Last part! Enjoy! ~Dami~ >_<

The Words I’m Unable to Say (Part 4)

After the party you feel like Lee Joon is trying to avoid you. You decide that for now is the best thing to do. Maybe you’ll forget the feelings you have for him. But you still miss just playing around with him. You miss listening to him laugh as you played video games for the longest of time.

You decide to go for a while to “The Break Room”. You take a bottle of water from the refrigerator and lie down in the sofa for a while. You are feeling really down and are not even in the mood to play. You close your eyes for a while as you let out a stressed sigh, hoping to feel better. But you don’t, you really hated not being able to do anything about your situation. You are getting to the point where you regretted ever falling for Lee Joon.

A half hour passed by so quick you didn’t even noticed. Suddenly someone says:

“__________ah! Are you alright?”

It was Seungho who stood before you looking worried. You sit down in the sofa as he sits next to you.

“Seungho oppa… What are you doing here? I thought you were rehearsing.” -You say as you get your hair in a ponytail.

“I was, but we finished already. I was passing through here when I saw you lying down, so I came to see if you were alright.”

“I’m alright, why would you think I’m not? I was just tired so I decided to rest here.”

“________ah… I already know you better than that. Your “resting because I’m feeling tired” usually means “playing video games in this room”, not sleeping in the sofa. I’ve never seen you like this, so something must be going on.” –He says exposing the truth.

You sigh and vaguely smile:

“Oppa, you can read me better than anyone else.”

He smiles relieved after seeing you finally smile, even if it was just a little.

“Are you here because of Lee Joon?”

You look at him surprised that he even mentioned his name.

“Why? Why Lee Joon?”

“_________ah, it’s pretty obvious that you have feelings for him… and it’s also obvious that he has feelings for you too.” –He says very sure of himself.

“Ani… He doesn’t. He has never done anything to make me see that he does.”

He smiles at you, and pinches your cheek to make you smile a little.

“Listen _________ah. Lee Joon is different from many guys as you have seen. Behind his playful and dorky personality, there’s a person that suffered a lot by heartbreak.”

You look at Seungho completely speechless at what he has said.

“Lee Joon fell in love with a girl not so long ago. He fell really hard for her, and he would go anywhere with her and do anything for her. Since he’s always been so clumsy with his words, he sometimes said things he shouldn’t. Right after he confessed to the girl, she stopped talking to him. She would ignore him and that made him really sad. He kept blaming himself for what had happened. He’s always believed that he had said or done something that caused to mess up everything. Ever since it’s been really hard for him to begin a relationship, because he’s afraid that he’ll do or say something wrong in front of the girl he likes that will end up everything and cause him pain again.”

“Jeongmal?...” –You say now feeling completely bad for him.

“Neh! We’ve tried to help him get through this, but he’s just stubborn. About you, well… Since the day he’s met you, your name always appear in our conversations. He really likes the way you are. He says you’re different from other girls…”

You interrupt: “He’s never made me feel like I’m anything special. I sometimes wish I could forget him…”

Seungho looks at you; he grabs your shoulders so you face him:

“You should give it a little more time. I am certain that everything will work out soon. G.O. Thunder, Mir and I don’t like seeing you sad. We’ll do anything to make our little sister happy.”

You smile a little with a tear falling down in your cheek:

“Thanks for trying guys, but I’m exhausted of the same story every time.”

You release yourself from Seungho, who can’t do anything else but to watch you leave. You go directly to your dorm and continue to cry more. Though you already knew why Lee Joon was like that, you were tired of waiting around for nothing. You didn’t want to confess either, because you were afraid of him being another rejection because of his broken heart. It seemed like you had no choice but to forget about it.

******

You were invited to a small get together in the Break Room. All the Mblaq members were there, including Lee Joon. Lunna was also there today. You shared with Seungho and Lunna for a while, and then you hung with everyone else but Lee Joon who was still avoiding you. There were only you guys, it was a private gathering. But it seemed like Seungho was a little nervous about something.

He left the room for a couple of minutes; he said he had to go to the bathroom. So everyone kept talking. Suddenly the lights begin to dim slowly. You and Lunna looked at each other wondering what was going on. It seemed like you two were the only ones who didn’t know what was going on. The rest of the members looked at each other smiling as if they were keeping a secret.

From the door, Seungho entered with a wide smile, he walked directly to Lunna holding a small box in his hands.

He kneels to the ground and says:

“Lunna, I have had the most amazing time since I’ve met you. And I really wish to spend the rest of my life with my moonlight. I am certain that I want to be with you forever… I need you…”

Lunna covers her smile with her hands, and happiness tears begin to fall. Seungho continued his vow:

“Will you marry me?”

Lunna still unable to answer, nods mouthing “Yes”.  Seungho takes her hand and slowly puts a very beautiful ring. He stands up and gives her a hug as she gets up, and then he finishes it off with a kiss.

You are moved by this, so you find yourself crying too. You just wish Lee Joon would have the guts to confess to you someday. Maybe you feel a little envious of Seungho’s relationship. They are made for each other, they love each other, and they show it to each other. All you wish you also had.

You were too busy congratulating them that you did not notice Lee Joon starring at you from the other sofa. Seungho and the rest of the boys noticed this, and they wanted him to come at you truthfully. After half an hour of Seungho’s proposal, something happened that changed the whole mood of the room.

You all were talking about relationships, and G.O. said:

“Yah! Lee Joon! What about the girl you like?”

Lee Joon quickly takes a glimpse of you, and then faces G.O, but he did not answer.

G.O’s expression quickly becomes irritated.

“Yah!! Answer me? Do you always have to keep so quiet whenever you’re around her? Don’t you see how much pain are you causing her?”

Everyone just starred at G.O. surprised of how he’s reacting. But in reality, everyone agreed with his words. You just desired for him to shut up.

“G.O… Why must you go saying such mindless things? Do you like her…?” –Lee Joon said angrily at him.

“Why are you asking that? You are the one who likes her…” –G.O says standing up and pointing at you.

“Then why did you kiss her in the party? Huh?” –Lee Joon says standing up facing G.O as if they were going to fight.

You stand up angry and yell:

“Yah!!! Will you two stop? Why must you keep fighting about stupid things… G.O if Lee Joon doesn’t want to say anything just let him be… Why must you ruin their moment” –You say pointing at Seungho and Lunna –“Just forget about it…” –You finally said as your voice broke. You quickly stepped off the room and went to the nearest bathroom to freshen up.

Meanwhile back in the room…

G.O: “Why must you make her cry like that?”

Lee Joon: “What do you know if I made her cry, do you have such a relationship that she trusts you so much?”

G.O: “She’s like my little sister, and I don’t like to see her suffer. She hasn’t said anything but I know her well enough to know when something is bothering her, and when someone is making her feel pain.”

Lee Joon looks down feeling defeated:

“Then why did you kiss her at the party?”

G.O: “I did it so you would realize already the mistake you were making.”

Lee Joon silently sits down with nothing else to ask.

G.O: “If you don’t do something about her, she’s going to forget you and move on. What’s worse? Knowing if she likes you, or wondering for the rest of your life what would’ve happened?”

Seungho steps into the conversation:

“Lee Joon… She likes you a lot! She’s gotten used to the way you are all this time, she’s even endured your silence for this long. Ask her out… Spend some time alone with her, that’ll help you express yourself to her. Just try it… But do it today. She’s already mad, so try to make her feel better.”

G.O: “I’m pretty sure she’s coming back to apologize, so stay here, and ask her then. Don’t leave anywhere until you ask her, arasso?”

Lee Joon: “I’ll try …” –He says slowly.

The half hour you spent trying to calm down, Lee Joon spent it trying to think of the right way to ask you out. You finally come out of the bathroom and come in the now empty room. There was only Lee Joon sitting facing the other way. You decide you should at least apologize to him.

“Lee Joon? I’m really sorry about earlier.” –You say scratching your neck looking down.

Lee Joon quickly stands up and steps in front of you.

“Let’s go out.” –He says.

You are dumbfounded thinking if you misunderstood him.

“What?” –You say wanting to hear again.

“Let’s … go … out…” –He says as he takes your wrist giving you no chance but to follow him.

Once you’re out of the building, you began to walk on the sidewalk. You kept walking by him as you looked at his thoughtful face. He finally stops, looking directly at something, as if he was trying to direct your eyes somewhere. You look that way, and see in one of the street, a lot of kiosks filled with candy and games. This makes your face bright up immediately. But Lee Joon would just stare longing to be there with you, and trying to keep it cool at the same time. Meanwhile you playfully say:

“Oppa! Let’s play some games!” –You say smiling at him.

You wanted to end this awkward moment, he finally asked you out, but you could feel he was worried about something. You grab his hand and pull him to one of the games. You give the owner money for the game and he hands the gun to you. You point your gun at Lee Joon trying to make him smile, he does smile, but he tries to hide it from you.

You just laugh at this and begin to play the game. You finished the first round, and you say:

“Ha! Try to do better than that Oppa!” –Knowing he loves challenges, and showing everyone how good he’s at everything. You wanted to be with him like the times you would just play video games and have fun. You really wished he was like that all the time.

He picks the gun from you and gets you out of the way. He points the gun and wins the game. He smiles happily very satisfied with his victory. He hands out the gun to the owner and picks up a prize. He looks at you with a gloating smile. You can’t help but to smile at this. He blushes when he sees your reaction, which he wasn’t expecting. And he then hands out the teddy bear he had won to you. You take it and thank him for this.

You kept walking with him and stopping in different games. You felt like the old times, you felt really happy. Though he hasn’t confessed to you, you wish to stay like this forever, even if it meant just being friends with him.

******

It started to get darker. And you two walked until you had finally reached a river. Right in front of the river, there was a bench. Both you and Lee Joon sat down satisfied with how everything is been going. You both were silent at the moment. You kept starring at the river, while Lee Joon was once again struggling with his words. But he was decided to say something to you.

He let off a huge sigh, which made you feel a little uneasy, and he starred directly at the river.

“I’m not very good with my words _________ah. It seems like I mess up easily. I’m always afraid of trip over my own words. But since the day I met you, I have always wanted to say something, but I never got myself to do it.”

He pauses and takes a deep breath, you didn’t interrupt, he was finally speaking to you and you wanted to listen to his every word.

“Remember that night we met? When we stopped in your dorm? Before you closed the door… I wanted to ask you out.”

…

“Remember the second day we saw each other? You had said that guys don’t like you because of your personality… you poured your heart to me and I didn’t say anything. I really wanted to tell you that all those guys who hurt you were jerks and that you were an amazing girl. I wanted to take your hand and comfort you. I didn’t want you to leave like that, but I couldn’t stop you.”

…

“Remember that night before the party? When I saw you before we headed, I wanted to tell you how beautiful and gorgeous you looked.”

“That same night… Right after Lunna left to dance with Seungho. I saw you alone, you seemed lonely and sad. I wanted to ask you to dance with me… I tried to walk to you, but I couldn’t… Then G.O asked you to dance, and that made me sad… Then I saw him kissing your cheek… And that made me angry, and then I saw him whispering to your ear and kissing your forehead… And I felt furious. But again I never told you anything.”

…

“And tonight, the night I finally get to speak to you, I really want to tell you…”

He pauses… Again no words come out of him.

He turns to you as you turn to him. He leans to you as he caresses your cheek, and he kisses you deeply. You kiss him back as deeply as he did. Though he’s kissing you, you can tell what he’s saying.

He slowly releases you looking directly to your eyes… And you answer:

“I love you too Lee Joon…”

He smiles back at you as he puts his forehead against yours, then he gives you another kiss as answer. This time he didn’t need to say anything, but you knew exactly what he was trying to tell you. Every word he was unable to say…