crepe. Do you want a crepe? Then I’ll buy you an ice cream. What flavor do you want?”

She’s spoiling me too much.

“I want an ice cream.”

“But your stomach needs to be filled with the right food first.” She insisted.

“You’re not my mom.” I told her.

She stopped. She froze on her place.

Her face went sad. I bit my lower lip. I shouldn’t have told her that.

 

“I’m sorry.” I said.

She just smiled at me, “No, don’t worry. It’s okay. I’m just concern. You might get sick if you don’t eat properly.”

 

Fine. I’m going to eat crepe.

In the end, I gave up and ate breakfast first before having my dessert.

We sat on the corner of the store. She had coffee crumble while I chose strawberry.

I remembered how she always has her side comments with my stuffs and likes – it always have some feminine touch.

But I’m manly.

 

“Why did you stopped eating?” I asked her and then put down the dessert spoon.

“I just love watching you. You really remind me of him.”

“Me? Who? Hyung?”

She nodded, “Aside from your face, your habits, your likes almost everything that I have observed today is so much him. You’re like a mini version of Luhan.”

 

Of course Yoojin, because I am me – I am Luhan.

 

“It seems like you really knew my hyung well.” I continued eating.

“How will I not know him, he’s been a special person to me.”

She totally stopped from eating. Yoojin just stared on window as she rest her cheek on her palm.

 

“Do you love him that much?”

 

“Why did you asked?”

 

“I’m just curious.” I excused.

 

Her eyes shifted on my direction and without my notice her hands cupped my face and squished it.

“See, you sounded like him too.”

“Noonaaa~ aww~” I cried.

 

Suddenly, I felt a pang on my chest.

Suddenly, I regretted my decision.

Can I just go back in time and say sorry to her?

 

When she saw that my cheeks are reddish already, she patted my cheeks and then fixed my hair.

“You’re still young Yuan. You’ll know it soon.”

 

Something gleams on the corner of her eyes.

“Noona, are you crying?”

She hurriedly wiped it off, “Of course not. Finish eating now.”

 

But I still studied her face before going back to my ice cream.

 

I felt guilty. I wish hadn’t broke up with her.

 

“Noona, I wanted to go the park.”

“What if your hyung come back already?”

 

She’s worried again.

 

I shook my head, “He might come back by night.”

She sighed, “How irresponsible, how can he leave you for his own sake?”

Is she really getting mad at me?

 

I held her hand and shook it, “Noona, it’s okay. I’ll be fine. I’m a big boy now. I can manage myself”

She bowed a bit to reach my eyes, “But, you’re still underage Yuan. You can’t live on your own in a day”

“I can be as independent as I wanted to noona.” my voice got harder.

“How old are you again Yuan?”

“Age doesn’t matter noona. It’s how you see yourself and live with it.”

I let go of her hands and ran away.

 

That’s it. She made me feel again that I am less than a man. She made me feel weak again. Can’t she understand that sometimes, I wanted to be seen as a man, not just a guy?

 

 

*****

 

I went to the nearest park around and saw few boys playing soccer on the vacant space. I went nearer to them and watched them play on a bench. Suddenly, I felt the urge to play with them. How is it to play in this kind of body? Will it affect my performance? Can I still do my moves with my eight-year old body?

 

“Hey, you there. want to play with us?” a boy with a red shirt asked.

There six of them playing and if I joined in, it will make the game uneven.

 

“But, it will be seven I joined in.”

 

 A bald boy went to me and then patted my shoulder, “Don’t worry, I just making fun of their game. You can join them kid.”

“Really? Can I?”

 

They gestured me to come so I did not hesitate anymore. I put down my cap on the bench and ran to them.

The game will be three versus three.

 

Sometimes, I just wanted to play soccer with strangers. It gives me the different kind of thrill. Playing with totally unknown members of the team, that’s so cool. I felt like I just came out from my cage – I felt the freedom.

The game has started and this might took several hours. It’s a ruleless soccer match just for fun.

Our team needs just one point for us to win. This last set is the most crucial at this point of time. I felt comfortable using this body. It is light and easier to manage though at the beginning, it was difficult for me to adjust with the changes with the strength. My kicks got weak somehow, maybe because this body hasn’t build up the required muscle strength.

 

“Yuan, pass the ball!” Jungkook shouted.

 

I almost face palmed myself. He doesn’t need to verbalize all our tactics. I wanted to roll and laugh.

 

Because our opponents heard our next move already, thanks to our captain, I did differently. I led the ball towards the goal with ease and when I’ve seen the hole in the defense of the goal keeper, I kicked with all my might the ball.

 

GOAL!!!

 

I ran towards Jungkook, “We won. Our team won.”

Their face showed the opposite of my reaction.

“I told you to pass the ball.” He said.

“But, they heard what we are about to do.” I said.

“Jungkook, is the captain, you should’ve listened to him.” Jin, the other boy with a nice face told me.

“I just did the right thing to do.”I told him.

The members of the other team shook their heads on me.

“You know, it’s not always what you think is right is the best thing to do. Sometimes, you should also learn to listen.” Jungkook told me. His smile faded and so as the others.

 

 

“HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HUH?”

 

It’s Yoojin. She went beside me and grabbed my shoulders protectively. She has seen me.

 

“Guys, let’s go, her overprotective noona came.” Taehyung told them with a mocking tone on his voice.

 

They left me.

The game was over.

 

“You know, it’s not always what you think is right is the best thing to do. Sometimes, you should also learn to listen.”

 

Yoojin knelt in front of me and hugged me, “Are you fine Yuan? What happened? Did they hurt you?”

 

She’s becoming overprotective again.

 

I pushed her away, “Stop it!”

“Yuan?”

“I hate it. I’ve left you already right?” I raised my voice to her.

 

“Yuan, what did I do?”

 

“You’re doing everything for me. That’s the point noona. You are sickening. I am already choking, I can’t breathe.” I felt my eyes hotter than before. I must hold it back. I may be a kid at this point but I’m old already and I can do whatever I want.

 

“What are you saying Yuan? I can’t understand.” She’s confused. She kept on reaching out my hand but I kept on slapping it away.

 

I am about to explode.

 

“You know what hyung said? Do you know why he broke up with you?”

 

Her expression changed. She became rigid and steady on her place.

 

“You always make him feel weak. You always play a role of a mother like you are afraid of everything that he’s about to do. You’re restricting him to become a man that he wanted to be for you. You always refuse his help and yet, you don’t want yours to be rejected.”

 

“Yuan, did he really said… that?” her voice trembled.

 

“Sometimes, he wanted you to need him to. At least, to make him feel that he has a purpose on you. But, you always show that you can do everything and all you wanted to do is to serve him.”

 

“I’m just doing that because I love him.”

 

“Love him? If you really love him, at least you had given him enough space to breathe and to move on his own.”

 

“Is it wrong to show my concern to him?”

She broke down to tears and I felt mine is about to trickle down too.

Damn this crybaby instinct of an eight-year old me.

 

“It’s not but at least, make him feel that he can also depend on his self; need him as a man and do his role in your relationship.”

 

She sat on the bench and that’s the time she let out all her tears fall down. I sat beside her and looked at her.

I broke her heart again but the different thing is, finally, I’ve told her what I have failed to say to her that day.

 

“Noona, I’m sorry.”

She shook her head as her tears trickled down her puffing cheeks.

“It’s okay. At least, I know why he broke up with me.”

I took my handkerchief and gave it to her.

 

“Here, take mine. Don’t cry noona. Please.”

“Because, he might get angry if he found out that you made me cry?”

I nodded, “And aside from that, you’ll get ugly if you do.”

 

She stared at me for a long time and then asked, “Am I a bad noona?”

“You’re a good noona.”

“But he doesn’t want me anymore.”

 

I looked down and trace the trail of the ground with my eyes.

“You know what noona, there’s no reason for someone not to like you. Hyung said that you are the best girl he has ever met.”

I looked back at her and gaze at her crystal eyes.

“He loves you so much.”

 

“But, he…”

 

I shushed her with my finger.

 

“He just dislikes what you’re doing to him but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Yoojin noona. will he pursue his love to you if he doesn’t like you at all?”

 

“Am I really like that? Am I controlling? Suffocating and everything?” she asked with tears in her eyes.

 

I chuckled on the way she asked me that. She’s amusing and cute.

 

“Yuan?”

“Hahaha~ I’m sorry. You’re just cute noona.”

“So, am I really like that?”

 

“Just like what I said a while ago. Sometimes, you must let him do on his own. He wants you to need him as a man too.”

 

“Yuan, thank you.”

My lips curved to a smile, “You’re always welcome noona.”

 

She wrapped her arms around me and said, “Please take care of your hyung for me Yuan. Be a good cousin to him, okay?”

“Y-Yes, I will.” I stuttered as I hugged her back. Without knowing, I felt my tears betrayed me.

I cried so loud on her arms as I hugged her so tight. My tears dripped on her shoulder, making her clothes soaked in wet.

 

“Yuan, you really cry like a baby. Does Luhan cry like that too? I haven’t seen him cry yet.” She teased.

 

If I just can hide my face from her. This is so embarrassing. Now you know how Luhan cried.

 

“Yah! Noona, it’s embarrassing.” I faked a punch on her shoulder.

She embraced me again and ruffled my hair.

“I know, someday, you’ll be a good boyfriend like your hyung.”

 

Thank you Yoojin.

Now, I fully understand everything.

I made up my mind.

 

******

 

The next morning, I woke up with a hope that I went back to normal. To my great surprise, everything went back to normal. I am officially nineteen years old today. Goodbye eight-year old me. Right away, I’ve decided to amend things between me and Yoojin. I want her back to my life. I made a big mistake and even I have told her already my side when I am in my eight-year old body, I explained everything to her again without hesitation, without secrets.

She also explained her side to me.

I know, I was blinded by my own reasoning. I just realized something I have learned from my playmates. That sometimes, it’s not always what I think is right is the best thing to do. Sometimes, I should also learn to listen.

I should’ve opened my mind to her side and even initiated the talk about our relationship.

I’ve learned my lesson and from this day on, I’ll be a better boyfriend for Yoojin.

I’ll be Luhan version 2.0 by this time.

 

 

 

The next day, we went out to go to the library for her books. After long hours of reading and waiting, we’ve decided to eat on a fast food chain.

 

Yoojin came with me as I order for our food. I actually asked her to order with me, I just wanted to patch things up to her.

Finally, I’m next.

 

“Good afternoon Sir, Ma’am. Can I take your order?”

 

My eyes trailed on their menu, “We want one bucket of chick…”

 

I stopped when I saw the cashier’s face.

 

 

 

IT’S HIM!

HE’S ONEW!

 

 

 

“Sir?”

 

“Luhan, are you okay?” Yoojin asked.

I smiled at her and faced back the cashier, “Did we met before?” I asked the cashier.

The guy with small eyes smiled at me beautifully and answered, “Sir, I can’t remember that we’ve met before.”

“But, I think I’ve seen you before. Are you Onew hyung?”

His brow cringed and so as Yoojin’s.

 

The cashier pointed his name tag and read it for me, “Sir, I am Jinki. I am happy to serve you; can I get your order?”

I tilted my head and stared at him for a while, not minding the line getting longer because of me.

 

I shook away my thought and said, “Okay, never mind. I just know a guy who really looks like you.”

Then, he just smiled again.

“One bucket of fried chicken, and two large Sprite.” I told him.

He punched my orders and repeated my orders to check.

“Okay Sir, here’s your number.”

 

We are about to leave when I remembered something, “By the way, if you happen to see Onew, will you please say thank you for me?”

He nodded and answered, “You’re welcome my friend.”

 

When he said that, it felt weird but, never mind, the important thing is, we’re back together and I have thanked this Onew guy for teaching my lesson.

 

Wherever he is, I owe him a lot.

 

THE END