It takes awhile but by the time the party clears out, I’m left with only a few people helping out to clean my apartment.

Junjin and Eric were taking out the bigger piles of garbage outside while Dongwan laid face-down on the couch. Jaejoong and Yeonhee were packing up the leftovers in the kitchen and Yunho was washing some dishes with BoA by the sink. Only Jonghyun from the Kyu-Line stayed to help clean up because the other members were otherwise preoccupied. Changmin had already taken Yoona out on a late night ‘coffee’ run; Donghae and Kyuhyun drove the rest of SNSD home with Siwon and Nickhun in tow; Minho went home with Taemin and Sulli and Ryeowook… well, he said he other places to be. Though at 3AM, I’m sure all he means is an appointment with his bed.

“You’re really sweet for staying behind and cleaning,” I told Jonghyun as he picked up cups and stacked them together one by one. I had a broom and dustpan in hand, trailing behind him as I swept the floor free of chips and crumbs. I pushed the broom between his feet to shoo him off before continuing, “But it’s totally OK if you want to go home. I don’t want you to get into too much trouble with your manager if you’re groggy all day today for the lack of sleep and a hungover.”

“I’m just going to help you clear out the cups first before I head off, noona,” he replied, grinning from ear to ear as he shoved a stack of plastic cups into a garbage bag. “Besides since I’m the only non-SMTOWN member of Kyu-Line, I feel a little obligated to clear out the mess the rest of us made.”

“Your leader and other members are jerks for leaving you behind, but ah—to be in love!” I said dramatically, clasping a hand over my chest in feigned empathy. Jonghyun laughed with me a beat later—totally understanding what I meant with the phrase. It was a good night for the lovestruck members of Kyu-Line and while I might have had some distress over the idea of the party, I wouldn’t have changed any of the events that led to today if I could.

“Did any other girls strike your fancy tonight?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows as we set off to clear out another part of the living room. I could see Junjin talking to Eric to my far right. And while I should be anxious of this particular development (especially since he’d reminded me that he knew about my feelings for said leader), I couldn’t be bothered to head over and listen in. Instead, I focused on Jonghyun and his red-tipped ears.

“I asked Luna for her number earlier, if that counts,” Jonghyun replied, scratching at his ear to hide its redness. I blinked at him in suppressed glee, a smile making its’ way onto my lips as I poked him hard on the side. He yelped in surprise, his ears glowing even redder under direct light. He was embarrassed for admitting it, but it was also too cute to not about.

“Luna’s really sweet! I’m sure you two will hit it off perfectly!” I said, clapping him on the back. He smiled at my words and before I knew it, we’d already gone around the whole room and Jonghyun had already picked every last plastic cup.

He was just about to take the broom from me when I swatted his hands away and shook my head, giving him a mock-glare. “Stop it, Jonghyun. I want you to go home and rest,” I said, patting him on the back as I carefully pushed him towards the door. “Thanks for staying to clean up! I can take it from here.”

He couldn’t have been able to fight with me as I shoved him out the door, but he did thank me for accepting him warmly before heading towards the elevator.

Jonghyun is a really sweet kid. I’m glad there was at least one member of Kyu-Line who wasn’t embarrassing to know personally. Lord knows I’d probably end up facepalming at all the times Kyuhyun and the others spoke out of turn.

Anyway, the party was over and in a minute or so I can finally have some peace. And sleep.

I plan to sleep all day today after this crazy birthday night.

“Hey, we’re heading out!” Jaejoong spoke, drawing me out of my cleaning haze as he, Yeonhee, Yunho and BoA came out of the kitchen with identical smiles. Yunho had an arm around BoA and was handing Jaejoong his share of the leftovers when the latter finally reached me, gesturing towards the kitchen with a grin.

“The dishes are clean so you won’t have to worry about that after you finish sweeping up.” He said, patting my head. I shrug him off with a quick shake of my head and he laughed as I glared at him for ruining what was left of my ponytail. “We put your share of the leftovers in the fridge, though Jaejoong said you should probably feed it as breakfast to Junjin and Eric-hyung later.”

The fact that Jaejoong and Yunho were actually civil to each other is not lost on anyone—at least, as far as I can tell by the looks I share with Yeonhee and BoA between the two guys but I could care less to dissect the situation anymore than I already had the night before. Instead, I thank them for helping out before wrapping them into a giant group hug.

My members may not have been able to come to the party—but at least I had the rest of SMTOWN. That was more than enough.

“Thanks for coming, you guys. I’ll never throw a party ever again!” I said, waving them off as they laughed and saddled into the elevator all together. I watched as the elevator doors closed before turning back towards my quiet apartment—

Only, I was being blocked by a grinning Junjin, carrying sleeping (and drooling) Dongwan on his back.

I poked him on the stomach with a finger. “Oppa… could you move?”

“Oh, I will. I gotta take this drunkard home anyway,” He replied, nudging Dongwan’s face resting on his shoulder before gesturing back into my apartment. I could see Eric picking up where I left off from sweeping and my cheeks immediately colored at the realization that we would be alone together now that Junjin was leaving.

Oh .

“You guys don’t have to go, you know,” I begin, pulling him back inside with a frozen smile on my face. Junjin wasn’t going to have any of it though and stayed rooted in his spot by the door.

Damn it.

I started to panic, waving my hands in front of me. “Oppa—I can’t—I can’t be alone with—”

“Chill out, Jiyeon. Hyung won’t bite unless you tell him too.” He replied, waggling his eyebrows as I blushed even redder. Junjin pushed past me easily, ignoring my protests with a pat on my head.

All these taller people patting my head was getting really old fast. I swipe at his hand and all he does is laugh in response. Ugh.

“You’re annoying.” I deadpan, frowning though my eyes were pleading for him to stay.

“But you’ll thank me one day,” he countered before turning away in a jog before I can catch up and yell.

I would have followed if it wasn’t too obvious for the remaining person cleaning up in my apartment. If I’d just left, how could I have explained it to Eric? He was nice enough to stay even later to help. He didn’t have to do that really… I mean…

Why would he? Why was he still here?

“Hey, Jiyeon?”

My hands immediately clam up at the sound of his voice calling my name. I scramble into the apartment quickly, stumbling into him almost instantly at the speed I was going. Eric caught me easily in his arms, stabilizing my tumble with his weight against me. My heart sped up at our close contact and if he had noticed my body stiffening, he said nothing about it. Instead, he pulled me upright and onto my feet—pulling away just so with his hands over shoulders.

His hands were warm even through the layers of my blouse and jacket. My own hands itched to take one of them and just—

I blinked up at him, unsure of what to do before I remembered why I had rushed in the first place.

“You called? What is it?” I asked, trying to keep my voice from shaking even though my heart was going miles a minute as I walked past him to pick up pillows and start rearranging them on the couch. I had to keep my hands busy. I’d almost wanted to wrap my arms around him—something I hadn’t felt like doing with anyone since Yunho.

Damn damn damn damn this stupid crush of mine!

Eric stood quietly for a moment, looking at me while I worked before speaking again.

“I wanted to ask if you wanted coffee before I leave with Junjin, but since he already left—I don’t think there’s much point to it.”

He had a kind of shy expression on his face when I turned back to look at him. It was endearing to see on his handsome face. I couldn’t have stopped my heart from lurching in my chest if I tried since he really did look so good standing in the middle of my living room with that shy look on his features. I wondered briefly how it would be like if I saw him regularly like this…

It’d probably be really nice. His hands would be warm.

“You could have some coffee if you like.” I said, making my way towards the kitchen to pull out coffee grounds and filter paper. He followed me in quietly, watching from the door as I worked on getting the coffee maker running.

I’d just started to pull out a coffee mug for him when Eric suddenly reached over to take it from me and pull another one out. He gave me a smile as I started to protest, pulling chairs underneath the table and sitting on one before gesturing to the other. “Or you could have coffee with me. It’d be awkward if I’m the only one drinking, right?”

I felt a smile tug onto my lips at the suggestion. I nodded slowly, “Okay.”

Eric and I end up catching up over coffee, barely able to finish a single cup as our topics took us almost everywhere in the realm of conversation. I’d forgotten how well-spoken he was in private, sparking each topic with an engaging starting statement and just going forward without a care. He listened patiently as I tried to articulate myself in the subjects I was unfamiliar with and asked a lot over matters of mine he couldn’t quite get. It was comfortable, talking to him without the pretense of our idol ranks. It was nice.

Really nice in fact that it got a little harder to pretend that his proximity didn’t affect me.

And it did—a lot. Especially since our seats had gotten closer and closer as the night dwindled into actual morning.

“You know I never did get to answer your question.” He said out of nowhere, draining the last of his coffee in one huge gulp. It was already too cold, but he didn’t seem to care and I couldn’t find it in me to care either. His eyes twinkled as he looked back at me, confused for a second of what he was talking about. “Before we were interrupted by Junjin and Dongwan’s drunken accusations.”

“Ah,” I nodded, suddenly remembering, “You said it’d been a long time since we saw each other and then you started to say something else before getting cut off.”

“Right,” he replied, “I was going to say I’d wanted to see if you still looked the same.”

“What?” I laughed, my brow wrinkling in confusion. “I look older, if that’s what you mean.”

Eric shook his head. His gaze seemed to penetrate into my soul as we continued to look at each other. It was a little unnerving but I couldn’t look away. Then he reached over to brush the loose tendrils of hair past my cheek. His hands were still warm and they elicited sparks across my skin—I in a breath.

“You don’t actually. You still look the same.” His hand rested over my cheek, brushing his thumb against the skin of my cheek. His eyes riveted down to where I can only guess are my lips and I wetted them unconsciously with my tongue. His pupils dilated at that motion and when he looked back straight into my eyes, they were darker than before.

“I always thought you were the most beautiful in the company, you know.” He breathed, inching closer. If that was intentional, I couldn’t have known. Not that I cared anyway. I liked this closeness. I liked him telling me this.

I had to smile despite myself. And before I knew it, my hand had reacted and reached over to trace the line of his jaw. “I always thought you were pretty handsome too.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

We laughed together, tension filling the air slowly as he inched even closer and I touched his face.

“I was always so worried about how to approach you.”

“Me? You’re SHINHWA’s leader! If anyone was supposed to be worried about how to approach somebody, it should be me.”

He shook his head. “You don’t know the effect you have on me, to be honest,” he said, dragging his thumb across my lips this time. That was intentional. I could tell by the way he looked pointedly at me as if he was waiting for me to push him off, yell at him or both.

I would have neither of those things. I just wanted him to kiss me, and for some reason—he looked like he wanted the very same thing.

Oh good God, is this really happening?

“Are you going to kiss me soon or should I just wake up from this dream?”

Eric laughed aloud once I said this, cupping my cheek fully once the sound flittered into nothing. His eyes flitted down to my lips again before meeting mine, and with some kind of surge of confidence I tilted my face up to press our lips together. It was hardly anything at first but once our lips touched again for a second time, it changed into something deeper. His free hand reached over to cup my face closer to his, deepening the kiss with a resolute press of his tongue.

Our mouths opened simultaneously at that point, and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why I’d been so anxious to be alone with him in the first place.

Junjin was right. I really would be thanking him later.

The kiss ended as sweetly as it had began, our lips pulling apart slower than necessary. His arms were around in a beat, pulling me as close as our chairs allowed. I made a mental note to send Junjin a fruit basket later today, but for now I was going to hold on to Eric awhile longer.

This was something, whatever it was, and for intents and purposes I wanted to keep it.

I told him as such a second later, pulling my head up to look at him with a bright smile.

“You can be pretty bossy when you wanna be.” He said, shaking his head in disbelief though his arms never let up around me. “You’re lucky I’ve liked you for so long though.”

“Same here,” I replied, burying my face closer to neck. “So you agree? About keeping this—whatever it is?”

A chuckle rumbled out of his throat. “Yeah.” He agreed, “Do I have to worry about any exes? Yunho?”

“Yunho-who?” I deadpanned and he laughed again, pulling me to him even closer than before.

Hours later I would meet my members, Stephanie, Dana and Sunday for a belated birthday lunch. They ask me to tell them all about the party they missed as I turned another year older, and all I do is reply with a smile.

“I owe it to Kyu-Line,” I begin and they grin despite themselves, unsure of what to make of it.

“It gets better.” I assure them and it does.

They’re laughing their heads off by the time I finish, congratulating me and teasing and I take it all in stride.

Why wouldn’t I?

I’m another year older and loving it.

E N D

Thanks for reading my first crack short story! :D