I have known you since we were kids. We confessed our feelings at our high school graduation. We began dating when we started college you started too, but you told me you wanted to go into the military too to have better income and live well. You said I have always wanted to be like my father I always respected him for it now I want to do it.

After you came back from training we got a house we lived hapily in our home.When you asked me to get married on our 2 year of dating i was so happy.

Our fall wedding that was small but it was our loved ones who supported our love I was happy and i knew that i had done good. 

Since I knew you had been enlisted and knew that in the following summer you were going to leave for a long period of time I didn't like the uncertainty of you possibly not coming back to me. When you left for two months I was afraid everytime I got a knock at my door.

You came home again for 3 months. I was so happy I felt relieved that I saw you again. 

So every day with you was precious to me. I wrote to you everyday and you did the same in each letter you promised me forever and that you would come back. I was so happy yet sad everytime i read your letters.

 In our last letter you wrote "see you in two weeks my love <3". The day before you were supposed to be home i got a knock on my door at noon.

I saw your best friend in his military suit, he handed me a letter.

I opened the letter confused, I read the contents and for what seemed like a split second I felt my heart break.

 I stopped hearing everything, I dropped to my knees I couldn't breathe. 

Jaejoong began to hold me he let me cry in his arms he tried his best to keep his composure.

 I began to yell & hit him.

 That night he stayed with me he watched me. He told me that you had asked him to be the one to tell me if it ever needed to happen.

 I was walking to the church that day with a box full of your letter. I walked in the church with swollen eyes, I  heard the trumpets from the military band. 

They handed me the folded up flag, I told myself this can't be happening to me.  

I broke down I knew that this was always a possibility.

 Baby why did it happen so soon?

 Why did you have to go I was counting on forever, now I'll never know.

I heard the shots of the guards, they felt like a bullet to my heart.

It feels like i am looking from a distance, standing in the background.Everyone is saying "he's never coming back now".

Please tell me this is just a dream, ok?

Please Junsu....