(Here we go, baby)

Jessica brushed aside a stray lock of her hair as she closed the door to the car shut, waving to her manager as he drove away. Pulling open the door to her pension, Jessica called out her sister’s name; Krystal wasn’t home. The elder Jung seized this as an opportunity to get some alone time- something that was a luxury these days. With the popularity of SNSD rising every day, free time was hard to come by.

Slipping out of her dress, Jessica slid into her bed with pajamas on, throwing the blanket over her head and running through the day’s activities through her head.

There was Star King in the morning, which went alright. As the members of SNSD had stopped living together, she finally saw Yoona on Star King for the first time in a week. Then there was Music Bank which she co-hosted with Shinhwa’s Minwoo. She had gotten a little flustered but with Minwoo’s guidance, everything worked out in her favor.

But there was something that was bothering her; in this week’s Star Golden Bell, “fans” were able to tell stars what they honestly thought about them—as long as the message wasn’t too rough. When it came for Jessica, all of the messages revolved around how she was a cold person who didn’t care for her fans. It took every ounce of self-restraint to hold her tears back and be professional. “I can’t help the way I look,” she had replied to the MC. “I think people like to judge people on what they’ve seen or heard before, they don’t try to get to know me. They think I’m naturally cold and arrogant. However, I like to think I’m an honest, down-to-earth person who cares about her fans. Please continue to support me and I’ll try hard to break my ice-princess mask.”

Finally, realizing that there was an uncomfortable feeling behind her chest, Jessica took a deep breath, letting tears out. At first, they came out slowly but as she continued to think about all the harsh criticism and difficulties she faced, the tears came out quicker, spilling over her pale lids and into her blanket, leaving a wet mark.

(Spaces trapped in lies, moments without truth)

She tried smiling as she passed the pedestrians on the street but they simply looked away, avoiding her gaze. Was there something wrong with her? Did she look that cold? Were people that repulsed by her? Biting her lips to prevent herself from crying, Jessica pushed open the door to the mall, walking her confident walk, though on the inside she was crumbling.

How easy it was to maintain a façade, pretend that everything was fine. How simple her life looked to those who didn’t know her, how easy it was to put her under criticism. But Jessica Jung wasn’t one to stay down.

No, if she had learned anything from being in SNSD, it was that you’ll constantly be under criticism—whether it was fair or not. You’ll always be under criticism whether that criticism is justified or not. People enjoyed putting someone down, people enjoyed judging others on first appearances.

(They have already perfected it, the scenario that hides everything)  

Jessica nodded, signaling that she would wait for her mother to return from the restroom. She pulled her tan coat around her shoulders as the airport was chilly. Pushing her shades up her nose, Jessica turned around as she felt someone tap her.

It was a little child.

Smiling, Jessica leaned down. “Annyeong (hello)! What’s your name?”

“Mari,” she little girl replied, grinning. “I’m a fan of yours!”

“Oh, really?” Jessica asked, standing up straight again. “That’s cool!” Aware of the hundreds of fancams focused on her, Jessica reached over to take the pen from the child’s hand and signed the poster that had her face on her. “Here you go,” she said. “It was nice meeting you, Mari. Please always support SNSD.” Jessica extended her hand out, shaking the girl’s outstretched hand with a small laugh.

“Oh, Jessi, ready?” Jessica’s mother asked, sliding her handbag up her arm.

Nodding, Jessica took a hold of her suitcase and fell into step next to her mom with a smile playing on her lips.

(A place where masks won’t work, where the wrong can be pointed out)

It was a fan signing event again and Jessica was determined to make things work in her favor. Giving herself an encouraging smile in her car reflection, Jessica followed Taeyeon as she walked into the building, screams filling the air as fans saw them enter.

Putting on a smile, Jessica waved to everyone before she took her seat next to Hyoyeon, smoothing down the front of her skirt. She glanced at her manager, who gave her a warm smile. 

Jessica nodded to herself. Let's do this.

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Sooooo......this was actually based on real life; poor little Sica was sad that everyone still judged her outside appearance and she looked extra adorable for their sign/fan meet so she could shed her ice princess title. C: