I’m sorry

I tapped my foot and crossed my arms as I waited for Jinki.

Where the heck is he? I’ve been waiting ages!

I looked up and down the same street for about the 50^th time. Pulling out my phone I decided to call him; I couldn’t wait anymore.

“Yah, Jinki! Where are you? I’ve been waiting for nearly an hour, the gym’s gonna close soon.”

“Oh, Kibum! I’m so sorry! I completely forgot to tell you, I’m at a cooking class.” He didn’t sound apologetic at all.

“A cooking class? Why are you at a cooking class!?”

“They were making chicken curry!” he shouted excitedly.

I sighed. “So you decided to mess up our schedule to make chicken curry?” Me and Jinki had made a carefully thought out timetable of what we would do together each day of the week. It was sad, I know, but it meant we could spend more time together before we both went of to college.

“It was in the name of chicken.” He said. I slowly closed my eyes and pressed two fingers to my temples.

“ so what – “ before I could finish I heard another voice on Jinki’s line.

“Who is it?” I heard the voice say.

“Yah, Jinki who was that?” I asked.

“Oh, it was my new friend Jonghyun. I met him at the class. And by the way, I promised him I would show him around town. He just moved here from Busan. Is that okay?” Jinki seemed really excited about this Jonghyun guy.

I was too tired and irritated to talk anymore.

“Yeah, okay. Whatever. Are you still coming round to watch a movie later?”

Luckily he said yes, but that was the best thing that happened that day.

How could Jinki forget about us playing tennis together? He was the one that chose to do it.

I walked home feeling like a complete idiot. As I walked I noticed the pitiful looks I was getting from people; like they could sense that I’d been stood up by my best friend for the first time.

I threw my gym bag and racket on the floor by the front door, went to my room and flopped on the bed. There was no point in having a shower as I hadn’t done anything yet. I texted Jinki to see how long the ‘Onew tour of Seoul’ was going to take. No reply. I moped around the house for a while and checked my phone 20 minutes later. Still no reply.

Sigh. I’m so bored.

I rolled around on my bedroom floor for a while, talked to the cat; who was too lazy to respond and tried to learn Morse code.

I’m still bored.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and I went to go and answer it. It was Jinki.

“Surprise”” He said. “Sorry I didn’t reply. My phone was off.” He gave a big smile, brightening his face and I couldn’t help but smile back.

2So what do you wanna watch?” I asked as he took his coat off.

“Godzilla!” He shouted.

“Godzilla? Again? But we always watch that.” According to our schedule of movie night, we’ve watched it a total of 7 times.

“Aww Kibum! One more time. Please!” He begged using all the Aegyo he could muster. “Next week we can watch whatever you want. I promise.”

“Okay okay. But this is the last time.”

We got the popcorn and drinks ready and settled down to watch ‘Godzilla’ for the eighth time. But I couldn’t concentrate. All the way through the movie Jinki’s phone was vibrating and all I could hear was the tapping of his fingers on the keys. I couldn’t help but glance across to see who he was so eagerly texting. Jonghyun. I should have guesses. What was so great about this guy that would make him ignore his favourite movie of all time?

When the movie ended I couldn’t help but be grateful. Together we cleared up the food and the rest of the room. When we finished I noticed Jinki wasn’t using his phone so I took the opportunity to ask him how his cooking class was, but before I could Jinki spoke.

“Kibum? Can we cancel going to the cinema tomorrow? Jonghyun invited me to a football game and you’re not really a sport fan so I thought you wouldn’t want to go.”

I tried to hold in my anger.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” Who is this idiot Jonghyun and why is he messing everything up?!

“Yaay! Thank you Kibum. I’ll see you later.” He said while putting on his coat and shuffled out of the room. How could he be so oblivious to how Jonghyun was affecting me?

The nest day I didn’t bother to call Jinki, I knew he’s be too busy with Jonghyun, and for the first time in nearly a year I did homework by myself. I didn’t need to do it for another week but I needed something, anything, that would help me forget about Jinki.

When I looked at the clock it was 5:30pm. The football game had to be over by then so I took the plunge and decided to call him; maybe I could go over to his house. I dialled the number. Answer machine. I threw my phone in frustration. It hit the wall, the back fell off and the battery fell out but I didn’t care. It wasn’t like he was going to call me back.  I squished my head in anger.

“Aaargh! That stupid idiot! Why is he being such a douche?!”

I couldn’t hold my anger in anymore. It wasn’t fair, I wouldn’t ignore him so why was he ignoring me?

I didn’t hear from Jinki for another 3 days after that. In that time I didn’t do anything. I didn’t go anywhere. I just stayed inside and wondered what was so great about Jonghyun. Was he really that good looking, charming and charismatic that he would abandon his own friend without a second thought? The new game I bought remained unplayed, the chicken I ordered uneaten and the new cinema tickets I bought to surprise him unused. It was all a waste.

I heard a knock at the door and went to open t, I instantly tried to close it but a foot interrupted Its course.

“Kibum.” Jinki said quietly.

Too angry to argue, I just turned around and sat at the dining table and didn’t say anything.

“Kibum, I’m sorry.” He said and looked down at his feet.

“Sorry!? Sorry!?” I shouted, tears stinging my eyes. “Is that it?”

“What else do you want me to say!?” Jinki shouted back.

“how about how much of a crappy friend you’ve been the past 4 days? How about the fact that you didn’t even bother to return even one of my calls?!”

“I – I” he started, but I cut him off.

“3 days Jinki! 3 days and you didn’t even text me once. What – what happened to us being best friends?” my voice started to crack and I had to whisper the last part just to stop the sobs that were threatening to break through.

Jinki didn’t say anything back. He just stood there looking at the floor.

“So I guess that’s how it is –“ I mumbled.

“No!” Jinki shouted and looked up, his wide eyes b with tears. “He was a liar.”

Confused, I looked back up at him. “A liar?”

“A – after the football game he asked me whether I wanted to see him play because he had a game the next day. I said yes and waited for him outside the grounds, but he never came, I phoned him and he didn’t answer.” He looked down at the ground in shame. “A – and that’s when I – I realised how much of a bad friend I was.” I heard Jinki start to snivel and he rubbed his tears away with the backs of his hands.

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, even though he’d gone through the same thing as me it was hitting him harder. My anger dissolved with every tear that he shed.

“Oh, Jinki.” I got up and went over to hug him. “I’m sorry for being such a jealous jerk.”

“No. it’s my fault, I’m the jerk. I shouldn’t have left you.” He stepped back and looked at me, his hands still on my shoulders. “ why are you  crying?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” I replied and couldn’t help but laugh at my own idiocy.

“Haha! Come here.” Jinki pulled me back into a tight hug. “I really am sorry Kibum.” He said, his voice muffled by my shoulder.

“It’s okay. I forgive you. So, best friends?” I asked.

“Forever.” He gave me another of his dazzling and extremely disarming smiles.

“So. How about another round of ‘Godzilla’? and I ordered some chicken earlier.”

“*gasp* Really!?” his eyes sparkled. “Let’s go!” and he ran towards the kitchen.

I laughed as I followed him, all the anger and frustration was gone and everything was back to how it was supposed to be. But I couldn’t help wondering what had happened to Jonghyun. Maybe something bad happened to him? I didn’t even know him but I couldn’t help but feel concerned. But that would have to wait until another time because right now I have chicken to eat and ‘Gozilla’ to watch with my best friend. Lee Jinki.

.