Leaving Jeju is easy. There are no memories that would hold me back, no friends to leave behind. What’s hard is going back. Back to Seoul where in every place I go, memories flow through my mind like a river finding its way to the seas. Going back means facing the bitter reality. Going back means facing them again. They may not be physically present, but each locus, each space, each corner, reminds me of them. I spent my whole summer, in Jeju, thinking that I shall never return. It would kill me. And as I ride in this bus, every minute closer to the world that I’ve been avoiding, I can feel myself laggardly dying. My heart is beating so fast and sweat is all over at the sides of my face.

It was an hour later when I arrived at the airport and I almost didn’t board the plane. If it wasn’t for my dad, having a secure grip of my wrist, I’ve had ran away to anywhere. Anywhere there are no flowers, sunsets, anything! It’s hard to run away from the inevitable. ‘Cause you really can’t run away from what’s in the cards, can you?

Another two hours and I’m back in Seoul. This also means, back to school. One of the things I dreaded the most. I know it wasn’t long ago since I left for Jeju but it seems like I’ve been gone forever. My dad promised me a new life, no more previews of the past. We are completely moving on. We arrived at our new house. It looked peaceful and not too big. The school is only a few blocks away and I don’t have to ride a bus or any means of transportation.

The walls of my room are in an unbelievably shade of hot pink. My dad sure doesn’t know me well enough to know that I’m not a fan of pink in any kind of shade. My room doesn’t contain much. A single bed was on the right, below the only window, a study table across it. Beside the table is a small round couch and a coffee table. Not to forget the steel bedside table that looked more like a small chair.

I lay down at my comfy bed and looked out the window as my thoughts start to wander back.

Mom has been dead for 6 years now. Today is her death anniversary, the first of June. Even though she’s long gone, she will be always here in my heart. I visited her grave earlier and bought her flowers. My dad, I don’t know exactly know where he is. I mean, he told me he was going to Busan for a photo shoot. Since I was born, my dad has been a photographer. It’s his passion. But that passion is keeping us apart. I was 13 when my mom died and it was grandma who took care of me. Since I’ve turned the fruitful age of 16, I’ve been living alone, only having to catch a glimpse of my dad once a month, if lucky, once a week. So it was like losing the parents I have when my mom passed away. My mom, he was my father at the same time.

My phone rang, bringing me back from my thoughts. It was dad. Who else would call me? My friends don’t have my number, I didn’t give them.

“Ne Abeoji?” I said upon answering.

“Baekji. I have something to tell you.”

“Mweo?”

“You have a twin sister.”

Someone was knocking, which pulled me back in the present. I opened the door and a flustered-looking Byunghun was in front me. My dad was carrying a tray and on it was a plate of eggs, rice and kimchi.

“I didn’t know what you wanted. So I just made you this.”

“Uhh..Thanks dad. You shouldn’t have bothered.”

“I know you’re hungry.”

“I mean, you should’ve cooked ramen or something.”

“Oh. I haven’t done some grocery shopping yet.”

“Ahh. Then I shall do some grocery tomorrow.”

“Jinjja?”

“Ne appa. Just leave it to me.”

“O..Okay.”

I took the tray nonetheless and closed the door gently. I never thought actually living with my dad under one roof would this be gauche. I started eating the food, I admit I’m hungry. The next day, as promised, I went shopping for goods. I bought as many ramen as my wallet would allow. Although dad provided me with money, I guess it wasn’t enough for my ramen intake. I shopped for new jeans and sweaters. Dad enrolled me to a private institution nearby so I guess I have to buy some school materials too. But I won’t be buying today, I’d leave  it to my dad. Anyway, school is still a month away.

I felt hungry after hours of shopping so I decided I’d take a bite at one of the cafes available. I searched for my purse in my backpack and I didn’t notice a guy walking in the opposite direction. I collided with the guy and all the bags that I was holding fell out of my grip.

“Sorry.” The guy apologized while picking my belongings.

“Its fine.”

I looked at the guy and he stiffened. He just stared at me like I have horns on my head.

“Minkyung?”

I froze.

***

Exactly how many people knew my twin sister? She lived in Busan and we’re in Seoul for heaven’s sake!

There were still a lot of things that I wasn’t aware of. I blame this all to my dad who concealed this from me. The encounter with the undeniably handsome guy was surprising in my part. Remembering how he thought I was Minkyung gave me goose bumps. Why should that happen? Why now? I wish to never meet him again. Ever.

“Minkyung?”

I stared into his tantalizing eyes. Who is this guy? I would consider my sister lucky for having to know a guy as handsome as this.

“Minkyung?” he repeated, this time louder. Did he think I cannot hear him calling the name of sister? Nobody has called me that in my life.

“Sorry. I’m not..uhh..Minkyung.”

“No, you are. Why did you leave me?”

What nonsense is he blabbing? I never left a guy. If I would, I would certainly restraint this handsome creature. So my sister left him? Why? Now, I’m curious. Maybe he’s a pedo or worse a murderer. Well, since we’re here, I might as well break it to him.

“Minkyung. She’s…..”

I stopped mid-sentence when I saw hot tears rolling from his eyes. He’s crying. Somehow, I feel sorry for him. For that, I won’t tell him the truth. Let’s be real though; reality bites. When he looked down to hide his face in embarrassment, I took the chance to run away. I glance at him once I was far enough but I could still make out his eyes. It’s haunting me.

The encounter made me forgot how I was hungry and now, my stomach growls louder. It’s six in the afternoon and my dad won’t be home anytime soon. He said he’ll be back by eight. After my fateful encounter with the guy, I immediately went home. A thousand thoughts came to me paralyzing my being into a confused statue. I wish I never see him again, that’s what I said but a small, just a miniscule part of my heart wants to catch a glimpse him once more.