You couldn’t help but cry.

This cupid life was not what you wanted. Life felt so unfulfilling and you knew you were always going to want more and you also knew the shower water washed your tears away and hide them. 

But you continued to cry. Even after you were dressed you cried.

“Stupid Cupid?” Tao calls. “You ok?” But you don’t answer.

“You ok?” he peaks into the bathroom and you wonder what would’ve happened if you were still .

“Yeah,” you look away from him. “I’m ok,” you wipe away your useless tears.

“Hey you wonna talk?” he walks in, kneeling in front of you as you’re seated on the toilet cover.

“No,” you look down at him but he’s got a soft smile on his lips. You wonder why he even bothers with you sometimes. “You already know what it is,” you wipe more tears, feeling so pathetic like he states many times.

“It’s ok, I’ll listen again,” he thumbs away tears falling from your cheek.

“Ha,” you say with a sarcastic smile, pulling his hand away.

“I will,” Tao holds your small hand in his.  “I promise,” he pulls you into a hug.

“Thanks Tao,” you exhale over his shoulder, really glad Tao was comforting you.

“I’m afraid I’ll never really be happy if I don’t have love,” you say bundled up in a ball with Tao lying next to you on his bed.  

“What does love have to do with you?” he looks up at the ceiling.  “Hmm? You don’t have it now and you’re happy?” his eyes shift over to you. 

“When I’m not thinking of love yes I’m happy,”  you hated sounding like a broken record but love is all you could think about.

“Then stop thinking of it,” he flicks you on head.

“Tao,” you whine, trying to flick him back but he grabs hold of your arms.

“Sorry," he laughs.

"That really hurt!" you growl at him. 

"Sorry,” he pulls you close and rubs the spot he flicked. “If it helps, I would give you my love in a heartbeat. You’re cute,” he chuckles and a heart floats in the air. You're eyes look up at the heart and then you see another one. 

"You’re kind, you’re caring and most of all you’re stupid,” he pinches your nose, smiling at you.

“You would?” you were surprised - you didn't know Tao thought of you this way. 

“Of course I give you my love,” he smiles, face turning a soft red through his tan skin.  

You waited for something to happen with those words, with those hearts.. anything! but nothing happens so you force a smile on your lips.

“Thanks Tao, that means a lot.”

“Yeah so stop thinking about it now!” he flicks your head again.

“Tao!” you whine, pulling on his ear lobe.

"Well do you like him?" Luhan and Xiumin ask, completely engaged in your story. 

"I don't know - I mean we're friends like I'm friends with you two," you weren't exactly sure how to explain this feeling of not exactly feeling anything at all. 

"Well how do you feel about us?" 

"You two?" you stare wide eyed, never having to answer such a question before. "Well i like that you guys hang out with me, and that you guys are nice and fun and you guys make me laugh and you know," you felt shy for a second there. 

"And do you feel the same with Tao?" Xiumin asks. 

and you thought it funny how these two are hearing this story for the first time but already their minds are in sync that they already know what they are trying to get out of you. 

"Yes i feel the same for him as i do for you two, nothing more." 

"Well did you see the hearts and stuff?" 

"Do you think he's cute?" 

"Is he cuter than us?" 

and the questions came as an overload and you weren't exactly sure what they were trying to get out of you now. 

"I am going to meditate. Anyone want to come?" Tao asks, the three of you are super quiet just watching him walk across the room and out the door. "I'll take that as a no?" he stands at the door. 

“You do this often?” you close your eyes, sitting up tall, arms raised above your head. You inhale the freshness of the forest, feeling relaxed.

“Stop asking questions,” Tao hushes you. You peek your eyes and you see him in the same pose as you, deep breathing.

You can do this, you tell yourself.

“What is life without love?”

its ok, you exhale. You’ve never felt it and so far the happiness you feel with Luhan, Suho and Xiumin is quite great. You remember how happy you were during dinners, during movies, during walks and there you didn’t think of love. In fact you didn’t even really care for love right now. You just remembered the idea of love but in this very moment you didn’t crave it.

“AHH! LUHAN!” Xiumin yells and then all those thoughts of love flowed through your mind again.

“UGH!” Tao stands up. “How did you guys even find this place!?”

“We didn’t!” Luhan wraps his arms around Xiumin, lifting him up a bit.

“We were just taking a walk!” Xiumin explains laughing in his boyfriends arm.

“Great,” you exhale in annoyance.  

“Some where Luhan and Xiumin won’t me,” you tell yourself --- you need to practice how to get rid of these thoughts.  You walk along a long road through the forest and then you remembered your wings.

DUH!

You fly and fly until you find a perfect spot. A smile sets on your lip and you land. From the road and down the steep hill you see a perfect place, surrounded by those pretty purple forest flowers and a flat rock.

“Wonder if Tao would approve of this place,” you ask yourself. “Oh well,” you smile, taking a step of fly up but --- ‘AHHH!” you step into a small hole in the ground, stumbling down the hill.

Roll and roll and roll, you fall onto your back, seeing a large rock moving down the hill. As you rush to stand, you feel a sharp pain in your thigh. Looking down, your jeans begin to turn red and that rock isn't slowing down. You get ready to take flight but it was too late.

Your wings pinned between rock and tree.

You didn’t want love now. You just didn’t want to be alone. You just wanted to see Luhan smile and eat hot pot every night if it meant getting away from here. You wouldn’t mind Tao lecturing you nor eating cupcakes every day if it meant getting away from here.

“LUHAN!!” you shout. “TAO!!!” but of course no one hears, and the pain in your thigh burns. You wished you were that dead tree that Tao revived. You didn’t want to feel anything right now.

Darkness casts over the night and as you shiver through the night, you couldn't believe NOT thinking of love put you in this situation... wtf... you're hopeless, still slowly bleeding out by your thigh and things began to blur and dimmed and everything in between.

Until you saw a light.

A light so blue, only your eyes couldn’t tell if it were real or not.

“Hi,” his voice echoes faintly, as his thin frame comes closer. “I’m here to save you,” his boyish smile and silver hair sketches in your mind.

“From what?” You ask, wondering if this was the end for you and if this is even real.

“From whatever you like,” he smiles. “You’ve bled enough, you’ve hurt enough and most of all you’ve found love.”

Found love? Those words lost to you.

“Just close your eyes,” you feel his warm hand on your cheek. “Just close your eyes,” he smiles.

The chattering wakes you up to a white room. You’re body felt lighter and as lift your head onto the headboard, the boys are in the room.

You see Tao’s tired but worried face.

You see Luhan's cute smile.

You see Xiumin's chubby cheeks.

BUT you couldn’t see the hearts floating around them.

“Did you guys break up?” you ask focusing hard on the two of them and you were just a bit sad if they did break up.

“OMG you’re awake!” Tao rushes to your side. "You feeling ok?" 

“Yeah I’m fine,” you try to sit up, but he pushes you down put.

“Just don’t want you to hurt yourself,” he smiles with tired eyes.

“I’m ok,” You look up at him then back to Luhan and Xiumin on your other side. “Did you guys break up?”

“No why?” Xiumin asks taken aback.

You blink a few times in a row but still no hearts.

You rub your eyes in many circles but still no hearts.

“You ok?” Tao places a hand on yours and a wave of chills run up your spine.

“I think something is wrong with me,” you freak out. “Can you call Suho please!”

“I can’t see any hearts and my bow and arrow are missing,” you say in a hush whisper, not wanting doctors or nurses to hear or know your true identity. 

“Isn’t that good?” Suho smiles brightly. 

“No,” you were still freaked out. “I don’t know what the hell is going on.”

“Maybe what ever happened to you in the forest, took away your cupid powers,” Suho smile, with an envy in his eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember anything happening other than being pinned between a rock and tree,” a shiver runs up your spine with that thought. You never want to be there again. ever. 

As darkness casts once more, you were almost afraid to be alone. But you act brave. 

"You sure? I can stay you know," Tao reassures you. 

"Yeah i'll be ok."

"Ok call me if you change your mind ok."

"Yeah call us too," Xiumin says.

"Thanks guys," you smile, really feeling just a bit brave. 

“Hey," Suho enters your room with a bright smile.

"Hey," you smile happy to see him. 

"How you feeling?"

"I'm ok and you?" you watch him sit on your hospital bed. 

"I'm ok," he smiles. "I got something for you,” Suho hands you a mug. 

"No coffee?" you whimper. 

"Of course," he pulls another cup from his favorite coffee shop where he's at many mornings. 

“Aww coffee!” you smile widely. “The kind you like right?”

“Yup,” his eyes turn thin into a smile. “And some coffee crumb cake.”

“Aw thanks Suho,” you were starting to feel better about your situation.

“Well I’m gonna head out, just wanted to see you before I go to work.”

“Thanks Suho, I’m really glad you came.”

“Me too,” he gives you a hug and you feel a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach but detaches his arms from you. “I’ll see you later ok,” he winks at you. 

“Yup see you then,” you wave feeling shy suddenly as he starts for the door.

“Oh," he stops suddenly.  "Tao is here too - uh well out there," he points to the door. 

“Oh really?” you feel a smile cross your lips.

“Yeah,” Suho smiles at you largely.

“Tell him to come in then,” an unnerving feeling grows inside of you.

“Will do,” Suho stands outside of your room. “She’s ready for you,” he tells Tao.

“Thanks man,” Tao smiles back and walks in.

As Suho walks down the hall, he's envious. He knew things had changed for you and he's glad - for you. He smiles to himself now for he can see the hearts floating from your particular room. 

--------- 

so yeah short & sweet! hope you guys enjoyed it! also thinking about writing a short SuChen story to fill in on what happens with Suho and his cupid adventures and mishaps. ^^ 

happy vday!