"Hyuuuung~ you got a post!" Zelo, the maknae shouted and wagged a peach colored envelope. Himchan who lay on the floor right after he entered the dorm, looked up and yawned. 

"A fan mail?" Yongjae, another B.A.P. member, asked. Zelo shrugged and threw the envelop to Himchan like a Frisbee.

Himchan lazily caught it and put a frown as he analyzed it.

"Wah! It's from New Jersey! America!" Jongup pointed out.

Himchan grinned, "See how popular I'm already, you guys never had a foreign fan letter before, don't you?"

He joked a bit with his fellow members and after Yongguk, the leader of the group scolded them for being so loud, when He and Daehyun who were technically dead and lay at the couch, couldn't sleep.

Right after they apologized, Jonggup nudged Himchan and looked impatiently at him. "Open it, hyung! Open it!"

Himchan nodded and revealed a peach colored paper. His curiosity was as big as the other members. 

Dear Himchan-oppa,

When you read this, you probably had made your debut with B.A.P already. I pray that you’ll be successful and content with your current situation.

How are you? Don’t forget to eat properly. The fans won’t like an unhealthy and ill Himchan, neither I.

“It’s from her,” Himchan whispered painfully. The circular dot over her ‘i’, and the small heart she draw instead of an ordinary dot… how could he not recognize her writing. He heaved a sigh and bit his bottom lips. “It’s from her.”

Pain filled in his heart. His hands clenched into a fist and quickly pulled the nearest chair he could reach to settle himself down. Before he continued reading, he briefly peeked at a trash can, in case he couldn’t control his emotions and screw the paper up.

Please don’t throw this away…

“Tch,” he put the letter down and laughed. “You know me too well, Yejin.”

…at least read until the end. I beg you.

I hope you’re free right now, because I’d like to undergo our past once again. Let me lead you to our time line, okay?

It will only be inside of the town. Are you ready?

Himchan raised an eyebrow. He took a deep breath and he realized the others were still in the living room. None of them looked at Himchan, but he knew they were eavesdropping to him. His ex-girlfriend wanted him to go to places and he was not in the mood of scuffing around, but letting his friends watching his every move wasn’t an acceptable optional either, so he took his mantel, a small rucksack, some left over money and exited with a wave to the others.

Station 1:

Bus stop to Seoul’s train station – don’t forget to take your money with you.

As he opened the door the cold wind blew to his face, like tiny needles rudely pierced onto his face. He reached out his hand to catch a snowflake and wended his way.

He didn’t have to wait too long until an empty bus stopped in front of Himchan. He shoved the paper inside of his rucksack and quickly bought a ticket to Seoul’s train station. There was a wide choice of seats and he chose the last row on the right next to the window. He opened rucksack and unfolded the small adorned piece of paper.

Are you asking yourself why you should take a public transportation, such as a bus instead of a taxi? If you haven’t forgotten it, we first met in a bus.

I had my duty to finish a protocol and the deadline was set up earlier. Fortunately, the city library was open. Actually I’ve planned to leave at exact seven pm, as you know the buses only stopped once in the afternoon, but I couldn’t finish my report even though I stayed until the library closed.

If I had a laptop at home, I wouldn’t have been that stressed out, I thought. Then again, if I did have a laptop at home, I wouldn’t have gone to the library at the first place which means I wouldn’t have met you. I would’ve never thought that one day I’ll be happy I didn’t buy a laptop. It’s all thanked to you.

I walked to the bus stop with my black cote hugging me. From my point of view, it was one of the coldest nights in October. Soon the bus arrived and I entered it, glad that the bus had a heater inside.

Do you remember how panicked I was, when I realized I didn’t bring my purse with me? I still feel uncomfortable every time I go by bus.

“Silly you, of course I do.” Himchan laughed at the memory of her searching for something she could pay with. She ransack her bag, her jacket and jeans pocket, but she was fruitless. The bus driver gave her a deathly glare and Yejin’s cheeks turned into a tomato. Despite this embarrassing situation, Himchan found her cute.

His Angel inside of him had demanded him, to take actions. He had risen up from his seat, gave the bus driver money and smiled amusingly at Yejin.

He shook incredulously head. “How did I fell in love with you, huh?”  

I’m sure, he was going to throw me out, but suddenly somebody paid for me.

It was you, Himchan. Do you remember?

Call it naive, call it stupid, just call it what you want. I knew it was love at first sight. Thank you for helping me out, Channie. Thank you.

You’ve left a big mark at my heart. Do you know I’ve visited the library everyday at the same time in hope, I could meet you again? I wanted to know who you are, seeing you would’ve been enough for me though.

Himchan only needed five stops to get to his destination station. He looked around him and breathed in the sharp chilly air.

And then we met at the small unknown lounge at the train station. I was very excited, that I’ve missed my train in order to greet you and express my gratitude to you. It started with a simple small talk; however it ended with a deep friendship.

Now the next station;

Station 2:

Joel’s Lounge

A small chuckle slipped of his mouth. He knew how many steps he needed to come to that lounge like the back of his hand.

Joel’s Lounge became our usual spot, the only place where you can boy an ice cream, while it’s snowing heavily outside with no end.

It snowed harder and Himchan had to blink a few times to clear his view, due to the amount of snow which prevented him from walking properly. He hid the letter inside of his pocket, to save it from the wet snow.

 “Finally”, he muttered as he opened the door to the train station. Even with his thick cloth, a wool scarf and his winter gloves, he could feel his bones suffering from the temperature. Himchan then hurried to Joel’s Lounge.

Will you do me a favor? Will you buy my favorite flavor? I hope you still know my favorite order.

He grinned. “Only an ignorant boyfriend wouldn’t know it.”

The letter was changed from his right to his left hand, so he could search for some changes in his right jeans pocket.

“One baked ice cream with 1/3 chocolate, mango and vanilla, please.”  

Yes, you guessed right! 1/3 chocolate, mango and vanilla! I really love this! Don’t forget to double your payment, since it was a special order!

“Here you go,” the waiter said, giving Himchan a plate. “Anything else?”

“No thanks.” Himchan paid and then searched for a place. He seated himself on dark blue leather sofa.

We’ve met a few times here as friends, and after a year, we were officially a couple. I won’t ever forget Joel’s Lounge. We’ve talked a lot about our future, our dreams and our hopes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand about my condition.

All along I’ve known there won’t be an us in your future. I only wrote your future, because by the time you read this, I’ve already left this earth.

I’ve already left this earth.

I’ve already left this earth.

I’ve already left this earth.

Those words echoed in Himchan’s head.

“She… left…” His voice cracked and his heart stopped beating. He buried his face under his hands and breathed fitfully. His parents and friend have already told him about Yejin's funeral, but somehow his heart didn't accept the fact that she's dead now. His heart still couldn't understand, but now, after his one and only Love wrote it with her own hands, his mind went completely blank. 

“No,” he tried to hold back his tears, and hindered some from falling down from his wet eyes. He didn't cry at all as his sister told him the news, and he won't do it in that little lounge. At least not right now. 

Himchan tried to calm his feelings and wiped his tears with a tissue.

There was a fight inside of me; shouldn’t I tell you? Should I hide it? I know I shouldn’t have approached you at all. I should’ve had let you live in your world and never appear again. I should’ve had back off so you can live better.

Really, I’m sincerely sorry for being egoistic to you. I’ve used you so that I could taste a little bit of happiness. I though it’s better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all.  

Are you upset? I will understand. 

I am the most selfish person in the world. Maybe I even hope that you’ll become furious with me.

“Wha- the letter ended?!” Himchan abruptly jumped off the sofa and turned the letter again and again. The letter did end like that. The ‘t’ was stretch and it seemed as if the writer lost the power to continue writing. Himchan ruffled his hands due to frustration.

“How can you end like this?” Himchan whispered. He packed his stuff and left Joel’s Lounge with a grim and confused face.

A/N: *sigh* does it sound boring? It does, right? Please tell me what you think... the next chapter will (hopefully) be better. GIF is not mine, credit to the owner!!