Zi Lun “Chris” Lai was a college dropout, and had lived most of her life to please her parents. She realized at the age of nineteen, that all she was achieving in college was a great big F. After flunking three classes out of sheer lack of interest, she promised herself that after facing the music, she’d put her parents out of their misery, and just move out. She hadn’t expected any help from them, but her mother softened, and surprised her by offering to finance her first three months of rent. Her mom felt she’d rather help keep her daughter afloat than to lose complete contact with her. She said she didn’t want to spend restless nights worrying about Chris’s wellbeing. If Chris could find a place that wasn’t filthy and unsafe, and prove she was a responsible adult by getting a job, both parents agreed to this arrangement.

Chris didn’t live in luxury, nor did she have a prestigious career, but she was gainfully employed and had time to learn things her own way outside the confines of academia. She hadn’t failed her classes because she was stupid. The box school tried to put her in just hadn’t suited her. She was creative and impulsive, and needed to be free to do things her own way.

To celebrate her thirtieth birthday, she bought herself her own condo. For the next year, her pocket change went into furnishing and decorating with the creative touches Chris was known for among friends and family. The condo wasn’t huge, so she made use of her imagination. The coffee table slid under a couch, the bed flipped up into a cherry wood-paneled dresser, and a mobile counter-top swiveled over the kitchen sink. The place was eccentric but charming, exactly like its owner.

Though Chris was a relatively happy person, something had always been missing. She blamed herself for not being more open about her uality. She thought it was the reason she had trouble finding a girlfriend. She’d dated one girl for a few months, but that ended quickly exactly because Chris was too closeted for her very out girlfriend’s liking. Then, when Chris had entirely stopped looking for potential partners, magic had dropped an adorable girl into her life. She’d been someone who didn’t want to spend their time together trying to force Chris out of the closet.

“If you’re comfy in there, stay there. As soon as you get too claustrophobic, you’ll know it’s time to get out,” she’d once said.

Chris fell hard and fast. Being inexperienced, she hadn’t noticed signs that the relationship was slowly failing. Though instinct told her something was wrong, she hadn’t had the ‘tools’ to deal with the problems. When her girlfriend finally broke up with her, she was gutted.

The healing process was tough because Chris didn’t have many friends who knew she was gay. She therefore couldn’t unload her feelings just anytime, anyhow. On that very lonely road to recovery, she allowed herself to slowly start coming out of her well-stocked closet. One reason she did this, was out of necessity. She wanted to explain to certain closer friends why she was feeling so down. The other reason for coming out, was simply because she was tired of pretending she was satisfied being single. She needed to meet new people who could relate to her issues, and not question why she never had boyfriends. Knowing other queer women would open up her social circle. To achieve that goal however, she had to first be able to admit she was gay. It wasn’t easy for Chris, but she did what she could. She was a work in progress, and at the age of thirty-two, she knew that this was okay.

With only positive thoughts in her head, she signed up for a housing swap in order to go somewhere new; experience a different world. Maybe it would do her good to visit a country that was more open to non-heteronormative^* relationship structures. Taiwan wasn’t as bad as some other parts of the world, but Chris knew there was room for improvement.

In her Lezfriendsworldwide.com ad, she hadn’t specified where she wanted to travel, but hoped it would be a welcome change from her beloved but familiar condo. She wanted to challenge herself, whether that meant changing time zones, or diet, or the very surroundings in which she’d been born and raised. Taiwan was great, but now was the time to try new things. It was also time for her to get over her sorry, single self. Her ex had left a big hole in her heart, and she didn’t want to keep reminiscing old times. Instead, she wanted to create new memories. Hopefully she’d be able to do that with some new friends. Maybe she’d even meet a new girl to make her forget she’d ever moped about her breakup.

* Heteronormativity