March 10, 2009

For two days, he continued to sit there, refusing to move an inch, strumming repeatedly the same tone as he braved the cold fall weather. He hadn’t eaten or slept in the time and his fingers were raw and bleeding. However, none of this mattered. He was waiting for someone and if it meant giving his life up, he would do so gladly.

“Who are you?”

Looking up, Jonghun saw a middle-aged man, no later than his 40’s, standing in front of him with a packet of papers and envelopes in one hand.

“Are you the mailman?”

“No. I’m the manager of this apartment. I just deliver the mail to the units. Now who are you and what are you doing here?”

“I’m waiting for my friend.”

Looking at the door, the manager read the numbers inscribed upon the wooden mainframe. Unit 3290. Shuffling through the packet of papers in his arms, he found one envelope addressed to that number and placed it beside Jonghun.

“You friends with him?”

“Yes.”

“Take care of him.”

Giving Jonghun a curt nod, the manager continued along down the hallway. Staring at the envelope beside him, Jonghun realized that there was no name stated but only an address listed. Curious, Jonghun took the envelope into his hands and opened it. It was a postcard of the Arc de Triomphe in France, and on the back was his name. It was Hongki’s handwriting.

Jonghun,

Remember how my dream was to explore the world? Well, I’m writing this letter to let you know that I’ll be embarking on that journey a lot sooner than expected. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone for exactly but I’m guessing it’ll be twenty years or so. Actually, my departure was so sudden that I couldn’t take Ah-jik with me so I’ll be leaving him with you. I know this seems downright rude but I hope you’ll understand. Take good care of him for me.

Hongki

Droplets of water began to fall from Jonghun’s eyes as he continued to stare down at the postcard. The one person who was his everything, his sole reason for being, had left him. Leaving his things there, Jonghun ran away desperately, leaving his guitar and everything else he had brought at that doorstep. He had lost Hongki.

...

March 11, 2009

2:23 PM

Staying true to his daily routine, the manager once again was seen distributing the mail amongst the corridors of his apartment, only this time, he was accompanied by an innocent looking, black-haired, younger fellow. Although a tad thin, he was an easy going and polite young man.

“Thank you once again for helping me on such short notice.”

“No no the pleasure’s all mine. Although it may not seem so, I’m actually quite fond of the boy…quite an enjoyable fellow that one.”

“Ah yes…” he replied smiling. “…I guess you could call my cousin that.”

“Still I would have never guessed that you were his cousin…er…”

“It’s Jaejin. Lee Jaejin.”

“Ah yes there we go. Jaejin. Anyways, take care of him…your cousin…he doesn’t seem to be so well these days…a little sickly if you know what I mean…”

“That’s why I’m here.”

“Ah here we are.”

Standing in front of the door, Jaejin read the numbers inscribed into the wooden door. Room 3290. Unhooking one of the keys from his keyring, the manager handed it to Jaejin.

“Here it is. I must be on my way then.”

“Thank you.”

Waving his hand, the middle aged man walked along his way, leaving Jaejin alone. Taking a deep breath, Jaejin inserted the key into the keyhole and turned it, unlocking the door and stepped inside. He was immediately greeted by a white pup, who tugged away affectionately at his foot. “How have you been Ah-jik? Did you miss me?”

WOOF

WOOF

Ruffling its head, he continued, “I missed you too. By the way where’s Hongki hyung?”

WOOF

With that bark, the white pup quickly darted away towards the bedroom. Following suit, Jaejin quickly removed his shoes before making his way there too. When he arrived at the door, he saw the white pup slumped by the doorframe. It was whimpering.

When he opened the slightly closed door and stepped inside, a sorrowful smile formed on his face and tears began to flow. The bed wasn’t made and a half full cup of water was at the bedside. Below it on the floor was a packet of pills and next to that was Hongki, who laid there perfectly still. His right arm and fingers were outstretched, as if he were desperately trying to reach something and his left hand was upon his chest. The very tip of his right finger was on his cellphone, which lay just beyond his reach. The ghost of his last tear was still faintly etched upon his cheeks. Walking over, Jaejin fell to his knees and gently grabbed the phone and unlocked it. On the main screen were two banners.

5 Missed Calls.

1 New Voice Message.

Checking the call log, there were indeed five missed calls, all of which were signified by a large red ‘X’. They were all from the same person.

X Jonghun – 9:34 AM

X Jonghun – 9:35 AM

X Jonghun – 9:42 AM

X Jonghun – 9:53 AM

X Jonghun – 10:02 AM

Stifling his tears at the his cousin's unfortunate end, Jaejin muttered quietly, “Hongki hyung…you really loved him didn’t you?”

…

March 16, 2009

His eyes estranged as if contemplating some deep thought, Jonghun sat there, hugging his knees, completely motionless, next to the main door of his apartment, which remained unlocked. The tears had run out. It had been exactly five days. Five days since Hongki had left him. The youthfulness that his face had once sported was gone now and was instead replaced by deathliness. His cheeks were hallowed and his face was gaunt. Dark circles had settled in under his eyes and gray stubble had formed all over his mouth and chin. His stomach ached with hunger and his throat yearned for water but he learned to ignore it. Nothing mattered to him anymore.

KNOCK

KNOCK

His eyes darted towards the door and continued to stare at it. He could find no will to answer.

KNOCK

KNOCK

Still he did nothing. Then slowly, the door creaked open, allowing for rays of light gently shimmer into the dark void. Once the door had opened enough, Jonghun saw a man step. He held a box in his arms. The man looked around for a few moments before finally locating Jonghun on the ground.

"I'm not in the mood to take any visitors," Jonghun answered coldly.

“Are you Jonghun?”

At the sound of his name, Jonghun’s eyes scurried towards the man. He had never seen him before.

“Who are you?” Jonghun asked weakly.

“My name is Lee Jaejin and I’m Hongki’s cousin. I was told that a person named Jonghun lives here. I have something to pass onto him from my cousin.”

“It’s me…I’m Jonghun.”

Opening the door even further, just enough light entered into the small apartment so that Jaein could locate the light switch. Flipping it on, a bright instant of white showered the apartment, causing both men to squint their eyes momentarily. Once his eyes had adjusted, Jaejin angled his head and stared down at Jonghun with a baffled expression.

“What are you looking at me like that for?”

“I’m sorry. I was told to look for Choi Jonghun.”

“I told you…that’s me.”

“Really? Because the Choi Jonghun described to me by my cousin is completely different from the ‘Choi Jonghun’ I’m looking at right now.”

“ off.” Jonghun muttered silently.

Ignoring the man’s words, Jaejin continued on, “You see…the Jonghun I’m looking for is one that’s smart, outgoing, and full of life. He’s a type of person that never gives up, no matter how hopeless things may seem. He motivates those around him to try harder –“

“…Stop…”

“– And he always protects those precious to him, even if it is as his own cost. He renounces popularity and prefers to spend quality time with those truly close to him. Finally, he would never –“

“…I said stop…”

“– Be seen slumping around like that –“

“I SAID STOP!”

Everything grew silent. Setting the box down on the floor, Jaejin softly undid the cover, allowing for a furry, four legged, white animal to roam free amongst the apartment. As soon as it was allowed, the dog looked around the unfamiliar environment before registering Jonghun’s presence, thereupon immediately sprinting towards him and settling down next to him. Staring at the dog, memories of Hongki began to flood his mind “Why?...Why did he leave me?...Why didn’t he just take me with him?”

“Because he wanted a home to come back to…Hongki hyung and I…we were pretty close…before he left, we met a couple of times and when we did…he would always talk about you Jonghun…about how much you mean the world to him..." Sighing, he continued, “Exploring the world…it may be fun and all but its also dangerous and knowing Hongki hyung, he probably didn’t want to put you guys in harms way. So what if he left you here? He entrusted you with his most precious possession so that one day, when he's done with all his exploring, he knows that he would have a home to come back to.”

Hearing this, Jonghun looked silently at the young pup before taking it into his arms. “J-Jaejin…”

“Yes?”

“I-If you ever meet him again…can you pass on one thing for me?”

“Sure.”

“Tell him that I’ll wait for him…that no matter how long it takes I’ll stay right here...silently cheering him on and waiting for his return.”

-:-

January 2, 2013

His fingers resting on the guitar chords, the musical man continued to stare at his dog. It was getting dark now. With most everyone having gone, the park was now almost completely empty and void of life. Slowly, the streetlights sparked to life one by one. Looking to the sky, he felt drops of water slowly fall upon his face. Cold and shivering, the white dog hurriedly ran under the bench where the man was sitting, and curled himself up into a little ball. “I’m sorry boy…”

Removing his coat, he gently draped it over the dog below, and returned to his seat on top. It was raining now. His hair wet, and his clothes drenched, the trembling man ignored the cold and once again reached for the guitar. Placing his hands accordingly, he asked the dog, “Do you want to hear a song? I’ll even sing this time.” It whimpered.

“Sorry boy…it seems that all I can do for you right now is this…”

And without hesitation, he began to play, allowing for the melancholy melody to resonate throughout the silent park.  

I promise you, when this moment passes by

And we finally get to see each other again

On that day,

I will throw everything away and stand firmly beside you

So that we can walk together the path that’s left for us

This is what we call “fate”,

It’s something we can’t deny

I wonder if I will ever experience a day so beautiful

As the one where I met you

You were a gift on this exhausting path of life

And you’re love is something I will continue to wash and shine

So that it won’t ever fade away

Our meeting was like a drunken affair,

But even then, you unbolted the gates to my heart

And took residence inside

Even if our love is unattainable,

I will not regret anything

Because nothing is forever

This is what we call “destiny”,

It’s something we can’t deny

I wonder if I will ever experience a day so beautiful

As the one where I met you

There is much I want to say, but you already know

When we meet each other again on that day,

Please don’t leave me and go away

The love we couldn’t have in this life

The fate we couldn’t have in this life

When we meet each other again on that day,

Please don’t leave me and go away

His fingers stopped. The final chord had been strummed. The song had ended. He was tired. Tired of trying. Tired of crying. Because even if he was smiling, on the inside he was dying.

“Jonghun…”

He couldn’t believe his ears. It was that voice. The voice he had yearned to hear again all those years. Staring up, he saw a man, dressed in all black. His hair was blonde, and he was holding a black umbrella. Tears began to drop from his eyes - tears of happiness. It was Hongki. His breath freezing in the damp air, he stuttered, “H-Hongki…y-you c-came back…”

Hongki smiled as he reached his hand out to the shivering figure. “Come on. It’s time to go.” As he took his hand, Jonghun felt a sense of warmth radiate from the inside. Everything seemed so beautiful again, and for the first in a long time, he felt joy. Whether the figure before him was indeed a figment of his imagination or reality, he did not know. All that mattered was that he was happy. He was happy again.

…

As the morning sun rose from its deep slumber, rays of warm light radiated throughout, encompassing all those within the immediate vicinity. In the distance, two figures could be seen walking down the narrow road of the park. One was taller than the other. Pointing to the figure on the bench, the taller one announced excitedly, much to the other’s annoyance.

“Hyung! Hyung!”

“Aish. What now, Seunghyun?! Can’t we just enjoy this beautiful morning walk peacefully?”

“But Jaejin hyung! There’s somebody over there!”

Craning his head towards where the younger was pointing, there indeed was somebody on the bench. Hunched over his guitar, the man was perfectly still, his hands in position. It was as if he was going to start playing at any given moment. Curious, the two walked over to the hunched man and squatted down in attempts to peer into his obscured figure. His head crooned upwards, Jaejin looked with longing intent at the image presented before him. His eyes and nose were completely hidden by the long strands of hair, but his lips remained unconcealed. He was smiling.