Ok, just to let you all know, I wrote this to help get me out of my writing slump. It's not great but it's written all the same, which means that I have been writing again, which is good, I think. Anyhoo, for my full reasons on where I have been, check my blog, otherwise, enjoy~

Sitting in the brightly lit room, on the comfortable black leather sofa, soda on the small glass table in front of him and fan spinning on the ceiling in an effort to cool the stuffy, hot with summer air room; Yunho felt anything but comfortable.

He felt as though he was about to erupt in a fountain of tears at any second, his whole body was tired; not physically but mentally, spiritually, he was drained.

Changmin sensed the older man’s pain as he reached across to take hold of his hyungs hand in an attempt to make him aware that the maknae was there for him.

Yunho smiled at the younger man and mouthed a silent thankyou as he gently squeezed his brothers offered hand before releasing it at the sound of someone entering the room.

Both young men’s eyes fell on the newcomer. Just another reporter, another interviewer after the latest scoop from them, the latest story to share with the world so they could once again be judged, deemed to be one way or another and then chewed up and spit out; either that, or placed on a pedestal that they surely had no right being on. They were after all, only human, they made mistakes too.

“Hi, my name is Sooyoung, I’ll be interviewing you both today” the woman bowed respectfully at the young men. Yunho and Max returned the greeting, introducing themselves as they always did, as U-know Yunho and Choikang Changmin from DBSK.

Only this time, Yunho felt a sharp stab in his chest once the greeting was over. Smiling brightly to cover his discomfort at saying their band name, he glanced at his dongsaeng, who had seen the look pass his hyungs features, before he plastered on his ‘so fake it was unbelievable’ smile to hide his pain; his own heart ached.

“So, let’s get right to it then huh?” the woman smiled as she set her tape recorder on the table and shuffled with her paper; no doubt full of many questions, welcome and otherwise.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Joongie, Joongie”

Micky burst into the bathroom, causing water to overflow the sides of the tub as Jaejoong sat bolt upright, shock clearly evident on his pretty but getting painfully thinner as the days went by, face.

“Yoochun, what the…..”

“THIS” his dongsaeng screeched as he a magazine into his face, open on an interview of some sort.

Straining his eyes to see the two figures posing on one half of the page, his heart skipped a beat as they roamed the extremely familiar body of one of the men.

Yunho.

Changmin was there too, looking as handsome as ever, grown-up looking now. Jaejoong was missing it all; his heart sank as a frown settled on his lips.

Raising his eyes to his band mates face, Jaejoong sighed

“What of it dude, they have interviews all the time. Magazine, TV, radio, music shows, press conferences, concerts and the like. I’ll get round to reading it when I have time”

“JJ, serious you need….”

“At least let me finish my bath first Chunnie” Jaejoong ended with a small laugh that no longer reached his eyes.

Tired of being interrupted and having his words pushed aside, Micky took hold of his hyungs shoulder’s and shook him; hard.

“Quit being so ing stubborn and listen to me” he almost yelled

The shock that crossed Jaejoong’s face was almost funny; Yoochun would have laughed had he not at that moment been trying to get the stupid fool to look at the damn article in the damn magazine.

“You NEED to read this NOW. Not later, not when you come out of the tub but NOW N.O.W. NOW!”

Mouth agape, Jaejoong stared at his dongsaeng as if he had lost his mind.

“You get me?”

The eldest member of JYJ found himself nodding. He wasn’t sure if it was just to appease his friend in fear of him attacking him and forcing him to read the interview anyway, or if it was because his interest had now been piqued what with all of Micky’s urging; either way, he HAD to see the thing now.

“Ok, I get you. Gimme it”

“Here” Yoochun handed the paper over to his hyung, his eyes looked as if they were dancing and his smile was wider than Jaejoong had ever seen it before.

Taking the magazine from his band mate, the older man shooed Micky from the bathroom with a flick of his wrist before lying back down against the slant in the ceramic bath tub, listening as his friend scuffled from the room.

Once he was alone again, Jaejoong brought the paper to his face and began reading; in no way shape or form, ready for what he was about to read.

I: We thought we would just skip the formalities and dive right into the interesting questions that your fans will no doubt be desperate to know the answers to, is that ok?

C: Of course

I: Excellent. So we hear that SM Town Live will be held in France this coming June, are you looking forward to going to Europe and have you ever been there before?

C: Yeah, we have been to Europe a few times. We have been to France too actually, Paris. It was a lot of fun and such a beautiful country.

I: Oh you have? When did you go there?

Y: A few years back.

I: What was the purpose of your visit then?

C: We were filming for a DVD. It was our first time there.

I: Nice. Is there anything in specific that you liked about Paris?

C: The food

Max’s comment causes much laughter in the room. Yunho however look’s to have been deep in thought since we first sat down together. Thinking maybe it is my questioning I decide to switch topics.

I: You are a real foodie huh?

C: Not all food, but most food goes down without any real issues.

After more laughing from the staff, myself and Changmin, I can’t help but notice that DBSK’s leader isn’t paying anyone in the room the slightest bit of attention.

“Oh Yunnie baby, you have to pretend you are ok. I wish you didn’t have to fake it, I wish you were happy”

Jaejoong felt a single tear roll down the side of his face as he slid his body higher in the tub, to get more comfortable to continue reading

I: I suppose going to such a romantic place is hard when you don’t have anyone that you are involved with in that way at your side. To tour the city with, go up the Eiffel tower with and fall even more in love with in such a beautiful setting. You don’t, do you? You are both single, right?

C: Yeah. It’s ok though, we will be there with friends. Besides that, I don’t think we will be there long enough for us to see very much other than the venue and our hotel room.

I: I see. It would be a nice place to go with a loved one though, don’t you think?

C: It would.

Y: Maybe

I: What do you mean by that Yunho?

Y: I mean it would be ok if you like that sort of thing.

I: That sort of thing?

Y: It will be quite warm when we get there right? So the city will only steal your heart if the weather suits.

After saying this, Yunho leaned back against the backrest of the sofa. Eyes glued to the floor, staring into space.

I: Don’t you like the summer heat?

Y: Not me. I do like it, but what if your lover doesn’t, what if he or she prefers the cold nip of winter?

I: Then I guess France in June isn’t for them

More laughter, a nod from Yunho and a worried glance at his hyung from Changmin and I was now 100% confused by the normally bubbly, upbeat leader; who until right now had always seemed the most stable of the five.

Jaejoong felt his heart tighten within his chest. He ached to hold his lover right at that moment, to tell him it would all be alright and that they would be together again soon. Problem is, it was a promise he knew he couldn’t give him, not right now when they weren’t sure if they could keep it; weren’t even sure if it was feasible.

I: Unusual though, someone preferring winter to summer. I am guessing that you have had a girlfriend who liked colder climates?

Y: Not liked, likes.

I: So you two are still together now then?

Y: You just made it sound like they are dead using past tense and they’re not, they are very much alive. Living their life, doing what they do and stuff.

My confusion furthered. I had to get to the bottom of why Yunho was behaving this way. Is it possible that he is dating someone and that he just doesn’t want to say out loud but is quite happy to drop hints at? Judging by his behaviour during the short time I have been interviewing the pair, I’d say anything is possible.

Yunho shifts in his chair as Max leans across the small gap in between them and whispers something in his hyungs ear, to which Yunho responds with a sharp, short “I don’t care”.

I: So do you still see your ex-lover?

Y: Not much chance to see each other lately. It has been too long since we last got the chance to meet up. Not just the time apart but the distance too makes it nigh on impossible to be together. I wish things were different.

I: You wish you were still together?

Y: We are, we will never really be apart. No matter the water or land between us, our hearts are connected forever. We are soul mates.

C: Hyung?

Changmin is looking increasingly uncomfortable with Yunho’s admission. Yunho however, looks ever lighter with every word he speaks.

I: So you are in love with this person?

Y: Yes, very much so. Always have been, always will be.

I: Who is she?

Y: You already know.

C: Hyung stop it. Can we move onto another question please?

This is the very first interview I have done where the Interviewee asks me to move onto another question because the ones I’m asking are causing such a stir with one of the members; especially with the worried, manager like one, being none other than the maknae himself.

“Oh god Yunho what are you doing baby?” Jaejoong breathed as his grip on the magazine became steadily tighter and his breathing increased. He felt his body heat up in spite of the cooling water surrounding his body. He was excited for Yunho to be being so bold and so honest about his feelings; it felt like he had been doing anything he could lately to deny them, to hide their love, even going as far as to say they have had no contact lately, which everyone knew was a blatant lie. This though, this felt good, to have his Yunho back; admitting his feelings once again.

It was scary at the same time, Jaejoong didn’t want his lover to give too much away and be too obvious for fear of the backlash that would no doubt follow the confession; not just from SM but from the world. The ignorant, homophobic hate filled part of the world that Jaejoong knew existed. Sad but true fact; where there was love, there was unfortunately hate.

Not that Yunho was gay, but everyone would see him as that; what with him being in love with another man an all, that was all anyone needed to judge him. He couldn’t help who he fell for, same way Jaejoong couldn’t help being gay and in love with Yunho.

Panic beginning to overtake his happiness at his lover being so open, the eldest member of JYJ and DBSK brought his eyes back to the pages before him

I: Um, sure Changmin. Hold on a second.

After searching my notes, I realized that I owe it to you, the readers to at least ask the next question

I: Is it Go Ara?

C: That’s enough. Next question I said

Seeing the maknae so charged with anger is kind of scary, let me tell you, but not scary enough yet to quit this line of questioning.

Y: (Grinning) It’s definitely not her, no

I: Then who?

C: Right, that’s it…..

At this point Changmin gets up from his seat and leaves the room in search of their manager. I only have a small window of time to ask what I want to and hopefully get a full and frank reply from Yunho

I: Who is she?

Y: What makes you think it’s a she?

Gobsmacked

I: It’s a male?

Y: (Nodding) I told you that you know who it is. Surely after all these years you have some sort of idea who he is….

I: Yunjae (First thing that popped into my mind and slipped from my mouth)

At this Yunho laughs. As though I have fit the last puzzle piece into place and he is praising me; like I’m a small child.

My jaw hits the floor

Y: You can’t be shocked. You all knew, right?

I: (I nod, too numb to speak)

Y: Yeah well, I just want you all to know that he exists, that I am in love with him, have been since the day I met him and that we are soulmates; destined.

A thought clicks and before I have time to think it through, my brain engages my mouth

I: Ah, this is an April Fools, right?

The confusion and disgust that crosses Yunho’s face, tell me I should really have put more effort into my chain of thoughts before I spoke

Y: Of course it’s not. It’s April 27^th for one thing, for another, being in love with Jaejoong is not something I would ever joke around about. Not even for a second. All those times when we flirted back and forth and had you all wondering whether we were an item or not, was for fun because we were together and happy and settled then, we could afford the luxury of playing with the fans; especially when SM got on our case warning us to stop it and to act like two straight, very available men. Which is not easy, let me tell you, not when you have Jaejoong by your side, giving you those looks, with those beautiful, big eyes of his. Nope, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do; that and admitting to myself that I am in love with another man. I’m at peace with it now though, 100% glad that I went through with it, he is the best thing that’s ever happened to me; seriously, I can’t be without him and I know he feels the same. When he gets down about our separation, I get worried for his health, you know?

I: (I nod) Why do you worry so much for him?

Y: I know something about his birthday that upsets me more than anything

At this point, Yunho breaks down crying

Tears spilling down his cheeks, Jaejoong gasped out loud

“How do you know about that?” He asked into the empty, bar himself bathroom.

Y: I know what you did Joongie. I want you to know that I never, ever want you to think like that ever again, if anything ever happened to you, it would be the end of me, you know that right? I know you are reading this Boojae, I know you read, watch and listen to everything we do, and I do the same with you guys. Because you are always on my mind, in my heart and I miss you every second of every single day that passes without you. So, how do you think I would cope if you had have been alone on your birthday and had the opportunity? It would kill me Jiji, you know it would. Don’t do that to me ever; moreover, don’t do it to you. If you hurt you, you hurt me, remember that. I love you Boo, always.

I: How did you find out about this incident?

Y: A friend (continues crying)

I: Did you ever think he would do such a thing?

Y: Never. Not in a million years, but I know why he did it and I feel such a sense of shame and guilt because of it. I really hate myself for it

I: What did you do wrong?

Y: It’s not what I did, more like what I said

I: What did you say?

Y: I told the entire world that we no longer have any contact when he said that he had been trying to contact me. It was his way of getting me to say that we still talk, that’s all he wanted and I couldn’t even grant him that, I wanted to but SM kept telling me that if I even acknowledged his existence then he would suffer greatly. If they had have said that I would suffer, I wouldn’t have cared, but they threatened me by using Joongie and they knew that any threat on him, would keep me in line.

I: So why are you saying all this now?

Y: Because I never dreamed Jaejoong would go as far as he did and it has scared the living out of me, enough so to make me no longer care what the rest of the world thinks about us. I just want to be with him. He is all I want, all I see for the rest of my life.

I: Did you talk to him after his birthday?

Y: Yeah but, neither he nor anyone else let on that anything was unusual. They all acted as if it was just another day, I had no idea that he had threatened that whilst he was drunk and depressed.

I: He certainly has lost a lot of weight recently

Y: Yeah, I know, it upsets me. I think that’s another reason why he bought Yoyo; to help make himself feel better by adding to his growing family, but also to let me know that he is thinking of me and us.

I: Doesn’t he have a cat called Jiji too?

Y: (nods) Jiji stands for one of my pet names for him, Yoyo represents my name; So Yoyo and Jiji, YJ, Yunjae. You get it?

I: I do, thankyou for clearing that up. It’s a bit obvious now that I think about it

We both laugh

Y: Yeah it’s supposed to be. Jaejoong has never been one to hide the fact that we are together, quite the opposite in fact. He is constantly highlighting our relationship. It’s so cute.

I: It is. How long have you both been together?

Y: How long is a piece of string?

I: That long?

Y: Yeah, like I said, once I got over myself and gave into the inevitable, we got together pretty quickly, like almost from the start.

At this very moment the door bursts open and DBSK’s manager enters looking red in the face and as angry as I have ever seen another human being look, Changmin trailing behind him, worried eyes falling on Yunho. The manager yanks Yunho from the chair and tells us that he is not in his right mind at this moment, he is tired and upset over family matters, to which Yunho replies that he is perfectly sound in mind, body and soul. Just before the trio slam the door behind them as they leave, the manager turns to warn us not to print a single word of this, for if we do, they will deny it all and sue us for slander.

We look forward to the court date seen as we cannot be called liars as we have the whole confession on tape. Above all, I feel happy for Yunho, for as tortured as his soul may be at this present time, I feel that him getting all of those words off of his chest has had a profound effect on his current mental state. He looks lighter, happier than when he first entered the building and for that I feel glad for him.

I don’t care if he is dating Jaejoong, don’t care if they are in a gay relationship; the love that he clearly feels for his ex-band member is beyond explanation, his devotion is obvious, the truth in his face as he spoke, the light that hit his eyes, bringing life into them once again was blatant with every time he spoke Jaejoong’s name. It was, for lack of a better word; beautiful.

We can’t help who we fall in love with, it’s beyond our control. All we can do is try to educate others and hope that one day the ignorant people of this world can at least have the decency to keep their horrible words, thoughts and actions to themselves; for what comes around, goes around people.

Karma.

Staring open mouthed at the place where the magazine had once been clasped tightly within his grasp, but was now laying strewn across the wet tiled floor, Jaejoong couldn‘t control the torrent of tears that raced down from eyes, only to land silently on the paper below him.

He needed Yunho.

Now.

“Yunho” he cried as he tried to control his breathing, which had steadily become more erratic with every word he read of the article.

“I’m here Boojae, I’m always here”

Jaejoongs whipped his head around and to the doorway to see the man of his heart standing there, tears staining his own cheeks.

“Baby” Yunho whispered as he hurried over to the side of the tub and pulled Jaejoong with one hard tug, right out of the bath and into his arms.

They both sat, kneeling on the floor; Jaejoong huddled in his lover’s lap, face buried in his neck as he wept, his and wet skin not even feeling the light breeze that blew in from the wide open door, not when Yunho held him; all he felt was warmth, he felt safe.

Yunho had his arms clutching tightly to Jaejoong’s , placing kisses all over every available inch of scalp as he wept.

“What’s up with Jae…………..waaa……..is that Yunho, what is he doing here?” Junsu’s little dolphin like voice rose throughout the apartment, catching Micky off guard as he sat on the sofa watching some dumb cartoon; well his eyes were on the TV, but he wasn’t nowhere near taking in any of the programme, for his mind was too busy racing with thoughts of ‘What now?’ and ‘Please let everything be ok’, ever since he had called Yunho to tell him that he had seen the article and given it to Jaejoong; his heart was in his throat, had been for the past half hour.

“Su, come here” Yoochun raised his arm and made a come hither gesture with his left hand

“But……..”

‘Is it just me or did Junsu’s tone just go up by at least another octave?’

“Baby, come here, I’ll explain it all just leave them alone for the time being, ok?”

Nodding his head as he dragged his feet and shuffled over to his hyung and lover, Junsu frowned

“Promise to tell me the whole story and TRUTH?”

Yoochun wasn’t entirely sure he liked the way in which his Su had enunciated the word truth like that, he hadn’t lied to him before; well ok, but white ones to protect him didn’t count. Yeah, maybe to Junsu they did.

“I promise honey, now sit down and let me tell you whole thing from beginning to end”

He patted the seat next to him and waited for his duck butted dolphin’s curiosity to pique to such an extent that he cannot wait another second to know why Yunho was crouched in their bathroom, a and wet Jaejoong in his arms, both of them weeping like their mothers had died; Yoochun didn’t have to wait long as Junsu practically threw himself on the sofa, wide, wondering eyes falling right onto Micky’s as his lover threw his arm across his shoulder and snuggled in, pulling him closer as he began.

“Ok, well it all started with Yunho and Max’s latest interview………”