He's as cold as ice but Amber knows that underneath the exterior of it all, he's as warm as sunshine on your back. Sure, Kyuhyun had a barrage of snarky remarks for everyone, and even sometimes, Amber, herself, but she knows he's not all that bad.

He likes to about her korean pronounciation, and her chinese, but she always turned around and poked fun back at his english. Most people say Cho Kyuhyun isn't a nice guy to talk to, and Amber would agree to a certain extent. But she's seen him at his most vulnerable - when he's scared. Amber couldn't remember a time where she wasn't trying to help Kyu hyun overcome his fears. He'd always go and confess to her, as if she was the local pastor, and her bedroom was a confessional booth. He'd go on about his worries of the future, and his homesickness. He would cry about how the other guys in the group would bully him at times (Amber would always make sure to point out that sometimes, he did deserve it). Most of all, though, he was worried about being in love with someone who didn't want him back.

Amber knew who she was, it was evident in the way he watched her from afar when the cameras were away. When he'd get giddy at the prospect of doing a shoot with her group, always hoping that she would be involved.

''It's ok, oppa.'' she would rub his back, letting him know she was there. He wouldn't know that she was afraid as well, of the same thing. She was afraid of love as well, and of the one she liked not wanting her back.

''You'll be fine, oppa. I promise. I think Seohyun likes you.''

Kyuhyun had scoffed,

''where did you come up with that assumption? the way she refers to me as being comfortable? or that she always greets the other guys first, and sometimes forgets to greet me?''

''y..you're looking into things. Maybe she feels the same way, but she's also afraid.''

''of what?''

''of rejection.''

Kyuhyun looked at Amber, confused. ''Why would she think that I would reject her?''

''well, you haven't exactly been honest to her about your feelings. Just look at the way you shun off all the couple rumours about the two of you.''

They sat in silence, and the only sound that could be heard was from the window in the bedroom, a soft breeze floated inside, tickling the back of Amber's neck. She involuntarily shivered, and Kyuhyun asked her if she was okay.

''it's just ..cold.'' she rubbed her arms up and down and laughed, ''it's summer, but it's SO cold. weird, isn't it?''

''I'm going to let her know.''

Amber froze, staring at the floor.

''You have to let him know as well.''

There was the obvious sound of stammer in her voice as she tried to change the subject, and Kyuhyun took it to be nerves of another kind. Not the nerves of what Amber was really feeling - the pain of wanting someone who didn't want you back, and knowing for certain that he didn't want her back.

''Are you sure?'' Amber hesitated in asking him. She didn't want to tell him not to, considering up to this point all she'd ever done was tell him to confess. She couldn't back out now.

Kyuhyun sighed and bowed his head. He then fell back on the bed, exhausted. He stared up at the plain white ceiling, lost in his own thoughts. Amber watched him, biting her bottom lip, and screaming from within to not blurt it out. To keep it inside - to keep her own confession inside.

Kyu hyun got up from the bed after a while, and Amber watched him open the bedroom door. He thanked her and gave a small wave of goodbye. Amber had to mentally fight with herself to not make the evening a disaster. Kyu hyun had informed her that tonight was the night, and Seo hyun would now.

The door closed, and Amber was left, blinking back sudden hot, tears.

She chided herself, telling herself that she was stupid to ever believe that at some point he would notice her. It was pathetic to wait for so long for someone who was clearly besotted with another. Seo hyun had his heart, and she'd had it for two years and counting. It seemed, with every reality check, the truth became harder to swallow. She wiped her eyes over and over.

Kyu hyun knew that she liked someone, but he didn't know who. He might never know.




It had been done and dusted. It was all out.

Seo hyun had accepted him - much to Amber's surprise. She watched the two arm in arm as Kyu hyun , and she slapped his arm in a playful manner. They were at SNSD's dorm, for a get together, random SM employees.

Amber sat by herself in the front living room, with the tv blaring a mobile commercial. Someone sat beside her - she felt the seat lower, and she turned to see Kris. Kris smiled at her, ''hey.''

''hey.'' Amber answered. She let out a heavy sounding sigh, and knew in an instant of that mistake, that Kris would ask her what the matter was. Amber couldn't explain it even to herself. She wasn't quite there yet with acceptance of Kyu hyun and Seo hyun's relationship. Every one had a person they could go to about their worries, and Amber's person was Kris. Before Kris came into her life, she hadn't anyone in particular. Kris had opened up a side of her that she hadn't known was bursting to escape. But even he, as far as she was aware, didn't know about how she felt for Kyu hyun. She'd been too afraid of being told the obvious - that he wasn't interested in her, and she had to give up on him.

''do you want to go out and get some fresh air?'' Kris, instead, questioned. Amber, after having stared blankly at a television screen for so long, figured she might as well.

It was cold out, and Amber shuddered at the sudden gust of air that flew past her as the door opened.

They stepped outside together, and Kris commented on the weather, admitting that he was looking forward to the hot summer. He was going to rent out a summer house for himself and a few friends, and he invited her. Amber declined the invitation, citing that she didn't want to make his friends feel awkward with a randomer tagging along. Kris shook his head, ''no way.. they're chill. believe me.''
''I don't know, Kris.'' her thoughts were miles away from the subject, as she heard the sound of Kyu hyun from inside talking loudly. Seo hyun was laughing at some witty remark he'd did. It was probably a pun. She scolded herself yet again, and forced herself to push back down the jealousy that was clearly fuming inside of her. Before she fell for Kyu hyun, Seo hyun had been like an older sister to her, and she didn't want that to change because of a silly unrequited love.

''hey, amber.''

''amber.''

Kris called her more than three times, before Amber felt something on her shoulders. Kris held onto her shoulders, ''you're shivering.'' he explained, as she looked up at him, and they were out once again.

Kris, watching each drop of them, hurriedly pulled her into a tight embrace. He didn't say anything, and Amber let out all her frustrations and all her broken dreams unto him. She grabbed tightly onto the top he was wearing, pulling it towards her in anger. Kris repeatedly rubbed the back of her head.





A few months went by, and Amber was back at SNSD's dorm.


''Ah! Amber!'' Seo hyun greeted her as she opened the door.

''happy birthday, unnie.'' Amber smiled, and hugged Seo hyun, patting her back. Seo hyun laughed in response, and then thanked her timidly. She was blushing, and Amber pointed it out.
''it's just a birth day.'' Seohyun responded. She was embarassed of having all the attention on her for a whole day.

Amber walked into the living room, and found Kris sitting inside. He got up from where he was sat, and walked over to her.

Amber swallowed as had suddenly grown dry from the sight of him. An awkward silence commenced between the two, and finally, Kris asked her the question - the question she had been avoiding since that day out in the cold, that day she had cried on his chest.

''Have you thought about it?''

Amber her lips. Her heart beat wasn't acting normal.

The sound of more people walking through the dorm made Amber walk away, telling him she'd get back to him later.


She hadn't believed him then, but with every day that went past, the more apparent it became that he was serious. Amber found it hard to look him in the eyes majority of the time, and whenever a situation occured that she'd be in the same place as him, she'd try her best to get something to keep her occupied. She couldn't face him - and it wasn't like she disliked him.

She was just..confused.



Seo hyun had a lovely white cake sat, waiting for her outside on the back porch.

''You have to make a wish.'' Eunhyuk had said, and Kyuhyun commented that her wish had already come with him being her boyfriend. People laughed, and Seo hyun rolled her eyes - at this point, it seemed she was used to this treatment.

They each ate a slice of cake, while they sat around the table, chatting away about whatever topics came to mind. Amber knew that Kris was watching, and she found it incredibly hard not to make eye contact back, when he was facing opposite her side of the table. He gave her a small, warm smile, and Amber returned it. His smile - something that she had been used to seeing for so long, made her feel as if her legs were made of jelly. And she knew, that the last time she had felt that, it'd been for the birthday girl's boyfriend.




-

''Why not?'' Amber had shrugged in response.

''hey, what's with that light reply? you're making me feel bad.'' Kris laughed it off, clearly not offended, and Amber laughed nervously back.

''But don't expect anything!'' Amber warned, with a finger held high. Kris' smile turned into a smirk,

''if that's what you want.''

and it took a while before Amber realised that he wasn't afraid of her warning. He was going all out, and he was ready, and he wasn't afraid of their friendship growing spoiled.

and something, about how ready and eager he seemed, made Amber feel safe, and comfortable, and warm.



Like sunshine gazing on her back.