OH. MY. GAWD.

Kim Kibum stared at the stick of gum in his hand. So this must be what it felt like for ladies with pregnancy tests. So this was how they felt after they peed on the damn stick and was seeing the results for the first time. And gross, how the hell did he even know that!?

His world was crashing. His world was dying. His world was spinning absolutely out of control beyond his grasp and he was being swept up along with it. Well, God, why!? WHY!? 

"Do you hate me?" Kibum's lower lip quivered as the gum became blurry, tears swelled in his dark orbs of perfect brown.

WHY.

That was the only coherent thought flashing through his mind.

Amongst those chaotic thoughts, there were a few he recognized, though he detested them. One of them was: I'm GAY!? HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO HAVE A SON WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME!?

Another was: God, if you were going to make me gay, why couldn't you have given me better tastes?

Because the object of his love was the stupid kid standing in front of him, the one who was smiling so idiotically Kibum wanted to throw sand in his face.

"It's just gum…" the older boy muttered, his smile was slowly fading, and he just looked unsure and uncomfortable
.
"I don't want it, you idiot!" Kibum threw the stick on the ground despite the lurched in his heart. He ran. As fast as he could with such short legs; he hated being seven, he wanted to be taller.
 

PRESENTLY:

"Lee Jinki, don't look at me," Kibum mumbled as he counted the change from his pocket. He guessed that was enough to pay for the water bottle. He cursed silently to himself, why didn't he remember his wallet? How was he going to eat lunch now?

"I'm sorry," the cashier smiled at him. "Uh. If you don't have enough…"

"I do, okay? Give me a minute."

"Yah, Key, what's taking so long?" Jonghyun smacked his back, and was rewarded with a glare. "Okay, okay. Jeez, I'll pay for that water."

Kibum watched as Jjong took out his wallet and sighed. Free water, woohoo, now if only he could talk Jonghyun into paying for his lunch as well. It was going to take some convincing because the boy was so stingy.

"Let's go," Jonghyun opened the door, and Kibum followed, but someone grabbed his arm and stopped him before he could trail his friend out the door.

He knew who it was because his left arm, right above his elbow, was now so hot he felt like it was sending heat waves throughout the rest of his body. He tried to jerk out of the grip, but Jinki held on.

"You…don't have money today?"

"I forgot my wallet at home," Kibum told him, slightly annoyed. "So?"

"Take this," Jinki beamed frightening sun rays at him as he tossed over a ramen noodle cup.

"Uh, can you just hand things out like this?"

"It's okay, no one will notice."

Kibum knew he should thank him. That cup of noodle was probably going to save him from starvation, but the cup of noodle was turning his insides into hot liquids and he was slightly pissed. It was like the stinking gum!

"Just take it," Jinki was practically pushing it onto him now, "I know it's not much…but, it's still better than nothing right?"

"I don't go to a university, idiot. Where am I going to find a microwave?" That was a lie. There was one in the teacher's lounge that he could use.

"Oh!" The older boy looked flustered, and his cheeks brightened slightly. The light angle was making him look ridiculous – all milky skin and soft lips, his hair all tousled and so…

"Kibum?"

"Huh? What?"

"I was saying that you should take this instead," Jinki handed him a brown bag. "My mom made it for me, but, I can just eat here. So you have it."

"Idiot." Kibum mumbled as he snatched the bag and rushed out of the door.

=

"KEY!" Minho's deep voice penetrated from somewhere above as Kibum's face was suddenly met with a very hard object.

"Ugh," he touched his nose gingerly, "my beautiful nose!"

Jonghyun laughed from beside him, "that's what you get for smacking your face into the desk. Wipe off your drool and let's go to lunch."

"I fell asleep?"

"Out like a rock, man."

"YO! I LOVE THIS SHIIZZZ!" Jonghyun suddenly perked up as a rap song played from somewhere. It was probably from someone's much too loud headset.

"Please don't try to be gangster," Minho told him, serious.

"What chu talkin' bout? Crank it up!" Jonghyun called to someone, "This be my jam!"

"Does he know how ten generations ago he sounds?" Minho asked, looking at Kibum. "And that no one understands his English?"

Kibum tried to suppress a sigh, "no. He just picked up random lines from movies that I brought over from the States a few years ago. I don't know he knows they were made before we were even born."

"Why is Jjong hyung dancing like a monkey?" Taemin asked when he joined them at one of the outside tables they had chosen for lunch. Being one year younger, he could never see his friends in class; they only met for lunch. Aside from these few friends, he didn't really have anyone else because he was too shy to start a conversation properly.

"He thinks he's cool," Kibum picked up a nearby stick and aimed it at his best friend's head. "Hey demented loser, come eat before I kick you in the face."

Minho choked on his milk at Kibum's comment and Taemin tried hard to not smile.

"What is up your a…"

"KIM JONGHYUN!" Their teacher emerged from nowhere and whacked him upside the head. "I do not condone such language on school's property. This is a learning institution."

Jonghyun returned to their shared table sulkily, rubbing his head. "I haven't even said anything…"

"Hyung," Taemin looked at him, "as a 'young boy genius dance machine', I cannot condone your dancing anywhere on Earth. Please do not do that again."

This time Minho spit out his milk to keep himself from choking on it again, and Kibum simply laughed so hard he rolled out of the chair and fell onto the grass. The lunch ended with Kibum in a better mood, he even temporarily forgot whose lunch it was, and Jonghyun sulking to himself.

=

"Did you have a nice lunch?" Jinki asked when he saw Kibum entering the small convenient store.

"Do you ever not work?" Kibum retorted, glancing around nervously. It was already past midnight, or at least he was sure it was when he left his apartment to start the two miles walk over.

"This is my second shift. I just got back from some classes."

He knew that. How could he not when he had Jinki's very schedule memorized?

"So…I wanted to stop by…and say…thanks."

He pushed open the door and left before Jinki could answer. But the smile he saw on the older boy's face followed him all the way home.