This chapter pretty much clues people in to what the this story is even about. 

Mind-ery. 

Thankies for da love and support <3 

MAKE SURE TO LOOK AT THE ING DATES BEFORE EACH PART OF THE STORY,

OR ELSE YOU'LL BE ING LOST.

January 28th, 2016: Korea, Seoul.  

When Tao wakes up, his eyes are blurred with unshed tears, his heart racing a track as his body is radiating heat into Kris' fairly cold one. He breathes once, than twice.  

"Breathe" he reminds himself out-loud, the remainders of the nightmare (no, no, the past...) plaguing him like a bad odor. Lately, they're all he can think about.  

Turning onto his back, Kris let's out a begrudging yawn, limbs stretching each possible way before he cracks open an eye, a sleepy smile on his lips. "Good morning."  

Tao smiles hesitantly, "morning."  

Furrowing his brows, "what's wrong?" He demands softly, a hand possessively treading it's way through Tao's messy morning hair.  

"Just a bad dream," he says off-handily, making the matter seem discerning and senseless as Tao wants it to be. But it's not, no, these nightmares will always haunt him until he gets his happy ever after.  

Kris frowns. "You've been having a lot of those lately... are," he swallows thickly, "you still upset over the cover-up?"  

"No" Tao says, eyes withdrawn as he attempts to seem indifferent. "It'll be okay," it's said more to himself, to heal his wounds.  

"Tao," Kris half-hisses, tugging Tao's head forward by his hair, "say you want me to break it off, I will, instantly."  

"You can't" Tao croaks, the miserable feeling he had acquired from his nightmares (no, the chaste moments he re-lives) hitting him like a truck. "Cause... I, you, people are talking, I don't want your career too --" 

"We can run away" Kris says wistfully, hands cupping Tao's cheeks, "I'd do anything for you."  

Tao wills away the tears. Reminding himself over and over, that Kris is a liar, this Kris always lies.  

"I know" Tao says instead, a playful smile on his lips, "being an idol is just as important to you though. I'll be fine, just give me 2 days every week, and I'll be okay."  

 ∞

February 3rd, 2016: Korea, Seoul. 

Kris is a cunning man. Tao realizes with a strong heart, he had built walls and walls around his heart to protect himself from Kris.  

"Damn ," Lay says with a flick of his wrist, flipping open his cellphone to furiously tap away at his phone, "he has that  and you. He's just getting the good life."  

"It's fine," Tao half-laughs, not really feeling up to the task of seeming happy when Kris is vowing himself to another woman. Well, he guesses he should be happy considering this is the first time they've gotten to live for so long, usually, (Tao realizes with a cringe) they're both dead by now.  

"How is this fine" Lay snaps moodily, "he's totally choosing her over you." 

"It's a cover-up" Tao says in a discerning way (even though he cares, too much, he thinks).  

"Is that what he tells you? Clever."  

"Yixing," he warns, using his friends real name. "You're both in the same band, you should be happy for him."  

"Stop defending Kris." Chen says coming up behind the pair, "Kris is being a total -wipe and he's gonna have what's coming to him."  

Let's hope not, Tao thinks cringing, I like this life compared to the other's.  

He doesn't want to know what type of relationship they might have in the future. It could be worst, and worst isn't what he's looking for.  

"Oh well" Tao laughs, "even if he's cunning I still love him." 

Chen's eyes look very heavy, and Tao forces on a happier looking smile. Something more convincing.  

"That's just the problem," Chen mutters darkly, "how silly."  

 ∞

March 6th, 2016: Korea, Seoul.  

At first this whole cover-up deal was good. Kris saw him at least 5 times a week, and they had twice, at least 23 kisses, and 28 hugs. Life was fine, Tao was capable of ignoring the reminder that Kris isn't his, not now.  

He could live with that though, because Kris was still with him.  

Soon the visits became 3 visits a week, every second week, 5 kisses, and 13 hugs. Soon, the visits started becoming less frequent and Tao didn't have the heart to ask Kris to visit him at least once a week, because Kris is being over worked and his "cover-up" is hogging all the .  

Tao turns 29 in 2 months, his parents are frequently asking him when he's going to get married, and Kris is becoming a big-time idol while pictures of him and Tao "hanging out" resurface onto the internet, making scandals a big thing at the moment.  

'He has a wife,' the fans will object with, 'Kris-oppa can't be gay.' Tao laughs at them.  

Some fans want him to be gay, most don't. Tao is starting not to care.  

His nightmares are no longer nightmares, he see's them during the day, he dozes off and his thoughts are plagued by Kris crying, Kris kissing him, Kris holding him, Kris smiling at him from under his cap.  

When Tao finally breathes, eyes staring blankly at his TV screen, he realizes he's been crying. 

'I wish if Kris was to ever die, I'll die too.' Is what he said, though, he thinks, he's never died before Kris.  

"Maybe the next life," Tao whispers softly, his lungs constricting as he stands up, making his way to the balcony.  

Maybe our next life I can just...  

∞

August 3rd, 2006: Korea, Seoul.  

"Have you always been in my class?" Kris asks, standing over a petite black-haired boy, whom apparently has been in the same class as him every year since the beginning of high school. Though, Kris thinks it has something to do with the fact he's been getting ready for his debut that he doesn't really have much time aside from sleeping and practicing. Sometimes even breathing seems far-fetched.  

The boy looks up, head tilted backwards as he smiles. "Yes."  

Kris had wondered why the boy smiled so softly at him, as if he was waiting for this inevitable meeting. Kris had smiled back, hesitantly, before heading back to his desk.  

"So, whadda ya' think of Zitao?" One of his friends jeered, and Kris rolled his eyes at him.  

"Maybe next time," he finds himself saying, "I'll ask him to hang out with us."  

 ∞

March 6th, 2016: Korea, Seoul. 

Tao lifts his body over the railing, arms shaking along with his legs. He's done this before, kill himself.  

"I've done it once, I can do it again" he says determinedly into the cold air.  

Though he'd prefer not too, the memory of it always makes him cringe. He hates redoing entire lives, different places in the world, and re-learning things he'd rather not re-learn.  

Plus, it's always a hassle when he remembers.  

There's stars twinkling over his head, the polluted sky making them seem like dim lights, attempting to guide him home. When Tao closes his eyes, one foot stepping out in front of him as he let's his body fall forward,  

Right before he hits the ground he opens his eyes, a strangled cry echoing throughout a hospital room.  

"It's a boy," a woman coo's happily in German, holding the baby close to her chest.  

 ∞

(The next night Kris' wife walks into their apartment to have found her husband dead in his own pool of blood after the news of Huang Zitao committing suicide.

When Kris opens his eyes, he's in the year 2076 and he can't seem to remember where he's been the last couple of hours. Promptly, he forgets everything and meets Tao again.) 

Huang Zitao & Kris Wu,

dead by suicide

March 6th/7th, 2016.