Every day was the same. Taemin was so sick of it, but he couldn’t break the routine. Everyday he’d get up at 10am, even though he had been awake since 7am and he had just lain in bed thinking about nothing, not wanting to face the world. Then he’d go into the bathroom and look at his messy standy uppy hair, puffy face, his red eyes from yet another night of crying himself to sleep and think about how ugly he was as he waited for the water for the shower to heat up.

After his shower he would put on one of many his giant tshirts that he had gotten for free at Hanyang University and his sweat pants and crunch some toast with strawberry jam and butter on. And then he would pad his way to his couch, where he would lie on a cushion uncomfortably in silence before he would crawl back to bed again and wouldn’t get up unless he got hungry or needed to go to the bathroom.

All he could think about were the last words his ex had said to him.

“I’m sorry. I’m breaking up with you. I think I’m starting to like someone else, and I don’t want to be unfaithful to you, even in my thoughts. You’re still one of the most beautiful boys I have ever seen, but you were meant for someone else.”

Such a gentleman. Every time he thought about it he wanted to cry, so he cried most of the time. His brain was so addled it couldn’t concentrate on a book, a movie or TV. He wasn’t in the mood for music, all overpowering and exaggerated. All he wanted was peace and quiet, and to close his eyes and feel sad.

To say his friends and brother were worried were an understatement. Gentleman ex had broken up with him just as college finished for winter break so he had all these weeks to have a good wallow. So for weeks he just lay in bed doing nothing. When his friends Minho and Jonghyun and his brother Jinki who shared the flat with him tried to talk to him or make him feel better, he just ignored them, curling even tighter in himself. He pretty much only ate toast and a bit of whatever Jinki made for dinner. He felt no urge to eat ice creams or chocolate and watch sad films like in the movies. He was just sad.

“I know it hurts, but you need to get up and move on,” said Jonghyun after failed attempts of cheering him up such as playing the guitar for Taemin which made Taemin burrow into his blankets further or showing him funny pictures on his phone which Taemin stared blankly at and made Jonghyun feel like maybe his sense of humour was wrong.

“You need to try make yourself feel better, and they’ll you’ll be happy again,” said Minho after he had tried playing playstation games with him but Taemin hadn’t even picked up the controller and the fast foods Taemin normally loved that he had bought him grew cold and had to be thrown out every time.

“You’ll find someone new, someone better and he’s just waiting to meet you too,” said Onew in the evenings when he managed to coax Taemin to eat some food and he would rub his back soothingly.

And slowly, he did become better, bit by bit he stopped being so sad and he could watch TV again, and he started listening to his Ipod again. But he still wasn’t himself.

Jonghyun and Minho had decided to set him up on a blind date.

“He’s really nice and friendly, and not badlooking at all. If it goes well, then that’s great. If it doesn’t, then it’s a funny story to tell us, right?” encouraged Jonghyun.

“Don’t you think it’s too soon?” Jinki hissed at Jonghyun.

“What do you think, Taemin?” asked Minho. “Do you want to go?”

Taemin didn’t like the way Jinki had assumed he wasn’t ready. He was 20, he could handle it. “Okay,” he agreed.

So the date was set, Wednesday in a nice restaurant downtown near the flat.

It was Wednesday already.

Taemin sat in front of the mirror and gave a shaky sigh, turning his face to see his left cheek, the one with all the acne scars. He looked sick and yellow, his eyes too small. He spread his moisturiser on his face before opening his jar of foundation. He hadn’t done this in a while. He had hated it when Taemin wore makeup, always said that Taemin didn’t need it, that guys didn’t wear makeup.

But Taemin liked it.

He liked painting his face to make it look prettier, to make his skin look smoother. It had made him happy. Who cares if boys normally didn’t wear makeup. He felt slightly better as he used his foundation brush to spread foundation everywhere, loving the way it covered dark spots from previous breakouts. He got out his gel eyeliner, dipping in the tiny brush and carefully outlining the top of his eyelid, not too much to look obvious, but enough to make his eyes look better. He got out his chapstick and spread some on his dry lips before staring at himself in the mirror again and giving himself his tight lipped smile grimace. He looked okay.

He looked like himself again.

He turned the knob to the door amidst Jonghyun, Minho and Jinki’s wishes of good luck and jammed in his headphones. Korn’s ‘Get Up’ assaulted his eardrums. He hadn’t liked this song, saying that it was just mindless screaming and swearing and noise. When Taemin had played it for him excitedly because he wanted to share with him his new favourite song, he had scrunched up his face and told him to shut it off after 30 seconds.

But Taemin liked it.

The doormat dinged as he walked into the brightly lit quaint restaurant, lamps hanging down from the ceiling with fake green potted trees everywhere. He scanned the restaurant shyly, not sure who he was looking for, puffing into his scarf. Couples everywhere. He got ready for overwhelming sadness that he was a single and totally left out with no one to love him, until he remembered that he was here for a date too. He felt a bit warmer.

“Hello sir, do you have a reservation?” asked the front of house attendant.

“Um I don’t know. Um..” Taemin fumbled with his words as he checked his phone. Jonghyun and Minho had said 7 o clock. It was 7 o clock now. Trust Taemin to be punctual. He was probably the first one here. “Um, table for…”

His voice trailed off as he spied a young man sitting on a table for two by himself who was checking his phone and looking out the window.

He had brown hair that had been styled nicely and really smooth white skin, and so skinny but he still looked manly unlike Taemin, because his bones were thicker, making him look healthier. He had on a white shirt underneath a navy jumper that fitted him well and showed off his collarbones.

He was sooooo hooooooootttt. There was no way this was his blind date.

The boy in question probably could feel his gaze on him and turned his head to look at him in full eye contact. Wow, he really was cute, thought Taemin. Cute boy cocked his head, as if asking him a question, and Taemin did the same. Cute boy typed something in his phone.

Hi? buzzed Taemin’s phone.

Damn Jonghyun and Minho must have given him his number.

After seeing Taemin check his phone and read the message, cute boy stood up beaming and waving and Taemin smiled shyly back.

“Oh the one I’m meeting is already here,” he blushed to the attendee and tentatively made his way to the table. His heart was pounding because he was so nervous, his palms were sweaty and he felt giddy and embarrassed. Was cute boy judging him too? Was he okay? What was he going to say to him? Taemin had always been shy. He wanted to run away. He wished he hadn’t agreed to this and he was snuggled and warm and sad and safe in his bed like every night.

Cute boy smiled as Taemin reached the table, and Taemin was almost too scared to meet his eyes. Whenever they did it was half awkward half exciting, anticipating, sparkling.

Taemin stood frozen when cute boy pulled out his chair for him.

“Thanks,” he said shyly again. He hadn’t had that done to him before, only girls got that. But felt so nice and made him feel so tingly and happy. He wondered if cute boy knew how much of an impact that gesture made.

Taemin did.

“Hi,” said the cute boy when he sat down, smiling at Taemin, his eyes feline shaped and smiling warmly at him too. His voice was nice. It was deeper than Taemin’s and louder, more confident.

“Hello,” said Taemin, shrugging off his jacket and unwinding his scarf.

Cute boy’s eyes widened when he saw the pattern of the jacket lining and could see a little bit of the label.

“Burberry?” cute boy gasped. “How did you afford that?”

At least there was no doubting he was gay, smiled Taemin to himself, and that thought feuled his confidence.

“I can’t. My parents paid for my plane ticket to China and the bus ride to the market, so they could afford to shell out a few more yuan for a jacket,” smiled Taemin mischeviously.

Cute boy’s eyes widened before he started laughing like if Taemin really was funny.

He had never laughed at Taemin’s jokes. He would just laugh at Taemin. Oh Taemin, your jokes are so dry.

Taemin chuckled too, trying to push away his thoughts of him.

“My name Is Kim Kibum, but you can call me Key,” said cute boy. “What’s your name?”

“Lee Taemin,” said Taemin.

“It’s nice to meet you Taemin-shii,” said Key, extending his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” answered Taemin, letting Key hold his. Key’s hands were long and manly. His were small, fat and stubby. But it felt nice to hold Key’s hand even for a second for a handshake. He started imagining what they looked like if they were entwined, swinging back and forth if they went on more dates…

..to watch?”

“S-s-sorry?” stuttered Taemin, blushing that he had been caught out not paying attention.

Key laughed. “I said, what do you like to do in your spare time? What sort of music do you like to listen to, movies you like to watch?”

“Well,” hesitated Taemin. “I really like animated films… have you heard of one called Howl’s Moving Castle?”

“No. Way.” stated Key. “You like Studio Ghilbi?”

“You’ve heard of it?” asked Taemin excitedly.

“Heard of it? I love Hayao Miyazaki!” squealed Key. “I love Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, My neighbour Totoro, Howl’s Moving Castle… oh my god, all of them!”

Taemin beamed.

“I love the scene when Chiharu and her parents walk inside and it’s deserted and her parents start pigging out,” continued Key. “And then they turn into pigs! It’s so creepy! I always think about that scene whenever I’m in a buffet and I stop myself from eating it all.”

Taemin laughed. “Key-shii, you’re funny! I liked the bit where the gigantic baby turns into a hamster.”

“Omg that ugly baby!” yelled Key. “I hated him and his evil mother. He was so good at the end though.”

“How she turns into the bird!” agreed Taemin. “She was so freaky-“

“Are you ready to order?” interrupted the polite voice of the waitress.

“Oh yes. Order order. Hmm,” said Key, scanning the menu with a smile on his face, and Taemin opened his too.

“Do you drink, Taemin-shii?” asked Key, looking at the drinks menu.

“Aaah..”

They had never had drinks when they went out. He always said that alcohol was poison for the body.

But Taemin liked it.

“Yes,” said Taemin.  “Wine?”

“Sounds good,” mulled Key. “White or red?”

“Red is healthier, isn’t it?”

“Good thinking! Red it is. I have to tell you though, I don’t know how to pick wines. They all taste the same to me,” confessed Key.

Taemin laughed. “Same! Just pick the cheapest one, Key-shii. It’s not like I can appreciate or tell the difference from the most expensive.”

“Are you sure?” asked Key. “I’m paying for this meal after all. It’s not too much of a splurge for me if we get a better wine.”

“What? No,” disagreed Taemin. “I’m paying for us Key-shii, don’t be silly.”

“Let’s fight over the bill after dinner sirs, just relax for now,” laughed the waitress.

“Fine. Which one do you want Taemin-shii?” asked Key.

“You pick, Key-shii,” answered Taemin.

They stared at each other, grinning in mutual annoyance at the others indecisiveness.

“Fine! We’ll have a bottle of the chardonnay please. And I’ll have the ox bone soup.”

Taemin widened his eyes at the sound of Key’s order, flipping through the pages as he still hadn’t made up his mind yet. “I haven’t chosen yet,” panicked Taemin.

“I’ll come back later for you,” said the waitress.  “I’ll go get your wine.”

Taemin sighed in exasperation as he laid the menu on the table.

“I’ve been here before.  Everything here is nice,” said Key encouragingly. “What do you feel like?”

How to say he hadn’t eaten properly for about a month and he had sort of forgotten what good food tasted like?

“Maybe something spicy?” wondered Taemin aloud.

“How about this one? Or this?” said Key, pointing at the random pictures helpfully.

The wine came and the waitress poured it into their glasses.

“Cheers Taemin-shii,” said Key, clinking his glass against his Taemin’s. “Thanks for meeting me.”

“Thanks for meeting me too,” echoed Taemin, smiling as he gave a little sip.

“You’re so shy,” said Key, smiling. “It’s cute.”

Taemin’s face got really hot then.

“Is it okay if I go to the bathroom?” asked Key.

“No,” joked Taemin. “Just let it out here.”

Key laughed again and squeezed Taemin’s arm as he got up.

Taemin really was enjoying himself. Key was so nice and cute. He felt happy and cheerful again. He was joking again. He felt a sparkle and lightness in his heart that he hadn’t felt since the early days of dating him.

Him.

Taemin needed to stop thinking about him. This night wasn’t about him. This night was about Taemin and Key.

But what if Key didn’t like Taemin as much as Taemin liked Key? What if he found Taemin too ugly, too shy, too boring? What if he was planning to ditch him right now? And Key would come out of the bathroom, phone in hand, talking about how he had a family emergency and then run home to call his friends to make fun of Taemin?

He took another sip of his wine, feeling his neck muscles relaxing.

“Ready to order sir?”

Key came back looking a bit different.

Taemin studied him for a bit as Key smiled and sat down. He smiled back even brighter when he noticed what it was.

Key’s skin was less shiny and looked more even and matte.

Key had been putting more makeup on in the bathroom. Taemin couldn’t stop smiling when he realised. Key wanted to impress him! Key was just like him!

“Did you order?” asked Key.

“Yup,” said Taemin. “Um… L..l..l something. Las… lasco?”

“Lasco?” repeated Key. “I’ve never heard of that. What is it?”

“Um, I don’t actually know,” said Taemin. “Wait. I don’t know what I ordered! Lasco! Definitely Lasco! What is it?”

“I don’t know,” said Key worriedly. “Do you want to change?”

“No, it’s okay,” said Taemin who did want to change. “We’ll find out what a Lasco is soon I guess…”

They talked about themselves, and both were delighted to learn that the other studied dance as well. Taemin was two years younger than Key, but they had plenty of mutual interests and so they had heaps to talk about. Taemin hadn’t smiled and laughed like this in what felt like years. His eyes hurt from scrunching up so much in smiling, and it seemed like his mouth wouldn’t stop talking.

“Your meals,” said the waitress, placing their food, bowls of rice and sidedishes in front of them.

“Excuse me, what’s in this lasco?” asked Taemin politely, breaking out of his mirth to ask the question.

“Lasco?” asked the waitress, looking at him strangely. “What’s that? This is kimchi gratin.”

Taemin clapped his hands as he remembered. “Aah! Yes! I ordered kimchi gratin!”

Key snorted on his sip of wine. “Kimchi gratin? Then what’s Lasco?”

“I don’t know,” said Taemin and Key laughed until he was a bit red.

Taemin had a really nice meal. Kimchi gratin was nice. Key was so hot, and the more he found out about Key, the hotter he became in Taemin’s eyes. They shared a cheesecake afterwards which Taemin thought was romantic. They finished the bottle of wine and Taemin was feeling really carefree and happy. They both fought viciously over the bill when it came.

“I’m your hyung, I’m supposed to treat you,” said Key as he grabbed Taemin’s hand with his money and pushed it out of reach.
“Don’t you dare, Key-shii! It’s been my pleasure!” yelled Taemin, his hand grabbing Key’s money and trying to stuff it back in Key’s pocket.

“No!” shrieked Key as they literally wrestled.

In the end, Key managed to snatch the bill and sprint to the counter to pay as Taemin protested.

“Key-shii, it isn’t right,” Taemin said flustered, stomping his foot like a child as Key smirked and folded up the receipt. Key looked like he wanted to ask something.

“How are you getting home?” asked Key.

“Walking,” replied Taemin. “What about you?”

“I’m walking too,” said Key. “I’ll walk you to yours.”

Taemin beamed, glad their night wasn’t over.

For the first time that night, they had a silence as they neared Taemin’s apartment. Taemin stared at the pavement and their shoes both moving in the same rhythm in the light of the streetlamp, and he had a burning desire to talk about him, to tell Key all about his failed relationship, to explain his weird behaviour, to let Key know that he was damaged goods.

“You know, this reminds me of the opening of Mr. Bean, “ said Key. “Me and my family used to watch it religiously, even my grandma.”

Taemin let out a giggle. “Like when he needed to get changed at the beach in front of a man who was blind..”

Key laughed. “My favourite was when he got his head stuck in a turkey!”

The walk was over too soon.

“Um. I really enjoyed tonight. I hope we can do this again,” said Key, his voice sounding nervous  as they stood face to face outside the steps to his apartment.

“Me too. I need to pay next time as well. You have my number right?” asked Taemin, feeling bold in front of Key’s nervousness.

Key nodded and they smiled at each other.

“Bye,” said Taemin holding his arms out, deciding to take the initiative.

“Bye,” said Key, stepping into them and hugging Taemin.

Taemin hadn’t been hugged by someone who wasn’t Jinki, Minho or Jonghyun in so long. It felt really nice. Key smelt really nice. Taemin smiled widely at the night sky from Key’s shoulder, drunk off pure happiness.

“Text me when you get home so I know you haven’t been kidnapped or attacked,” joked Taemin as they slowly pulled away.

“Okay,” agreed Key. “Goodnight. Sweet dreams, Taemin-shii.”

“Good night,” said Taemin lightly, turning around to walk up his apartment nonchalantly as his stomach floated away.

His smile couldn’t leave his lips as he got into the elevator, going to the message Key sent him in the restaurant, reading the Hi? over and over.

Taemin closed his eyes and felt content for the first time in a long time, as he felt his life begin again.

A/N As always, don't forget to tell me what you think! :) Unless it's not nice. Then keep mean thoughts to yourself and only say nice things haha :)