“Will he be okay?” I softly say as Leeteuk and I stand next to Donghae in the hospital. Donghae is asleep, and I don’t want to wake him up. “I think so… is he waking up?” Leeteuk says as a nurse rushes over as Donghae slowly wakes up. “Where am I?” Donghae says. Something doesn’t seem right… “You’re at the hospital” the nurse says as Donghae slowly looks at Leeteuk and I. “How did I get here? Why can’t I remember anything?” Donghae looks close to tears as Leeteuk and I slowly kneel down next to him. I’m close to tears as well because I realize Donghae can’t remember who we are. “You were in an accident... you got hurt pretty badly, and you were in a coma for a month.” Leeteuk explains, and as he explains Donghae tries to grab my hand, so I gently take Donghae’s hand. “I think I remember one thing…” The nurse’s reaction, as well as Leeteuk and I’s reaction, is shock. “What is it?” I ask, hoping against hope that he remembers who I am, and what we had. “I remember you Heechul… all I remember is your name and that you’re important…” I’m surprised as Donghae says this. So he partly remembers me… and remembers that I’m important.

After a few months I take Donghae home from the hospital. As we’re driving he asks me a lot of questions. “So I really am in Super Junior?” I nod and Donghae asks the next question. “And SHINee and TVXQ and Girls Generation and f(x)… we know them all as well?” Donghae looks so confused, it’s slightly cute. “Yes, you’re really close with a lot of them as well…” Donghae nods. “Heechul, why do I feel like I should know more right now, but I can’t? Didn’t the doctors say I was fine?” Crap. How do I answer this? They told me it would take awhile for Donghae to remember everything, but he remembers all of the Super Junior members, which is good. “I’m not really sure how to explain that, so you might have to ask the others when we get back.” Donghae nods. “Heechul… I don’t know why but I feel different about you compared to the others… do you know why?” I’m not supposed to tell him the real reason why he feels that way, because he has to remember most stuff on his own… “We’re just close, that’s why I’m taking so much care of you.” It hurts to not tell him the real reason, but what can I do? Even if it takes months, he has to remember stuff like that on his own. “Ok… Is Ryeowook’s cooking good? Because Kyuhyun said Ryeowook always cooks for us…” I chuckle and nod. “It’s better than good. Sometimes Sungmin cooks for us as well.” Donghae nods and asks another question. “Do all fifteen of us live in one dorm?” Donghae looks confused, and I don’t blame him. “Not anymore… now Ryeowook, Kangin and I live in one dorm, and you live with us. Yesung lives near the dorm where most of the other members live. Henry and Zhou Mi switch between our dorm and the other dorm… and Hangeng…” How do I say that Hangeng left? It still hurts to talk about it… “Hangeng lives in China… he’s doing solo activities.” I guess that’s how I can explain it. Donghae says he doesn’t remember it, but I think he does, but wishes he doesn’t. When we pull into the driveway of our dorm Donghae asks one more question. “Is this the dorm where we live?” I nod, and we get out. When I’ve locked the car, Donghae holds my hand as we walk to the door and I feel upset because Donghae doesn’t remember just how much we had. “Donghae! You’re ok! Kangin hyung! They’re here!” Ryeowook runs to Donghae and gives him a hug. “Hi Ryeowook… you are Ryeowook right?” Ryeowook nods. “And you’re Kangin…right?” Donghae says as Kangin comes out. “Yeah I am, come on, it’s freezing outside.” The four of us go inside. “Does Donghae remember about you and him or…” I shake my head and Kangin gives me a sympathetic look. “I just finished making dinner, it just needs to cool down a bit.” Ryeowook says and the four of us sit at the table, Donghae sitting as close to me as possible.