Heungsoo’s POV

Namsoon rushed to pull me away from his girl. I was satisfied. But then I looked into his teary eyes and regretted it in an instant. He apologized and ran away, leaving me behind speechless. I expected him to hit me and tell me to not touch his girl, but he didn’t even look at her once. I didn’t understand him. Hakyung looked at me with her eyes wide opened.

“Why did you do that?” she asked hesitantly.

“I felt like it” I replied and went back into the classroom. I didn’t really care what she thought and sat down quietly. The bell rang and the kids were coming back to class, except Namsoon. The noisy girl glanced at me angrily and sat down. Apparently, she didn’t find him. Where did he go?


I hadn’t seen him yesterday anymore. I suppose he went home right after the incident. When I entered the classroom, I couldn’t see him again. He didn’t come. Whatever. I sat down and stared into space. Teacher Jung came in and started her lesson, asking us why Namsoon wasn’t there. That noisy girl hissed quietly, obviously blaming me for it. Then the door suddenly opened. Namsoon came in and shocked every single one of us. One could hardly recognize him. His face was swollen and covered with scratches, got a black eye, too. I swallowed heavily. What happened to him? Did he fight with someone? No…he wouldn’t look like that if he had fought back…

“Are you alright, Namsoon-ah? Should I take you to the hospital?” teacher Jung asked worrying about him.

“I’m okay, sorry for being late.”

“That’s alright, don’t worry about it…”

I didn’t dare to look at him. Did I cause that? Did he go insane because of what I did yesterday? No, that can’t be the reason…Why should he let someone beat him up like that because of such a small matter? No, that wasn’t the reason. I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t my fault.

Class ended and I felt the urge to ask Namsoon what happened, but I didn’t. I couldn’t allow myself to give in again. I said I wanted to see him as broken as I was. How could I give in right away?

On the next day Namsoon dragged himself into class, sitting down immediately and groaning in pain quietly. He looked exhausted and his eyes were showing the pain he felt. Didn’t he sleep well? I told myself to not care. However, Namsoon looked like that the whole week. No, it became worse every day. He barely managed to keep his eyes open. He seemed like he lost weight, too. What the hell is he doing? Can’t he even take care of himself? I somehow felt weird. I didn’t want to see him like that, no matter what happened between us. Was it really my fault he looked like that? …I didn’t like it.

The sun set already as I left home. I finally admitted to myself that I was worried and my silent room was killing me, so I went out for a walk. I wanted to think about something else, however, that plan failed as I saw Namsoon. He was working at a gas station. He seemed tired. Since when did he work here? I’d never seen him there before. I hid so he wouldn’t notice me and observed him a little. It’s late…how long does he work?... did he work after school, too? Of course he would be exhausted like that! Aish, that idiot. I waited an hour until Namsoon finished work. He left slowly and suddenly fell down. My heart skipped a beat. I immediately approached him. It took him a while until he picked up himself. He looked at me surprised. I pretended I just arrived and haven’t really see it.

“What are you up to?” I asked, trying to hide I was worried.

“Nothing. I just finished work for today…why are you here?”

“Just because.”

I quietly looked at him for a while until he left. He was definitely up to do something stupid again. I knew him, so I decided to follow him.

When he reached his destination I got a shock. Taesun. What is he doing here? I observed the situation.

“You did well, Namsoonie. But you know…a week passed already and we still need more money…”

Did he work to earn that money? Are they threatening him?

“Mwo?”

“You are right, I shouldn’t ask you again. Let’s talk to Heungsoo instead.”

Mwo? He actually planned to get the money from me?...Why did he end up asking Namsoon?

“Leave Heungsoo out of this, Saekki-yah.”

I gulped. He said it again. That day when Jungho wanted to beat me up, he had said that, too…did he do it so they wouldn’t bother me?...wae? I wasn’t even nice to him…I even played with him…

“What did you just call me? Son of a . Did you really think we would let you of with giving us money once? You are so naive. I’ve told you more than once. Abandon that bastard and save your own , michyeo Saekki. We found out where he lives anyway. We followed you to school and we him there. It’s okay for you to run away now. We won’t bother you since you obediently gave us the money today.”

Namsoon approached him and started a fight with all of them. I wanted to help him, but he didn’t need any help. He tried to strangle Taesun, beating all of them up nonstop, screaming. He lost his mind. What have I done? The others left Taesun and Namsoon behind and saved their own asses. The look in Namsoon’s eyes was scary. He seemed like he would kill that guy. And my fear was about to become true. Namsoon pushed Taesun to the ground and continued hitting him, though he was covering with blood. I had to stop him. I ran over to them, wrapped my arms around Namsoon and pulled him away.

“Let go of me!” he screamed and tried to free himself.

“Calm down, Saekki-yah!” I yelled so he could hear me.

“Let go of me! I will kill him!!”

Taesun stared at us.

“Aren’t you leaving, bastard?! Run!” I ordered him, feeling the urge to hit him myself.

“Aish! Don’t you dare!”

“Run!”

Taesun picked himself up and ran away as fast as he could. I waited a moment but then loosened my grip. Namsoon pushed me away.

“Michyeosseo?! What did you do?! Aish, I will kill him.” He tried to follow Taesun, but I held him back.

“Calm down, Namsoon-ah!” I almost begged.

“Let go of me!!”

No matter what I said, he wouldn’t be able hear me. I had once seen him like that and it was scary. Namsoon totally lost control and almost hurt himself badly. I hated seeing him like that again, but I hated myself even more for being the reason this happened again. Before things worsened I shoved him to the wall, grabbed his wrists and made him unable to move. He screamed, he was in pain, he suffered. He was bleeding and it didn’t seem like he even noticed that. I couldn’t waste time. Namsoon-ah…look at me. Please calm down…What should I do? It was only then I remembered. Back in time when he was in rage, I used to embrace him, ruffling his hair, caressing his cheek. He usually calmed down after a short while. I should try it again. But I didn’t think that it would help if I’d hug him. I had to do something else. What should I do…kiss? … I had no time to think, I had to try. So I leaned forward and locked our lips. In an instant he calmed down. I took a small step back to look at him. He stared at me and I sighed in relieve. “You finally calmed down…”

I was about to cry. Namsoon avoided my gaze and bit his lip. Is he disgusted?...

“We should go home, you have to be treated. You bleed heavily.”

He looked at me again, and seemed a little confused. Then he suddenly squeezed his eyes.

“Are you okay?” I asked worried.

“Uh…” he replied.

I sighed and turned around. “Let’s go to your home. I will help you treating your wounds.” I took a few steps – my heart skipped a beat. I turned around again. Namsoon lay on the ground unconscious. “Namsoon-ah!” I hurried and pulled him into my arms. I called the ambulance right away.

I sighed heavily, waiting for the doctor to tell me what was wrong with Namsoon. Ah, finally! I stood up and looked at the doctor who just left the room.

“Are you the friend of this patient?”

“Yes, I am…”

“Did your friend have a fight?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I just saw him lying on the ground as I took a walk…Is he alright?” I lied, but I didn’t want to cause more trouble for Namsoon.

“Well, his condition is steady for now, but he has a lot of bruises all over his body and a wound at his head. He has to be careful. Moreover, he didn’t seem to eat and sleep properly. His body isn’t in a good condition so we have to keep him here for a week.”

I nodded, unable to say anything. What have I done? I choked my tears. “Can I see him?”

“He is sleeping right now. You can go in but please be quiet so he won’t wake up.”

I nodded again and quietly entered the room, sat down beside his bed. Namsoon slept soundly, with a slight smile on his face. Babo-yah…my eyes filled with tears again. This time I wasn’t able to stop them from falling. What have I done? I regretted it. I regretted trying to hurt him on purpose. I reached out and held his hand carefully in mine, caressing it the back of his hand with my thumb. I decided to stay by his side…

As I opened my eyes again, I looked right into these pure eyes of the injured boy. Namsoon was awake and slightly smiling. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Aish, I must’ve fallen asleep.

“Good morning” he uttered exhausted.

I kept an eye on him. “Are you okay?...”

“Mh, sorry for causing trouble.”

“Yah, what are you saying?” I sighed. “Just don’t ever do that again, Saekki.”

“Mh…”

“…are you really okay?” I wanted to confirm it again.

“I’m really alright…it’s not the first time I got beaten up.” He sat up.

“Yah, what are you doing?...”

“I have to leave. I actually don’t have money, I can’t pay the hospital bill, so I better leave.”

Is that the reason he didn’t eat properly, too? Because he gave all the money he had to these bastards because of me? I felt horrible. I carefully pushed him down to the bed again. “I will pay it, so stay in bed and get well soon.”

Namsoon looked at me surprised. “Why? You don’t have to do that…I don’t want to be a bother…”

“You aren’t…”

Silence.  I wondered what he thought about, but I couldn’t ask something like that. I sighed in my head.

“You don’t have to stay here.” Namsoon suddenly said. I looked at him. “I understand that you hate me and that you are angry. Still, you even helped me yesterday. I really caused enough trouble already so…”

“Ah, you are noisy.” I hissed. “Aren’t we in the middle of making up? So stop saying things like that.” I got up.

“I’ll bring you some food, so stay here until I come back.”

I left the room, leaving him behind speechless. Somehow, these words were said so naturally, that it scared me. But these were my true feelings. I wanted to make up with him, though I hadn’t forgiven him yet. But still I didn’t want to fight with him anymore and I honestly missed my best friend. Seeing him suffer like that made things worse instead of making them better. And how could I continue as before when I knew what he had done for me? I should stop fighting my feelings. I don’t want him to suffer any longer…I want him back.