Some say that true love could happen once in a lifetime. It’s not every day that you’ll meet a person who can turn your world upside down, someone who can make you feel lucky enough for having that person. It’s not every day that you can find the one who can make you feel complete, and make you love your life even more just because he’s in it. That’s why when people have finally found their true love, they tend to seize it, grab hold of it as much as they can, and do everything to not lose the one they love and the feeling, believing that they may never find another as great as what they already have.

The alarm clock blared not far on his right. His head that he had kept buried on his pillow tilted to take a peek at the blinking digits. 7:00AM. He looked past the raucous rectangular device, to the peering sun by the window, eyelids drifting shut as his chapped lips widened a little. He drew in the morning breeze of the 13th of July. It was another year; another year that he had kept as promised; another year to be added to a forever that he had been looking forward to.

He swung his arm towards his bedside table to silence the alarm, and got up vigorously from the bed. It’s their fifth anniversary, and as usual, he planned to spend his whole day with him. He sauntered on the wood parquet floor, headed for the bathroom, and hummed a happy tune, thoughtfully deciding on buying Sungmin his favorite bouquet of flowers at Jungsu’s shop.

Kyuhyun could boast that he was able to withstand it all; the setbacks that life and being in love had thrown at his direction, he victoriously went beyond and still managed to be the faithful man that he had been then and now. Isn’t it a bit fulfilling? To achieve something as simple as loving someone for so long without feeling tired despite the consequences and the struggles that you’ve had to go through, only hopeful of the further years to come, because you knew, inside of you, you knew that that person was worth your dedication, your love, and your lifetime. It had been 5 years and Kyuhyun remained to be the man who incessantly loved Lee Sungmin.

He padded through the arid floor of his bathroom, and somehow the cold tiles and walls caused a chill in his spine, bringing back memories when he experienced one of the major glitches in his relationship with Sungmin; that time when they were almost close to giving up.

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“Let’s stop seeing each other…” Sungmin trailed off as he stanchly gazed at the people that skated on the rink, their barks of laughter mingling with the Christmas Song.

Kyuhyun caught how unambiguously it was spoken, how it seemed as frosty as the ice underneath his trainers. The snow that somberly fell from the night sky slowly danced in the air, and a flake landed on the tip of his nose as he stared at Sungmin with eyes that resembled a glass filled to the brim.

“Why…?” He courageously asked, fighting the sob in his throat whilst his cold hand that’s bare of mitten sought warmth on Sungmin’s hand, getting a grip, holding on and palpably not wanting to let go.

“I just don’t want to see you anymore…” That was it. No other reason, Sungmin simply broke his heart on the eve of Christmas with nothing else to say.

Much to Kyuhyun’s perplexity, Sungmin extracted his hand, stood and walked away from him without turning his head back. Sungmin briskly strode, stamping his tracks on the ice-covered ground as Kyuhyun watched him amidst the tears that flooded his eyes.

At that moment, he had been in love with Sungmin for the longest time he’d ever been, five months, ten days, and four hours, in counting. It was a feat, actually, because for someone like Kyuhyun who’s had quite a fair share of past relationships, whether it be fling or serious, he was certain that he had never been passionately in love, until he met Sungmin. He had never wanted steadfastness, had never dreamt of being with someone tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, or days after tomorrow’s tomorrow, like he dreamt he was with Sungmin. Thus, facing the reality that Sungmin didn’t want to be in his tomorrow, crushed him into a million pieces as he was left alone in that cold and snowy night with cheeks that gleamed in tears. How could one accept the irony where the only person he had ever wanted didn’t want to be with him anymore?

The next day, Kyuhyun was in Sungmin’s apartment, holding a small box of gift that contained his sincerity, chest filled with hope that he would be enlightened and given a second chance to right whatever he may have done wrong.

“Tell me, was it something I said? Was it something I didn’t do? Is something wrong?” Kyuhyun managed to ask after sitting on Sungmin’s couch for a moment that seemed like eternity, watching Sungmin standing by the window, already missing his body frame that he used to wrap his arms around to.

Silence. The clock tick-tocked on the wall as though timing the pregnant pause that enveloped the apartment, every waiting second seemed to jolt a drumroll beat that may make-up or break-up what he had with Sungmin.

“I need to know, Min… At least spare me from being puzzled…”

“I-I don’t love you, that’s what’s wrong.”

Kyuhyun hadn’t realized he was biting his bottom lip hard until he tasted a tinge of copper in his tongue, probably because he couldn’t recognize any pain as cutting as what he heard from Sungmin. It was like each word, each syllable, each letter came in sharp edges, like blade slicing every inch of him, tearing him into pieces for the second time since last night, only this time, the way that Sungmin laid it was harsher; comprehensible albeit harsher. Sungmin doesn’t love him.

He stood, and took each agonizing step towards Sungmin, longing for him to take it back, to take him back again, because in the five months that they’ve been together, Kyuhyun found the opposite of what Sungmin just said. Kyuhyun knew from the way their eyes would meet and make things around them appear inexistent; knew from the way that they cage each other, and hold each other as if they never wanted to part; knew from the way that their lips would mesh in a kiss, whether it be delicate on random occasions or fiery when they made love; Kyuhyun knew and believed that Sungmin was lying.

“Please leave, Kyuhyun-ah. Let’s not see each other again. Find another one. Find someone who can love you back the way you deserve it.” Sungmin said before Kyuhyun could take another step, before he could implore harder. Kyuhyun wanted to see Sungmin’s face, to take a look deep in his brown eyes, because only then he would find the truth that may be hiding in his heart and soul. Nonetheless, the icy atmosphere emanating from the man that refused to face him made Kyuhyun change his mind. Instead of going forward, his right foot stepped back hesitatingly, distressingly waiting for a few seconds when Sungmin would turn around to say that he didn’t mean the things that he said, that he can’t live without him, likewise Kyuhyun is to him. However, the diminutive hope that was left of him grew fainter when nothing happened in that excruciating silence and anticipation. With a choked sob, Kyuhyun shuffled towards the door, hand sliding inside his pocket as he hid the supposedly gift for Sungmin, shoulders dropped as though the whole weight of the world had been pressed on him.

He never wanted to give up, God knew that Kyuhyun wanted to hold onto what he believed, to what he felt. But how does a person hold onto someone