Now I am sitting in our apartment that we bought under both of us names, thinking about all the things about us. How we falled in love and how we love each other. From strangers to friends, then to lovers and now I can tell to somebody that we used to know for each other. To think of it again, we loved each other so much and I can tell that this love is so real and sincere unlike those ideal, romantic and lustful love. We have quite a concret plan for our future. We saved money and even bought an apartment together, although the majority of the money is from him. We planned when we will get married. What would we do after we graduated. We planned on where and what to continue our study and even on how many male and female children we gonna have. But look at it now, why did we turn out like? How can all the things we built together for years broke down that easily?

I have been sitting and tried to find out the answer for hours already, but I still can't find the answer. It's not that I didn't try to find out and make things right before, but no matter how hard or how long I tried, it's just cant be solved. Sometimes we have to accept that not all the questions will have an answer. Once things go wrong, they have to go that way. It bound to be happened like that. We have no choice but to follow.

I decide to write him a letter before leaving. At least let him know what's happened. I don't like to do things secretly behind people back and left them hanging and doubtful. I know how it feels.

After finished that hurtful letter, I put it in a nice envelop and place it along with my apartment keys on my bed. The bed that he bought for me as a homecoming gift. I take one last tour around the apartment that I have moved in for 3 years, remenise all the memories that we have together here and throw them all away. I don't want to left them here and let them haunting us both. We need to start over seperately happily without regret.

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Jong In's POV

I'm waiting for two hours already, but she still doesn't show up. I tried to call her thousands times already, but it always diverts to voicemail. As each second passes, I become more and more anxious. At first I start to feel nervous, but by now I become so scared. I don't know why, but I'm scared that today plan will be ruined, not by Soojung, but by her. I'm scared that now it will be my turned to be ditched. I feel unwanted and unimportant. Is that how it feels while you are waiting for someone?

The manager of the restaurant keeps asking me when can they start the plan. My friends that I asked to be our witness, keeps calling when can they come to the restaurant. They make me even more anxious.

Another hour passed and there is still no sign that she will come soon. By now, I realize that I was ditched by her. During all these times, how can she keeps waiting for me 4 to 5 hours each time without complaining or getting angry even once? Even she knows I ditched her, how could she is still with it? In my case now, I'm at the top level of my anger and scaring already. Angry because how can she makes the one she loves waits that long? Why doesn't she call if she has something important comes up? And what is more important than our fourth anniversary celebration? Or is she cheating on me? Is she getting tired of waiting for me? Is she getting suspicious of me and Soojung? To think about it more and more, I'm starting to feel even more scared. What if she found out about me and Soojung? What if she leaves me? Without second thought, I ran out of the restaurant and head to her apartment.

The nearer to her apartment, the more nervous I feel. By the time I reach her apartment front door, my palms are all sweaty. I rang the bell several times, but still no answer. I keep ringing and knocking her door like a mad man. I scream, call out for her and even beg her to open the door, but there is still no sign of anyone inside. I start to feel so scared until the point that my hand are shaking and my heart is bumping like crazily. I take several minutes to calm down before I reach into my pocket for the key to her apartment. I choose not to open the door myself since the start because I don't want to accept the fact that she might not be here anymore or see her cheating with someone inside. I know I should not suspect her like that but my logic doesn't work anymore.

I open door and go in slowly. I see nothing change inside since the last time I was here. The painting that is hanging on the wall, the small plants by the window, the pictures on the sides of TV, the cups on dining table in the kitchen, even eveything in her bedroom are same. Same decoration and same smell. They stay exactly the same that it scares me because I can't feel the same. The warm and loving feeling I get whenever I come here is gone. Then my heart drops and it begins to ache like hell once I open the closet. All her clothes are gone along with her suitcase. This can't be true. How can it turn out to be like that? I am about to go out and look for her, but something on the bed caught my eyes. They are her apartment keys and a letter in a white envelop with her hand writing on the back that say: To Jong In. I open the envelop with shaky hands and read it silently.

Dear My Lovely Boyfriend Kim Jong In,

It's been four years that we've been together, right? So first of all, Happy Four-Year Anniversary!!! I love you so much and thanks for always being by my side. If I use this letter to thank for all the good thing you've done and brought to me, I don't think this letter would be enough. You've done too much for me, Jong In and by being too much mean I can't pay to you. I've never imagine that I could be with someone so perfect like you. An imperfect girl like me doesn't deserve a perfect guy like you, yet you loved me with all your heart, unconditionally. Spending these four years with you is heaven for me. I appriciate it and I never regret even one bit. No matter what you did to me behind my back or in the future, I never regret being with you. You teach me how to love truely even later on you change it. You teach how to feel being love even later on you take it away. You teach me how to smile sincerely just about the small simple things that happened around me even later on you also teach me how to cry. Thanks for all the valuable memories even some of them are my worst nightmares. Thank you, but also sorry that I can't be with you anymore. I'm sorry that because of my selfishness, I can't hang on and be with you anymore. I'm sorry that because of my own happiness, I have to make our fourth-year anniversary becomes the day of our break up. I'm so sorry, but I can't hang on anymore. I really can't. I've tried, Jong In, I've tried. You might have no idea how many times that I wanted to give up in the past and how hurt I am just trying to continue. But I've reach my breaking point already. I'm sorry that I'm so weak that I can't continue.

I know that you plan to propose to me tonight. I know that if I keep hold on for another day, all the pains that I have endured will be paid off. If I still stay and I agree to your proposal, you will be mine forever and no one gonna take you away, even your family and I don't have to feel scared that the longer you are with her, she would snatch you away from me. I know that If I accept that ring tonight, I get the assurance from you that no matter how often and for how long you be with her, you are still mine in the end and that she has no chance at all to take you away from me completely even your heart is with her. I know everything, Jong In. I know about you and her for a long time. I know your feelings for me and her right now. I know you plan. I know your solution for this problem. And I also know your actions after propose to me tonight. I know you too well and that scared me. It's sacred me that my prediction will be right and I will hurt even more. That's why I decide to give eveything up and left. Because I know your heart and I don't want you to regret and hurt later, that's why I left. Marrying me would only hurt us three. What's the point of having the title on you when your heart is not with me? What's the point of being your fiancé when you would always run to her whenever you have the chance? What's the point of wearing that ring when I would cry myself to sleep everynight, alone? It just makes no sense to me at all, Jong In. You might think this decision of yours is a good compromise, but to me it makes no change at all. So what's the point of staying? I'm tired of waiting for you to meet me even for a short a period of time. I'm sick of you constant lame lies. I'm done with feeling hurt and crying over you. To be honest, I feel nothing at all now. I've been hurt for so long that my heart dies and I can't feel anything anymore. I can't even cry now, Jong In. I have no tear left. So just go back to her. You don't have to choose. I don't like being a choice, so I won't make anyone choose or become a choice. I know you won't give up on us and I know you won't left me alone. I know, so I decide to left by myself because to you I'm just a house, while she is your real home.

So go home and don't turn back. Don't look for me. You won't be able to find. Don't blame yourself for this because I have never blame you for even one second. Don't feel sad. People come and go in our life and I just happen to be one of those people, but people who will stay in end, will come back no matter what; just like her. Let go seperate ways and start a new. I won't ask you to forget me because I won't forget you as well. How can I forget su ch a beautiful memory? However, just think of me as a lesson for your life or phase that you have to go through before you mature, or even worse just a dream that you have but vividly remember.

I have one last thing to say to you, Jong In... I love you...so much that I never imagine that I can love someone like that and I think I won't be able to love anyone that much anymore in the future because I love you so much that it hurts. I never regret meeting you; especially, end up loving you. I am so thankful that I am able to love you...even until now. I will always love you and I don't regret leaving you as well. Please remember one thing, Jong In. Rmemeber that because I love you...that's why I let you go.

From someone who happened to pass by you lfe,

After reading her letter, I notice that I won't be able to speak and it's hard to breathe because I am crying too much and I can't stop. It's like I cry for both me and her. Like I cry for all the pain that she had during writing this letter but has no tear to cry. So is this the feeling of knowing that you will lose something very important forver. I start to understand how she feels litle by little now.

I really want to run out and look for her, but I don't know why my feet can't move at all. I feel numb all over my body and I end up breaking down on the floor crying non stop. How can she just left like that? I know it hurts because now I feel the same but doesn't she wish that I will be back to her like I wish for her to be back right now? I know it hurts like hell, yet I still have no heart to give up but how could she? I keep crying and babbling her name and asking her to come back, but why doesn't she come back?

I have been crying and staying at the same place for hours already, but there is no sign that she will turn back. The fact that she will left forever hit me straight in the face. I start to question myself that from this minute on how am I supposed to live...without her?

"Baby, I'm sorry. Please come back." I wishper to myself.

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So this story has come to an end. I know some of you may not want it end this way, but looking from the start of the story, it makes no sense and unfair to make her forgive Jong In. He deserves to learn a lesson, right. So maybe a sequel if you guy feel like to? I will make a poll in the next chapter.

Anyways, thanks for all the supports and patience to keep up with me. I write base on my feeling that's why it takes that long. This story is inspired by my real expereince but just the overview. Some parts are also my imagination. Like the ending that the guy regrets and wants the girl back while the reality is he is now very happy with the second girl and they are getting married soon, while I'm here make up my desire ending. It doesn't mean that I want him back, I just want him to at least taste the pain that I used to feel. How can they end up being happy like that? I'm such a devil, right? Unlike the lead woman in my story. Therefore, because she is a far better girl than me, I give her a chance to find her true happiness in my sequel story that I have the draft ideas already. It depends on your vote. :)

I see you all, later. Love ya all...