note: Sorry, I meant to post this for his birthday (like 2348247 weeks ago), but a lot of stuff came up all at once. I've been a hot mess. xD Anyway, this oneshot is related/a continuation from this.

 

[ twelve kisses | getting over it ]

 

Maybe they just don't look appealing. Or he can tell that I've never kissed anyone, so he doesn't wanna be the first... Oh, God, what am I even doing?!

 

It was a dangerous train of thought, but one that ran rampant once let loose. And right now, it was going the speed of light.

 

You pouted at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, dropping your hand from your lips and groaning at the rush of negativity. It was a little hard not to let yourself get carried away when it came to thoughts related to a certain dancer though.

 

Two months. Two months since your insane dreams crossed the boundaries and became reality. Two months since Jongin kind of tiptoed around an adorable little speech and asked you out on a date. A proper, more-than-just-your-brother's-friend-tagging-along-to-keep-you-company-so-you-don't-become-a-third-wheel type of date. Eight weeks, give or take, of you dealing with a constant nervous fluttering in your stomach wondering if it would finally be the moment he leans in for a kiss.

 

Two months...

 

Maybe he just doesn't wanna kiss me...

 

You wanted to sob, but you just plopped down on top of the closed toilet seat, blowing air between your lips. It didn't seem like an unreasonable wish, especially considering how long you'd dreamed for Jongin to even say he liked you... but then, maybe two months wasn't enough time for him. Maybe you were just being too giddy, overexcited.

 

You couldn't be blamed that badly though, could you? With how attractive Jongin was – those eyes, those lips...

 

Your palms smacked against your cheeks, and you squealed harshly. Alright, this was not helping. Something else had to be going on here, and you had to find out what it was before it drove you insane.

 

---

 

“Hey, Sehunnie...”

 

You hopped off the final step with a loud groan. And you almost fell back onto it when your brother came sprinting out of the kitchen.

 

“Oh my G-!”

 

“Sorry, ___! Can't talk, gotta go see Jieun! Oh, by the way, Jongin's here!”

 

“Wh-wha-?”

 

Breathless and sprawled out at the bottom of the steps, you gaped at your brother's retreating back as he ran out to the driveway, working to yank his jacket over his back while he simultaneously tried to open the car door.

 

“Tsk.” The gentle click of a tongue brought your eyes up. “I hate it when he does that. Are you okay?”

 

Gentle hands reached around to urge you to your feet, cradling you against a warm chest as your suddenly numb form was examined for any injuries. “J-Jongin...” you murmured, aware that you sounded entirely too disoriented.

 

“___? You okay? Did he hurt you?”

 

“N-no...”

 

“You sure?” A warm palm met your already burning face, his cheek pressing against yours affectionately.

 

“Y-yeah, I'm sure,” you stuttered, winding an arm awkwardly around his torso. “I didn't realize you were coming over.”

 

“Oh, right. Sorry. It wasn't really planned. Sehun asked me to come over to look at something, then I guess he got a call from Jieun... Umm...” He glanced down at you briefly before looking from side-to-side, as if just noticing the audibly empty house. “I can leave if you want.”

 

No! You didn't want him to leave! This might be your only opportunity for a long time to finally have him alone. Alone, in a quiet, empty house with no disturbing brother to ruin your impromptu plans for a perfect, romantic first kiss. Here goes nothing...

 

“N-no, that's okay. I missed you,” you murmured, tucking yourself against him in a stiff embrace.

 

He returned it with a self-conscious chuckle. “I missed you too, ___.”

 

Okay. All of a sudden, your heart decided it wanted to swing on your ribs like they were monkey bars and drop down to tango with your inconveniently hyperactive stomach. “So you'll stay?” At his silent nod, you smiled. “Do you wanna watch a movie then?”

 

“Uhh... Sure.”

 

You led him to the living room, your face pulling into a determined look. Nothing would deter you from your mission. If he wasn't going to make the first move, then you would just have to take initiative.

 

---

 

“Ow!”

 

The world is out to punish you for some mistake you made in a past life. Of this, you were sure.

 

“Babe, are you okay?” Jongin's worried inquiry came out in a higher-than-usual pitch, his arms winding around your torso as he lifted you up from your unceremonious position on the floor.

 

“I'm fine,” you said huffily.

 

Except you weren't. Because you were willing to bet a million dollars you didn't have that Jongin had been trying to avoid kissing you – adamantly, at that – for the past hour. An hour that you'd managed to strait jacket your kicking and screaming pride in order to even push yourself to initiate something. He was being purposely difficult. Because you were quite sure that it couldn't have been comfortable for him to practically hold you at arm's length while he “stretched his back” – for an obscene amount of time. And it couldn't have been coincidence that he managed to duck and shove you away at the same time you were moving to plant one on him – and only on his cheek, at that. Hell, he wouldn't even let you rest your head on his shoulder. Typically, Jongin was the one who liked to touch and cuddle, showering you with affection while you two spent time together.

 

Something is definitely up...

 

Jongin guided you into a sitting position in the middle of the couch as he knelt down by your feet, frowning up at you. “What happened? I didn't push you, did I?”

 

Well, not that time, you thought with a roll of your eyes. That time, embarrassingly enough, you'd just overestimated the distance of his head – you blamed bad peripheral vision for that – and went in for the kill with a little too much fervor. Bad combination.

 

“No, Jongin. I'm fine.”

 

“Are you sure? Are you hurt anywhere? Let me see.” He grabbed hold of your bare knee, moving to examine your entire leg.

 

You jerked away from his hold though, shaking your head. “N-no, Jongin. I'm fine, I swear.”

 

“You sure? I'm sorry, ___. I don't know-”

 

“Jongin, I said I was fine!”

 

Both of your eyes went wide at your screeched outburst, the room suddenly filling with palpable tension. The buzz of the TV was muted behind the ringing in your ears.

 

“O-okay...” Jongin glanced around, running a hand through his hair with a worried twitch of his lip. “But...”

 

You grabbed his shoulders without thought, hopping to the edge of the couch to get as close as possible without kneeing him in the ribs. Lips puckered, you just leaned forward.

 

Only to feel the hard protrusion of his clavicle with an awkward, smothered 'hmph!'

 

“_-___!”

 

Completely flustered, you unlatched your mouth from the fabric of his t-shirt and shot up to your feet, breathing heavily with mortification. You couldn't even manage to look down at him before your eyes rimmed with tears. You needed to get away from this. Now.

 

With a broken sob, you sprinted out of the living room, ignoring Jongin's sputtering calls behind you. You ran up the stairs, almost making it all the way to your bedroom door before you were caught by the ankle and sent hurtling to the floor with a shriek.

 

“Oh, ! ___!”

 

“Ow!” You rolled onto your back, moving purely on adrenaline as you kicked, pushed, and screamed. Still, Jongin managed to crawl over you, dragging himself over your body like a warm, extremely-pleasant-smelling blanket. “You , get off me!”

 

“___!”

 

Closing your ears against whatever he was about to say, you fisted your hands and pushed at his shoulders, punching but still trying to minimize the damage. You just wanted him to go away now, so you could at least deal with the rejection all alone and in peace.

 

“Get off me, Jongin!”

 

“___! Will you calm down for a second!” He caught your hands in his strong hold, pinning your swinging arms by your wrists on the plush carpet. “Calm down!”

 

It took a few minutes of glaring and squirming, but after realizing it was a losing battle, you finally gave up struggling. You lay underneath him on the floor at the top of your stairs, panting while you fought back the sting of tears.

 

“___. Jeez, what the hell is going on with you?”

 

“With me?” The nerve of this man! “If you didn't wanna be with me anymore, all you had to do was say so, Jongin!”

 

“What? What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“Did you wanna break up, is that it? Finally realizing now that it was probably a bad idea to be dating your best friend's sister? Or are you just getting too much about it to put up with it anymore?”

 

You didn't even realize you were crying until Jongin's hand came up to swipe the stream off your cheek. “Jesus, ___, what are you even talking about?” he hissed softly.

 

You stared up at him – his beautiful face full of worry for you. It just made the sobs fall out of your mouth unbidden. “G-get off me... please.”

 

Reluctantly, Jongin did as he was told, moving off and allowing you to sit up. As soon as you could, you scooted to the closest wall. Away from him. You buried your face into the crook of your tucked knees, resisting the tears as much as you could.

 

“___... Please, what's wrong?”

 

“Jongin, if you didn't wanna kiss me, all you had to do was say so.”

 

The stark, cricket-noises-in-the-background silence that settled between the two of you was almost suffocating. You didn't raise your head, but you could just barely make out the shadow of Jongin's form a few feet away.

 

“I-is that what this is about?”

 

“I get it, okay? You don't wanna be my first kiss. I understand now. At least do me the kindness of going home so I can cry about it in peace, okay?”

 

You weren't normally so bold. Hell, you weren't normally so demanding. Emotional, maybe... Especially when it came to matters involving Kim Jongin. But this – you just felt strange, and it didn't help that he was still around, silent as a rock but making his presence known by the conspicuous air of unease he was now exuding.

 

“___, I didn't-”

 

“Oh, God,” you groaned, throwing your arms over your head. “Jongin, seriously!”

 

“___! Will you just listen to me for a second!” A strong hand whipped your makeshift cover off, tugging until you looked up at him with a surprised, flushed face. “I didn't... I didn't wanna kiss you...”

 

Oh, like you needed the confirmation in so many words. Your heart felt like it was just going to fall out of your chest with a stuttered beat.

 

“N-no, wait. That's not what I meant. I mean, I do, but I just don't-” Jongin gritted his teeth in frustration. “.”

 

He stopped, closing his eyes as he took a deep, exaggeratedly long breath, then another, before he spoke again. This time, it was in a clear, concise manner. “I would love nothing more than to kiss you, ___.”

 

You choked on a soft sob. “B-but...?”

 

He scowled, his dark eyes shifting down to your toes. “B-but... I-” He paused, shook his head so his glorious hair swayed with the movement, then swallowed thickly. “It just feels weird.”

 

Weird. That was the best he had? Weird.

 

“What?” you mouthed.

 

“Let me explain, ___.” He held up his hands before settling them gently on your knees. “It just-”

 

“Just what...?” you murmured in disbelief, feeling the shock ebbing away to be replaced by a startling disappointment. He feels weird about kissing you. Great. This was over.

 

“Promise me you won't think I'm crazy, okay?”

 

“Jongin, I just spent the past hour trying to make a move on you. I deserve more than crazy right now, and we both know it.”

 

Despite the pressure of the situation, you both found yourselves chuckling. “Right,” he said, pushing your knees down until you were sitting crosslegged in front of him. He mirrored the position, taking both of your hands in his. “I guess whenever I think about kissing you... I always...” He glanced down and gulped. “...end up thinking about Sehun.”

 

Oh, God.

 

“Y-you're gay... For my brother...”

 

“___!”

 

“Wh-what?!”

 

“It's not that, you crazy woman! I mean, you being Sehun's twin! I know you two don't really look alike, but I can't help it, okay? I get these weird thoughts whenever I even consider it. And no matter how beautiful you look, no matter how much I'm itching to kiss you, I just can't seem to get over it. And believe me, I've been trying, ___. Really hard.”

 

You had to sit for a long moment just to digest all the information. And even as you replayed it for the sixth time in your head, it still didn't seem to make much sense. “You won't kiss me because you see my brother in your head? Jongin, really? I'm trying to understand, but it just comes out as a lame reason to me.”

 

His face went beet red. “Th-that's not fair.”

 

You raised an eyebrow. “Fair? You wanna talk about fair? I've been waiting for you to kiss me for two months, Jongin. And all you have to say for yourself is you end up thinking about my brother?” Your scoff came out sounding bitter.

 

“___.”

 

“My brother, Jongin...”

 

“___!”

 

“What?!”

 

“I'm gonna kiss you now.”

 

His statement hadn't even registered yet before you felt the gentle pressure of his mouth. Still, your response was instant. Your entire body relaxed, your eyes sliding closed. His lips were soft and warm, and his large hands came up to cup either side of your face as he poured an overwhelming rush of emotion into the kiss.

 

It was just as perfect as you'd imagined.

 

As he pulled back, hands still cradling your now-overheated face, you felt the brush of his hot exhale. “You're right.”

 

“Mm?” you mumbled, completely disoriented and wanting to bask in the moment a little longer.

 

“It was a lame reason.”

 

What was a lame reason? What was he even talking about? And why wasn't he kissing you again?

 

“Lame?”

 

“I'm sorry, ___. I really am. I didn't mean to make you cry...” His thumb smoothed over your cheek for emphasis. “And I didn't mean to make you wait. Believe me... I didn't wanna wait that long either...”

 

“All it took was me making a fool out of myself first,” you teased, finally opening your eyes to meet his guilty gaze. “It's okay.”

 

“It's not okay,” he muttered with a grimace. “I'm sorry.”

 

“Okay... How about a deal?”

 

He crooked an eyebrow at that, leaning over you with a hopeful smile. “Anything.”

 

“You can make it up for me by kissing me whenever I ask. And I mean, whenever. In public, in front of Sehun...”

 

Jongin blanched, and you could practically see the vision of your twin brother flashing in his mind. A split second later, he shuddered, which only confirmed your thoughts.

 

“Jongin.”

 

“S-sorry! I just can't- His freaking face haunts me, ___! It scares me.”

 

“Hey.” You snatched his face between your hands, touching your noses together. “Stay with me here. Focus.” You made a face at him before smiling. “Keep your eyes on me, and we shouldn't have a problem, right?”

 

A crooked grin touched his lips. “Right... My girlfriend is beautiful.”

 

“And doesn't even look like her brother.”

 

“Mm,” he conceded with a chuckle. “It's just because I'm scared of what he'll do to me if I hurt her.”

 

“You should be scared of what your girlfriend will do herself if you hurt her,” you said with a snort. “Sehun won't have anything to find once I'm done with you.”

 

“Ooh, I'm so scared~”

 

“You should be.” You gave a playful growl. “Now, I would suggest you put those lips to work before your girlfriend gets impatient again.”

 

“I have to sacrifice my lips to appease her?” he asked with a rich laugh, tugging you into his lap and wrapping his arms around your waist.

 

“Yes. Otherwise, she might try to make a move again. That didn't turn out pretty the last time, remember?”

 

Jongin tilted his head, moving until your lips were centimeters apart. “Oh, I don't know about that. I kinda liked it.”

 

“Shut up and kiss me, Jongin.”

 

He chuckled, closing the distance with a breathy, “Yes, ma'am.”

 

---

 

end note: I feel like this turned out super crack-y. xD Maybe I should stop writing so late at night. But I was hit with some inspiration and figured I needed to just bust it out while I had the spirit. Hope you enjoyed, lovelies. ♥