Chanhee's POV;

I have to admit, it was awfully difficult getting along with my Cupid. It was like getting to know someone who had amnesia. And here was the problem: How was I supposed to get to know him, if he didn't even know himself?

We only knew his fake name, one he was assigned to, but that didn't reveal anything about him. I didn't know what he had been through his whole life, and neither did he.

But it was obvious that he's been through quite a lot. It's written all over his shirt anyway.

How painful it must've been for him, to have died that way. And to top it all off, he passed away with a heart that was never returned.

The atmosphere was slightly depressing as we headed back to my place for the night. But I expected it, after all, I didn't pick out my lover yet, and L.Joe was probably becoming weary of me by now. I was only making his job harder than it was meant to be.

But it's okay, right? He wouldn't have to leave so soon then, and if he didn't have to leave, then he didn't have to return to death, who was waiting patiently for his return.

After finishing up my thoughtful and timely shower, I found the Cupid resting on the window sill again, his back facing me and his chin slightly lifted to watch the blinking stars hanging in the sky. Enveloped in all of the darkness, he seemed to be glowing, seeping radiance from the pores of his skin. I wouldn't be surprised if he was in fact shining before me. He's dead, after all. Or so he says.

But I assume differently.

He may be somewhat of a ghost, capturing the wings of an angel, with a hollow heart lying in his chest, but I considered him to be alive.

Just because his heart was empty, it didn't mean it was gone.

And as long as it remained under his ribcage, beating or not, he had the ability to love.

And he had the ability to live.

He just didn't know it yet.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked under a soft breath, my body leaning close to his, but not enough for him to catch sight of me when giving a side glance.

There was a flicker in his eyes, which were tediously lit from the shy moon draping her reign of stars over us, blanketing the sky in darkness and tranquility.

"Just things." He replied with a soft, husky voice, the dark pupils of his eyes never leaving the outstretched darkness above.

"Things like... memories you don't remember?"

The atmosphere slept with little noises of cars stirring in the distance, the normal soft chattering of busy bodies rustling about on the streets. L.Joe never interrupted the silence.

But the answer was quite obvious.

It must've been hard, after all, to not have the slightest idea of who he was, and who he was to be.

"Do you think.. Cupids have the ability to recall their memories?" I put silence to it's grave, letting my tilted head rest on the lone Cupid's shoulder as I watched the stars play in the sky.

"It's possible. The head Cupid said so anyway." He replied, "But it's very unlikely."

His head slightly turned to lay his watchful eyes on me, but I kept my gaze above, "She said that each Cupid had a trigger moment. That moment is what caused our death. If we are exposed to a scenario similar to it, our memories will return in increments. Within a few days, our memories will fully return." 

He paused for a moment, drawing his attention away from me again, "And if that happens, our days as Cupid will end."

"Why does it have to end? Can't you continue being a cupid even with them?"

"Yes, but at the same time, no, because many Cupids will try to manipulate their power. They will attempt revenge on the one who didn't return their feelings, or they will cause other mishaps we can't risk."

"But this isn't about them. It's about you, L.Joe. Would you do that?"

"I don't think I will."

"Then there's nothing wrong with regaining your memories. They're yours after all. You deserve them."

"But there's not a good chance I'll even come close to remembering anything."

"Well, we've got to try, right?"

"But..." His voice raised a little, the sparks in his eyes flickering about, "What if who I was is someone I can't handle?"

I remained silent.

"What if I was a monster?"

Why on Earth would he think that?

He drew forward, causing me to carry my head again as his winged back faced me for the second time, "It makes sense, doesn't it? If I was a monster before."

I slightly shook my head for him to understand that he was fine; I couldn't let him continue saying these words to himself, he might actually start to believe them. 

"You're not, L.Joe. I'm sure you were fine--"

"No. You don't understand, Chanhee." He slightly shifted to look at me with eyes full of life and a slight melancholy emotion lurking among them, "You see this blood on my shirt, don't you? It's not normal, Chanhee. I could've been involved in serious things that even you can't imagine. How else could I have died like this?"

My words choked on themselves at this point, allowing nothing but a breath to be heard.

In his eyes, there was a glimpse of sadness, a slight despair that should've been more evident than what he allowed to show. If he wasn't restraining himself, I'm sure he would've broken into tears at that moment.

And he drew a breath, a tedious one as his gaze fell along with the strength he managed to muster up; everything inside of him was giving in.

But with whatever he had left, he forced himself to speak, softly, as if his voice would break along with the rest of him.

"Don't you get it, Chanhee?" He said, "The person I was wasn't even worth returning feelings to."

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*A/N: I'm slowly forgetting how to write wow y chapter but I wanted to get this up already OTL THANKS FOR THE SUBS AND THEORIES. None of them are spot on, but you guys have nice guesses!