Hana walked through the halls of the SM Entertainment building. She was on her way to the dance studio to pick up her journal that she kept the lyrics she wrote in. The poor girl had left it there when flower practiced yesterday. As she walked closer to the dance studio she heard music playing. She recognized the music being one of the trainees’ typical dance and choreography training songs. Not to mention it was with her favorite trainer, Lee HyunJung. HyunJung-ssi was strict at times but she kept the girls in line and wasn’t biased to any one trainee. After Hana had improved in her dancing, the trainer did start to like her and now that she is about to debut HyunJung missed her little flower.

As Hana walked into the studio, she tried to be as discrete as possible walking over to where she left her book. She knew it must have been in her favorite corner; she looked around (avoiding the trainee’s stuff) to no luck. Hana sighed, she didn’t see it anywhere. Maybe the cleaning crew had grabbed it when they tidied up last night?  Nodding to herself she went to leave when she heard a familiar voice.

“Hana-ah! You aren’t going to leave us without one round of dancing right? Maybe some words of encouragement for these girl? They’re starting to get discouraged.” Hana knew immediately it was HyunJung. She turned around and looked at the early yet middle aged lady. She nodded, rolled up her sleeves and tied back her long hair.

 

“You still remember how to do this Hana-ah? Or did all of your flower training days make you lazy.” A trainee called out, some of the girls snickered. Hana was used to this. Most trainees didn’t like her – and Hana knew this.

 

“-ssi. She’s –ssi to you now.” HyunJung corrected the girls, they rolled their eyes.

 

She looked at them through the mirror and just nodded; HyunJung knew that cue and the music.  The track mix started to play and Hana danced, showing the trainees up. She remembered all of the moves and did them without any effort. She knew that if anything, the training with flower made her a better dancer. She learned off of others and since Rabi was such a good dancer, she picked up on some things that made HyunJung smile.

 

In the end, Hana turned around to the girls and smiled widely. “It felt nice to dance with all of you again. Feel free to be informal still, as I am young and was once training with all of you guys and I know many of you by face and name.” She nodded slightly and looked around to all of the girls – seeing the faces of some girls she didn’t want to necessarily see.

 

“On an encouragement note – all of you guys know where your strengths and weaknesses are. Try your hardest to hone onto the good and improve the bad. Let music free you and you will enjoy your training. Okay? I wish you all the best of luck in the future, and I look forward to seeing you guys on the same stage as me. Hwaiting!” She put her fist up in the air and then bowed to the girls before saying her thanks to HyunJung and walking out. Behind her, she heard HyunJung telling the girls, practice was over. Hana let her hair down again, wearing the scrunchie as a bracelet

 

Hana walked down the halls towards the janitor’s office. All of those on the cleaning staff knew Hana by name since she would often stay behind late and work extra time. She got closer to the upcoming corner when she felt people behind her. She turned and picked up her pace. The feeling was all too familiar. She got close enough to the janitor’s office and turned around to see three of the girls that were always causing her trouble during her time as a trainee: Bang Kyung Mi, Kim MinSun, and Shin SangHee.

 

Hana tilted their head. “Is something wrong?”

 

That’s when she saw it. Her pale teal book with a nature design on it using flowers and birds. SangHee stood in front of the other two – holding it. The girl’s expression wasn’t pleasant. It was angry. Hana knew this all too well since she used to be SangHee’s roommate when she first became a trainee.

 

.: About a year and a half ago:.

Hana walked behind the receptionist as she leaded her to her new home. Hana had to move into the dorms to be a trainee – she knew she was to have a roommate: Shin SangHee was the girl’s name. At least – that was the name she saw on her form. The girl was older than her and has been a trainee for a full year already.

 

As the receptionist walked to room 606 of the dorms she whispered under her breath “good luck”. Hana looked at her, receiving her key, unlocking her door and going in. The room was…

 

Pink..

 

Very pink. The whole room was taken up except for a small corner. She walked over to that small corner and put her stuff. Luckily she only had a little bit, so she could fit in this corner she was granted easily.

 

She look around: there was two of everything: 2 dressers, closets, 2 beds, 2 desks.  But as she looked on the floor there was pink duct tape that portioned out the room, with the little ¼ of the room being given and a small walkway to the door. Hana sighed, she didn’t even meet the girl yet and SangHee doesn’t even like her.

As she looked at what she was granted by her roomie: a bed, and a desk she decided to use the desk drawers for her clothes and utilities. The rest would have to be assorted into bags or stacks. She needed to keep herself somewhat organized and luckily – Hana didn’t bring much.

 

She was almost done when she heard the door open behind her.

 

“Ugh. The new girl’s here.” When she looked back she saw a tanned Korean girl with dyed light brown hair, it was curled tightly. Behind her were two other girls. They both had black hair and were pale, one though wore her hair up in a ponytail and the other had shortly cropped hair.

 

“I’m SangHee” the tanned one said. She pointed to the other two. “MinSun, and KyungMi – they’re my friends and you – “

 

“I’m Hana.” She thought the older girl meant it as a question until she was interrupted by. “Are not worthy of being anywhere near me.”

 

That’s when Hana knew: this wasn’t going to end well. Hana’s training extent was fine except for the bullying. She wasn’t bad in anything they taught which made girls jealous. Especially SangHee. But all Hana would keep doing is try her best and smile. The bullying usually consisted of pushing, throwing things at her, making he do extra chores so SangHee wouldn’t have to work. Hana never once complained until the one day SangHee brought over a male.

 

Hana stared at the boy, keeping to her corner of the room when SangHee turned to her and went. “Get lost. Don’t you see I have company? Leave and go buy us a meal, bring it back her with some soju and then sleep in the hallway for the night.”

 

Hana looked at SangHee and then at the boy. 

 

“No. I will leave – but I will go practice my off so I can continue being better than you. I’m going to make sure I debut before you.” Hana grabbed her stuff and started to walk to the door.

 

“What?” SangHee walked over and pushed the smaller girl down. “How dare you disrespect me? Hana? Hana – the number one flower? [a/n: in Korean Hana means one and in Japanese Hana means flower] Psh! You’re nothing but wilted weeds that are decomposing in the trash. Hana felt a strike on her back side as the older girl kicked, continuing as she yelled.

 

“I let you into my room, I give you space. I treat you the best out of everyone and here you are” she hit her even harder. “You disrespect me!!! You can’t dance, your voice is trash, you can’t act, you can’t rap, you’re not even pretty!” Every word she said was two blows to Hana.

 

Hana felt tears streaming down her face, this was it –

 

“Ya! SangHee stop it!” She looked over to see the boy pulling SangHee back, and Hana ran – she took off for her life. She ran to the entertainment building, into the dance rooms and cried.

 

That night marked the day of her real training. She – from that point on: dancing, singing, acting, languages, variety skills – all of that was her life. She would learn instruments and make music.

 

That was her happiness. And you know what?

 

Hana never lived with SangHee from that point on. Apparently SangHee’s dad paid money to SM to let them have Sanghee’s room be a single and Hana was put into a makeshift room at the end corner that used to be a Janitor’s closet.

 

From that point on – the staff who worked for SM loved Hana. She didn’t complain to them, she was respectful and she worked hard. And the more trainees would do this – the more Hana would work harder and just take the crud they gave her.

 

.:Present Day:.

“Wilted~ Flower~ Piece of Trash~” SangHee sang, the girls behind her joined in.

“You want this?” she dangled the book in front of Hana. “Here, have it!” She tossed it at the girl and Hana caught it, but was distracted in trying to catch it. Before she could even realize that the girls had took out scissors and lunged at her.  She felt a punch and a kick, she huddled on the floor when she heard a scream. “Ya! “ She looked up to see the cleaning lady glaring at them.

 

The girls ran off as fast as they could; Hana was left there… her hair was now a choppy mess.

 

“Aish… Oh you poor child. You never do anything wrong…” The older woman dusted off the young girl and helped her up.

 

“Kamsamnida.” Was all Hana could manage, she knew she had to do something with her hair, or else.

 

She pulled up her hood and bowed. “Thank you very much Ahjumma. Please have a nice day.”

 

“You too child, be safe.”

 

Hana ran off to the nearest salon, getting her hair cut to her shoulders – it was strange to see her new self. Her once length hair was now short, something she wasn’t used to. She said her thank you, and her adieus, walking back to the flower dorm with her book.

 

As she walked through the door she saw both of her unnies. Rayne was preparing dinner while Rabi was watching TV learning.

 

“Hey~ Hana…ah.. Oh my, what happened to your hair?” Rabi ran over and inspected the girl, Rayne shortly followed suit.

 

“I just wanted to try something new. That’s all…” Hana forced a smile, using her hand to move a strand away from her face, revealing a small bruise. All of a sudden a pair of arms embraced her.

 

“You liar. Something happened.” Rabi held the maknae and soon Rayne held them both as well.

“You let us know, we’ll keep you safe. Where are these people at –we’ll get them.”

 

The girls chuckled as they stood in a group hug.

 

Little did the other two members of flower know that that was all she needed; Hana felt rejuvenated.

Her unnies were her second family, her new life, her way to express her gratitude and hardships.

She felt tears fall down her face, but these tears weren’t those of sadness but from gratitude and happiness.

 

This was Hana’s rejuvenation into being an idol and although she would still receive nasty looks from  SangHee and some messages given to her in secret – she didn’t care. Because she was safe with flower; she was where she belonged.