“Nana, are you okay?” Ara asked as soon as Nana opened her eyes.

“Where am I?” Nana looked around as she sat up on the bed.

“The infirmary,” I told her. “Why did you do it, Nana?”

Nana avoided my eyes, her hands gripping firmly on the blanket that was used to cover her legs. Sungjong—who had just entered the infirmary—stood by my side and took out a bottle of blue pills from the pocket of his trousers. They were sleeping pills. Then he held it in front of Nana’s face, causing Nana to flinch at the sight of it.

“What’s this?” Sungjong said in a low voice, his knuckles turning white as his grip on the bottle tightened. “You know it’s dangerous to consume this thing!”

“I have to,” Nana replied gloomily. Her face darkened and her eyes showed no sign of regret. “I’m not that smart. I have to study everyday to catch up with everyone! You won’t understand how I feel because you’re not as stupid as I am!”

Before Nana could say more, Ara landed a big slap on her face. All four of us—including Ara herself—became speechless. Nana placed her hand on her cheek that was turning red and stared at Ara with wide eyes. Ara had never done something like that before. Usually she was the calmest of all of us but today, it seemed like she had unleashed something she had been keeping deep inside her heart.

“You’re not stupid. What made you think so? You can’t judge yourself blindly!” Ara her heels and stormed out of the infirmary before we could stop her.

“Ara’s right. You’re not stupid, Nana.” Sungjong frowned. He placed the bottle on the bed and sighed. “To tell you the truth, I’m really disappointed in you. I thought we were friends. You should’ve asked us for help if you feel troubled.”

Sungjong ran a hand through his hair and walked out of the infirmary, leaving the two of us alone. Nana stared blankly outside the window. It was as if her soul had left her body. I noticed that she had lost some weight. She must be stressed out because of the upcoming exam.

“Nana-ya, I’ll be there for you if you wanna talk. Sungjong and Ara didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“I’m sorry, Miyeon-ah.” Nana smiled weakly without making eye contact with me. There were tears in her eyes.

I didn’t know what else to say so I gave her a comforting squeeze on her shoulder and left.

~~v~~

“I’m worried about Nana,” Ara said as the both of us swept the floor of our classroom. “It’s been almost a week and she’s still not in school.”

“She haven’t called nor texted me. Maybe we should pay her a visit?” I suggested.

“That’s a good idea. I’ll tell Sungjong about it.” Ara nodded.

Later that evening, the three of us went to Nana’s house. I knocked on the front door and was greeted by her mother. She told us that Nana had been locking herself in her room since the incident and wouldn’t come out. The three of us exchanged glances, not knowing what to do. Sungjong stared up at the window of Nana’s room and started shouting.

“Yaa, Nana! Are you going to lock yourself up in that room forever? Come out this instant!”

“Nana-ya, please come out!” Ara joined in.

“Nana-ya, talk to us!” I tried but there was no response.

My phone vibrated. There was a message from Nana. I opened the message and read it.

Stop worrying about me, go home.

“She doesn’t want to talk to us.” I muttered.

“She has lost her mind,” Sungjong sighed. “I’m gonna break the door of her room.”

“Calm down, Sungjong-ah.” Ara placed her hand on his shoulder. Then she looked at me worriedly. “What should we do?”

“I don’t know.” I closed my eyes, trying to think of a solution but none came up into my mind.

I had never experienced something like this and it scared me to think about it. Nana was my best friend, our best friend. We wanted to help her but she rejected us.

Was there any way for us to help her?

Why wouldn’t she open up to us and talk about it?

Was she hiding something from us?

The most cheerful person is always the saddest.

Is that true?