fifteen
Butterfly on Your Right ShoulderChapter 15
The door closed behind C.A.P. with a quiet click as he returned to his own room. Niel was still as he left him, sitting in the middle of a pile of books and CDs and crying softly into his hands.
C.A.P’s heart beat painfully within him. He knew how hard it was for them to cry. The group was full of proud men and Niel didn’t like crying as much as they rest of them. And yet there he was again and C.A.P was the cause of it all. Didn’t C.A.P vow to never make the other cry again?
C.A.P crossed the room and kneeled before his boyfriend, gently prying his hands from his face.
“Niel ah…” he began.
“I didn’t sleep with him,” Niel cut him off. “Why won’t you believe me?”
C.A.P didn’t know what to say. He’d be a liar if he said he believed Niel completely but he wanted to. He really did.
“He wanted to but we didn’t,” Niel went on. “All we did was talk.”
C.A.P used his sleeve wiped the tear tracks from Niel’s tanned face.
“I’m sorry,” C.A.P said after drying Niel’s cheeks. “I was wrong to call you that.”
“You don’t mean that,” Niel said.
He did mean his apology. He felt insecure and he felt powerless but he meant it. He meant every single word but he had no idea how to express it. He didn’t know how to tell Niel how hard it felt to watch him walk out of that door. It felt like Niel had turned his back on him and everything that he put on the line for the sake of their relationship.
How did Niel not understand it? Or was there something that C.A.P was failing to understand. Was it normal for someone to watch as the person they loved kept walking back into the arms of the person who hurt them?
“I do. I mean it,” C.A.P said, letting his fingers linger on the other’s face, loving the feel of the soft skin beneath his fingertips.
“Minsoo hyung, I love you,” Niel’s voice cracked as he spoke and C.A.P could feel the way Niel’s nails were digging into the sleeves of his shirt trying to bite at the flesh underneath.
C.A.P’s fingers moved up, curling into Niel’s hair and watching as the vocalist’s eyes fluttered shut. C.A.P knew that to be a sensitive spot for the other but his stomach churned as a familiar sickness and rage filled him.
Did Niel used to say those words to him as well?
‘Dongwook hyung, I love you.’
“I love you too,” C.A.P said, trying to fight the echo in his mind telling him that he wasn’t Niel’s only one.
Niel’s eyes opened as he stared at C.A.P a great need flaring up in his eyes.
“Show me,” Niel said. “Show me that you love me.”
C.A.P lunged forward without another thought, taking Niel’s lips with his own and roughly pressing his tongue into the other’s mouth. Niel whimpered and fell back against some books. It was bound to be uncomfortable with it digging in his back but C.A.P didn’t care. He pressed Niel’s shoulders so that his body would dig against it even harder.
Niel’s cried out into his mouth and his hands moved up his arms to circle around his back.
C.A.P could feel from the way that Niel’s fingers pressed against him that it was a bad idea to do it right then. There was that desperate cling that was too familiar to him. Niel didn’t want to talk so he was trying to shut C.A.P out with the thing he knew best: .
“Hyung,” Niel panted when C.A.P broke the kiss. “I want you so bad.”
“Niel,” C.A.P replied but he could see the violent swirl of emotions in the other’s eyes and he wasn’t sure he was willing to face it.
If he stopped here’d be another argument but would in this state even solve anything? C.A.P felt like he was caught in a trap and he both lamented and praised his position. There was no other trap he’d rather be in but Niel’s. He was bound for life.
Niel scooted back, shoving some of the books out of the way and leaning back onto his elbows, biting his plump lower lip and looking at C.A.P with his eyes lidded.
“Hyung…”
C.A.P gulped.
“I want you…”
C.A.P was crawling over to him like a pig to slaughter.
“….to hurt me.”
---
The next morning the atmosphere of the dorm of as normal as things could be with Teen Top. You wouldn’t have a clue that anything was out of the ordinary and Niel was being his normal cheerful self as they ate breakfast.
“Daniel ah!” C.A.P complained grogilly over his breakfast. “It’s too early to be this excited don’t you think.”
“I had a good night’s sleep!” Niel replied with a grin.
“Yeah we’re not all quite as lethargic as you,” Changjo joked.
C.A.P just groaned and Ricky shook his head as he watched C.A.P attempt to sleep and eat his cereal at the same time.
“So we don’t have practice until tonight,” Chunji said. “Does that mean you two are going to school?”
The 2nd oldest hyung looked over at the two maknae.
“Of course,” Ricky said. “I wouldn’t miss it. It’s going to be great I haven’t been able to go at all last week.”
After breakfast Changjo and Ricky gathered their belongings, dressed in their uniforms and went out the door. Ricky was glad to be able to go to school for once instead of stay in the dorm with his hyungs. Don’t get him wrong. He loves his hyungs but, there was just too much drama and oddly enough school was probably just the thing he needed to clear his head for a bit.
Thankfully he was right. Going to school and seeing all his friends was already making him feel recharged after his previous ordeal. It was turning out to be the perfect day until…
A flash of lightning and BOOM!
“Kyaaa!” A few girls in Ricky’s class screamed.
Ricky also jumped as suddenly the perfect blue sky outside his class window darkened and a downpour began.
“What the hell?” one of his classmates complained. “It was just sunny.”
“Wahhh I didn’t bring an umbrella,” one girl complained.
“Ugh this ing ,” another said.
Ricky frowned as he watched the rain from his seat. He was in a similar situation. He had no umbrella and he didn’t want to walk home in that. He could only hope that it would let up.
His hopes were in vein however because as the afternoon progressed the rain only became progressively worse. Ricky absolutely dreaded the sound of the bell ringing to go home and begrudgingly he made his way to his shoe locker to collect his belongings.
‘What should I do?’ he wondered. ‘Maybe I can call manager and see if he’s free to pick me up.”
He was so absorbed in that thought that when he closed his locker he didn’t expect to see Lee Hi standing right there with her face at his door.
“Woah. Hey Ha Yi. You surprised me,” Ricky laughed.
Lee Hi looked a bit shy as she muttered a slight apology.
Ricky thought nothing of it as he shouldered his back pack and turned to walk away to face his soggy fate, so it surprised him when he felt Lee Hi grab his elbow.
“Huh?” he said, looking at her round face. “What is it?”
“Uhm… uhmm Changhyun it’s raining,” she said.
“Yeah it’s raining hard,” Ricky sighed. “And I don’t have an umbrella.”
“Y,you want to share mine?” stuttered the girl, pulling out a yellow umbrella from behind her. “W,we can w,walk together!”
Ricky’s eyes lit up, “Oh yeah sure! Ae we going to the same train station?”
Lee Hi nodded, “Yes it’s fine. I d,don’t mind.”
They walked together to the enterance and Ricky held Lee Hi’s books as she opened her umbrella. They had to press their shoulders really tight together so as not to get wet.
“Is this really ok?” Ricky asked. “I don’t want you to get wet.”
“I’m n,not getting wet. I’m f,fine,” she replied.
“Oh good. Hehe thanks again! You’re a life saver,” Ricky handed her her bag again and she shouldered it.
As they started to walk across the campus Ricky realized it was the first the that he had really been alone with her. He had hung out with her and Zelo and some other classmates before but never just one on one.
“Hey this is pretty cool,” he said. “We never really hung out one on one before.”
“Y,yea—“ but as they neared the gate Lee Hi suddenly stopped in her tracks.
“What’s wrong?” Ricky asked.
Lee Hi pointed and Ricky turned to look and see it was Changjo standing there under an umbrella and he had an extra umbrella with him.
“HEY JONGHYUN!!!” Ricky ran to his friend, forgetting all about Lee Hi and her umbrella and joining his friend’s side.
Changjo turned when he heard his named called and saw Ricky coming from underneath an umbrella he was sharing with Lee Hi to come over to him. CHangjo frowned as he handed Ricky the extra umbrella.
“Yay! You thought about me!” Ricky beamed, opening the umbrella.
“Well someone had to,” Changjo rolled his eyes.
“You’re the best, Jonghyun!” Ricky hugged Changjo and the other protested because Ricky was a little bit wet.
It was at that point that Lee Hi reached them.
“Hi,” Lee Hi greeted.
“Hey Ha Yi this is my band mate Jonghyun! He brought me an umbrella so we don’t have to share after all!” Ricky beamed.
“T,that’s good,” Lee Hi replied.
“Yeah! Thanks I’ll walk home with Jonghyun now. Bye bye!”
Ricky laced his arm with Changjo and pulled him away while waving bye with his umbrella to Lee Hi who just stood there watching him leave.
When Ricky finally turned away he noticed that Changjo was chuckling. Ricky pouted.
“Yah Jonghyun why are you laughing?”
“You’re so clueless I don’t know whether to laugh or cry,” Changjo replied.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Nothing. You’re too stupid to know!”
Ricky’s brow furrowed. “HEY! Take that back!”
“No.”
Changjo walked a bit faster to leave Ricky behind and Ricky hurried to catch up.
“No really tell me!” he whined.
“Really Changhyun, if you don’t know the meaning of some girl wanting to share her umbrella with you you’re hopeless.”
“We’re just friends,” Ricky replied.
“Yeah… and that’s exactly the reason why I came here today across town from my school to deliver you an umbrella,” Changjo stated slolemnly.
Ricky nodded, “Yeah because we’re friends!”
Changjo’s heart ached. How could Ricky be so dense?
“Changhyun, if I only came here because we’re friends don’t you think Niel and Chunji would be here too?”
“Well… you’re just a better friend!”
Changjo walked ahead of Ricky again before turning and stopping dead in front of the shorter yet older boy.
“Ok! I’m sick and tired of this so I’m just going to let it out plainly because obviously you’re too stupid to know otherwise…” Changjo began.
Ricky tilted his head to the side cutely looking like a baby chick in his yellow school uniform.
“Yoo Changhyun… I, Choi Jonghyun, like you!”
-to be continued-
AN - ^o^ anyway the first part of this chapter was to show what happened when Niel and CAP "made up"! so what you think of this chapter cos i was screaming while writing it for both good and bad reasons!!! (i'll proofread later)
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