Chapter  1

It was when you had something to go to, that you really didn’t want to go to, that you started to find the insides of a car really interesting. I had never really looked at the back of the front seat. Or the ceiling. You never really looked at ceilings. I don’t remember why, ceilings are great. They keep the things from above from falling down on you.

But no matter how much you looked around, you had to get out eventually. When I did, I was met with the staring looks of 10 of my team members.

Admittedly, I was kind of responsible, so they had reason to stare at me, but still. It was very unsettling. Well, since I’d already gotten out of the car, I might as well get this all over with.

“Alright everybody, let’s get started. Once again, we’re only observing. They already got everything they need to know, we’re just here to make sure that it really gets done.”

I looked at everybody. They looked bored out of their minds. One was even looking at her fingernails.

“And for one day, could you maybe act like you don’t think that you should be in my place? It doesn’t sit well with others if they think the team isn’t working fine. And now, move.”

I turned around and went to the entrance of the building. I knew that my little speech didn’t really do anything, but I still had to say it. I needed to give them a chance to follow my orders before I took any measures. Doing this job was hard enough, but when half the team was working against you, it was nearly impossible.

But I’d need to think of that matter later. Now I had something else before me. Something much worse.

We were just arriving as they were about to start. The boss had told me that the promotions team always arrived at the last minute. I recognized it had something to do with authority and respect.

The hall fell silent as we entered.

Keep calm, I told myself, you’re the boss here. I ignored the hordes of staff members and nodded to the director, barely acknowledging him. Inside, I wanted to bow to him, him being my senior as well as much, much older than me, but I couldn’t.

“You’re me” the boss had told me, “you’re the authority, your word is final. You don’t bow to anybody, is that clear?”

It took me some time to spot them, being half buried in stylists. They were wearing the costumes that had already been designated for the main part of the music video. I could spot Junsu’s low cut sleeveless shirt, Yoochun’s jacket with it’s hood hanging around the shoulder and Changmin’s black and white jacket. I guessed Jaejoong was wearing his blazed jacket and Yunho his half zipped one, but I couldn’t see them.

Seeing them again… I didn’t know how to feel. On the one hand, I felt happy. In the end, I had really come to like them, and I liked seeing them again. But on the other hand, I felt queasy and a bit scared. What would they say? They must’ve heard that I had been put in charge, so I wondered what they thought of it.

But as much as I wanted to talk to them, I had to stay in the chair I was sitting in, observing everything.

My team had spread around, as I had instructed them in our last meeting. As the boss had instructed me.

“I want you to report everything that happens back to me. Anything. What the staff thinks or who made mistakes.”

The boss’s words had shocked me, although they shouldn’t have. Such things happened all the time, people spying and telling.

I hadn’t told my team about that. Instead, I had told them to make sure everything went fine, as planned. It felt like somehow, this way, I kept part of me, that part that stopped me from becoming one of them.

The director yelled something and now the band went in front of the white background that had been built on one side of the big hall.

My eyes followed them and devoured every detail they could find. Yoochun’s new hairstyle that had been designed especially for him as well as Junsu’s smooth one. Jaejoong’s necklace that had been imported from Japan.

I sighed. I remembered sitting in meeting rooms and discussing all of this with my team. Their hair, their clothes. The song they were promoting was very y and so was their style.

I now knew why the boss had wanted me to shatter the god-like image.