Chapter 1: Hello there! I've read your story until the very end. If you were to ask for my honest opinion, it's okay. I understand that you're trying to explore the feelings of meeting one's favourite k-pop group. ^^

Criticism. Do you want them though? Well - I rather refer to them as personal opinions, guidelines that you could choose to either follow or not. c: If you don't want them, then skip the rest of the comment, alright?

Firstly, I think you should outline the thoughts. Well um, I'll use some of the sentences used in your story to make a better example. You see, sentences like (Turn to me. Turn to me.) and (Don't turn off your phone tonight.) are actually your thoughts and CNU's thoughts right? If what I stated was right, then if they were formulated this way ("Turn to me," you silently plead. "Turn to me.") and ("Don't turn off your phone tonight," mouths out CNU.) it would be easier to identify. ;A; Did I make any sense?

Also, your words have a tiny error. Ur, like... In (Sometimes, you comes to their dorm to play.) and (his dongsengs), replace the word (comes) with (come) and the word (dongsengs) is actually spelled as (dongsaengs). ^^

All in all, I didn't write all of these things to dishearten you. I just believe that you deserve my honest opinion on your story. That's all. Have a nice day!