“I was going to tell you sooner… I couldn’t bring myself to it but I know it’s too late now.

 I moved again. This time I’m trying to fulfill my dream. I want to be performer and this company ensured me so. They said with some sort of training, I’d make it out there. Now they’re telling me I could be in a group and even compose songs and write lyrics for them. Isn’t that amazing?

Then I remembered you. It’s weird because after they told me that, you were the first person to pop up in my head. I remembered how you inspired me, somehow, to do much more with my writing. Your passion for it was amazing and your constant pickiness towards your own writing made realize how I need to strive for the best. And that’s what I’m doing for making this decision.

I’m sorry for leaving without telling you. Please forgive me. I tried telling you for a while now but I was a coward. I couldn’t bring myself to it. I feel stupid for prolonging everything and now I can never see you again. Forgive me for leaving because I can’t forgive myself. Just know that I will always keep you in my mind. You will be my source for inspiration.

Thank you. Thank you for befriending me the first time I came up here. I wouldn’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t met you. I can’t thank you enough. You made me laugh more than anyone else. I love you for that. I love you and I will always will. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner and it hurts. But I want to achieve my goal and I believe that doing this is what my heart tells me to do. I hope you understand.

-Yongguk”

You stared at the tear stained paper, trying to comprehend what you just read. What did it mean? This was a joke, right? He’s going to come out behind that tree any moment now, right? It was all a lie… right?

You grew angry at yourself for this. You can’t comprehend why this is all happening. You feel messed up in all sorts of places when you had no right to be. You were only a friend but why did it feel like he was everything to you? It’s been a while since someone has made you feel special ever since your parents departed. Then this new kid moves into town and you felt special again. You barely talked to him but his presence was enough. The way he always greeted you seemed like he looked forward to see you. His way of starting conversations felt like  he wanted to know more about you. Him being there every day meant that he cared for you. He wanted to be there. Not just so he could get away from the world but because you were there. But