VII.
She Likes the Rain
Present.
Have you ever just stared at the ceiling until your eyes unfocused?
I have. I do it every day.
I don't know if I'm waiting−and if I am, for what?− or if I just don't know what to do with my life when I'm not on a bus or out in the rain.
If I'm waiting, then I'll keep waiting, I tell myself every day. I'll keep waiting, and maybe someday I'll believe all the words she said last year.
True to my mental word, I wrote down (though this was a while ago), into the pages of my notebook, all of Yoona's sayings that I remember bookmarking in my head. I didn't really need to, I suppose; her voice still rings in my head, and I hear her talking to me sometimes.
To this day, my notebook is still nowhere near full, though since I started writing her words in it, I haven't written anything else in it.
I call the book, 'She Likes the Rain'.
Right now, it's lying open on top of my desk. Scrawled over the two pages that the book is open to are the words: You're free to dream whatever and whenever you wish.
And I find myself thinking: You know, that may be true, but that doesn't mean any of your wishes will ever come true.
I want to know what she'd say to that.
***
April 20
Last year
Yoona becomes part of my routine. Now, she's as much a part of it as my morning newspapers and cups of tea are. I've forgotten what it's like now to wake up without knowing that I'll see her in less than ten minutes.
At 6:15, I'm at the bus stop and so is she. For about 5 minutes, we just sit there and talk about anything and everything. It's like this every day, and I've gotten used to it now. I think she has, too.
Today, she leans against my shoulder, inhaling deeply. It's not raining today, and I can tell she's missing the smell of 'rain air'.
"Tell me a secret, Luhan," she says. "One that's not about the absence of rain."
I chuckle. It takes me less than a second to think of what to say. "Well," I say in a deliberately slow voice, "today... is my birthday."
She sits up straight immediately. "Is it?" Her eyes widen and she hits my shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me before? I would have gotten you a present and cake!"
"Exactly why I didn't tell you." I smile, my eyes sliding closed. "It's just another day passing. Nothing special."
The look on her face is so adorably hilarious that I want to laugh out loud.
"Nothing special?" she repeats. "It's the day you were born! How is that not special?"
Because I have no one to celebrate it with, I answer mentally. But then I think: Wait no, that's not true. I have you now, Yoona.
...right?
I don't end up saying anything in reply.
Since my eyes are still closed, I don't see her hand dart out and grab my arm, dragging me to my feet. "Come on. I'll celebrate your birthday with you."
I find myself smiling, even though her grip on my arm is so firm that it almost hurts.
I guess I do have you.
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Luhan! Haaaaa−" she takes a deep breath, mid-clap "−ppy birthday to you!"
Yoona has just finished singing the birthday song to me (for the second time) in the loudest socially acceptable voice, and now she's grinning at me while clapping 24 times−one for luck, she tells me, because apparently I need luck, too. I suppose she's right.
Everyone else in the cafe is staring; a few people start clapping and give me friendly smiles.
My cheeks are burning furiously, but she doesn't seem to notice or care and pushes a cupcake, which she'd bought minutes earlier, towards me.
"Make a wish, Luhan!"
I look down to see that a single candle stands in the middle of the field of orange icing on top of the cupcake.
I glance up at her, taking in the candlelight mirrored in the dark pools of her eyes, and turn back to the cupcake, closing my eyes.
I wish... that Yoona will be happy. I wish that she'll never have to be alone.
I know I'm already pushing my luck with two wishes, but I decide to make one more.
I wish for more rainy days.
Nodding once, as if to reassure myself, I blow the candle out before I open my eyes−Sehun used to say that keeping your eyes open while blowing out your birthday candle(s) makes your wish invalid.
Yoona leans forward with an eager grin, practically bouncing in her seat; honestly, she seems more excited about my birthday than I am. "What did you wish for?"
I shake my head with a knowing smile. "I can't tell you," I say. "Otherwise it won't come true."
She pouts but doesn't say anything as she picks up her own cupcake (I'd bought her one, too, insisting, to her confusion, that it was the least I could do). Hers has pink icing. "Better have been a good wish, then."
I chuckle. "Oh, I'd say so."
She looks at me thoughtfully for a second before shaking her head with a smile. "Happy birthday, Luhan. Again."
She holds her cupcake up, and it takes me a moment to realise what she wants me to do. I raise my cupcake, too, and bump mine lightly against hers; some of the pink icing on hers ends up on the orange icing on mine.
Happy birthday to me.
***
A/N: Right now, from my plans, I'm thinking this will be 12 chapters, like Letters to Yoona. Look forward to it ;)
Thanks for reading~
((oh, and happy birthday to the one and only Do Kyungsoo! (12/01) I love you, man...bro...oppa. xD))
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