Dear Diary,

At our request, Manager-hyung had picked us up and taken us to the dance studio to exercise a little bit, where we ran into Hello Venus. He whispered to me that he was going to do it.

When he said it, I died a little inside, thinking that it’s over. Thinking that Yooyoung wouldn’t reject Minhyun. Minhyun’s far too perfect to be rejected. He’s good-looking, and kind, and sweet and pure. He’s more beautiful than she could ever hope for. (Okay, that was a bit mean, but really…)

BUT, she did reject him.

He took her hand, and kissed her knuckles and said a bunch of romantic crap I taught him to say. He asked if she would accept his heart, and she flat-out rejected him.

(Okay, not flat-out. She tried to be nice with the rejection, but still she devastated him all the same).

I don’t know whether to be happy or sad about that.

Minhyun kept a cool face and nodded in understanding, saying that he hoped she and him could still be friends and she nodded graciously in agreement. I had thought that Minhyun had actually handled the rejection quite well until Hello Venus left the dance studio, where he broke down crying in my arms.

He said he wasn’t good enough for her. He said he was too ugly and that his voice was annoying, and that he wasn’t talented enough for her. He kept calling himself the least likable member of Nu’est, and he kept saying that he brings down the group. I rocked him in my arms telling him that what he was saying was bull.

It hurt me to see him like this, so broken with his confidence shattered. I think I was the only one who has seen Minhyun like that; he never showed this vulnerable side of him to any other member. The fans think he’s confident about his voice and his looks, but really that’s just a cover. He is actually the most self-conscious person in Nu’est.

I sat there in the dance studio, holding him in my arms as I his hair and kissed his forehead and he cried silently into my chest. I hated this. His first confession to a girl, his first crush, and it ended in in heartbreak, and it resulted in him thinking that no one wants him.

I can’t let it end like this. I’m thinking of confessing to show him that someone does indeed desire him the way he desired Yooyoung.

Should I?

I know I’ll get rejected. But that’s the point. I need to show him he has the superiority to reject me, I need to show him that he is good enough to do that. It would help him regain his confidence.

But if I do get that rejection from him, I would drown in the lonely abyss of depression. Not to mention, it might ruin our relationship and make everything awkward. I can’t let that happen.

What the was I thinking? Of course I shouldn’t confess. How did that even cross my mind?