Goodbye for the Two of Us
Goodbye for the Two of Us
(a/n) Words in italic were part of Sungmin's memory.
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3:00 AM
I looked at the clock and listened to the silent ticking it made inside our room. I rolled my body and slowly decided to get up in fear that I would wake you up. I closed my eyes for awhile, letting myself get drowned from your scent for the last time.
Am I really strong enough to do this?
'You can't give him the perfect family that he had been dreaming of. He won't get to hold his own children. Can you bear that?'
I can still recall those words from your mother. It haunts me day and night. Ever since your parents found out about us, I knew they never want us to be together. I accepted all of their harsh words because I know you are always beside me. You stood up for me. We faced them and prove to them how much we love each other, and they stop insulting me. But that was when you are around. You don't know what else they had been saying and doing to me when you are not around. I kept everything inside me because I don't want to ruin the nice bonding that you have with your parents. I never experienced how it feels like to have a family. I don’t want you to experience the same thing.
'You can never make my son happy. He has a brighter future ahead of him.' Your father told me as he looked at me from head to toe with those piercing stares of his. 'You were born as an orphan and someone like you don't deserve him.'
I kept quiet and listened to those hurtful words he's saying. I keep myself from breaking down in front of him. I don't want to look weak because I wanted to prove to them that I am strong. I am able to keep going because of you.
But they are so persistent to get me out of your life. You had been going out of the country for countless of times due to your family business that I never questioned what it is. They kept showing me pictures of you talking with some pretty girls in some fancy restaurants. They purposely giggled in front of me and telling each other who is the perfect match for you. Those pictures, I know they had all been lies because I trust you with all of me. I know you will never replace me with some random girls you've met in other countries. I kept pretending to be deaf and blind in front of your parents even though it kills me slowly inside.
'Don't leave me.'
You told me one night after you accidentally caught me crying in our room. I thought you were out of the country again while I cried my heart out. You hugged me tightly without asking me why I am crying. Maybe you knew? But I don't have the heart to tell you if you will ask me. I am so glad you never did.
'Promise me that you won't leave no matter what. We can do this together, Min.'
I found myself nodding in reply as you my hair and shower some kisses on my face. I smiled. It is only you who can ease the pain I am feeling and erase the hurtful words they're saying from my mind.
'Forgive me.'
You kneeled in front of me while tears kept falling in your eyes as you ask for my forgiveness. You had cheated on me and played with fire behind my back. The strength that I am holding on to had started to crack and soon I know that it would soon break apart and pull me towards the ground. You are my strength but you slowly faded away. You told me that it was the daughter of your parents' business partner. Seohyun. That's her name. You met her at a party that the company your family owns had conducted. I know that it was part of your parents plan to get rid of me. I tried to get out of your life but you held on to me. You don't want to let me go and begged for me to stay. Seeing you cry your heart out, I felt weak. I can't bear to see you cry so I chose to stay and give you another chance.
You never cheated on me again, but your parents kept on brainwashing me. They even introduced me to Seohyun and talked a lot of beautiful things about her. They kept on praising her while I was only there listening to everything they are saying. They made me feel like I really don't deserve you, that you should be with her instead of me. I feel useless and down. The girl even smirked at me, but I ignored all of it because of you.
I opened my eyes and let tears fall freely from it. I hurriedly wiped it away because I don't want to wake you up from the sound of my sobs. I may not be able to do this if you will open your eyes. I quietly went towards the closet and grabbed the knapsack that I have hidden from you. I changed my clothes and slowly walked towards you. I kneeled so I can look at your face for one last time.
'If you will not leave my son, I swear that I will never consider him as part of the family anymore. I will leave him to rot with you.'
'I love your son, Sir. I had tried my best to please you and accept us. I don't know what else you want me to do to accept the fact that we both love each other. Why can't you let your own son become happy?'
SLAP!
I ignore the stinging pain on my left cheek. I got used to it anyway. Your father had done it countless of times whenever I try to defend us.
'Leave this house. Leave my son alone. You know I am serious with everything I say. I don't want to see you here anymore starting tomorrow. Or I will really do what I had told you a while ago.'
Tears fell down my cheek again as I memorized every lines, every scars, and every contours of your face. Soft snores escape your lips as I gently pushed some strands away from your closed eyes. I will definitely miss everything about you.
Kyuhyun, I never wanted to do this. I never meant to hurt you but this is the only right thing I have to do. I have been struggling to fight for you, to fight for us. But I cannot do it anymore, not when I am the only one who keeps on fighting. I tried to be strong, to forget every harsh word, but I can feel my heart is being crashed and stepped upon. Can I be selfish for myself just once?
Your parents are right. I don't deserve someone as perfect as you. I am a nobody, while Seohyun is your perfect match. I know you can go on without me. Learn to love again and fight for the one you love.
If you're awake right now, I know I won't have the strength to leave you. I get weak whenever I see you cry. I won't be able to leave if you will drown me in your loving eyes. Please understand. I love you, but it's time for us to throw our love away. If we ever met on our next life, I will make sure we'll be together again and I won't ever leave you like what I am going to do now. I am really sorry.
I slowly leaned my head towards your face and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. 'I will always love you.'
I got up and looked at the ring on my finger, the one that you had given me on our wedding day. I was contemplating on leaving it behind, but if this is going to be the only memory of you that I am going to have, I will definitely keep it with me to remind myself that there was once a Cho Kyuhyun who fell in love to someone like me.
I spare you one last glance before closing the door behind me. I walked out of the house with heavy footsteps while tears fell endlessly from eyes. I feel like a part of me has died. I know it'll be hard for the two of us, but I know you'll get through it and I will try my best to forget you, forget everything about us.
I let my feet dragged me to nowhere. I don't have anywhere to go. I walked lifelessly and ignore all the things around me. It is still dark and the street lights are the only thing that’s guiding me. Your parents would be happy if they found out that I am gone. They will even celebrate. Seohyun would be on your side to comfort you, and who knows what you two would do after that.
The cold winds of winter wrapped around me. It’s too cold. My heart feels empty. I slowly crossed the street with shaking legs, ignoring everything. My feet suddenly froze and I looked at the dark sky above me. My tears had turned into ice and I closed my eyes as an image of your smiling face flashed before me. Sound of screeching tires and a loud bang echoed in my ears and I felt my body hit the ground. I can’t feel anything. Maybe I became numb with all the pain I had gone through. Why is it so painful to love you and be with you?
I felt my heart clenched and my breathing became labored. Everything hurts. But leaving you hurts more. I opened my eyes and all I see is your sleeping face. I smiled for the last time before I say the word that both of us never wanted to hear. This is it, Kyuhyun. I am letting you go.
Goodbye.
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(a/n) Sorry for making you sad in new year. But I can't help it cause I'm just evil like that. LOL
Happy New Year to all of you!
Let's all make 2013 a better year for all of us, and to our oppars.
Happy Birthday to my ultimate bias, Lee Sungmin!
Be with Kyuhyun always! keke. I love you so much bunny!
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