Parties were useless for her.

More often than not, the host was prouder than usual. Guests similarly acted more independent and free once they started interacting with each other. The overall atmosphere made her want to cringe.

However, because it was her friend’s birthday, Xiu gathered all her willpower and strength to step into the party’s venue while still looking indifferent, if not happy.

As she sat alone in the corner of the wild room, only negligible thoughts entered her mind.

When can I leave? What am I supposed to do now? Who is the man looking my way?

She turned her head to look at his direction. The certain man's eyes were considerably small, his teeth were purely white, and his hair was in the attractable shade of bistre. As they made eye contact for a split second, Xiu’s full attention now lay on him. She carefully watched the man as he got up from his seat, left his distracted friends, and gradually made his way towards her.

Their eye contact never dropped; her attention never wavered from that one person who held the ability to grasp her thoughts fully.

The next scene her mind registered was the fact that he took the seat next to her, and she chose not to not move away. Xiu knew that it was basically wrong for her to be around strangers, but something about the man’s smile told her that he held only safe intentions.

“My name is Jonghyun, and I’m 19 years old today.” His smile widened to a grin.

That was the start of Xiu and Jongyun’s relationship.

One Year Later

“Jonghyun, come back!” Xiu shouted at the retreating figure. “That’s my teddy bear, don’t steal it!”

The two ran around the empty halls of their college. In reply to shout, the said boy only laughed, and he increased his speed. His eyes shone brighter than usual, and his voice became a pitch higher. From Xiu’s full knowledge about Jonghyun, that only happened when he was exceedingly happy.

As she was about to give up the chase due to fatigue, Xiu realized that he was heading towards a dead end in the school’s building, the place where they somehow found themselves today. She smirked to herself and whispered, “I got you now, Dinosaur.”

And true enough, the said boy did find himself facing an impossible barrier. As he turned back, he surprised Xiu when he did not look frightened or apologetic at all. Instead, he laughed at her overly serious expression.

“Why are you so mad? Lighten up!” He grinned.

“Alright Jonghyun,” she stated in a slightly bitter voice. Xiu crossed her arms and forcefully stated, “We both know you lost, now give the bear back to me!” 

Jonghyun failed as he tried to suppress his smile. He pointed at the teddy bear and readily replied, “I’ll only give it back to you if you answer this guy’s question.” 

What? Xiu raised her eyebrow in confusion. Why Jonghyun was acting oddly and what were the motives behind his request clouded her mind.

However, as he threw the bear at her and as she looked down at what it held, Xiu’s breathing slowed; her eyes grew twice its usual size, and the pounding in her chest would not stop its chase.

“Be mine?” it simply read.

Xiu’s world paused. The question which she has been waiting impossibly long months to hear was finally asked.

Without thinking twice, her feet automatically started running towards Jonghyun, and she flung her arms around him after once only a few feet separated them.

“Of course,” she whispered softly. "Definitely." Xiu could almost see his content, if not overjoyed, expression.

After several seconds of comfortable silence, Jonghyun gleefully added, “Today also marks our first birthday together as a couple.”

One year later

“We’re twenty one today!” Jonghyun shouted as he grabbed a slice of cheese pizza and put it on her plate. “So don’t care about your image because it’s the day you should not care about anything problematic. Okay?”

It was lunch time on their first anniversary, and they chose to spend it in Jonghyun’s house. His parents were kind enough to order the pizza for them since they enjoyed Xiu’s company just as much as their son did, and they did so also because they wanted to congratulate the two on their increasingly special day.

“Hurry up in eating!” Jonghyun suddenly urged her. “I want to play my board games soon!”

The two have known each other for exactly two years. Undeniably, mild fights would erupt, and it is usually a long process until a compromise is made, but the two knew and understood each other’s strengths and weaknesses well enough to work out any problem perfectly.

As dawn approached, Jonghyun excused himself for a few minutes. Xiu grasped the alone time to scan his room. Unlike many guys, Jonghyun was incredibly neat and orderly. His bed was made, the books on his desk were arranged by size, and not a speck of dust was seen when she slid her hand over a chair. What was the most pleasing to her, though, was the fact that he exhibited all of their photos taken together on a special, separated shelf.

"Jonghyun can be so cute sometimes." Xiu let out a tiny smile. 

As she reached for one certain picture, however, a thick envelope fell down. She did not grab it for closer inspection, but it was inevitable to stare at the outer words displayed:

“Acceptance Letter from Pohang University”

Those simple words were all it took for her to realize what was going to happen in the future.

Jonghyun was going to leave her.

Xiu’s legs would not support her, her breaths suddenly shortened, and her eyes began to fill itself with water.

No, she did not want to believe it. No.

At that moment, the door to the room creaked open, revealing Jonghyun holding a decorated cake completed with a lighted candle.

He was supposed to surprise her with the cake he made himself. She was supposed to shout out in delight. They were supposed to spend even more quality time with each other for as long as possible.

But the events did not unfold as planned.

The second Jonghyun saw her tear stained face, he carelessly put down the cake on his table, and he ran to her as fast as he could. He did not need spoken words to understand the reason behind her tears. A second later, Jonghyun reached her side. 

“Don’t cry.” He embraced her comfortingly and honestly revealed, “Everything is going to be alright. I won’t be gone for long.”

Despite his sincere words, Xiu’s tears would not stop flowing. It was impossible to will them to stop.

“I promise to come back to you, alright? I will never leave you. As long as I am living, I won’t,” he whispered seriously. “I promise.” 

She chose to believe him.

An Unknown Amount of Time Passed 

“Jonghyun, don’t lose consciousness!” Xiu shouted in panic as she grabbed the hand of the limp person on the hospital bed who was starting to slip away from reality. “I’ll call the doctor. Or better yet, I’ll get the painkillers in my bag. Just stay awake, alright? That wound will heal. Don’t leave just yet!”

It was the eight of April, their birthday. Today was supposed to be a joyful day. It was supposed to be a day of reunification. It was supposed to be a day full of playfulness and hope.

But instead, Jonghyun was stuck in the hospital, and he was slipping away from her. He was slipping away from everything. 

“Don’t, Jonghyun! Stay awake!” she shouted with all her energy. "STAY AWAKE!"

Tears started to fall all at once. The situation was unlike any other that she had been through in the past and will ever go through in the future. It was much more painful. It was impossible to get through. 

“Don’t go!” In desperation, she flung her arms around Jonghyun as if that certain act would save him. She would do anything for him. Anything. 

At that moment, impossibly loud and cheerful singing was heard from the neighboring room.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! . 

Jonghyun's breath started slowing down. 

Happy birthday, happy birthday!

His hand started to slip from hers. 

Happy birthday to you!

Jonghyun’s eyes closed by the end of the last note sung. 

“Happy Birthday” used to be the song which Xiu favored most. It used to hold joyful, memory-filled days with the one person whom she cherished above all.

But now, it is merely an initiator for a memory which will forever torment her. 

Thank you so much for reading this!