( Returned Favour – Prologue )

The sounds of the rain that battered against the windows of his apartment felt like a dull and steady ache for Myungsoo who sat helplessly by his broken friend’s side — helpless, because as much as he wanted to somehow save the poor guy from himself, almost all of his previous attempts all evening had been futile.

Just knock me out of my misery. I can’t stand it anymore. Hoya had told him some minutes before, but he knew his intoxicated friend was just indirectly asking for Myungsoo to return the bottle of vodka he had hidden from the broken man’s reach about an hour before.

“Hoya.” Myungsoo sighed the name weakly. It drained him just to watch one of his closest friends breaking apart right in front of him, especially since keeping him away from alcohol seemed to be the only thing he could do for him. He felt so utterly useless. “Don’t let a woman break you like this. You’re strong, Hoya. This isn’t like you…”

What was he supposed to say to him? Should he even say anything at all?

He had to at least try something though. 

“Hoya,” he spoke up again, “She’s not worth it. You deserve someone better.”

Myungsoo wasn’t really anticipating any kind of reaction from Hoya. He figured Hoya would just let the words go in one ear and out the other just like everything else Myungsoo had spoken ever since Hoya first let himself into his apartment some hours before. Instead, a low humourless chuckle escaped the older male as he lifted his gaze from the carpet to look straight into Myungsoo’s eyes for the first time that evening. 

Hoya’s eyes were coloured with something foreign that Myungsoo had never seen before. 

“What if it’s you?” 

“What?”

“Someone better? You said it yourself.”

Myungsoo blinked his eyes repeatedly in bewilderment while Hoya inched a little closer to him. The latter’s lips wore a smile, but it wasn’t remotely happy and he just knew that Hoya was seconds away from making another self-depreciating statement. Myungsoo wanted to stop him, but was suddenly speechless as the proximity of Hoya’s lips to his own was beginning to register in his mind. He turned his head away.

“Someone better, that's for sure,” Hoya spoke softly, his lips barely brushing against Myungsoo’s cheekbone while doing so, “but not someone I deserve, right? Who am I kidding? I’m a fool for even thinking about it.” 

Then panic exploded in the younger male as Hoya pulled back slightly only to come back and press his lips hard against Myungsoo's, wasting no time in beginning to nibble and Myungsoo’s lips. Motionless from the shock as it was way out of Myungsoo’s comfort zone, he couldn't even push him away. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to.

Myungsoo’s attention was fixed on Hoya’s hands instead, which were moving in slow and gentle circles around his waist before tugging the edge of his shirt slightly upward, just enough to slip his cold hands underneath. That, together with how eagerly Hoya’s mouth embraced his, had Myungsoo feeling powerless again but in a whole new sense.

“Hoya.” Myungsoo let out as soon as the older’s mouth momentarily left his, and threw his head back as he felt him scatter smaller kisses along his jawline. 

“Don’t say it,” Hoya murmured. Then he kissed his lips again.

I can’t. This is so wrong. I have a girlfriend. This isn’t right. I can’t do this, Hoya. 

Myungsoo resisted but evidently not enough to convince anyone that he opposed Hoya’s actions wholeheartedly. Not even himself. 

“Myungsoo.” Hoya whispered against his lips as he pulled away slightly. 

“W-what?”

“Can you do me a favour?”

Myungsoo bit his lip. Hoya had backed away a little, giving him some space to think although his hand was still on Myungsoo’s waist, unintentionally or otherwise making him go crazy with the subtle sensations his actions created for him. His thoughts were all jumbled up, but it seemed his body was already doing the thinking for him. 

And it wasn’t like Myungsoo had never thought about how it would feel making out with his best friend. Now that he was one bad decision away from getting a lot more than a kiss, his body screamed Yes even if his mind knew it was wrong.

In one sure movement Myungsoo began to respond to Hoya’s body at last, in ways he never thought would feel so natural to him. He latched onto Hoya’s lips, a little nervously at first, and let the older male’s arms pull him up to sit on his lap where they continued making out for a while before they later moved to the bedroom. 

There was no way a single night of drunken could ruin their friendship and trust, right?

Wrong. 

How could Myungsoo even think it, as the sober one of the two? 

The night passed by mesmerisingly slow as the two men became more intimate than they had ever been with each other, lost entirely in each other’s touch, scent, skin, breaths and so much that the world outside Myungsoo’s apartment might as well have been ending and they wouldn’t have even noticed. Probably. 

But then, all of those senses died with the night. 

In the morning, Myungsoo woke up in an empty bed with a heavy heart and a note that told him to forget about what had happened between them. Along with that disgraceful demand, Hoya ended the letter with an apology. 

I'm Sorry.

Shouldn’t it have been a thank you instead, as Myungsoo had done him a favour that he asked? And why did that make Myungsoo’s heart ache, instead of just filling him with confusion or anger?

A year passed by slowly with Myungsoo battling the agonising confusion in his heart and mind as he continued to beat himself up over letting himself give into Hoya’s pleads that night. It destroyed every bit of their friendship that they had built up over the years.

How could Hoya just sneak out of his apartment in the morning like it was a one night stand?

Was it a one night stand? 

After that, Hoya had cut off all contact between them for over three months. And when he eventually appeared in front of Myungsoo again, thanks to an invitation from a mutual friend, seemingly ready to finally confront him confidently, it was Myungsoo who decided to shut him out. 

Anger boiled in his chest again at the thoughts of Hoya and that night in general, which led Myungsoo to throw an empty beer bottle against the wall above his television, no longer caring about the mess that was becoming of his living room.

A year had passed by and Myungsoo found himself in the same position Hoya had been that night, bar having a good friend by his side to take advantage of in his lonely state. 

At least he wasn’t already so badly ed over by his closest friend as a cherry on top of his heartache.

Myungsoo hung his head and sighed. He couldn’t believe what he was thinking as he began to scan the floor for his phone.

After avoiding having to think about him for months, he was suddenly wondering where Hoya was, what he was doing, if he was alone like Myungsoo had been that dreadful night before he showed up at his doorstep with a broken heart and a litre bottle of vodka.

He hoped he’d be alone. 

“Pathetic.” Myungsoo grunted. 

He grabbed his phone from under the coffee table. The screen was cracked from the impact of it being thrown against the wall multiple times from rage but it still worked. 

Because I'm out of beer, he reasoned with himself in his mind as he began typing a message to the one person he knew he was likely to have a liquor cabinet full of bottles of tasty spirits at this hour of the night.

I just need more booze. That's the only reason I'm texting him.

Then, immediately after pressing send, Myungsoo began to regret his spontaneous drunk text message. The regret only lasted a few seconds though as he received a reply almost instantly. 

[Yeah I’m alone. You can come over.]