Minnie Blabbering
Minnie Blabbering
Baek,
Uhm, i'm sorry for this.
This probably doesn't matter anymore since it's so late and..yeah.
But, I just want to let you know, well...everything.
Everything that has been going on through my mind ever since we got together..well, those things that I hid from you in fear that if i told you, we'll..break-up. didn't know it was the other way 'round.
I dunno. maybe it was really bound to happen. uh breaking up and yeah.
that time, when i first broke my promise.
you asked something so simple, but i didnt...do it.
it was easy.
but i chose not to do it, and lied about being forever alright.
that time when you were getting close to Gyuri, at first i didnt really mind. since she was quiet, and she was my friend..and, yeah. she was talking to few people so when i saw you've gotten closer to her, it was cute since you were so friendly and everything.
then you two became the 'cupids'..you two got busy getting people to be together; then we were slowly..fading since, yeah, you were busy and i didnt had the heart to stop you or limit you since..that was your..thing. i didnt wanna interfere.. i tried to be okay, i tried to distract myself by talking to other people..but, you still didnt care and continued to ignore me.
then there came a day that i tried ignoring you, but when you looked for me..i was on almost instantly. but when it was the other way round..yeah.
then time went by, i got more and more jealous of gyuri cause you would always look for her and you would always talk to her.
I desperately even tried to make you jealous, but i dont think you even noticed that; you were too busy with gyuri. so i concluded that you really were..kinda falling out. but i pushed that thought away, thinking i was just paranoid and of course...you love me.
fast forward, we had two almost break-ups..but we settled that, so i thought we would be stronger and we would last long.
but i guess the problem is still...me.. on our almost second break up, you asked me that again. to tell you if there is something wrong. i said yes but i didnt. i never did it.
i never wanted you to think that i was selfish of you.
that i wanted to be the person you'd talk to, first in the morning and last at night.
that i wanted to be the person that you would always look for even if i was just a few seconds off..
that i'd be the only girl you'll be..close with.
for those reasons, i kept my mouth shut even though my heart was breaking everytime you look for gyuri and continued to ignore me.
then that time when we were really breaking up, i didnt really listen to what you were saying. all i was thinking that 'you're leaving me, you never loved me' and those things..but i kept saying to you, to not leave me, to think again, to change your mind, to give us a chance.
i dont know if i'm still making sense. ;~;
but yeah, that night..i wasnt thinking right. i never thought that we would be over..just like that.
and when i told you that i never cared who you...kissed...i really didnt, but i think i kinda lost my mind and told..kris. so, yeah. i didnt know what to do anymore, but either to kill myself or just go crazy and..still kill myself.
actually...i dunno anymore. i've gone to writing this far..and i dunno what to say anymore. you probably don't care anymore, anyways.
but, yeah. i would like to thank you for making me feel loved, for being so sweet and cheesy and caring.. even for a short time.. thank you also for making me the happiest girl in the world for..a month and almost two days.
do you remember? we had our first kiss on october 15, 2012, and you told me you liked me too on tthat night.. we broke up, november 17, 2012. two days before our...first monthsary.
but never mind that.
it's all in the past....right?
anyways.
this is not necessary, but i love you still and i forever will.
i will move on, dont worry.
i will be happy again, i know you too.
for me, i just don't know when.
i still havent moved on yet. it know it's almost four months since..since whatever happened.
but i assure you, i will..
just..be happy, hm?
i know you've found your happiness already..continue to be.
i wont be bothering you anymore.
but you can always visit jaehwa and take her out.
but just bring her back to me (:
you will always be her appa, even if, if ever, i'll..well, love again.
i doubt that'll happen soon, though.
okay, so..i'm sorry for the long long long message. this will be the first and last.
actually, i still want to say a lot, but this is so long and ... i dunno how to write everything else. i'm also not sure if i..was able to tell you what i needed to tell you. my fingers just kept on typing.
so yeah. that's it. see you whenever. (:
Min♥
PS. that photo..remember that time when i was going through your photo albums?..well, i forgot to tell you that i took another photo :p
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