We were best of friends since diapers but I didn't notice how much you meant to me till she comes along. When you kept giving her your attention, unknowingly, I felt a stab on my chest. Suddenly, it all felt wrong. I started to dress up more like a lady, more like her, but all I got was constant laughter from not only our circle of guy friends but also from you. You, Lee Taemin, have slashed me deeply that day but at least I knew that I didn't give up. I tried to court you, forgetting for that period to get your attention that I am a girl and how I must have looked like in the eyes of others. They probably thought I'm desperate. Ironic how I used to make fun of these kind of ladies when now I, Gong Minzy, have fallen into the same trap. Karma you may say?

 

It was only our love for soccer that kept us together but I think you too started to notice how I am drifting away. I wasn't the girl you knew. I wasn't the friend you rely on. I was slowly turning into a stranger. Somehow, despite that little part of your concern towards me, you can't help but still ignore my existence entirely as she blinded you with her beauty. The fact that there are guys going after her made you even more desperate to get her attention, even to a point of breaking my heart.

 

I remembered clearly how I felt when you confessed to me on the soccer field but most importantly, I remembered your expression of sincerity and love. I happily accepted thinking that it was a wonderful wish I could hope for but what I got was you crushing me like a bug when you told me that you hope she gave you the same reply that I just did. I laughed it off with you as I felt my eyes burnt. When you noticed my tears, all I told you was that I was happy that my best buddy finally find the love of his life. You laughed at how silly I was and hope that I would find my partner too before turning your back on me. What you didn't know was when you ran away after hugging me for comfort, I fell down on my knees on the soccer field that we used to play together.

 

Months passed and I started separating from you but being the best bud, you wouldn't leave my side. You even introduced her to me, Choi Jinri, was her name but she said I could call her by her nickname, Sulli. I could tell that she adore me as well and tried to be friendly but you jokingly told her that I am not into being friends with girls. That somehow came out as an insult that adds salt to my wound.

 

It hurt even more when we sat together and you were being intimate with her in front of me, oblivious of how I might feel. When she was busy with her activities, only then you remembered of my presence. You 'accompanied' me when in actual fact you were actually waiting for her to finish so you could send her home. I slowly felt indifferent to the feelings of pain and the endless tears I cried to myself before I sleep.

 

Graduation was nearing and appa suddenly said that he got promoted and that we are moving away from Seoul to UK. Somehow, learning about the news make me happy but at the same time, i was sad. No matter how I tried to convince myself that it will all work out when I finally get to start anew, I still cried remembering the times you hurt me. I was suppose to remember the good memories damn it! But, the pain you put me through overcame all your good deeds. I'm sorry Lee Taemin but I shall leave you for good this time. You can finally be with Sulli without me by your side.

 

I told the rest of our circle that I'm going on a holiday but I didn't tell them where and they didn't ask from me as well except when will I be coming back. I just gave them a vague answer which they happily accept, you can say that being guys, they are pretty laid back. Somehow, them not pestering me makes me a little happy. At least I will be gone in silence. I wanted to tell you but I hold back and decide against it, I even told my mom to not inform his parents. It was to that extend that I care for you to not make you worry. A selfish act you may say but it's my goodbye to you.

 

I was flying off on the night of graduation so I did not attend the ceremony at all. I informed the school and was told that they could send me the certificate at my new address. That made me glad that I don't have to go through much trouble at all. So it was that night, 8 years ago, that I left Seoul and I left you, Lee Taemin, my first love.

_______________________________________________________________________________

The first few months in UK, I had a hard time adjusting in college. Language barrier was an issue but thank goodness I was able to pick it up fast. Somehow, I have never been more grateful to Mrs Kwon for the English lessons in Seoul. I worked hard to get my mind off things and somehow, I was able to gain popularity in school due to my sudden interest in dancing, something I took up in the many activities I got involve in to fill my schedules to the brim. It was also in the dancing class that I met this annoying brat, Kai. We always get into an argument and somehow or another we tend to be stuck in the same dance slot.

 

It took years of annoyance and getting at each other's head that I finally got to know the real Kai or Kim Jongin. Even more coincidental that when I ended college, we were in the same university pursuing a career in the same field. Spending time with him somehow made me guilty that I even compared him to Taemin but as we spend more time together, I fell for his real charms instead of the ones I compared him with my then best friend. That was the most wonderful feeling ever and the most memorable was when he actually took away my first kiss and also his to be exact. I smiled at that memory that was 5 years ago.

 

Now, Jongin, my husband that I am newly married to is buying tickets for both of us at an amusement park. His idea of having a honeymoon and spending it at an amusement park. He is such a child at heart and that made me smile at the thought of him. My heart in bliss as I wonder what will it be like when I finally get to have a kid with him. Though he seem like a cold person, his childishness is bound to pamper the kid they are going to have together. I smiled thinking of it but just as I was getting into it, a little girl not far from me fell and scrap her knees. Being the caring person I am, I walked towards her when I noticed that she was alone and surprisingly, she didn't cry. It just seem coincidental that the girl is Korean. When I approached her, she looked a little frightened but replied me nonetheless.

 

"Hello little lady," 

 

"Hi," the girl stuttered, holding on to her blooded knees. 

 

"That looks painful, let me clean you up? Where are your parents dear?" Minzy carried her to the bench she was sitting on previously.

 

"I don't know, appa told me not to run from him and now I'm lost," the little girl said with a pout and tears that are about to roll down her cheeks.

 

"How about your omma?"

 

"Omma went to heaven." she said with a smile and that thought stabbed at me a little.

 

"Oh~ So you must be here with your daddy alone?" I asked and the girl nodded.

 

"We'll find your dad after we clean this ok?" I said as I took out my emergency kit in the bag to clean the wound for her.

 

As I cleaned her wound, I asked for her name and was surprised at her answer.

 

"I'm Lee Minzy and I'm 5 years old." she said as she put out her palm to emphasize her age.

 

I laughed and I replied her that I have the same name. After cleaning her wound, I let her rest on the bench with me as we talked but halfway through, Jongin came back with the tickets.

 

"Baby.... Did you steal someone else's child?" Jongin jokes before continuing, "You better return this kid and be patient, it's probably already growing inside you."

 

I got wide eyed in his comment before smacking his arm. 

 

"Yah! There's a kid here!" 

 

"I'm kidding baby." my husband said before turning to the girl, "Would you want me to get you some snacks while we look for your dad?" Jongin said to her and she happily replied with a nod.

 

"Minzy's your name eh? I'm Jongin! You can call me Kai ahjusshi." my husband said with a smile and I couldn't help but adore him at that moment.

 

When Jongin was about to head off to buy the snacks, I volunteered to do it since my dear husband already bought the ticket and he happily oblige as he wait with Little Minzy.

 

I went off to the snack bar and tried to find some food for her to chew on. It took me awhile since I had a hard time deciding which was the best for her but end up buying something that I liked instead. When I walked back to where I left my husband, I notice that he was talking to a man, probably Little Minzy's dad.

 

Jongin who noticed my presence called me to hurry as I stood beside him before bending down to Little Minzy to pass her the snack who surprisingly blurt out that she loves the same sweet. The girl got me amazed again that not only we have the same name but have the same taste in sweefs. That made me smile as I think of my future child with Jongin. I stood up straight to greet the father of Little Minzy when I saw that familiar feature of my first love, Lee Taemin.

 

Jongin nudge me to greet him but I got too shocked to even react, here he was, the man who used to be my biggest heartache. 

 

"Gong Minzy?" Taemin asked.

 

"This is a dream right?" Taemin said in a smile.

 

"You two know each other?" my husband asks.

 

"Yeah, she is my best friend till she decides to run away from me." Taemin frowned.

 

"Baby, you're bad even when you are in Seoul?" Jongin jokes not knowing the whole situation.

 

I kept my silence as I stared at Taemin and intertwined hands with my husband.

 

"Are you both like best friends as well?" Taemin asks.

 

"No, we're married." I said coldly and I saw that little disappointment in my used to be best friend's eyes before he covered it again.

 

"Congratulations! Guess being away from me makes me a stranger huh?" Taemin asks with malice as he hid it behind the laughter.

 

Before I could reply, Little Minzy was already pulling on Taemin's jeans to enter the park. 

 

"Well, your daughter can't wait to enter. If time persists, maybe we'll meet again." Jongin said as he holds my hand and said his farewell to Little Minzy.

 

That day, I thought would be the last time I saw Taemin but unfortunately, I had one last meeting with him at the hospital where I was having a check up for my 4 months pregnancy. Jongin said that he would come at a later timing since he had some work to finish before knocking off and I forgave him for that.

 

I was sitting down waiting for my turn when I heard a little girl call me and I was surprised that Little Minzy was at the same hospital. I greeted her but my smile did not last long when I saw Taemin coming over. 

 

"Minzy ah." 

 

"Mmm.."

 

"Is this how you treat your best friend that you abandoned?"

 

"I abandoned?"

 

"Don't start this with me Minzy ah."

 

"Well, for starters we are in the hospital and secondly your daughter is here. A living proof of your relationship with Sulli. Why are you still bothering me?"

 

"Can't we talk?"

 

"No!" I said and right after that, I was called in by the doctor soI  left Taemin as I slowly walked towards the consultation room.

 

The doctor informed told me that the baby is healthy and some other normal reminder to take in good food as well as to take care of myself before letting me off.

 

When I got out of the room to make my payment, Taemin was already there on my behalf paying for my fees. That frustrates me somehow but knowing well where I was, I just kept quiet and glared at him, preparing to give him a piece of my mind when we are out.

 

Taemin seems to have left Little Minzy elsewhere as he tried to get me to talk to him in the hospital garden. After pleading, i gave in to him and walked together as I unwillingly listened to his side of the story on how he tried searching for me and was shocked that I left without any notice. The story goes on as he somehow settled down with Sulli. His happiness was not long as she died delivering Little Minzy. It got me slightly emotional but no tears were pouring out, I guess drained from all those that was let out years ago. After he ended his sappy story, I stood up and was about to leave but he hold me back.

 

"Aren't you at least going to tell me how have you been?" Taemin pleaded. 

 

"I miss you Minzy ah. No one was able to fill your spot as my best friend, not even Sulli."

 

I laughed and though it may seem mean, tears started rolling down my cheels.

 

"You don't even know half of it Taemin ah. My heartache, my tears, my sorrow. You know nothing about what you did that hurt me so deeply yet here you are coming back to my life demanding to know how I've been."

 

Taemin was shocked when I blabbered at what I went through when he got together with Sulli which got him to express different emotions in one go that it almost made me laugh. Somehow, as I blurt out my side of the story, I found myself softening and somehow, seem to have a whole weight lifted off my shoulders.

 

"Minzy ah.. I didn't know..."

 

"You don't have too." I said, signs of relief rushing through me.

 

"But..."

 

"No.. it's ok Taemin ah. I'm happy with my husband now. He is all I ever had and he taught me so much about love that nothing you did is incomparable with. I had my say but really, I wish we never meet again. I forgive you for unknowingly hurting me and I apologise for your loss about Sulli. I'm sure your daughter will turn out great to be like you and I realy wish you the best Taemin ah. However, this is my goodbye to you."

 

"Minzy please.." Taemin begged.

 

"No Taemin, don't make this any harder. I'm over you but I need to start afresh with my husband and my child without having to worry about the past. It's best if we go our separate ways now."

 

"Min..."

 

"I'm sorry Taemin but this is goodbye. I hope the best for you and your kid. Be a good daddy and don't let the boys get to her. It's what you always tell me remember? Well, goodbye." I cut him off with a smile before I tiptoe to give him a peck on the cheeks and walk away from where I left him.

 

When I walked out of the garden, I felt so relieved that I finally get to let out my pent up feelings that even when that annoying husband of mine came to pick me up from the hospital, I can't help but greet him lovingly. Jongin was shocked but still didn't stop being the annoying husband imitating his favourite Pororo character. Oh well, at least I have his childishness to myself. 

 

Even though it was a long journey of heartache, I finally let go of Taemin. I'm finally over you.