"Yes I promise to love you forever" A blush crept on your cheeks. The way Taemin's eyes looking directly at you was melting, his voice so soothing, everything seemed perfect. If only he was really here. A tear escaped your eyes once again as you turned the television off. Crazy right? Your boyfriend is SHINee's Lee Taemin. And to whoever said being an idol's girlfriend is so sweet, so lucky. Think again.

You can't kiss, can't date, can't touch each other at all. Specially in public. You couldn't even have a decent time together. It wasn't that you hated it, well okay so honestly maybe you do. But it was his dream, and you love him too much to let him go. He worked too hard for this dream, this was something he always wanted even back then. Who are you to make him choose? And the only thing he needs from you right now is understanding his situation.

"♫ Because I’m an idol, because I’m a celebrity
I can’t hold your hand when we walk but
When I become more famous, when I become more confident
I will give you all the love I couldn’t give you now"

Your phone rang at that precise moment. A smile painted on your face as you didn't have to read the ID to know who it was.

"Taemin-ah" You greeted rather too excitedly, you heard a chuckle on the other end of the line. His voice calling out your name made you squeel in delight. You miss him so much and you couldn't tell him that so easily, how could you? He misses you just the same, a normal couple could slip those words out of their lips so perfectly, without a care but  you just couldn't. He was too far from you and worrying him wasn't exactly a good thing to do.

"I missed you so much" It was enough to hear it from him. You had to hold back the tears, because in many ways, it was hurting you a lot. "Hey... Why aren't you talking" Taemin softly added. You had to bite your lip for a while and breath in deep.

"I just.. miss you too and I'm so happy you called" You could sense him smile at your words. You've always been one to be frank but you knew when to be straightforward and it wasn't a great time right now.

"So... remember our date for this weekend?" Your eyes sparkled with hope. He remembers! You thought, but that smile and optimsitic idea easily melted away as you heard his next words. He had to cancel again. A sudden change in plans, your heart broke even further. It was supposed to be the first time you'd see each other in 2 months.

"No... No.. It's fine. It's really okay. I mean I understand don't worry" You had to force yourself to make your voice seem as if you weren't expecting, but he knew you all too well. Taemin had sternly called your name out. But you were stubborn, but you loved him way too much. "Look Taemin-ah.. oppa.. It's really really okay" You heard him sigh, and you didn't like it when he sighed.

"I'm sorry for... I don't know..." You couldn't take it anymore. No.. No.. Please don't cry.... He was hurting, you were hurting. All this idol life business was hurting you both. You wanted to tell him to stop it, you wanted to be there when his tears would fall, You want to be the reason why he smiles always. "I'm sorry for everything. I wish... I just wish... one day with you...." Taemin's words weren't coherent anymore. They were broken, like his thoughts. He had so much to tell you but he just couldn't. Both of you had to act strong infront of each other.

"You do know I'll always be here for you right?" You finally spoke through tears and a broken voice. "Always. Always be here for you. Always waiting, because I love you so much" You wanted to stop, you wanted to give him another kind of encouragement, but all you could give him now were words. "You promised to come back. Not sure when but you know that I promised that I'll wait" Yes. It was true and you didn't know if this was going to help him "now get your act straight or you'll grow old and ugly" You joked, succeeded for you heard him laugh a bit

"Everyday, I thank the Lord for giving you to me" Taemin said, you smiled as you wiped your tears away. "I have to go now. I love you so much" His voice sounded like he was in a hurry, he spoke real fast and didn't even wait for you to respond. But he did have a busy schedule, and he had no time to waste. You were happy with the phone call. But ofcourse you wished, that you could be with more than just by the phone and longer than just a few hours in a month or two.

"An hour break everybody!" The director yelled as everyone became busy setting up the props for the next theme of the photoshoot.

There he was, sitting all alone. He looked so tired that it broke your heart. "Hey" You softly called out as you approached him. Taemin glanced your direction a smile slowly crept on his face. A wide smile he only gave just for you. He said your name almost breathlessly that he almost couldn't contain all emotion. You had to hold back the pain you felt, you missed him so much. You long for him, for his touches, for his voice, for him to kiss you, for him to say he loves you.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. You just smiled as a response, he stood up to hug you but you took a step back whispering that someone might see. It broke you further seeing his pained reaction. He understood so did you. It was so hard for both of you. "Meet me after the shoot okay? Wait for me... I promise I'll come." There he goes again with his promises, but then again you knew he would never intentionally break your heart. You nodded leaving you were happy you saw him, very happy that you started tearing up as soon as you walked away.

You're retreating figure was too much for him to handle. He looked down clenching his fists. Taemin wanted to run after you, kiss you, hug you, tell you how much he loves you. But with the people around him, he had to restrain.

"You know... I don't know if it would be better to break up..." A voice softly told Taemin as a hand landed on his shoulder. "... but she seems like the type who'd wait for you" And that was when he felt it. His breaking point.

"Hyung..." Taemin's tears started flowing. The pain he'd been keeping, the pain he'd been hiding from you. Taemin started crying hard, leaning against his Onew hyung's chest. No matter how much he often told his SHINee hyung's he doesn't need to be always looked after, they all know what he's been dealing with. "I don't want to be an idol anymore" His words could only make Onew sigh. He too understood how hard it is for both of them. How each side had to always act like they were okay, how both of them had to restrain from all the normal couple activities. It was tiring.

"I know Taemin-ah... I know..."

You were in your room hugging your knees as VIXX's I don't want to be an idol was on repeat. All lights were off, the aura was so gloomy. It's almost 2am and still no sign of Taemin. Did another urgent schedule came? You didn't know. All you could do was bite your lip and wait, the only thing you reall ever did-- Wait for him.

"♫ I wondered at times if we should break up
but I love you too much."

That day he sent you a video message of him singing this song as he played the guitar, it overwhelmed you so much that it made you cry for weeks whenever you thought about it. The song he dedicated to you... This song is what comforted you, a reminder that he loves you that after his career there will still be the both of you.

Your phone started ringing making you snap back into reality. Your puffy eyes and shaking voice made it hard for you to speak.

"Hey... It's Jjong. Remember me?" You forced a chuckle and a joke to come out. Yeah, big deal. You know SHINee so what? It's not like you can freely talk to them or something. You had to supress another sigh. Jonghyun was blabbing something about Taemin making a mess during the shoot. You could only smile so softly at his stories. "You know.. he went to see you" This made you freeze. He's coming. Here. Now. And as if right on cue, someone was throwing pebbles at your window.

"Oh my god.. don't tell me--" You rushed to your window, tears started flowing once again. Taemin on your tree, holding a guitar as he started singing.

"♫ Just being by your side like this was good enough Yes,
should I muster up some courage one more time?
Should I tell you how I feel?
You don’t even know my heart and you just smile brightly

I’m telling you that I want you
I’m telling you that I’m calling you
Hold my hand, hold my hand
I’m afraid that I’ll lose you"

"Taemin..." You whispered as both your hands found it's way to your mouth, covering them. You were delighted, no.. your happiness was over flowing that you cried harder.

I’m telling you that I want you
I’m telling you that I love you
Are you listening to my heart for you?
It hurts just to look at you

Like this Shyly, I hide my fluttering heart
And I met you again today
I worry that my heart will be noticed So I turn around

 I still need you, I still you
Nothing can replace you
Cuz I love you – wait for me
I will tell you my heart

I’m telling you that I’m looking for you
I’m telling you that I want to have you
Hold my hand, hold my hand
I’m afraid that I’ll lose you

I’m telling you that I want you
I’m telling you that I love you
Are you listening to my heart for you?
It hurts just to look at you

Through out the song, only that smile and tear-stained face was all he could see. And he was all you could see and hear as well. You were speechless, no word could describe what you were feeling right now.

...Like this"

The song finished. All you did was stare in awe. "aren't you going to let me in?" he joked. But in reality he didn't know if he should be happy with your reaction all he wants now is to hug you and wipe away those tears. You snapped back as you helped him in.

"Are you crazy? what if someone saw you? what if you fell? what if--" and in a second, one hand on your waist and another on the back of your head, his lips on yours making you shut up.

He pulled away, leaving you speechless yet again. Taemin cupped your chin making you look at him. His beautiful face falling inlove with something so ordinary as yours. Sometimes you just never understood what he saw in you.

"That song. I wrote it just for you" He grinned hugging you close. You hugged him back resting your cheek on his chest. Oh how much you missed this, how much you missed his smell.

"But that was a confession song..." You softly said. Taemin chuckled and nodded.

"Sort of yes but at the same time no" You gazed at him confused. He softly smiled wiping those stray tears with his thumb. Planting a kiss on your forehead, he started swaying around humming to the song you were listening just before he came.

"♫When I become more famous, when I become more confident
I will give you all the love I couldn’t give you now"

He started singing, you started tearing up again. Times like this reminded you of how much he loved you. At times like this, you were thankful. At times like this, he wasn't really an idol.

"I pomise you. One day. I'll let the whole world know"