3: Letting Go

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Yoona rushed to Seunghyun's side, with Sulli following behind her. They both had panic expression on their faces. "Choi Seunghyun, are you insane?"

Yoona didn't care anymore about formalities as she dropped formalities. Both of them squatted next to Seunghyun, each in one of his side. They began to examine his wounds and scratches. While Seunghyun gripped the piece of glass tighter—making his hand bleeds.

"Unnie, I'll get the aid box and call Doctor Shin here, can you..." Sulli said as she got up from her squatting position. Yoona nodded before Sulli could finish her sentence.

"Go ahead. I'll hand this man."

That time, Yoona immediately forced to open Seunghyun's palm and snatched the glass piece of his hand. Seunghyun grunted but remained on the same spot. He didn’t even flinch in pain.

“Why you have to do this?” Yoona asked in accusing manner. Not her fault though, she’s a sweet and caring woman, but not in this circumstances. She can be a scary lion if needed. “You could kill yourself.”

“I don’t care if God wants to take my life away!” Seunghyun exclaimed. He lay on the same position, hitting the floor with his clenched fist, while Yoona began to take the small glass pieces from his wound. “It will be better if he do so, though. So I don’t have to face this cruel world with these legs! It’s better to be dead rather than live but actually dead at the same time!”

“YAH!” Yoona didn’t hesitate to slap his arm lightly. “No matter what, be thankful that God still let you live in this world! Many people are willing to change their places to stand in yours, so stop complaining!”

“Dead is better than this kind of life!” Seunghyun said frustatingly. His expression was clear. He was frustrated. “I have no one to be with too, tough.” Then, Seunghyun began to laugh dryly, and Yoona couldn’t help but feel the sadness in his voice.

“If my parents don’t pay the hospital fee and the hospital doesn’t pay you for your work, I'm sure you won't give a damn about me. After all, I'm just a big mess.”

Suddenly, there was a falling sound came from the door direction. Seunghyun and Yoona immediately turned their head to the door, and found a woman stood there; with her eyes and mouth opened in shock.

“Seunghyun?”

“BOM?”

xxx

Seunghyun's POV.

“Seunghyun, I'm sorry..."

"What for?" I replied coldly from my bed. My wounds had been treated and wrapped in nice bandage. Doctor had visited and checked on me, and that talkative nurse, who? Im Yoona? Yeah, her, already lectured me to not do something stupid. All were done while Bom stood in the corner of her room, biting her lips and stared at me like I am an alien.

"Just... go Bom. Please." She has thrown me away from her life, hasn't she? 

“I'm sorry…” Again, Bom said to me while biting her lips. It’s a sign of her doubt.

Why I know about her gesture? Of course I know it, too well even. After all, she’s my fiancée for a year.

“I’m sorry for just visiting right now, after a month you got admitted because of that stupid accident. I’m sorry for your loss, I’m sorry for not being there when you need me the most…” She bit her lips once more; then, she took my hand in hers and held it firmly. “I’m sorry.”

I let out a deep sigh and tried to get up from my laying position. But I failed miserably and fell to her direction.

"Let me help you," Bom said as she helped me get up from my position. Oh man, that was a shame for me.

"Thanks."

Then, after I sat properly on the bed, and she sat again on the chair next to my bed, there was no word exchanged between us. It was a moment of pure awkward silence. And it felt weird, if I have to be honest. In my 3 years of relationship with Bom, there was no awkward silence at all. That was our first time.

"Seunghyun... Can you forgive me?" Bom broke out the silence by asking me that question. Her voice trembled, clearly showing her hesitancy and sorrow.

And honestly, I didn't know how I should answer her question. But I know that I always have a soft spot for her in my heart—the same also applies for Omma.

"Seunghyun?"

I let out a sigh. "Bom, can you please get out from my room?"

Bom looked startled at my answer. I could see her hands trembling from the corner of my eyes. "You can't forgive me, right?" She started to laugh, but it was clearly for hiding her sadness. "Yeah. I'm a cruel fiancée after all. When my fiancé is admitted to the hospital because of a stupid accident, which resulting of him being paralyzed, I wasn't there to accompany him. I was scared of the truth, that if I see you, I'll crumble into pieces. I can't stand the fact that my perfect fiancé is paralyzed. He isn't the same as he used to be. And when I have mustered my courage to meet you, you pushed me away, I k..."

"Bom, stop. I don’t want to be harsh on you, so stop."

She immediately went silent, as I grasped her hand. I looked straight into her eyes so intensely, and she looked back at me with the same intensity. The difference was she had sadness and regret hidden in that intensity, while I only had frustration.

“You said it by yourself; you're scared of truth that I'm paralyzed now. I'm not your perfect fiancé anymore, Bom. There is no way to describe a paralyzed man as perfect.” I took a deep breath. Damn. I thought I don’t have to say this to her—even though I’ve