For every time that they want to count you out
Use your voice every single time you open up your mouth

After constantly moving around the continental United States for the last 7 years, “furious” doesn’t even begin to describe Tiffany’s reaction to her father’s news that they are moving again in the middle of her senior year. In fact, she’s a little embarrassed by the tantrum she throws, but it winds up working in her favor when she gets a Visa gift card and uses it to buy the dramas she’s been wanting. Plus her father promises to buy her the new pink bedroom set she’s been wanting (beanie chair, curtains, bedspread and shag throw rug, plus a few rose-shaped pillows).

“You’ll be in college in a few months,” her father reminds her. “And then you can live anywhere you want, Princess.”

So they move from Miami—which is a shame, because Tiffany was really starting to like it there—back to California. They’re moving to San Francisco, several miles up the coast from where Tiffany grew up, but it’s the city she was born in, so it feels kind of fitting to finish High School there. They move into a gated community filled with the kind of houses that Chihuahuas get lost in, the kind that come with pools in the backyard, grand entry ways, six bathrooms and five bedrooms.

Tiffany has lived in some pretty grand neighborhoods but they were mostly fancy apartments and connected houses, nothing like this. When she sees the house she realizes that this is where her dad wants to put down his roots—it’s the kind of home he talked about wanting his grandchildren to spend the weekend at. Then she’s mad again because he couldn’t have decided to settle down four years ago?!

She has two choices for her new school—the zoned public school, or a smaller private school. Her father takes her to both to see which one she likes more, and she’s not all that impressed by the private school. When they pull up to the public school and the first thing they see is someone’s backpack flying out a third floor window, Tiffany decides she’ll deal with not being impressed.

The school welcomes her with open arms, probably looking solely at her long list of Important Academic Institutions and ignoring her absolutely horrible history and math grades. She is told that most students have two ‘exit projects,’ but seeing as she hasn’t been around for most of the year she’ll only have to do one for her English class. It’s not that bad, all things considered, and she’s pretty good at writing papers. As long as it’s English and not History, she can deal.

On her first day (Monday of all the cursed days) Tiffany arrives ridiculously early and spends all her time before homeroom tracking down her classrooms, so that when the time comes to go to a different class she’s not running around lost and looking stupid. At 8:30 she dashes to her homeroom and her teacher stops her just as she opens the door.

“Ah, Stephanie Hwang!”

Tiffany hides a wince. The woman has butchered her last name, she sounds like she’s neighing like a horse on the ‘a’. Not a lot of students are present yet but the ones that are look up with interest.

“I prefer Tiffany,” she says with a smile. “If that’s alright.”

“Tiffany!” The woman cries. “How sweet! Well if you wouldn’t mind introducing yourself once class starts…”

Tiffany beams. “Of course.” Because what is she going to say? No, I’d rather stab myself in the eye with a carrot than stand up in front of the room and tell everyone what they obviously already know—I’m the new girl and yes it is weird for me to be switching schools now!

After she goes through the horrible process of standing in front of 20 teenagers who could care less about her life story, Tiffany is permitted to take a seat in the back next to a blonde girl named Kimberly.

“You poor thing,” Kimberly clucks as Tiffany sits down. “Moving in the middle of your senior year…did you at least get something good out of it? Oh, and call me Kim please, Kimberly sounds like a politician’s wife’s name.”

Tiffany relaxes. Kim seems nice enough, maybe she can make a friend for the 5 months she’ll be at this school.

“I got some new furniture for my room,” Tiffany says. “Not a bad trade, I can take it to college with me.”

Kim nods. “Smart thinking. I love your shoes, by the way.”

The school requires a uniform, but shoes can be any kind as long as they’re black and don’t have a heel higher than 1 inch. Tiffany is wearing sparkly ballet flats.

“Thank you,” she beams. “I love your eye shadow, it really makes your eyes pop.” And she does have very pretty blue eyes.

They compare schedules and are disappointed to find that they only share two classes—English and History of Economics, and they don’t even have the same lunch period since Kim is in AP Math.

The rest of the day is a special kind of torture. Tiffany races to her classes so she can talk to her teachers before class starts and ask them to call her name as Tiffany, not Stephanie, and make sure that they know how to say her last name. She curses the bad luck not to have an easy name like Park or Lee. Of all the names in South Korea…

Then of course, there’s lunch. Tiffany didn’t dare bring her own—if there was one thing she learned from middle school it’s the ones who bring lunch on the first day are forever marked out for being too poor to afford lunch or else must have an allergy to anything that’s not made by mommy dearest. Not that it really matters, Tiffany isn’t going to sit with any of these kids, she’s going to find a nice corner table and read by herself.

As she stands on line waiting to pay for her food, Tiffany scans the tables for empty spaces. She makes three sweeps of the room before she spots one in a corner next to the water fountain. There’s another girl sitting there with her head buried in a book, light brown curls covering her face and largely invisible to the rest of the room.

‘Good,’ Tiffany thinks. ‘We can read quietly and be invisible together.’

The girl never looks up from her book as Tiffany approaches, and even when she stands directly in front of the table Tiffany has to clear to get her attention.

“Ah, excuse me?”

The girl jerks her head up and looks at Tiffany in shock. Tiffany’s pretty sure that she’s also Korean and briefly wonders if she’s so startled because English isn’t her first language.

“Is anyone sitting here?” She asks, gesturing toward the only other seat at the table.

The girl shakes her head and absently brushes her bangs back a bit.

“Would you mind if I sit?”

After a brief hesitation the girl shakes her head once again.

Tiffany offers her the biggest, brightest smile she can muster. “Thank you.”

And they spend the entire period in silence, each girl lost in her own book. Tiffany glances up occasionally, hoping to catch the girl’s eye and perhaps ask her name, but she never gets the opportunity.

Tuesday and Wednesday’s lunch period pass in a similar manner, but on Thursday Tiffany finally plucks up the courage to open .

“I’m Tiffany by the way.” She says it very offhandedly, almost straining to be casual.

“Jessica,” the girl responds.

Tiffany almost sighs in relief because finally she has a name besides “Quiet Lunch Table Partner” and she now knows that this girl does in fact understand English. However there’s a sense of finality in her voice so Tiffany makes no other move to speak.

The last period of that day is Tiffany’s first gym class. There’s only two sections for gym, since it’s got about 40 people per class and it’s separated by gender. Sadly, Kim isn’t in her section so once again Tiffany is on her own. She’s not all that good at sports and resigns herself to being a pariah.

Nevertheless, Tiffany speeds down to the locker room, already having been warned by Kim that the changing stalls fill up fast. Kim also told her that Ms. Parker would eat her alive if she didn’t have approved sneakers, so Tiffany is careful to remember those too. The gym uniform is surprisingly comfortable, blue sweat pants and a red shirt (long sleeved or short sleeved, and Tiffany chose short sleeved). She considers using it as lounge wear when she goes to college.

Once she’s changed and her bag is stowed in a locker, Tiffany goes to introduce herself to Ms. Parker.

“Well Tiffany,” Ms. Parker says, “In this class we take attendance with floor spots, meaning everyone has a spot on the floor and they sit according to alphabetical order. Now, Hwang…” she muses. “Well there’s no ‘I’ name in this class, so you’ll be between Ms. Katherine Henry and Ms. Jessica Jung.”

Tiffany whirls around and spots Jessica-the-lunch-partner and has to resist the urge to squeal. She skips over and plops herself down in front of Jessica.

“Hi there!” she says brightly. Once again Jessica jerks her head up and stares at Tiffany in shock.

“It’s so nice to know someone here,” Tiffany tells her. “Let me tell you I would die if I was standing off by myself like a total loser, bad enough to be the new girl but not have any friends is just embarrassing, you know?”

Jessica stares at Tiffany with that same shocked look on her face. But then…

“Yeah,” she says with a smile. “I know what you mean.”

It’s then that Tiffany notices how quiet the room had gotten, and the girls all seem to be huddled in groups and whispering.

“Turn and face front,” Jessica whispers. “We’re about to start.” She doesn’t say another word for the rest of the class, but she stays close to Tiffany.

At the end of the day Tiffany finds herself the subject of many curious glances from her classmates as they all walk out together, but she writes it off as typical behavior towards the new kid. However when those looks increase the next day, and that’s just in the locker room, Tiffany has to admit that something is fishy.

Kim corners her as she exits the locker room and drags her all the way to the third floor, pulling her into a bathroom. “Okay,” Kim says seriously. “How do you know Jessica?”

“What?” Tiffany deadpans.

Kim sighs in frustration. “Like, were you friends beforehand, or did you just meet her this week?”

“Just this week,” Tiffany says, bewildered. “Why do you ask?”

“Because,” Kim blurts, “Everyone is talking about it!”

“Hold up,” Tiffany says, raising her hands. “I’m getting weird looks because I talked to Jessica in gym? I’ve had lunch with her every day this week and nobody said to me!”

She winces at the curse, normally she’s not very foulmouthed (in public) but Kim doesn’t seem to care.

“Whoa, you had lunch with her?” She gasps. “Did she talk to you?”

“No,” Tiffany says. “Why?”

Kim suddenly looks very uneasy. “Well um…didn’t you say you grew up in California?” She asks sharply. “When did you move?”

“About seven years ago,” Tiffany says. “In March.”

Kim pales. “Oh…then you really don’t know.” She sighs and covers her face. “Okay, you didn’t hear it from me but…seven years ago, in August, Jessica was the main suspect in the death of her babysitter.”

Tiffany gapes at Kim. “What the hell? Don’t even joke about that, that’s sick.”

“It’s true!” Kim insists. “The Jung family was having a barbeque, and they invited this chick over. She went into the house to get Jessica out and then five minutes later Jessica ran outside screaming saying that the girl had fallen down the stairs. By the time the ambulance got there she was already dead. Jessica was the only witness and the cops suspected that this girl had been pushed down the stairs, not fallen on her own.”

Tiffany’s blood runs cold. “Oh my god…they thought Jessica did it? But she would have been…ten years old!”

Kim nods. “I know! It was totally nuts, and we all basically grew up together, well those of us on this side of town anyway, but even people across town knew about it. Anyway, the thing never went to trial and the cops were pretty mum on it but they said that there was insufficient evidence and Jessica was not going to have it on any kind of record, but they never said if the girl was really pushed or not. When she went back to school Jessica didn’t say a word about it, in fact for a long time she stopped talking altogether, and it made her look really suspicious. Mostly people just ignore her but some still think she did it and…they can be pretty mean.”

A small part of Tiffany is pretty angry because Kim’s making it sound like she’s downplaying it a lot. “So let me guess, I’m the talk of the town because I’m friends with her now?”

Kim flinches. “I just wanted to warn you. Like I said, kids can be mean around here. It’s better you heard it from a friend rather than someone else.”

Tiffany closes her eyes and breathes deeply. “Right, you’re right.” She opens her eyes and manages a small smile. “Thanks Kim.”

Kim nods. “I’m going to go to homeroom. You wanna come?”

“No,” Tiffany says quietly. “I think I need a minute.”

Kim pats her arm on her way out. When the door closes Tiffany turns and leans her head against the mirror. She can feel a headache and it’s only 8:25 in the morning…

She hears a lock click and whirls around, watching in horror as Jessica slowly slips out of the last stall in the bathroom. Both girls freeze and stare at each other. Then Jessica seems to shake herself and she calmly walks up to the sink, washes her hands and proceeds to walk out.

“Jessica wait,” Tiffany calls, wincing as her voice echoes around the room. “I mean, please,” she says in a softer tone. “I—”

“Look,” Jessica interrupts. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought you knew.”

Tiffany feels like she just swallowed a bunch of ice cubes. “I…I…”

“You’ll be late to homeroom if you don’t hurry,” Jessica says quietly. Then she leaves, and this time Tiffany can think of nothing to make her stop.

The bell goes off but instead of going to homeroom, Tiffany goes to the nurse.

‘Ah,’ she thinks triumphantly as she peaks through the window. ‘A male nurse. Perfect.’

She barges right in, making the man jump. His name plate says Dr. James Choi.

“Oh!” He says in surprise. “Um, do you have a note from your teacher miss?”

“No,” Tiffany says, holding her stomach. “I have really bad cramps, I came right here.”

Dr. Choi seems to be fighting a blush and likewise, Tiffany has to fight to keep a straight face. This is almost too easy.

“Well um…do you have Tylenol?” He stammers.

“No,” Tiffany groans, sinking into a chair. “Do you have any?”

“I’m not permitted to give medication to students…”

Of course he isn’t, she knows that as well as the next person. Tiffany doubles over, playing it up to the fullest. “Ugh…I’m dying.”

She hears him shuffle over to a cabinet. “What was your name? I can call a parent.”

Tiffany grins into her knees. Works every time.

Her father rushes to get her and Tiffany starts whining the second they get out of school. “You promised to get me Tylenol!”

“I know,” he says quickly. “I’m sorry, Princess. I did get some on my way over, you can take it as soon as you get home and you can spend the rest of the day in bed watching Rainbow Romance.”

Tiffany feels a little bad for lying, but she does honestly feel awful, though she refuses to let herself dwell until after she’s safe and sound in her bed. Only then does she curl up and cry.

She feels like the worst person on Earth, because now she knows what happened. Jessica was shy around her because she hadn’t had a real friend in seven years. Jessica thought that Tiffany knew she’d been accused of a crime and wanted to be her friend anyway, and now she probably thought that Tiffany wanted nothing to do with her anymore, which was not…

Tiffany sits up and brushes her tears away. Is it not true? Murder is a very serious crime to be accused of…then Tiffany slaps herself across the face.

“Ouch,” she mutters, but she deserves it.

Tiffany pushes herself up and turns to her computer, Googling the San Francisco Times and from there typing in the keywords Jessica Jung. However she forgot that papers were not allowed to print the names of minors accused of crimes, so instead she looks up Murder August 2001. She reads every article they have, and then she also scours the local papers. They all seem to conform to what Kim said—the charges were dropped and nothing more was said on the crime. The only new information she gets is on  the victim, Sophia Martin, who was living alone following the death of her grandmother, who raised her.

Well, Tiffany muses, if the police didn’t find enough evidence to charge Jessica with a crime, then there really shouldn’t have been any more fuss on the matter. Even if Jessica had done something, she was ten years old at the time. What harm could a scrawny, ten year old girl do? Sophia was her babysitter, perhaps they were just playing and an accident occurred. Seven years was a long time, and Jessica hadn’t been accused of anything else so there is no reason to assume she is dangerous.

Innocent until proven guilty, Tiffany thinks to herself. Jessica had never been proven guilty, therefore she is innocent.

Tiffany doesn’t see Jessica until lunch on Monday. She can feel two thirds of the cafeteria watching her as she gets off the line, but she determinedly keeps her expression neutral, and the slight square to her shoulders is the only difference in her posture. Jessica looks up in surprise when Tiffany sits across from her.

“You know, I just realized over the weekend that you’re in my English class,” she says conversationally. “I was thinking about it and it was like ‘Whoa! Mr. Banks calls your name in attendance right after mine.’ I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection before.”

She bites into her pizza-stick. Jessica clears .

“About what Kim said to you on Friday…” she starts, but Tiffany holds up her hand.

“Hang on,” she mumbles, chewing quickly and swallowing too soon. The lump in makes her eyes tear but she presses on. “You don’t have to explain anything to me if you don’t want to. I won’t pressure you into that.” She looks away and fans herself, blinking back pained tears. “Oh god I look like I’m crying…I’m upset over how much food I eat.”

Jessica snorts and Tiffany looks up to see her holding a hand to to muffle her giggles.

“You are so strange,” Jessica says after a minute.

Tiffany grins. “Yeah but aren’t we all?”

Jessica’s smile looks like it could power all of San Francisco. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

They grin at each other for a few seconds before Tiffany remembers another thing she wants to bring up.

“So…Jung,” Tiffany muses. “That’s a Korean name, right?”

“Yep,” Jessica says. “But I was born here in San Francisco. What about you?”

“Well as it turns out I was also born in san Francisco, but then my family moved down to Diamond Bar.”

They talk about family trips to Korea and find out that they share a mutual love for dramas and the gorgeous leader of SS501.

“Kim Hyun-joong is just amazing!” Jessica gushes. “Oh my god I would give anything to see him in person, to see all of them in person!”

“I know,” Tiffany sighs. “That’s my biggest regret about living here, I might never get to see them. I’m hoping we can plan a trip back around the time of their first concert.”

“Take me with you!” Jessica cries. “I’m petite, I can squeeze into your suitcase. Oh, better yet you can put me in a large dog crate and I’ll just bark really loudly so the TSA agents don’t come near me.”

Tiffany can’t help it, she bursts out laughing. It’s loud and obnoxious, and there’s no way everyone in the cafeteria can’t hear her. But she doesn’t care, let them see that Jessica has a friend. Let them see that it doesn’t bother her at all to have their eyes on her.

This is going to be four parts plus an Epilogue