A/N: PARTIALLY DONE. THIS HAS TAKEN FOREVER AND IT IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER SO FAR, I AM SO SORRY. This chapter was suggested to me by milkyrainbow14, thank you, despite how much I have been struggling with getting this done I had much fun imagining and plotting this! Part 2 will be uploaded in a near future I hope, I am aiming for a couple of weeks at most! I love crack, and have very bad humour, so I apologize in advance for the dialogues that probably only I will find funny...kkk 

Leo left the shared bedroom early that morning. He pulled at the sweatpants hanging loosely off his hips and smoothed the wrinkles on his shirt with his hands as he moved lazily towards the kitchen. He wanted to make breakfast for the others as it was one of those days where they were blessed with 2 - 3 more hours of sleep than usual.

Except that morning the door to Ravi's room suddenly burst open with full force, making a lot of noise. The noise startling Leo and causing him to flinch in fright. After collecting himself from the initial shock his first instinct was to scold Ravi for disrupting everyone so early in the morning, some of the members might have been rudely awoken by that noise, but quickly realized that it was not Ravi who had thrown open the door.

"Fine! You can't even begin to understand how misinformed you are. But if that is what you chose to believe then you can just drop dead Wonshik. I hate you, you are impossible!" N half-shouted, voice hoarse and distressed. Sounding nothing like the man who placed others well-being before his own, who hid his negativity in favour of being seen as a forever smiling shoulder to lean on. This N sounded raw, selfish and hurt.

N stormed out of the room, ignoring Leo - that is assuming he could even make out Leo through the red veil of anger clouding his eyes - and walked furiously to the bathroom to lock himself in.

Leo stood still, looking between the two rooms at loss of words. The duo rarely argued this fiercely and had basically been locked at the hip since their trainees days. Leo wondered if he should pull the "I'm older than you"-card on Ravi to make him talk, or threaten to dispose of N's cosmetics to make the man currently occupying the bathroom open up. In the end he did nothing, what could he do? Ravi and N were clearly arguing. As always they would make up in no time and their argument forgotten by tomorrow.

But if they wake me up with their shouting I swear I will strangle them both, Leo thought as he went to prepare breakfast.

Things did not improve however and that day was the first filled with a growing animosity between the two of many.

At first the members ignored the two sulking mule-heads, barely noticing their changed behaviour as it was not uncommon for the group to have disputes from time to time, but it was slowly becoming painfully obvious to the others that something was different. N and Ravi seemed to hold on to their anger and resentment for far too long. Holding grudges never bear any fruit, and if it does you can be certain that fruit is rotten. Leo had been the first to witness the fight but the other members of the group soon grasped the reality of the situation.

Hyuk took notice a few days later when both N and Ravi flinched away from each other after accidentally touching in the hall when they were getting ready to leave the dorm. N shot Ravi a nasty glare and hurriedly walked down the stairs. Ravi just ignored him but had an aura of anger surrounding him ever since N left that gave Hyuk unpleasant goose bumps. As they descended the floors Hyuk continued to watch Ravi nervously, seeing how the older man was awfully quiet and twitchy. Hyuk wanted to ask what was going on so badly, but bit his lip to prevent him from saying something. Maybe now was not the best time?

Leo who had observed the youngest internal struggle from afar sighed. Of course it had just been a matter of time before the others would find out, but he had hoped the duo would reconcile before it became an issue. He had actually counted on N and Ravi to forgive and forget within 24 hours, like they usually did, yet the animosity stayed, it even grew, and as it grew it became obvious that this was not something that could simply be brought up and solved at the dinner table.

Leo put his hand on Hyuk's shoulder once they were out of the building and the fighting duo was out of earshot, and leaned in to whisper, hopefully settling the youngest worries to rest for now.

"They are having a personal argument. Don't worry, leave them be and they'll make up sooner or later." Leo said quietly.

Hyuk nodded although it was clear to Leo that the youngest wanted to help usher that 'sooner' along if he could.

Hongbin noticed it a a day later when during their dance practice N never once commented on Ravi's dancing. N nagged when the others did wrong and complimented them when they got a step right, but in this Ravi was excluded. In fact N did not so much as glance over at Ravi's position during the duration of their practice.

This was odd behaviour, even if the members where having a dispute they never went this far in ignoring each other. After all communication is key to team-work, despite bad blood they knew it was vital to keep communicating with each other to be able to function as a group. But now... Hongbin began to worry. It was as if the room had dropped ten degrees around N and Ravi respectively, like a silent blizzard had manifested in their hearts, and it was disturbingly out of character.

"Ey, Ken," Hongbin called with a lowered voice during water break, glancing at N's direction where he was stretching, and then over to the other side of the room where Ravi sat with his back to them all doing the same.

"What?" Ken questioned and looked up from his hunched posture, wiping the sweat off his face with a towel.

"What's up with those two?" Hongbin asked whilst pointing at the obviously agitated pair avoiding each other at any cost. Ken looked back and forth between the duo in question and hummed in agreement.

"Ah, now that you mention it, they do seem rather off... Don't they usually spend these breaks in each other's laps?" Ken furrowed his eyebrows in contemplation as Hongbin scrunched his face in dismay. He recalled previous practices that had caused the others to question whether or not the two actually believed they were being subtle or just did not giving a .

"Don't remind me, that was so sickening to watch." Ken shook his head at this, straightening his back and crossing his arms.

"What, why? I found it cute," Ken said whilst pouting, "and it was much better than this."

Hongbin could not argue with that, he nodded just as N got up to turn on the music again.

"Enough rest! Dance teacher will be here in 20 minutes and we need to make at least the first half stick. Get up, chop chop!"

Hongbin sighed, placing his water bottle to the side as did Ken.

"I don't like this new N. He is more of a slave-driver than usual. They better reconcile quickly if this is what we are stuck with when they are butthurt," Hongbin muttered and Ken groaned in agreement, popping a few joints in his knuckles before they returned to their positions.

The day progressed without any accidents or incidents. Ken and Leo had their individual schedules that day but Hyuk and Hongbin had to endure the obvious strained tension between N and Ravi the entire day. Even when eating dinner those two managed to make it uncomfortable and aggressive. How one could make eating kimchi look like the prelude to a fight was beyond them.

Hongbin turned to Hyuk before N joined them in their room that night to voice his discomfort about the situation. Hyuk remembered what Leo had told him and said the same to Hongbin. The older boy was ready to argue that this 'later' was taking longer than necessary, but as a disgruntled and weary N entered the room they had to leave the subject alone.

Maybe they will make up tomorrow, Hyuk and Hongbin thought in unison.

Sadly Ravi and N did not.

A week passed and the warfare was as strong as ever. Stronger still after Ravi had snapped at N the previous day, causing a heated argument which led to the older man storming off out of the dorm and be missing for two full hours. The members were worried and tried to contact him, almost giving up and alerting their manager to what was going on, but N had returned and when he did he and Ravi were back to ignoring each other.

But N had not been there like the other members to witness Ravi's mask fall and his concern for N show the hours he was missing. Had not seen the regret in Ravi's eyes as N refused to answer phone-calls or text messages. Ravi had turned so quiet and obviously shaken by N's behaviour that the other members could see just how much colour that had drained from his face since that day the fighting began, and how it all returned in a flash when N came back through the door. But N had not acknowledged Ravi, or sought the gaze of the person most deprived of his attention, and as he went to the shared room alone Ravi's stoic facade was back in place and his hurt again masked with resentment.

Something had to be done.

The next morning Leo forced Ravi from the dorm to buy breakfast, claiming Ravi had eaten everything the day before and this was his punishment. Ravi, being the most difficult member to awaken in the mornings, took in the information in one half-asleep ear and spit it out the other. Before he knew it Leo had thrown Ravi his jacket at him and closed the door in his face. Ravi tried banging on the door to the dorm a couple of times before relenting and accepting his incredibly lame and made-up punishment. He left in a sour, disheveled and newly-awoken state at the same time as Leo joined the other members on the floor in the living room.

They were seated in a circle on the middle of the floor to signify equality between them. N used this technique quite often when he was on a good mood and the group needed to discuss something. Of course he could always abuse his power as the eldest to get his way and had tried to play on that a few times in the past but the members usually just ignored him. They knew N was better than that. Despite calling the members bothersome for having too many opinions, or complaining they were being too informal to him, Leo had noticed that N found the situation most agreeable and smiling in secret as he observed the others discuss something with passion.

"Okay, before Ravi returns or as long as N is showering we have time to figure out a plan," Hyuk looked nervously at the direction of the bathroom, "will that be enough?" he asked. Ken dismissed his fears with a wave of his hand.

"Don't worry, I barricaded the door to keep him from getting out without our notice." Ken grinned happily as the other three members looked at him in disbelief.

"You are crazy," Hongbin stated, earning him a glare from Ken but before he could retort Leo cut in.

"That is not the topic of today," He remarked and threatening with his gaze that if they tried to side-track this group meeting he would kick them to the next month. Ken still managed to stick his tongue out at Honbin whilst the rest of the group's attention became directed at Hyuk who cleared his throat.

"Yes that's right. The topic today is:" The youngest chimed, pulling out a piece of paper with words written on it with colourful markers, "'How To Dissolve N and Ravi's Anger Before It Dissolves Them Both, and Us With Them.'"

Ken clapped his hands while Hongbin only sighed.

"Did you write that yourself?" Ken questioned as he leaned closer across the floor to better view the craftsmanship. Hyuk smiled proudly.

"Leo helped," He said cheerfully whilst showing off the paper with pride. Ken whistled.

"With the spelling? English words are hard," Ken inquired, eyes big with wonder. Hyuk sighed dramatically.

"I know, right? But no, he picked the colours. Also on the previous one he drew a d-"

"Anyway," Leo said, cutting off Hyuk and Ken's sidetrack, "any suggestions at how we should do this?" The group fell silent as they contemplated the issue. How do you get two people who can not stand each other to open their hearts up for forgiveness and reconciliation?

Ken raised his hand suddenly.

"Lock them in a closet until they kiss and make up?" Although his voice was light he voiced it as a question, they all had to agree to the option presented for it to be accepted. But the more he thought of it the more confident he became, nodding his head to himself as if that would help persuade the others. Hongbin made an annoyed face.

"Firstly, euw. Secondly, as if they'd ever be dumb enough to let themselves be led into a situation where they would find themselves locked up against their will," He stated as it was a matter of fact. Ken pouted but lowered his hand.

"Intervention?" Hongbin suggested, looking at the eldest for approval.

"They would not listen. N is ridiculously stubborn and Ravi's too full of pride to listen to our opinions without coercion, even less so to be able to face each other so openly." Leo said and the others sighed, realizing that he was right.

"Change their anger to jealousy? Like have someone flirt with Ravi and then maybe N will change his mind about the fight," Hyuk suddenly said. The others eyed him with suspicion and a silence settled between them. Hyuk's innocent expression was met by Ken moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively causing the youngest to blush. Hongbin rolled his eyes and Leo shot Ken a glare whilst patting Hyuk's shoulder.

"Let us forget you said that," Leo's voice was final and Ken silenced his snickering after that. Leo closed his eyes in contemplation as the group once again fell silent. Coming up with a good plan seemed harder than they had anticipated.

"Just a question," Hongbin said after a while, earning him the others attention, "what is their fighting about?" He questioned causing Hyuk to scoff.

"They are having a personal argument, I've told you." Hyuk was waving his hand with dismissal in front of Hongbin's face to show displeasure at the boy not remembering what he had told him a few days ago. Honbin frowned and pushed his hand away, straightening up and pointing an accusing finger at Hyuk.

"Yes, I know that, but you did not tell me what the argument was about. So what was it?"

Hyuk opened his mouth to retort but stopped, realizing he did not have an answer. He himself did not know as he had, like the others, only seen the consequence of N and Ravi's falling out and witnessed the bad atmosphere between the two grow, not been there to see the fight first-handed. He tilted his head and, together with the rest of them, directed his attention to Leo who was sitting quietly observing them.

"Hyung?" Hyuk inquired with a soft tone as he gazed at Leo, realizing Leo had never told him the full story. Leo wondered briefly if it was his place to say but seeing as they had already commenced a group meeting over the subject it had been bound to come out.

"A misunderstanding from what I gather. I walked in on N shouting at Ravi, telling him something along the lines of being mistaken but if he believed in that misconception then N wanted nothing to do with him. The exact topic I did not hear," Leo said, carefully watching the other member's reactions.

All fell silent after that. Hongbin scratched his head in frustration.

"But, if we don't know the cause of their fight then we cannot even begin to fix this. Someone might be wrong and/or the other right. Picking sides without knowing can be disastrous. Maybe they are both wrong and us meddling will worsen things for good between them," Hongbin said in a quiet tone, everyone realizing the difficulty of the task set before them.

"I think we all know what we need to do then," Ken said after a moment.

"And what would that be?" Hyuk wondered.

"Well, we can obviously not leave them be or usher them together without knowing the cause of their fight, so therefor we should gain more information. Two of us stalk Ravi and and when he feels safe we gag him and interrogate him, same with N."

"Are you mental?" Hongbin questioned, frown on his face.

"Wow. That's actually a good idea!" Hyuk chimed nearly at the same time. Hongbin turned to him in disbelief before Hyuk elaborated. "Not the gagging or stalking part but trying to get some more information out of them. Hongbin, you are good friends with Ravi and I'm sure he would tell you what is going on if you asked," Hongbin sighed.

"Don't you think I've tried that already? When I ask he just dismisses me and I think he is starting to get annoyed."

"If Ken goes with you and lighten the mood maybe he will feel less pressure and share his thoughts more easily," Was Hyuk's response. They all took a few seconds to let the idea sink in and slowly came to realize that maybe their chance to successfully bring N and Ravi together again would improve if they chose this course of action.

"Then I and Hyuk will talk to N and get him to open up as well. Otherwise we always have plan B," They all nodded in agreement to Leo's final words.

Perhaps N and Ravi's relationship could be mended with some help.

As they huddled together one final time a loud thump was heard from the bathroom.

"What in the- what have you done to the door? KEN!!" Their leader's voice was shrill and echoed throughout the dorm, possibly awakening their manager in the process.

"One moment princess!" Ken shouted back, causing Hyuk to snicker and Leo to shake his head as Ken voiced a quick 'fighting!' before hurrying towards the bathroom door.

~★~

"What are you two aiming at?" N narrowed his eyes at Leo and the maknae that had crammed into his practice cubicle once the individual practice session had started for the day. He was in a foul mood but they had not expected any less. Hyuk fumbled with his words trying to cover up his overly-formal behaviour and Leo observed N slowly loosing interest in them.

Any other day and N would be all over Hyuk, smothering the youngest with affection like a desperate mother, but not this day. His fight with Ravi had changed him, made him more reserved and it was a change Leo did not approve of.

"We want you to tell us why you are upset with Ravi," Leo said as a matter of fact, shocking Hyuk with his honesty and making N do a double take before his eyes turned cold and hard. Hyuk pulled at Leo's sleeve, worried about the leader's anger being directed at them, but Leo stilled Hyuk's hand with his own.

"I don't want to talk about it," N said, words carefully planned that made Leo huff in annoyance.

"Yes, you do. Don't lie," he could see it in N's eyes, the tiniest hint of regret and pain that he was trying so hard to hide, and Leo could see it in N's body language, so tense from carrying this burden all alone for so long. They were same age yet N had always done so much for others and especially Leo himself; standing up from him when the other trainees had called him cold-hearted, encouraging him even when Leo tried to be left alone sulking, and listening to Leo's struggles and complaints whenever he got him to open up. Leo would be damned if he did not help N like he had been helped by this annoying leader before.

"What Leo is trying to say is that we are worried. We need to know what happened to be able to help you be happy again. Will you let us?" Hyuk gave N a sincere look that Leo knew would melt their leader's heart. N may be many things, but completely unfazed by the youngest he will never be.

N seemed to debate internally to throw them out but inevitably the warmer side of him won and he motioned for them to come closer and sit down. It was awkward. None of them knew how to start and N kept gazing at the door as if he was scared this was some sort of prank. Leo snapped his fingers in front of N to grab his attention.

"I heard your fight that day," Leo stated making N widen his eyes.

"Y-you did?"

"Not all. He only accidentally overheard the last part," Hyuk piped in. "What happened?"

N sighed. His fingers were nervously playing with the iPod in his hands, his heartbeat elevated just thinking about that day. But in the end he succumbed. Carrying this secret had been so tiring.

He wanted to be happy again.

"Where do I start..."

It was well past midnight when N sneaked out of the shared bedroom to go to Ravi's room. It could hardly be considered Hyuk's room any longer as he had started to complain that Ravi's snoring had given him dark circles and instead slept on a shared futon in the bigger shared bedroom. It was not entirely a rule that N spent his night's in Ravi's room, and he could not for the love of him remember when it had started, but it was not uncommon. Speaking in hushed voices about past, present and future before interlacing their legs and limbs as sleep took them over. They never slept better than when they were together.

This night felt different. Ravi had been sending him strange glances and stares the entire evening. It had made N feel odd, like he was being judged, but Ravi had evaded him at every instance when N was about to bring it up. Now, as he slid through the door to Ravi's room and easily spotted the rapper pretending to be asleep, N was unsure but his heart begged him to lay down next his friend, to listen to that low and soft voice until sleep took him over.

N got onto the futon and under the covers with practiced ease and turned to Ravi to speak to the younger man, but Ravi showed him his back.

Odd, I don't think he was facing that way when I entered the room, N thought as he placed the palm of his hand gently against Ravi's warm back. Ravi shuffled out of his reach. N frowned.

"What are you doing?" He whispered but voice still slicing through the silence like a sharpened knife. Ravi pulled the covers more tightly to him.

"I want to sleep." N felt his stomach drop at those words, he had looked forward to this night and an odd taste of disappointment appeared on his tongue. But he swallowed it, knowing fully well that the rapper was entitled to desire sleep, they did have an almost in-humane schedule at times. N leaned closer to Ravi's back and slung one arm over Ravi's waist. Within seconds Ravi had pushed N's arm back while still stubbornly facing away from N.

"I am serious." Ravi's back seemed more tense than usual, his voice too harsh and cold. N felt the leader in him try and burst free, to nag the rapper to open up to him. Bottling up your feelings is wrong and hurtful, both to yourself and others, and N wanted nothing else than for Ravi to confide in him. But he was also exhausted and in dire need of sleep - however little - and settled for leaning his forehead on the curve of Ravi's back between his shoulder blades. The rapper did not shrug him off this time and N fell into a silent dreamless slumber.

He had little to no clue as to how much time had passed until he woke up missing the warmth against his chest he had cuddled up to during the night. Rubbing his tired eyes with his hands he soon noticed that Ravi was sitting up, facing away from N, his head lowered in thought. N yawned and tugged at the hem of Ravi's shirt that was just in reach.

"Hey," his voice breaking a bit, thick with sleep still, "why are you not sleeping? Come lie down, it is getting cold."

Ravi did not move a muscle.

"I was thinking," the rapper finally said as N tiredly sat up beside him.

"About what?" N yawned once more whilst scratching his head on which is hair was in a disastrous state. He would have to do something about it before the others awoke or else he would undoubtedly never hear the end of it.

"Us."

N snapped his head towards Ravi so quickly he saw stars for a few seconds.

"U-us?" He repeated, heartbeat speeding up all of the sudden, making him lightheaded as it was far too early for his blood to be rushing through him like that. "What about us?"

Ravi did not speak for a long time, causing the butterflies of anticipation wither away and maggots of doubt and fear crawl through N's stomach instead to gnaw on his heartstrings. N dropped his hand from Ravi's shirt, recalling the flinch the younger gave him during the night, and clenched it in his lap instead to stop it from shaking.

"We should stop this, whatever it is. Since we are just a faze. Whatever sick and weird thing this is."

The maggots grew bigger, their bite more venomous and painful. N could feel his heart beat furiously to stay alive.

With his voice shaking, his throat dry and weak, N asked the only thing his mind could come up with. "Why?"

Ravi finally turned and N got to see his face. The anger was so clear it could have just slapped him in his face.

"Why?" Ravi mimicked with disdain, "Because this is nothing. I'm hardly boyfriend material and so this needs to end."

N felt out of breath, his heart long gone and replaced with a cold emptiness, yet the fire in Ravi's eyes ignited a fire in his own.

"What are you aiming at?" He asked, throat hurting from contained heartache and sick anger.

Ravi looked him dead in the eye, voice monotone as he said: "I could never hold serious feelings for you, I would rather quit singing.."

"He really said that?" Hyuk questioned, mouth agape with wonder. He could see how distraught N looked while re-telling the incident and felt like giving his leader a massive hug, but that would have to wait until N was done explaining. "What happened next?"

N chewed on his bottom lip whilst looking out in the air.

"I screamed at him for a bit before leaving the room. That's it," he said, voice definite and eyes still looking elsewhere than at Hyuk and Leo.

Leo's eyes narrowed.

"That's all?" Leo asked, unimpressed by the answer their leader had given them. He was holding something back, Leo just couldn't put his finger on what. The way N had empathized certain words seemed off, as if those exact words were meant to hurt N. But why?

N whipped his head towards the two members, lips at a thin line and eyes cold.

"Yes. Now leave, I don't have time for this and neither do you two. It is practice time," he said putting his earphones back into his ears and starting his iPod once again. Leo however was not done with him yet.

"Now you listen here-" He was quickly cut off by Hyuk who tugged at his arm. The younger member leaned in close to whisper.

"We still have Ken and Hongbin's mission, let us leave N for this time." Hyuk leaned back and stood straight, Leo nodded in response and the two exited N's room. Leo was doubting N had told the entire story but it was out of his hands now.

Ken and Hongbin better make Ravi talk, he thought mirthless, or else there will have to be plan B...

~★~

A company car on the roads of Seoul was currently occupied by Ken, Hongbin and Ravi as they had been assigned the task of picking up a package of new equipment they had desired for the practice room. An intern in the company was meant to assist them but Ken and Hongbin had seen their chance to talk to Ravi alone and undisturbed. They needed to take it so they gave the intern the wrong time for departure and left without him. Quietly praying the intern would not get into trouble and neither would they, Ken and Hongbin could focus on getting information out of their member. However...

The silence was suffocating. Hongbin had tried to lift Ravi's mood and get him to join in to a conversation but Ravi had no patience for them today. He was staring at his iPod, sulking the entire trip and making both Ken and Hongbin nervous and uncomfortable. He had chosen the backseat for himself and Hongbin sat in the front seat beside Ken who was driving.

"Whatever it is that you want to tell me, I don't want to hear it," Ravi said so suddenly Ken almost drove the car into an unsuspecting truck in the lane beside them. Hongbin started praying for Ken's driving skills not to fail them and get them killed in the middle of this disaster.

"What do you mean?" Ken questioned with a forced chuckle.

"I've seen the looks you two scheme-makers have been sending each other for fifteen minutes now," Ravi said with a frown, Hongbin coughed indiscreetly trying to cover up his nervous sweat as Ravi sent him a glare over the piece of technology in his hand, "I want no part in it."

The atmosphere was worse than before. However Ken gripped the steering wheel harder and swallowed thickly against the dryness of his throat, forcing the nausea and fear of confrontation into a box and setting that box on fire in his mind. He needed to be confident and strong, he had promised the others that he would get Ravi to talk and had to deliver - but above all else he wanted to be a dependable friend, show Ravi that in the VIXX family everyone could be trusted.

Ravi did not have to endure this pain alone.

"But you are a part of it. A big part of it. Vital even," Ken said and shot Ravi a pointed look through the rearview mirror, "whether you want to be or not."

Ravi scoffed.

"He's right," Hongbin chimed in, mustering his own courage at the sight of Ken's determination, "you can't deny it or dodge it any longer. Just talk to us."

Ravi looked between his two friends with confusion, putting his iPod down and leaning forward between the seats.

"Wait what? I thought you two were instigating some sort of prank. You sound serious. What's up?" His voice was interested now but cautious.

"You and N-hyung," Hongbin said.

Ravi took a sharp intake of air and anger settled on his features. Ken and Hongbin held their breaths waiting for Ravi to decide the next course of action. He seemed ready to lash out but whatever nasty comment he had planned never left his lips. His body froze up, tense and much like an angry feline he seemed to vibrate with displeasure. Whatever changed his mind from anger and confrontation was not obvious to Hongbin. One second Ravi's eyes seemed alit with fire, the next they were locked on something in the distance in front of them. Before Hongbin could follow his line of sight and see what it was, Ravi had slumped back in his seat with a deep resigned sigh. His eyes and posture was suddenly not ready for a fight, instead he looked tired, so very tired.

"What do you want to know?" Ravi questioned, forcing himself to sound alive but barely managing to sound anything but ready to give up.

"How about you start from what set off this fight?"

"Where to begin..."

Ravi had been working for hours in his own cubicle of the practice room, writing new lyrics to self-composed beats and researching inspiration to their next concept, when he finally decided to sit up straight and pop a few joints in the process. He looked up at the full-length mirror facing him and noted that he had bloodshot eyes and looked strained to the bones. The bags under his eyes were darker and he knew he would get scolded for it if he did not rest some and took care of his appearance.

Not without some difficulties did Ravi manage to push himself up to a standing position, waking up his sleeping limbs and taking a few uncertain steps much like a toddler. When he could feel the blood return to his limbs and the prickling stop Ravi opened the soundproof door and stepped out of the room. He considered searching for N and have the older man fuss over him but decided against it as he would undoubtedly not get much rest from it.

'It would be nice though,' he thought with a fond smile, 'to be taken care of by him.'

As Ravi walked towards the slide door separating the dance room and their individual sound booths' Ravi heard hushed voices from the other side. Curious he silently positioned himself close to the door and tried to make out what was being said. At first it sounded like nothing but almost inaudible grumbling and murmuring but after a few seconds his ears became used to it and he could make out two different voices in a conversation.

"... which wouldn't make me homoual as much as demiual, or so much I've come to understand online," voice number one said with glee.

"I can't believe we're having this discussion," voice number two muttered, clearly uncomfortable.

"You started it," said voice one with a snicker. "so, who would you chose?"

"Myself, of course!" Responded voice two - who Ravi could now hear was the voice of their leader N - quickly which earned him a snort from voice one.

"Oh please, quit the act." Ravi did not know why he still kept himself hidden behind the door like some petty eavesdropper but it felt wrong. He was about to leave and find another sofa to lie in other than the one in the dance room but when voice one - Hyuk! - continued the conversation he became rooted in the ground. "What about Ravi?"

Ravi felt his heart speed up at the mention of his name even though he was still struggling to understand the context. The silence lasted only a few seconds but it felt like centuries for Ravi who was waiting for N's response. At last he got what he wanted.

"Hah, you got to be joking, cut it out," N laughed and the sound hit Ravi square in the chest.

"I'm serious!" The youngest was whining and Ravi wanted to get up, return to his cubicle and forget about the strange ache that was now pulsing through his body. A joke? He was a joke to N? The desire to flee was so strong but yet his legs were not moving at all.

"Well, in that case: no. Why would I? That boy is dirty and snores too much, hardly boyfriend material." Ravi felt like Ildith in the old myth, in an instant his limbs were frozen and his entire being felt like a pillar of salt. What he and N shared, what their relationship had been - or had been building up to become - felt disintegrated in a blink of an eye.

"You don't seem to complain. Why else would you spend your nights in Ravi's room, I bet you two are already an item by now," Hyuk said so bluntly that Ravi was momentarily stunned by what he said. If Hyuk had figured out as much, how much could not the other members have secretly puzzled together. 

"That's sick!" Ravi felt his fist clench and nails dig deep into the palm of his hand at N's exclamation. "It's nothing! He told me he had trouble getting a good rest so we sit and talk a lot, somehow it makes it better. I- don't know. I can't describe it. It's a faze, we will outgrow it soon, I swear. We are good friends, anything more serious than that would just be weird." And with every word Ravi's pain grew, but the pain was not cold nor stunning, it did not give him icy shivers and numbing limbs. The pain was fire and in it grew a venomous anger, fueled further with the shame and deceit he felt had been forced on him.

"I think you two are cute," Hyuk said, his statement only further pushing a blazing dagger of pain and hurt through Ravi's heart.

"Aish, shut up you. The day I quit singing will come sooner than any declaration of love from Ravi, I can tell you that."

"Woah." Hongbin said with shock written all over his face. "What did you do then?"

"I left. I felt angry and hurt. Like our-... Friendship didn't matter." Ravi sighed and stared out the window, solemnly watching familiar streets pass by as they got increasingly closer to their destination. "I confronted him later that night. Asked if he meant what he said and he didn't deny it. So we fought and then he stormed off. Basically haven't spoken to me since."

Ken put the gear in reverse as he found a good parking spot but something was nagging his mind, and as they unbuckled their seatbelt he put his finger on it.

"But wait, what did you tell him exactly? How you felt or asked him to explain what he had said?" He questioned and narrowed his eyes when Ravi started squirming at his question.

"Is it that important? How am I supposed to remember it word for word, it was fight! You say stuff in the heat of the moment," Ravi said with a uncharacteristic whine as he gathered his things in the backseat, refusing to meet Ken's gaze. Hongbin noticed the strange behaviour as well and looked over his shoulder at his best friend.

"What about N? Do you remember what he said?" Hongbin wondered but didn't expect an honest answer. The small flinch that Ravi showed at those words was what he was looking for.

"Other than wishing me dead, no. I wasn't paying attention," were Ravi's final words, cold and sharp and without further ado he had left the car. Good thing he had taken the sour mood with him as Ken could finally let out a tired sigh.

"God, I thought we were going to die!" He exclaimed, scratching his head and watching the rapper's retreating back. "Seems like we won't get much more out of him. Do you believe what he said?" Ken looked back at Hongbin who was deep in thought.

"I do. Or at least, I think that he believes that is what happened. But we can't draw any conclusions until we've found out what Leo and Hyuk has gotten out of N. Let's leave it be for now." He said trying to cheer Ken up. He was very susceptible for emotions, positive and negative, and Hongbin knew that if Ken's smile started to falter then the group would most definitely be in danger. So he smiled his trademark dimple-smile and patted his friend on the shoulder. "Let's focus on bringing the package back for now, okay?"

Ken returned the smile with ease and mini-shouted a 'fighting!' before leaping out of the car. Hongbin shook his head from the sudden explosion of enthusiasm but could not help the laughter that left his lips.

Hongbin unbuckled his belt and prepared to leave the car, still unsure if they had succeeded in their mission or not at the time, but as he got up from his seat a pile of polaroid pictures on the dash in front of the passenger seat caught his attention. He had not paid them any notice during the trip but as his line of sight was now elevated his eyes got stuck on the top polaroid picture. It was a picture of N and Ravi sleeping in the same chair backstage at one of the smaller venues. They looked very content in the picture. Hongbin shifted his gaze to where the rapper was now standing moping with an overly-excited Ken at his heel. Hongbin smiled meekly.

His friend really was head over heels in love with their leader.

Better pray this wound heals well and soon, Hongbin thought with worry, or it will definitely leave an ugly scar.

~★~

End of Part 1.