They say love is the nicest thing someone can ever cherish for the rest of his life.

But love is also the worst thing someone can never forget.

 

 

 

I.

I never expected love to be like this.

 

It was late in the evening when my friend called me to hang out in a bar. Since I got my full fee as a freelance architect from my client 2 days ago, I rewarded myself with a new Ford Fiesta (though my fee can reach those two-seater cars, I still need to save for future use). So I got into the car, inhaled the scent of the leather backseats, revved the engine to life, and headed to bar.

“Hey there” Louie called as soon as I got out from the car. Louie is my apprentice-slash-best friend-slash-brother.

I just looked at him.

“Still sad about the… ‘thing’? It’s been … it’s been years, ‘kay? Move on, dude.” he said, tapping my shoulders.

I just looked at him again, this time with a forced smile.

He just exhaled.

It’s been 2 years since Louie saw me smile, I can tell that. Knowing that he saw me breaking into pieces seems embarrassing for a man, but I never restricted myself from crying when Tiffany broke up with me. I thought she’ll be the girl I can spend eternity with. But time broke all the dreams and plans we created.

“I giving up, Sam.” She said, looking right through my soul.

I thought I heard it wrong.

“Huh?  Sorry, can you say it again?”

She hugged me tightly, and cried so loud that panic flooded through me. I gently grabbed her arms.

“Hey, what happened? Is there something wrong?”

“I’m giving up, Sam.”

I stared at her, shocked.

“You’re … breaking up  ... with me?” I can hardly say those last two words. My hands felt numb.

She nodded.

“No, no, no, NO, NO TIFFANY, NO!” I hugged her tightly, trying not to let go of her.

She pushed with all of her strength to break from my vice-tight hug, but she failed. Someone grabbed her from me and punched me.

“Let her go, idiot!” that man named Siwon, her ‘friend’, grabbed my Tiffany, or her Tiffany, or whatever.

I tasted something from my lips. Something like rust-and-salt. I wiped it off and found my own blood dripping on the pavements of this foreign country.

“Is he the reason?” I asked her, looking right through her guilty eyes.

But then she refused to look back at me, I took it as a confirmation.

“How could you do this to me? I … i never committed anything to make you do things like this.” I told her, trying not to shout at her.

“Can’t you see yourself, Sam? You’re not good enough for her. She can’t even concentrate on her career because of you! You’re causing her pain, not happiness. Stop that whining and let her go, ok?” Siwon spitted those words to my face, while brushing his hands to her arms.

 “Did I really caused you pain?” I asked her.

She’s still dropping her gaze on the ground.

 “Do you want me to break up with you?”

She looked back at me through her wet lashes. Every time she wants something, she looks at me through her lashes. I hate this.

 

I DAMN HATE THIS! I want to shout, I want to punch him, grab her and escape this nightmare.

 

But this is real.

 

I found myself kneeling, letting the weight of depression and sadness push me down to the core. I felt my tears rushed from my eyes; I’m already losing my control. My fist tightened as soon as hatred ran through my system.

“Sam.” She said, crying.

“Let her go, man.” he said.

I immediately grabbed his collar and banged him against the wall.

“Do you love her? DO YOU? Huh? DO YOU LOVE HER?!” I shouted at him.

He looked at her, then at me.

“yes.”

My hands felt numb. I knew I can’t punch him since I never punched anyone before. It’s because I’m weak enough to give punches. I loosened my fingers and walked slowly towards her.

“do you want this? are you going to be happy if I’ll let you go? Will you be happy with him? Do you .. do .. do you love him as much as you loved me?”

She burst in tears again. I grabbed her arms gently.

“Look at me, Tiffany, look into my eyes and answer me honestly.”

She looked at me, and gave me a weak nod.

I tasted defeat. I smelled hatred. I see nothing but emptiness.

 

 

“Bro, hey. Hey.” I felt Louie’s hand waking me up.

“What happened?” I asked, still groggy from ... sleep?

“You drank tons and tons of alcohol, bro. Are you ok?” Louie asked. I just noticed his girlfriend, Reema, who is one of the staffs of the pop group where Tiffany’s in, wiping my bullet-sized sweat gushing on my forehead.

“I’m sorry Reema... for bothering ... both of you, really.” I told them with sincerity.

“You’re broke but you can still afford to say sorry? You’re kidding me, Sam. i can’t believe this.” She exhaled, rolling her eyes.

“C’mon. We’ll drive you home.” Louie stood up, with me leaning my weight to his side and my arms extended to him and Reema.

“You know, I can walk.” I said, breaking free from them. I planted my feet to the floor and walked straightly, but then I lost my balance and fell, causing chaos to the table within my reach.

“I’m sorry. I’m weak, I’m weak.” I kept saying those words when Louie helped me stand up again. But I saw someone so red, catching her breath. I went towards her (with those two keeping my balance under control) and sat beside the woman.

“Hey, are you alright?” i asked the woman. I heard Reema whispered to Louie something like ‘wake him up, Louie’.

“I can’t breathe. I think I’m experiencing some heartburns.” She responded, rubbing her hands on her chest.
“Then call someone to pick you up.” I suggested.

“C’mon bro, we need to send you home.” Louie said, grabbing my arms.

Then my visions cleared up as soon as I saw her face.

 “Hey Louie, I think this is Kahi.” I whispered to Louie.

“Kahi? Kahi of After School?”

She smiled. So I was correct.

I grabbed her phone from the table, looking for Bekah’s number. Well, Bekah’s one of my favorite members of that pop group, actually.

“hey, what are you doing?” she asked.

I found Bekah’s number, pressed the call button, and waited for her response.

“Hello? Kahi-unnie?” This is really Kahi’s phone.

“hey Bekah, can you pick up Kahi here? I think she’s suffering from heartburn.”

“you don’t need to bother Bekah. Kill that call.” Kahi shouted at me.

“Seriously, she’s so red. You need to take her home.” I insisted, darting my gaze to the stubborn woman coughing so weak.

“Where is she?” Bekah asked, worried.

I gave her the address and ended the call.

After I handed her phone, I saw goose bumps raising from her arms. I gave her my jacket and stood up.

“Who are you? Why are you doing this? Just let me suffer, ok?” then she broke down in tears. I suddenly remembered Reema’s handkerchief and offered it to her.

“Don’t ask me, I don’t know who I am either.” She refused the handkerchief but I still placed it beside her.

“Wait for Bekah, she’ll pick you up.” I said, walking towards the door. Louie helped me with my overreacting balance, but Reema went back to Kahi and gave her shades.

“Disguise yourself.” She said, and left.