I was humming to the song a thousand miles by vanessa carlton or rather i was belting it out while i was making dinner early that Friday evening. Its been 3 days since i last got a message from my ever missing date rather lover choi siwon...it was as if he disappeared from the face of the earth after telling me that he wont be able to make it for our lunch date...yes i am pissed but i can also be very forgiving. It was part of the unwritten contract that we somehow agreed on...no dramas, no expectations and no hang ups. A casual relationship between two responsible and mature adults, though the agreement suited most western couples and not both Siwon and I for we both came from strict asian families, though i grew up in the states but it doesnt mean my values arent as asian as anybody else. At first i thought i can handle it but as time passed it was hard to not react anymore, to be unfeeling...for i am not that type of girl, i like the man for crying out loud or rather i started to fall for him that is why i continue with this madness, to sleep with a man and not expect anything from him.

‘what have you gotten yourself into Ayumi!’ i silently scolded myself, it was all against my principles but like the song says i am just another woman in love...and yes i would do everything i can to make him stay.

What started out as casual dates between people who had a mutual attraction for each other turned out to be something more...and it ended up with me giving up everything for siwon...and that would include my innocence, yet i felt no remorse. Siwon as a kind, gentle and generous lover but i needed more for him, i just couldnt tell him myself that i want something more than just a bed partner or a constant date...but he told me before we even started seeing each other that he can only do casual relationships for he doesnt have the time for anything serious...but why the hell are the rest of his brothers in super junior found time for romance...is it him or was it me?

I shook my head at the way my thoughts were going, i knew i shouldnt be asking for more because if i did i would be sure to lose him and that was something i cant handle right now. I was about to get some potatoes for the stew i was making when the doorbell made its usual noise, not that i was expecting anyone. I already turned down a couple of offers from the suju wives for a night out.

‘hai...i’m coming’ i called out as i checked the peephole and much to my surprise it was a delivery boy from a famous seoul flower shop and judging from the flower arrangement it was one of the most expensive arrangements that the shop offered.

‘flowers for Ayumi-sshi...’ he said with a smile as he held out the bouquet of red roses ‘please sign here...’

‘uhh kamsahamnida...’

I closed the door after the delivery guy left and stared at the flowers in my arms and tried to look for a card, and when i found one it wouldnt take a genius to figure out who sent it...Siwon would always send me expensive flowers and gifts whenever he thinks he had done something not pleasing to me. It was his way of saying his sorry but apparently what the man didnt thought of was that i only need him...yet as i told myself time and time again i shouldnt expect more from a man who can only give what he can.

‘but what if i can change you choi siwon...would it be worth it?’ i whispered as i went back to the kitchen and placed the flowers on the kitchen counter. Last time he cancelled on a date he sent me 3 huge teddy bears plus a designer watch, that was a bit extreme and the other time he rented out the whole sushi bar just for the two of us because i was craving for sushi and he wasnt able to get me one on time. Others would say that he is doing all those because he cares for me, he probably does but at the end of the day,at the end of each date we would always end up in bed together. I am not complaining about the ...it was awesome everytime but i want something more from him and it was commitment he can never give me.

*Siwon’s Pov*

I was standing outside her condo unit after the delivery boy left, and i was debating whether to knock or not. I havent seen her for 4 days, nor have i called her after i cancelled our date together and i wasnt sure how she would recieve me,not that i deserve anything after disappearing on her without any word...but i hope roses would be the perfect start for me to apologize.

Seeing her that night, dressed only in her walking shorts and loose shirt, with her hair tied up artlessly on her haid, her pretty face devoid of any make up, showing her smooth and clear skin and her naturally pinkish lips made me want to just barge in and take her then and now but that wasnt me, though i am very much tempted to do that.

Our ‘relationship’ was unlike the relationship my brothers have, it was love at first sight for them or for some love gradually developed as they spent time together, for me and Ayumi it was clearly lust at first sight. We were both ually attracted to each other and we proved how great we can be together both in bed and out of it. Everyone would be surprised at how weird it all sound, the set up that we have but it worked out. I told her right from the start that i dont do love, yes i care for her but love was something so huge and a bit rare for me. I only loved one girl once and she let me down and i wasnt going to let that happen the 2^nd time around. If Teukie hyung and Lin-ah found out the kind of set up Ayumi and i have i am quite sure that they will want my head and castrate me for Ayumi wasnt that kind of girl, she was the type you can bring home to your parents and ask her to marry you. I wasnt the marrying type...i am not even capable of loving a woman. I have seen how my brothers fell for their wives, the love that they have for their wives was all genuine and pure but somehow i cant imagine myself falling that hard...i did once but it only gave me heartbreak and i wasnt going to repeat that mistake i am much older now and much wiser than i was before.

I moved to touch the doorbell and waited for my y siren to come and welcome me, it didnt take her long to do that for when she opened the door i smiled at her and pulled her in for a kiss.

‘siwon-sshi...people might see us’ she whispered between kisses.

I nodded as i let her go, we were both breathless after the kiss and i kissed her forehead ‘mianhe for our cancelled date...for not talking to you ayumi-ah, mianhe’ i whispered.

She bit her lip and nodded as she closed the door ‘come i’m making dinner...why dont you help me?’

‘i would rather have you for dinner and for dessert my ayumi...’ i whispered as i pulled her for another kiss...one that took my breathe away....

a/n: 

omo! 2 chapters in a day! i hope you guys are liking the updates :) its a bit naughty i know with lots of kissing scenes and i just cant help but imagine choi siwon as a god here...lol no though, i dont think i can write that part. do you think i should put this chapter for rated r? lol help!