"Careful! Ouch! What the heck!" Ella yelped. She whirled around with a glare. "Didn't you see the rock? I told you it was there!"

            "My bad," Jin Young replied with a shrug. After three weeks in recovery, Ella was released from the hospital with strict orders of no physical activities and immediate physiotherapy sessions. Just the thought of someone yanking on her ankle didn't sit well in her stomach, but what's life without pain and injury, right? 

            The weather was clearing up, finally showing signs of the spring season, yet her thoughts were clouded by the disappearance of her boyfriend. 

            'Right, ex-boyfriend,' she bitterly thought. Her parents greeted her enthusiastically at the door while Haneul scoffed from the stairs. She still couldn't forgive the three for sending her to their grandmother's house. For hours, she was lectured about manners and proper table etiquette.

            ‘What's the point of having so many forks when you can have just one? Old hag...’ Haneul thought bitterly. She mentally smite her family and stormed upstairs. Ella watched her leave and glanced warily at her parents.

            "Is she still mad?"

            "Most definitely, but I don't see the purpose of her anger. Then again, I never want to question the female mind. Too elaborate for me to handle," Mr. Choi laughed. "Let's get you upstairs now, shall we?" 

--

            "Ow! Door frame! Jin Young-sshi, are you trying to hurt me on purpose?" Ella scowled. The trip up the stairs was quite a fiasco, especially when both her father and friend were on two completely different pages. When one would go left, the other went to the right. If one went up, the other pulled down. 

            'Men, they never listen to anybody but themselves,' Ella thought. With one last bump over the floorboard, Ella "safely" made it into her room. 'Finally, home at last,' she sighed. Jin Young helped her out of the wheelchair and they hobbled over to the bed. Just as he was about to sit her down, she tripped on her casted foot and they went tumbling down onto the bed. He flipped their positions so that she fell on top of him. 

            "Are you okay?" he asked right away, checking her for any signs of further injury, ignoring his own pain.

            "I'm fine, are you?" She scrambled off and grabbed a hold of her bed frame. Reaching out, she helped him up and he groaned in pain. "I'm so sorry! Where does it hurt?" She bit her lip and glanced at him. Jin Young winced as he sat up. 

            "It hurts here," he said and pointed to his lips. "Fix it."

            Ella blushed a crimson red and turned away. He smirked at her reaction and continued staring her down, waiting for her to do something. 

            Ella couldn't look him in the eye. She couldn't deny the fact the she felt some sort of attraction to him, but a nagging feeling in her chest reminded her that Sandeul was still there. Their relationship ended badly and she didn't feel that they both left it with a sense of closure. Although he had ended it, it was still in a grey area for her, still uncertain.

            "I'm waiting. It'll only go away with your help." He was obviously tricking her, but she leaned in quickly and gave him a soft peck. What? He has asked. 

            "I feel like I'm cheating on Sandeul oppa."

            "Well, you guys aren't together anymore, right? Then there's no need to feel guilty."

            'Still...'

--

            "I'll see you in a week. Remember to stay off that foot," the doctor warned. Ella waved from her seat as her father wheeled her out of the office. Her first session was one she would never forget.

            "That, by far, was the worst thing I have ever experienced in my whole entire life. Oh, the pain. My poor little leg," she whimpered, patting her cast gingerly. The doctor hadn't held back on her, despite it only being the first visit of several. He had twisted and pulled, stretching out her muscles and rotated her stiff ankle. Despite her tears, he didn't give her a break from the torturous session commonly known as physiotherapy. 

            "Worse than getting hit by a car?" He looked at her incredulously.

            "Definitely. I didn’t feel the car that time. This, I definitely felt this," she groaned as another wave of pain shot up her leg.

            "I'm sorry, honey. I'll tell him to go easy next time."

            "No, it's okay. Like they say: “No pain, No gain”. Oh, Dad, can you drop me off at the school? Jin Young-sshi wants to meet up."

            Mr. Choi raised an eyebrow and asked, "Are you two dating now?"

            Ella grew flustered and shook her head profusely, all while waving her arms around wildly.

            "It's not like that, Appa! He's just catching me up on schoolwork that I had missed."

            "Catching you up, huh? Whatever you say dear," he said with a smile.

            "Appa!" 

--

            "I want to find him."

            The air grew silent as they sat across from each other. Wind rustled the leaves above them and their metal seats turned colder with the dropping temperature. She turned to him, waiting for his response, but he was staring off into the distance.

            "I want to find him," she repeated. 

            "I know you do. I want to find him too, but where do we start? He's been missing since..." he trailed off. "What do you think we should do?"

            It was her turn to get lost in thought. Everyone she had asked knew nothing of his disappearance or gave her the same answer. All they knew was that he stopped showing up at school.

            "He was last seen at the train station, right?"

            "Yeah, but where would he go?"

            "Home."

--

            Seagulls flew above, circling the skies amongst the clouds, their beady eyes scanning the beaches below for any scraps of food or innocent patrons to aim at. The sunlight reflected off the Busan waters, lighting the horizon golden yellow. Ella wheeled out of the train car, shading her eyes from the sudden bright sunlight. She double checked for her night bag on her wheelchair before heading out of the terminal, flagging a taxi. After 2 days of pleading and research, she was in Busan on a mission to find and bring back Sandeul. Hopefully her trip ended well.

--

            The taxi drove through town, passing by stores and local markets before steering off onto a small road leading to the countryside. Cement buildings progressively changed into brick houses, wood barns, and eventually, into forestland and open fields of crop. Every few acres, houses popped up, obscured by underbrush and big oak and willow trees. 

            'Wait for me, Oppa. I'll save you.'

--

            They pulled up to a small house on the outskirts of the countryside, one of the last houses on the street. If they drove any further, they would hit wild field.

            Sandeul's house was quaint. For a family of three, the open yard and vast lands was more than enough room for him to grow up with an imaginative childhood. Ella could picture him running through the fields of overgrown grass, picturing himself as a jungle adventurer, stalking the King of the jungle and other wild beasts.

            The nice taxi driver wheeled her through the front yard and to the door. She climbed the steps, holding onto him for support and approached the front door. Its red demeanor welcomed her, pulling her into the wonders of Sandeul's childhood. With a racing heart, she reached up and rang the doorbell, not knowing what to expect when it opened.

--

            She was in the car again, her mind running on overdrive. Her brain could not comprehend everything that she had heard at his house.

*flashback*

            "Hello, can I help you?" the lady at the door asked. She was small and fragile, her hair graying at the roots. Wisdom adorned her face in the form of wrinkles, her years of knowledge emanating off her bright aura. 

            Ella bowed respectively before speaking. "Hello, my name is Choi Ella. I'm Sandeul's best friend."

            "Ella? Please, come in. I've heard a lot about you." 

            The taxi driver helped her sit and bowed.

            "I'll wait for you in the car."

--

            "He only stayed at home for about a week. One day, I woke up and he was gone. Packed all his belongings and just left." Sandeul's grandmother sighed, staring at one of the pictures on the fireplace mantle. Ella nodded her head, reaching over to pat the elder lady's hand in comfort. 

            "Did he tell you where he was going or leave a message or anything?"

            "No. Not even a letter," she replied. Ella's heart sank with the only glimmer of hope she had left in finding him. "He didn't leave a letter," Mrs. Lee continued, "but he did take my credit card. He used it once, only once. He must have been desperate for money if he had to use it, knowing he would risk revealing his whereabouts to me." 

            Suddenly she felt the spark of hope re-ignite and her heart began to race with anticipation. Maybe there was a chance she could find him after all.

            "Did...did you find out where he was staying?"

            Mrs. Lee gave her a soft smile, looking at her for the first time since her story of her missing son.

            After some time, she finally said, "He's living in the city, in an apartment that I rented out to a student. It seems like he kicked them out or offered paying for their new apartment. I hope it's the latter."

            Adrenaline pumped through her veins as she heard the new info. She was one step closer to finding him and bringing him home. 

            "Mrs. Lee, could I please get the address to the apartment. I need to find him. There are some...issues we need to clear that we can't avoid anymore," she hesitated, choosing her words carefully. 

            Had he told his grandmother about them, their relationship? Had he told her about how he broke her heart?

            Mrs. Lee knowingly smiled at her.

            'She knows,' Ella thought.

            "I know," she whispered, "I know you were his girlfriend." She used past tense. "He told me all about it. How when he had first met you, he knew you were the one. He also told me, and I quote, how freaking long it took for you to accept his confession. He told me he broke up with you just before he came home. After that, he left. I was the ears of his repentance, his confessional before he disappeared." Mrs. Lee wiped away a tear and Ella handed her a tissue. She took it with a smile and dabbed her eyes. 

            Ella gazed at the pictures on the mantle, questions racing through her thoughts as to why he chose to do what he had done. Why all of a sudden?

            "He loved you, you know? He truly loved you. The way he talked about you with that glint in his eye reminded me of when my father used to talk about my mother, always with a goofy smile on his face and that faraway look. I can't tell you what he was thinking when he broke up with you, but hopefully you can find out for yourself. When you do, give me a call."

*End flashback*

            The trees whipped by as the taxi sped back to the city. Sandeul was so close, yet she had to travel so far to figure that out. 

            "Miss, you should get home rest. I will call you when we get there," the taxi driver smiled at her in his rear view mirror. Consumed by fatigue, Ella closed her eyes and drifted off into a deep slumber. 

            A sudden jerk of the car woke her with a start, stealing her away from her dreamland. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she hastily wiped them away.

            "Are you okay, Miss?" the cab driver asked worriedly. Ella shook her head and smiled at him. "Well, we've arrived at the apartment." 

            "Thank you for helping me today, ahjusshi. I know it was a long drive out and back," she apologized and handed him the fare plus a large tip.

            "It's okay, all in a day's work." He jumped out and helped her into her wheelchair before heading back out onto the road. Ella waved one last time and turned to face the towering apartment building. It ominously loomed in the darkening sky and swallowed her into the shadows as she entered the front doors. 

            In extreme contrast to its exterior, the lobby was brightly lit with white furnishings and a glass check in desk. 

            "Hello, welcome to Busan Shore Apartments, how may I help you this evening?" the floor manager greeted her with a warm smile. Ella bowed her head and wheeled herself over.

            'Thank goodness they have glass counters,' she thought. 

            "Hi, I have a letter here from one of the tenants. She has asked for you to read it before I request anything else." She slipped the white, sealed envelope onto the desk. Immediately, the manager felt suspicious if Ella's actions.

            The manager took it and cautiously broke the seal, keeping an eye in Ella just in case it was a hoax or robbery of some sort. Slowly, she slipped the contents out and checked for any signs of threat before proceeding to pick up the harmless letter. Her eyes skimmed over as she read the letter over once and twice again. The lease and contract attached were legitimate enough to convince her that this girl in a wheelchair meant no harm or threat to the building.

            "If you would follow me, I'll take you up to the room." The letter was handed back to her and the duo headed for the elevators. 

--

            The apartment was on the 12th floor at the end of the hall. The hallway stretched out far, extending before them several yards. The manager led her to the very end, inserting her key card into the last door. 

            "I can only take you up to here. If anything happens, please call the front desk." 

            With that, the manager took her leave. Ella was left sitting in her wheelchair staring at the door handle. Waiting. What was going to happen when she opened it? What would she find? Who would she find? What if he wasn't even there? What if this trip turned out to be a complete waste? 

            Doubts put aside, Ella grasped the handle and turned it. She pushed open the door and wheeled into the apartment, anticipating for what she would find behind it.

            The room she entered was a world of its own. Cluttered and dank, a musty, moldy smell hung in the air, a polar opposite compared to the hallway outside. It became significantly harder to breath with the putrid smells of sweat and of decomposing things that she never wanted to discover. Bottles and trash littered the floor, disabling her from moving any further in her chair.

            'What do I do?' she panicked. There was no space left for her chair to move to, not unless she stood up. That was it. That was the only way. 

            Ignoring the doctor's orders, she wheeled herself back to the entrance and into the kitchen. Clutching onto the kitchen counter, she hauled herself up, hopping onto her good leg. 

            'I can't possibly get around on one leg...it's too dangerous.'

            Eyeing the minefield that was the apartment floor, she hobbled her way towards the light switch conveniently placed on the other side of the room. As carefully as she could, she nudged and prodded at the debris with her cast, greeting each movement with a sharp jolt of pain shooting up her leg. 

            'For Deul,' she told herself. With a couple more grueling steps, she made it to the other side and finally the light. 

            The room was in worse shape than she had imagined it to be. Unidentifiable liquid stained the walls while glass haphazardly lined the floor. Soiled clothing was strewn across the entire flat, draped across the chairs and couches, or dump in large piles that reeked of bodily fluids. 

             hung in horror as her nose flared up in disgust. The smell attacked her like the smog on a cold, wet morning out at sea. She swore she could see the stench unsettle on the floor, or what was seen of it, with each step she took.

            'Maybe I should've left the light off...it didn't smell this bad before.'

            Her eyes searched around, looking for some signs of life other than the flies that were flitting around the rotten foods. She looked into the bedroom, the washroom, and the surprisingly spotless laundry room, but found them all empty. Just when she was about to give up, she heard a faint sound from within the mess in the living room. 

            "Hello? Is anybody there?" 

            She didn't know why she had called out like that. What if it was a robber or some murderer? What if it was a bloodthirsty hobo? What if it was a zombie? The last thought sent a shiver down her spine and she instinctively pulled her hood up, a feeble attempt of protection if ever there was a zombie apocalypse. 

            With much difficulty, she maneuvered her way through the clutter, hobbling and limping her way towards what would have been the couch, if she had assumed correctly.

            The massive pile groaned again, startling her. It shifted ever so slightly and then settled back down again. Her heart began to race as she skillfully balanced over the mass on one leg and began peeling away the layers. One by one, she tossed items aside, clothes, wrappers, a lampshade. It felt like Christmas morning, minus the fact that she was in a dump of an apartment touching things, only god knows where they've been, and praying that whatever she finds under is her best friend, alive and breathing.

            Slowly, but surely, he began to emerge. Dirty and torn jeans, caked with mud, and what was supposed to be a blue shirt, now darkened to black with grime, came into view. Once the last item was removed, she felt be heart almost stop beating. Almost.

            The rush of finding him, alive and somewhat well, overwhelmed her and her heart began pumping. Unable to contain her excitement, she lunged forward, forgetting how filthy the place was, and latched herself onto Sandeul, holding on like her life depended on it.

            The sudden impact startled him and he woke up panicked, thrashing about in what he thought was the clutches of a serial killer. He hollered for help, but immediately went rigid the second her scent hit him. The familiar, alluring scent he had almost forgotten hit him like a ton of bricks, knocking the breath out of his lungs.

            His heart wrenched as the emotions he had locked away weeks ago came flooding back to him, drowning him in a sea of pain. His breath wouldn't come back to him and panic ensued. Love, sorrow, burden, guilt, everything was drowning him. 

            "Oppa! I've found you. I've finally found you," she cried.

            He fought to get out of her grasp, out of the clutches of his emotions that he wasn't supposed to feel. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to find him.

            His internal struggle to control his crumbling sanity came to a screeching halt when he felt her cast brush against his leg. Suddenly, he didn't find it hard to breathe. Suddenly, he found himself drowning in oxygen. 

            'What happened to her? Why is she in a cast? Why am I feeling light headed? What's going on?' he winced, clutching onto hair. He was breathing heavily, taking in large breaths of air, too much for his weak body to handle.

            Forcefully, he shoved her away, clawing at his hair, his chest, everywhere, trying to make the pain go away. For the first time in several weeks, he felt something other than nothing. He was no longer numb, the one thing that was keeping him alive. He screamed. 

            Ella panicked as she watched him scratch at his face, his hair, his arms. Blood began to bead and his skin peeled, building up underneath his already dirt crusted nails. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what she could do. There he was, her best friend, screaming at the top of his lungs, scratching away a pain she couldn't imagine. 

            'What do I do?!' 

            Moving with instinct, she leaned forward and hugged him tight, trapping him within her embrace, channeling as much of her positive energy to him as she could. 

            'I can't possibly feel what you're going through, but I hope this helps...'

            His spasms slowly subsided and all became still. His breathing slowed down and soon matched her even breaths. 

            "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here for you," she whispered. He felt her sincerity spread through her touch and tears sprung from his eyes.

--

            The silence was unbearable. There they were, just sitting in the apartment surrounded by piles of laundry and trash. What was there to say? What was there to do? Maybe they could start by cleaning the room first...just a suggestion.

            Before she could stop herself, one word escaped her lips.

            "Why?"

            He seemed unfazed, like he was expecting the question. Yet, he was hesitant to answer. What would she think of him after he told her the truth? Would she look at him differently? Would she still call him her friend?

            "Why?" she asked again.

            "Where should I start?" he asked with a surprisingly steady voice, compared to his crazed state just minutes ago.

            "Wherever you think is best."

            They sat in silence.

            "Remember the time we were at the coffee shop? I had to leave and help my mom with groceries and couldn't come back?" he paused and gave her a glance. 

            She nodded her head.

            "What if I told you I did come back..."

            Silence.

            "What if I told you I went back to the cafe and that I heard your story? What if I...what if I told you I know who it was?"

            She stopped breathing. Where was he going with this?

            "What if I told you...the man who hit your mother is behind bars? What if told you that...it was my father?"

            He squeezed his eyes shut, ready to take the verbal or physical beating she would give him for killing her mother. Yet, nothing happened. Not a sound, not a breath. Did she go into shock? His eyes snapped open and he looked at her. 

            She was zoned out, lost in thought, registering what he had told her. His father did it?

            "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for him to do anything that would hurt you and your family. I apologize on his behalf. I told him not to go out, but he wouldn't listen to me. It's my fault you're so afraid to say no," he croaked. Tears dripped and his voice got caught in his throat. "When I heard your story and realized that it was my father who hit you mother, I felt disgusted with myself. How could I live so happily with you when I was the cause of your family's loss? This is why I broke up with you...because I caused you so much pain already. I'm so sorry." He broke down and sobbed into his hands. His fragile frame shook with each cry. 

            Ella sat in silence. Soaking in his words as images of her mother's mangled body flashed through her thoughts. His father did it?

            He felt her take his hand, grasping it tight. She continued staring ahead, refusing to look him in the eye. Nobody spoke. All was quiet except for their soft breathing.

            "Ella?" he whispered.

            She didn't move, didn't blink. He couldn't read what was going on in her head. Her stone cold expression and dead eyes made him feel uneasy. Was she mad? Was she going to report him? Was she going to forgive him for killing her mom?

            After some time, her eyes came back to life and she turned to face him. 

            "What if I told you," she paused, "what if I told you I forgive you, for everything?" 

            He held back a sob of relief.

            "What if I told you that you're not at blame for my mother's death? What if I told you I forgive you for running away?" Her words started coming out faster. "What if I told you I forgive you for being human? What if I told you that it's okay to feel guilt and do irrational things?"

            His tears flowed freely. 

            "What if I told you I would forgive you for everything that has happened until now, if you stop blaming yourself for your father's mistake?"

            He choked on his words. She forgave him. She forgave him for everything. Can he forgive himself?

            "Don't blame yourself. Stop blaming yourself. He was the one that chose to drive. He was the one that hit her. He was the one that fled. It was his mistake, and now he's serving time. He got what he deserved. You shouldn't have to suffer because of him. It wasn't your mistake," she whispered into his ear as he leaned onto her. 

            Her words calmed him down. His heart, his mind, his conscience. The nagging voice he heard that blamed him for everything was silent. Gone. Forever. 

            "Let’s go home, Deul oppa."

Extra long chapter because I felt guilty for updating so infrequently. I'll post the next chapter sometime tomorrow! I think I'm going to do comment replies in these blurbs again...I feel it's more personal than just commenting in the comment section...if that makes sense....>_< anywhoo...

COMMENT REPLIES

@ hai_young: kekeke, glad the chapter had the desired effect. I'll try to get the next chapter up tomorrow! And...ICWUDT....hahaha 
@ kmn007: duck boy is back! but....not what you expected, huh? CLIFF HANGERS ARE FUN kekeke *trolltrolltroll*
@ 17KpopLover: thanks for reading~~ I tried to make it worse than expected kekeke you like?
@ diannadidi:  oh! you're in luck! haha my gift to you, a new chapter! Thank you for subscribing!

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See you in the next Chapter!

-greenninjapanda GNP-