I look back at the door having the last glimpse of your smile before I walk out to the place I call work. Our relationship was kept low despite the media being able to get out shots every now and then. We didn't agree to their reports but nor did we deny either. Though some thought it was mutual due to some other scandalous reports of us individually being involve with other people. For you, it was always Young Deuk, one of the Kwon twins in HiTech. For me, it was always Choi Jinri or famously known as Sulli in F(x). 

 

I would lie if I say there was never a time that I actually got jealous. In fact, I do so all the time especially when there were news or rumours by fans in your forum talking about how close you are with him. Sometimes it was because of that I think that I want to expose our relationship but knowing how private of a person you are and to protect the relationship we have, I hold it back. I know it is a rash act when I'm clouded with jealousy but I know I myself would like to keep our relationship low so we don't have to be under the scrutiny of cameras wherever we go. By then, we might even lose our privacy and hence, losing what we have preciously built together the past year.

 

It was during your Fire days that I started noticing you and seeing how your strong stage presence with your members made an impact in the Korean industry that I realize how charismatic 2ne1 looks. Thank goodness for the existence of 2ne1tv or I wouldn't have known what a cutie you are behind those thick make up and fierce presence on stage. I admired you from afar, not knowing that all those time that the admiration I had turned into a crush that even my hyungs made fun of. After much denial, I realize yes, I just crushed on the maknae of 2ne1, the Ero Minji that everyone knew. 

 

During the Halloween MJ tribute stage practice, I remember how shy you were being around guys. GiKwang hyung even made fun of you but with Wooyoung hyung jokes and ssanti dances, it got you cracking up so hard that you slowly opened up to us. I was too shy to approach you so I kept my distance then, getting envious that the hyungs got your full attention with their jokes. However, even with the sweet smile you gave me that day, it got me melted and for some reason I found myself stealing glances at you and hoping that you will turn to look at me too. When you did what I hoped for, I thought my world was complete.

 

During the rehearsal stage, I was too nervous to show my best on stage that I got frustrated with myself after the first dry run. I thought I screwed it up when I seem to break the lock of the 'coffin' I was suppose to be in before the dance. I looked so embarrassed and had the staff to fixed it for me as Shawols were basically squealing at how I made that mistake. It didn't take long for the crew to get us ready again and we started all over. The second try, I was satisfied with my entrance but halfway through, I almost slipped from my position and that got me all flustered hoping that the camera did not capture that shot. The third time was almost perfect but my arms were sore from being in the same position for too long and I was panting so hard that I look like I'm about to faint. When they said that they were going to take a last shot of us doing the dance, I knew I really had to put my all, after all, dancing is my pride and if I screwed it up, I might as well just beat myself up over this. So at the last try, I gave my all and added a few changes. Though I didn't really like my entrance, I knew that at the last shot, I actually stole a lot more glances at Minzy than I intended. It all started when I pointed at her during her entrance then slowly I started to take note of the moves she made despite memorising her step in my head during rehearsals. When the last shot ended, Wooyoung hyung asks if I was ok and I just nodded which earned me a pat on the back instead. 

 

When we were done, we bowed to the crew and to each other before going off stage. GiKwang hyung was walking beside Minzy and the 2PM hyungs waved a quick farewell before leaving. I overheard hyung wanted to go out with Minzy after today but she apologize as she said she was busy preparing for her comeback. Hyung told her that he look forward to looking her up for another outing in which she smiled and nodded and seeing that response got my heart to twitch a little. I was suppose to be heading to my dressing room to prepare for the performance later with my SHINee hyungs but I risk myself by heading towards Minzy. It's now or never since our schedules might not clash in the future.

 

"Minzy-shi" 

 

"Neh Taemin-shi?" Minzy turned so fast, her dyed brunette hair flows along smoothly with her face.

 

When she fully turned towards him, he saw her in a fitting sleeveless top that was previously hidden inside the red leather jacket that she was wearing. Somehow, the sight of him got him a little distracted before Minzy gets his attention again.

 

"Can I exchange number with you?"

 

"Eh?"

 

"You know, to be friends? I thought maybe you can show me some of your moves." Taemin speak so fast he barely registered what he said.

 

"Taemin-shi, you're such a good dancer, I'm average compared to yours." Minzy smiled.

 

"No no.. You were great out there earlier and I've seen you during your dance batte months ago with BEP's Imma Be."

 

"Oh, thank you." Minzy said blushing.

 

"So, can I have your number?"

 

"Sure, give me a moment." Minzy said as she went in the dressing room and came out a minute later with her number on a paper.

 

"Thanks, I'll give you a ring once I'm free."

 

"Sure Taemin-shi." she smiled.

 

"You're younger than me right? 94-er?" Taemin asks and she nods.

 

"You can call me oppa then." Taemin smiled and she oblige before heading into her dressing room to change.

 

That day, Taemin thought was the best day ever despite him being disappointed at his performance. Worst of all, when he checked the broadcast while in the dressing room, he was blushing so hard when he realized that the cameraman decided to use the last rehearsal footage for broadcast, the one where he kept eyeing Minzy. He just hoped that no one noticed him doing so while dancing. It was then that the teasing of his hyungs started again.

 

He didn't get to contact her again as their promotions tend to clash and since YG rarely allow the girls on variety shows, it made it all harder for him to get closer to her. After almost a year after dancing together, he managed to recall about having her number and that was then that he decided to call Minzy, hoping for the very least that she did not change her number or forget about him.

 

It was then that their friendship started blossoming. It was tough at first because Minzy tends to reply him late or a couple of hours after he text or call her but he got over that as time pass. Somehow, he made a mistake too soon by asking her to be his girlfriend as he thought the messages and calls they make to each other meant a lot but unfortunately, as much as he hoped so, he was turned down. His pride crushed and he thought it never hurt that much before. Maybe he should be thankful for that as since then, Minzy was the one who initiated to talk or text. It was only a month after the incident that they bumped into each other when Minzy was having a meal with Amber. He was about to walk out after greeting his workmate when Minzy approached him asking if she could meet him that night. He hesitated but agreed in the end as he watch her enter the cafe again.

 

That night when they met, Taemin was a conscious on how he look but the thought soon forgotten as he saw her. It was a bit awkward as they are used to conversing through their phone and feelings that were kept suddenly flowed the moment he start the bowl rolling. Eventually he learned that the rejection from Minzy wasn't based on the fact that she hated him but she thought that he was kidding at first as she herself knew nothing about love. Their friendship began getting back to normal but it was shortlived as somehow their closure turned into love. It was then that they got together, barely 2 months after meeting each other.

 

It has been smooth sailing until rumours of him and Sulli resurfaced but the more annoying problem was when he came across threads of Minzy and Young Deuk together during rehearsals, practices and concerts as they laugh, hug and flirt on twitter. Minzy has said before that they were just friends but those captions of them at times prove otherwise. Somehow, unconciously, he started to believe those speculations  and then their arguments arose or more likely only him as Minzy have always try to persuade and assure him that thinks too much.

 

However, it was during the promotion of 'I Love You' that he thought he was at his last thread of patience. Minzy was paired up with Young Deuk or Young Don, not that he could tell the difference of the twin. He also so the caption when Minzy tweeted about promoting 'I Love You' and Young Deuk replied with an 'I Love You Too' comment. To make it worst, their group was done promoting Sherlock and having a Shinee World Tour that he barely had time to contact her. The distance then start to make his assumption worst but Minzy being the cool headed told him that he should trust her but how to when he saw that small section in their World Tour clip of Minzy holding on to the arms on Young Deuk while talking to him. He wouldn't have noticed it if the fan does not capture the short in the thread. That somehow made him angry, so much for trusting her.

 

If he was not busy preparing for their tour or have any schedule, he would be in the dorm, the gym or SM building dancing his head off in the studio. Due to the lack of contact and the distrust that is slowly building within him. He started to court Sulli as she was one of the closest to him, knowing well enough that his hoobae had a crush on him since his debut. Since only his hyungs know of his relationship with Minzy, it made it all easier for Sulli to fall for him without a sense of doubt. Slowly, he started cheating on Minzy. Though guilty when his girlfriend contacted him during her free time, fancams of her paired up with Young Deuk during the 2ne1 World Tour made him forget the guilt after he put down the phone with his girlfriend. It slowly became a routine for months ahead.

 

When 2ne1 ended their world Tour in early December, he barely even know until his hyungs reminded him and also when Minzy contacted him to meet her. His guilt started to sink in again when they met and Minzy bought all the stuff she bought for him during the World Tour. He felt bad that while his girlfriend was thinking of him, he was busy flirting with Sulli but he accepted the gifts nonetheless and feels apologetic that he does not do the same during his tour or free time. Ever since her return, they spent more time together but Taemin could not help himself to sneak out with Sulli when he can. It was like an addiction and he felt like he was in control. 

 

However, that unfortunate day after he met her before his practice change everything. The day started smoothly as he spend the night in 2ne1's dorm basically watching movies and cooking together with his girlfriend, so that morning, he was busy surprising the sleeping Minzy with his simple breakfast. They had a sweet time together hugging and cuddling until Bom noona steps into the dorm, shocked of his presence. It was a little awkward but she gave us that privacy that they wanted. 

 

As much as he wanted to stay longer, he excused himself as he had to head to practice early or rather to meet Sulli for a date before his actual practice. However what he did not expect was to meet Minzy during the date with Sulli herself. They were sharing a plate of meal, eating together at a small restaurant not far from SM Building when Minzy came in with Luna and Amber. 

 

"Unni!" Sulli called them over but since Taemin was backfacing the door he didn't know that Minzy was with them so he was surprised when they came over to the table and he saw his girlfriend.

 

"Minzy shi." 

 

"Sulli shi." Minzy greeted but her eyes were scrutinizing him but nodded nonetheless to not make it suspicious.

 

"Jinri ah, what are you doing here? I thought you were going to a more romantic place with Taemin?" Luna jokes and Minzy's gasp as she hold on to Amber who was staring him down.

 

So Luna does not know of his relationship with Minji and from the looks of it only Amber knows. 

 

"Are... are they dating?" Minzy stuttered.

 

"Yes Minzy ah, don't tell anyone ok?" Luna chuckled and Sulli blushed.

 

Something inside him crack but he couldn't think on his feet as fast as he was being exposed.

 

"How long?" Minzy continued asking in a faint voice.

 

"It's been a couple of months already." Sulli said enthusiastically and Taemin felt like shutting Sulli up but that would only cause suspicions.

 

"Please keep it within yourself Minzy shi."

 

"Oh.. neh. Don't worry, it's safe with me." Minzy said as she turn to look at Taemin expressionlessly.

 

"I don't feel like eating here anymore, let's go Luna." Amber voiced out coldly.

 

"But you said you love the food here!"

 

"I have a sudden craving for another food. You can stay here if you want, I'm going. See you later Sulli." Amber said as she walks out holding on to a stoic Minzy.

 

Somehow, it was the last time he was able to meet Minzy as his calls, texts and visits were ignored. Not only that, Amber who confronted him gave him a punch and threatened him about going near his girlfriend. He started to sink into his own misery when his hyungs who knew about the problem gave him a cold shoulder. However, as he continue to train hard during music shows and the tour to keep his mind of Minzy, he never gave up trying to contact her during his free time. He broke off with Sulli who was oblivious to the ongoings and receive another bunch of insult especially by her members and some sunbaes in SM.

 

After being under scrutiny for so long by the people surrounding him, he finally get to meet Minzy again at SBS Gayo Daejun. She has dyed her hair purple as well as a hair so short that it was like a duplicate of Jongin's current hair. There was barely time for him to get to her as the dressing room was chaos. When he finally managed to get a glimpse of her due to her distinct hair, he was either pulled to the other side of the room for his performance or because the staff were trying to get things going in order. He somehow gave up temporarily at the state of the surrounding being packed and busy. When it was near the ending of the first half of the program, he managed to get front seat for 2ne1's performance. Minzy was stunning and fierce just like how he first saw her during the Fire days but on top of that she was filled with an ounce of iness flowing around her as she move her hips to the beat. That made Taemin missed her touch so much.

 

When they ended, he saw his hyungs clapping in satisfaction ofher performance and he too felt a little part of him glowed that her performance was being acknowledged by the sunbaes of the industry. Somehow, he tried to get closer to her backstage but she was already ushered out to the artists seats. Everything was in a daze till he was pulled out to perform with the SM7 group for 'Spectrum'. As it was prerecorded, they only came out to dance in front of the audience as the next artists prepare behind them. It was only then that he got to finally get a glimpse of Minzy who was looking at him intently. He danced his heart out and even tried to stay behind a little to look at his girlfriend longer before his hyung pulled him off stage.

 

He thought that he was able to at least talk to her secretly but when he get to get close to her, fate wasn't on his side as he had to perform another number. He almost sighed out in frustration when he was being dragged away from her. After the performance, he was told to go to the artists seats and he excitedly rush there hoping to see her but she had disappeared backstage and he had no choice but to seat with his hyungs. Throughout the rest of the event he tried to enjoy the show but he couldn't help but be very unenthusiastic as he waits for the event to end, hoping that at least he could be near her.

 

Again, he was being pushed in front by his hyungs and he end up being far from Minzy who was at the corner of the stage bowing to the audience and the other artists. By the time he was done with his greetings, Taemin rushed backstage in hopes to talk to her but failed yet again when he learned that they left because backstage was too crowded. He grunts and stomps his way to his hyung.

 

The next event was no different, he does not even get to see Minzy off stage except for the last part when they were about to end the MBC Gayo Daejun. Yet again, being in SM, the artists tend to be at the frontline when it comes to greeting so he barely get to see her again. However, just when they head backstage, he pushed his way through the crowd of artists to spot the purple hair, hoping that he could at least see her again. Probably his determination got the better of him that he finally got to get hold of Minzy who at first was reluctant before giving in to him. He immediately pulled her to the secluded area of the place before taking in her looks. Suddenly he got tongue tied.

 

"Oppa." Minzy called out to him and it broke him from his daze as he got bewitched by her voice.

 

"Minzy ah. You were great tonight and you look stunning today, at SBS and any other day." Taemin blurt out.

 

"Err thanks. Why did you pull me here oppa?"

 

"I wanted to talk about me, about us, about you."

 

"It's over between us oppa, what will Sulli think if she sees you with me?" Minzy asks calmly.

 

"I broke up with her Minzy ah. It was my mistake, I was too caught up in being jealous of Young Deuk" Taemin said but Minzy glare at him.

 

"I said before he is...."

 

"I know Minzy ah, I know. He is just a close oppa to you but it was my own fault to make that as an excuse to cheat on you. I'm sorry Minzy ah."

 

"It's... it's ok oppa."

 

"Minzy ah. Please.. Be angry with me, scold me, beat me. Just don't be nice to me please."

 

"Oppa..."

 

"I beg you Minzy ah. I was too stupid and clouded by jealousy that I did many unjust deeds."

 

"I..." she was about to continue when her phone rang.

 

"Yoboseyo?" 

 

"Neh, I'll be there soon." she said before she hung up the short call.

 

"I have to go oppa." she said in a haste but Taemin pulled her wrist.

 

"Minzy ah, please. Give me a chance."

 

"I'll call you oppa. Just let me go, I have to get going before my unnies start to worry."

 

"Please Minzy ah, just look at me again once more. I'll change, I'm sorry."

 

"Oppa, I have to go, I'll see you when I see you," Minzy said as she pull her wrist from his grip and walk away.

 

"Minzy ah, I'll wait for that call. You won't ever break that promise right?" he ask after her but all he got was her disappearing back.

 

Since that day, he has been holding on to cell phone for any calls that might be from Minzy. Though months have passed and still nothing from her, he never stopped hoping. Even during music shows when he tried to get her to look at him, he always end up either being far from her or their performance clash. He made a vow that he intends to keep waiting until she calls him. If this was his punishment for what he did, he is willing to be patient.

 

It was one night during his birthday that he received a phone call from her. He left his hyungs and friends as he rushed to pick her call in private.

 

"Oppa. Saengil chukaheyo." her voice made him all giddy again as he finally got his wish.

 

"Minzy ah."

 

"Thank you for calling. You don't know how much have I waited."

 

"Like you said oppa, I don't break promises." 

 

They talked for a little before they hung up and though it was not spoken through the phone on their status, he knew that that phonecall from her is a chance she gives to him to work back into her heart. She is finally giving him a second chance again after almost a year and Taemin couldn't be anymore happier than today. This time, he will only focus and trust her and this time also, he will work hard to make her look at him again in a different light than before. He gave his widest smile as he walk back into his party.