“So… spill the beans. Who’s this witch we’re talking about?“ Reita walked briskly through the room, grabbed a stool and sat down waiting patiently for an explanation.

“Well I’ve always been with her. She raised me. When I was little she was kind but when I grew up she became … well… possessive. She locked me in here, never lets me out, never allows me to meet people.”

“I see. Why not just climb out? Cut your hair, tie it to the bedpost and leg it!”

“She won’t let me. She’s a powerful sorceress. The hair is enchanted. It can’t be cut by normal means.”

“Oh..so by witch you mean a real ‘black cat and cauldron’-type-of-witch?”

“Of course.”

“Huh… I thought we were talking about ‘nasty piece of work’-type-of-wench…”

“Does that complicate things?”

“Nah! I am sure Prince Uruha will be fine.” He grinned. “So, where does she live?”

“In a cottage, deep within the forest.” He held up a hand, “Before you ask. No, I don’t know the location.”

“Has everybody in this forest hermit-tendencies? What is it with people living all alone in some godforsaken part of the world? We are already lost in this bleeding forest. It may take years before we stumble across her by chance. Or we may never find her.” Reita looked out of the window. The prince wasn’t getting any younger; he had to marry him off as soon as possible. There was no time to go on a witch hunt with little chance of success. He made a decision. “We’ll have to draw her out.”

“You’ve got a plan?”

Reita got up and walked towards Ruki with an enigmatic smile on his lips. “Not so much of a plan, more a tried-and-tested method.”

 

 

 

“So tell me again…” Prince Uruha was sitting at the camp fire, brows furrowed with confusion.

“It is quite simple, my Lord. You’ll await the old crown next time she drops by the tower and will heroically demand the release of your beloved. It will save us from chasing after her. Your plan is very good.”

“My plan…?! It is? It IS! MY plan! Of course, my plans are always very cunning!”

The valet shook his head.

“Reita?”

“Mhm, my Lord?”

“How does one slay the villain? You know I’ve never been quite certain about the details…”

“Well the traditional method is to kill them in a sword fight. Chopping off the head would be favourite but I suppose you can employ a degree of ‘heroic freedom’, my Lord.”

The prince turned slightly pale. He held on to some comforting thoughts. “So how’s my future queen? Is she very eager to meet me? You know, women these days always pretend to be shy and modest while they just try to encourage you.”

“My Lord, the excitement… you must understand. She is quite … overwhelmed.” Reita rolled every word around his tongue, tasting it, before putting together the whole sentence. In fact Ruki was plain ecstatic at the prospect of leaving his lofty confinement.

“Well that was to be expected. I have that effect on females.”

“To be sure, my Lord. Anyway, my Lord. Try to stick to the plan! No freestyle, alright? This is essential. Just repeat what we've been practicing!

 

Two days and a couple of disregarded teachings later.

 

 

“Will you shut up?“

“No!“

“I’ll turn you into a frog.“

“Please, don’t. I have a phobia of reptiles.“

“A frog is an amphibian, my Lord.“

“Quite right. Don’t like those either.“

“Are you aware that I am threatening you, lad?“

“I despise violence. And please address me as fit to my office.“

The witch looked confused. She had some serious doubts about the prince’s intelligence.

“Do you know how many heroes I’ve helped to a new life as pond-dwelling insect-eater? Do you know how many tried to negotiate, threaten, lie, cheat, riddle, battle or frankly wriggle their way out of a confrontation with me? And how many were successful?“

“What’s with the history lesson? Will you come across with the girl?“

There was a grunt of desperation from the sorceress. This was like trying to argue with a tree. “I am too old for this sort of thing.“

“And I am not getting any younger here. Part with the princess and this could all be over by lunchtime.“

“Is he serious?“ She asked the manservant who was standing off to one side trying not to be embarrassed about his master’s total ignorance of all his teachings about politeness negotiation skills and behaviour in the face of imminent amphibian-hood.

“I’m afraid so Ma’am.“ He ground his teeth. “What his Boldness was trying to say, before his good judgement sadly deserted him, was that there must surely be a way to come to an understanding.“ He cleared his throat trying to will the prince to apologize, or at least not make it worse.

“What are you saying? An exchange? A deal? A favour?“

“Lady, if you won’t comply, I see no other way but to…“

“ChrrmChrrm. What was I saying?“ Reita continued flatly, “ah yes. I am sure this evil-witch business must be tiring.“

“You have no idea.“

“…yeah right. Bullying people into handing over their children, cursing people, turning hones