The Words I’m Unable to Say (Part 3)

It’s been a couple months already. You finished your task on the Mblaq song and it was a success. You even got attention from more of your workmates. This made your staying here in Korea more comfortable. You have had more and more time of hanging out with the guys. You have made such a beautiful friendship with them. Even with Lee Joon. You have gotten used to his personality quite well. You still play lots of video games together, and you really enjoy that. You only wish he was like that all the time. But sadly, whenever things got serious, or you stopped playing, he would avoid you. You really hated that part.

******

Lately Seungho has been on the phone all the time. You listen to him calling the girl he likes. He has been really straightforward with her since the beginning. It’s as if he was sure of everything he was doing and he didn’t regret it. He would express how he felt about her constantly. You really wanted Lee Joon to do that too. You have gotten to like him more and more, even though he still hasn’t said anything about liking you. You didn’t have the guts to tell him anything because you were really confused by the signals he sends you.

******

Today you were invited to a party with the boys. Seungho’s girlfriend was going to be there too, so you’ll finally meet who the girl he loves so much is. You dressed up your best tonight; you wanted Lee Joon to notice you more. You were never the kind to do this, but you wanted to see how he reacted.

You finish looking at yourself in the mirror for the tenth time; you wanted to look absolutely perfect. You close the door and turn around to see Lee Joon standing in front of you with a suit. He looks absolutely dreamy. You can’t help but to stare at him quickly and turn your face around. He is already looking at how good you look tonight. He’s speechless. He’s about to speak:

“You…” –He says, but quickly stops and scratches the back of his neck.

“We should leave _________ah.”

Once again you are disappointed as you’re left waiting for what he was going to say. You think he likes you, but you are not sure about it. You want to hear it from him if he does like you. You don’t want to imagine something that’s not real and end up disappointed like other past times.

You two walk together but alone in the very empty hallway. While you keep on walking looking straight forward, Lee Joon sometimes catches a glimpse of your beauty, but then looks away.

******

At the party you quickly split up as you look for your table. You have no idea where he went, and you have no idea where you would sit. There are some people dancing, and some are just talking while having some drinks. Meanwhile you were alone, even though the person you really cared about was just feet away from you. You keep on walking trying not to think about this fact. Until you finally hear a very familiar voice:

“__________ah! Over here!”. –Seungho says waving you to come.

You sigh in relief and walk over to him, really happy to have finally seen him. He has a girl who he’s wrapping with his arm, so you quickly figure that she’s his girlfriend.

“This is my girlfriend Lunna, Lunna meet ________ah, and she’s a great friend of ours.”

“Nice to meet you Lunna!”

“Nice to meet you too! Seungho has told me so many stories about you.” –She says smiling and looking at Seungho.

You automatically begin to think about all the embarrassing things that had happened in the past months. And you look at Seungho seriously, but he’s too busy caressing his nose with hers just lingering in a loving way. You can’t help but to smile at the adorable sight. You really wished Lee Joon and you would have such a relationship. You take a seat next to Lunna, and Seungho announces he has to leave for a while. But he wanted me to keep Lunna some company. He gets off his chair and very lovingly gives Lunna a little kiss while they both smile. You let out a little sigh as you put your hand in your chin and find Lee Joon in the crowd. He just seems so perfectly fine about being there; he’s enjoying himself while you just stare.

Lunna noticed you looking at him and she asked worried:

“Do you like him?”

“Who?” –You say turning quickly your eyes to her.

She points slightly at Lee Joon who is still there not noticing you. It was too obvious by the way you kept looking at him. Since she’s a girl and she has such an amazing relationship with Seungho, you decide to express how you feel about him. You tell him about the day you met him, how he didn’t mind your childish personality, and how he would change whenever things turned serious. You were worried that he would be like other guys that didn’t want to make the relationship serious because of you, or that he just didn’t like you. Thinking of either of it was hurtful to you. You asked her for advice because you thought that you were doing something wrong.

“Guys… All guys are different ___________ah. Seungho ever since I met him, he’s been sure of what he wants. He’s very confident, and is knows how to speak and when to do it. But other guys, they just don’t know how to express themselves the right way. They sometimes are used to say everything out loud even when it causes trouble to them, that when it comes the time to talk to someone who’s really important to them… They are just afraid to mess up, so they end up saying nothing at all. I really don’t know Lee Joon personally, but from what I’ve heard Seungho say, he tends to mess up easily”.

You think about what she says, and quickly remember what Seungho said to you that day. “He’s really loud, and crazy. So my advice… Don’t take personally everything he says. He tends to say things he shouldn’t with the worst timing.” You also remember the times you spent with the guys playing around, he would always say something to make fun of the others, but always end up being made fun of.

“Maybe Lunna is right.” You kept thinking to yourself. You turn to her and give her a thank you hug. Even though you met her today, she already managed to make you feel better, just like a great friend who always has your back.

“My little moonlight…” –You hear Seungho say playfully to Lunna as he puts his hands on her shoulders.

She laughs a little at this and asks:

“Yeah babe?”

“Do you want to dance a little?” –He says as he puts his hand out to her.

Then he looks at me and says:

“May I borrow Lunna for a little while?”

I smile at them and say:

“Sure go ahead! Have fun you two!” –You say as she gets up and goes with him. You just wave them goodbye.

You are now once again alone, Lee Joon notices but once he’s about to give a step, he just backs off. He doesn’t make up his mind, he wants to ask you to dance, but he’s constantly afraid that it may go wrong.

“Do you want to dance? You look rather bored.” –You turn around as you see G.O with his hand in front of you.

You really wished it were Lee Joon, but G.O is a good friend, so you smile at him and take his hand and walk to the dance floor. The previous song stops playing and a romantic song began. You look around you and you and you can see the dance floor is filled with couples. Including Seungho and Lunna. You smile at this sadly, and look back at G.O who is carefully looking at your face.

“Are you alright? You look a little unlike yourself tonight.” –He says as you move to the rhythm of the music.

He’s holding you by the waist and you have your hands on his neck.

“I’m fine G.O, I have just been working so much lately. I’m exhausted.” –You say lying to your own self.

He doesn’t believe you a bit.

“You aren’t tired, you seem like something or someone is bugging you.” –He says as he turns to Lee Joon who’s standing in the sidelines looking at the glass of wine he was holding. He was touching with his finger the rim of the glass as he sighed.

You have no choice but to keep your mouth shut. All of them already knew you very well, and they know you aren’t usually that way. G.O is trying the best he can to make you feel better and to make Lee Joon realize what he’s doing.

G.O slowly leans to your face, and kisses slowly your cheek. You open your eyes surprised at what he does. He just smirks at you as if nothing had happened. As the song ends, he again leans at you this time whispering to your ear:

“Don’t be sad __________ah. He will soon see what he is missing. Give it a little more time.”

He slowly releases your waist, and places his hands on your face and slowly kisses your forehead. Lee Joon had seen what had happened, and this made him really angry. G.O looks at him smirking and walks away from you. You stay there still surprised for what he did; you kept thinking what he had told you.

“Don’t be sad __________ah. He will soon see what he is missing. Give it a little more time.”