" You should know that the moment you cheat, either mentally or physically, intentionally or unintentionally, it's still consider cheating. And that kills me inside little by little because I love you so much."

----------------------------------------------

I've been in a relationship with him for nearly 4 years. We are the admired couple of the campus. Well, I should say I am the most admired or envious girl of the campus. Why? Because I'm in a relationship with Kim Jong In, aka Kai, the hottest guys of the campus and everyone sees that he loves me to death, while I'm just a nobody. I might be smart and an outstanding students, but compare to him, I'm nothing.

Him, the most handsome guy I have ever laid my eyes on. He is tall, good at sport, good at dancing, smart, talented, fashionable, famous, rich, sweet, caring, such a gentleman, nice, understanding, patience, lovely, cute, fun to be with, interesting, attractive, charming, and not to mention he is a good kisser. There is nothing he doesn't have and could not do. I can spend the whole day just to describe him without fading my smile. He is a perfect boyfriend materials. No, not boyfriend materials but husband materials. I loves him so much for dear life and only him. In my eyes, he is perfect. While...

Me, too simple to be call a lady. I'm not even pretty or have a nice body, plus I'm even one year older than him. I'm unfashionable with no talent, from a middle class family or consider to be poor compare to his family. I'm not interestiing or charming. Sometimes too shy but also too loud. Stubborn, tought, and not lady-like, but all I have is my unconditional love for him. I loves him so much for dear life and only him. Who would think that a girl like me will be confessed by this school prince charming? Well, I can I may interested in him first, but I never imagine he would interested in me also. Until one day during our first year, on his birthday, he confessed that he liked me, no he even said he loved me.

Well, seems like happy things don't last long with me. As you can see not may people happy with us being together and his family is the one that against us the most, but we still can go through for nearly four years. Well, at least until I graduated. I don't think I can graduates if we broke up before graduation and I don't think I will be stronge enough to break up with him if I haven't become independent. I grew dependent on him too much. You know, I'm not the type that strong, confident, decisive and independent. I maybe tought and stubborn but they are not the positive qualities.

People at school, classmates, friends and even teachers think that his family objection is the cause of our break up. But they don't seems to mind because they think a girl like me doesn't deserve him in the first place. They blame me that we broke up because in their eyes he is the most perfect guy and always right. While I'm always the one that have problems and always at fault. Beside my best friends, no one knows the truth behind this break up. They only know that I was the one who broke up with him after knowing that his family was against us. They only know that I left him devasted after the break up and off to find someone else. They blame me that I didn't love him enough to hold on and fight for him. I never tried to defense myself and I don't have the heart to uncover the truth as well. Let him always be the perfect one.

If it really is his family that made us broke up, I would not be that hurt but it solely because of another reason...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jong In, my one and only boyfriend, loved me a lot and I could tell just by the look of his eyes. He cared about me a lot. He called everyday, made sure that I arrived home safely. No matter how busy and tired he was, we would talk at least half an hour before going to bed. He helped me everyday with my daily routines. He bought me breakfast everyday and made sure he knows what I wanted to eat each day. He would carry my books and heavy bagpack to class and after class. If I was busy and could not eat lunch, he would skip as well. There was a period when my teeth hurt so much because of putting brace and I had to eat porridge everyday for nearly two months. That made me so moody. So as a caring boyfriend he was, he ate prroidge everyday for two months with me as well. He never yell at me even when we were fighting, he always talked sweetly to me with eyes full of loves. Most of the time he makes me sad or mad at him, but he always apologizes and makes up to me. And when I was so mad at him and he could do nothing to calm me down, he would take my hands and looked to me with guilty and pleading eyes. He would do anything I ask him to do, even something as crazy as running around the school and shouting that he loves me a lot. When I met problems, he would be one who stood in front of me and dealed with them himselves.

He was so sweet and caring that it made me hurt as hell when we broke up. Because he always took care of me and everything, I grow a habit of depending on him and I thought that I can't live without him. That's why even after I knew that he cheated behind my back, I still acted as I knew nothing and be a happy girlfriend I always was. That's why after we broke up, I had a hard time standing on my own to deal with this cruel world, while he has her to support him all the way. He loves me so much and so faithful that I could not accept the truth that he could cheat. Even sometimes now, I still wonder if he really cheated because this truth is seems so unrealistic to me and even to everyone that know about our relationship.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------