Key brings my suitcase to a room after finishing his cup of plain water, and I trail after him meekly. The room is painted in white, there is a bed on the side with its yellow bed sheets free from creases, and there is a closet beside the bed. He leaves and I unpack my clothes.

I assume that he has reserved a room for me, I think, halfway through unpacking the clothes.

Thank you, Key.

I see the Holy Bible in the suitcase after I hang my clothes in the closet. It dawns upon me that I am starting to despise God. I have never envisioned that I will go against a powerful “creature”. (I wince when I think of him as a creature, I guess I’m really defying him now.)

I have already showed my defiance when I decide to leave the house, when I decide that I shall not have the pastor pray for me.

I sigh, not knowing where I should put that book in. I take the book up and bring it closer so I can get a better view of the words ‘Holy Bible’, feeling its weight on my long fingers. I decide that the book is old (after all, I have used it for 15 years, if I remember correctly).

I do not know the exact reason why I hesitate, but I attribute it to me working hard to get closer to God for all these years and it feels like I’m throwing all of my hard work away, along with my eagerness (that has faded dramatically the previous year).

I throw the Bible in it and zip it up, before putting that suitcase at a corner of the room. I sincerely hope that I can forget God and live without any big worries for the rest of my life (but this is impossible).  



My heart skips a beat when my phone vibrates while I’m watching a television programme with Kibum-hyung. I take it out from my pocket swiftly and I freeze when I realise that I’ve received a new message from hyung. My fingers hover above the screen of the phone. I hesitate to read the message, because I don’t know if he is going to be displeased with me. It also stems from guilt, since I’ve left on my own without informing him.

Finally I take a deep breath and press on the button.

Minho, where are you? Are you kicked out of the house? Do you have a place to stay?

I sigh, not knowing how to reply him. Should I say that I am being ‘kicked out’ or being asked to ‘leave the house’?

Should I tell him that I’m staying at Key’s place?



There are many things that I learn about Key even when I’ve lived with him for a short week. Firstly, the reason why his grandmother did not mind me staying in here because Key had somehow convinced her that I’m his tenant and she surprisingly agrees to it. Secondly, Key’s real name is Kibum.

Kibum-hyung’s grandmother makes breakfast for Kibum-hyung every morning (this is what I assume). I do not want to impose on them (and maybe accidentally say that I am gay and get kicked out again) so I leave the house at 7 a.m. and spend my time eating breakfast slowly before going for work.

I have no idea if Kibum-hyung’s grandmother will like the idea of me eating with them, but I guess it would be awkward. Will we say anything when we eat? How will Kibum-hyung’s grandmother perceive me as?

I found a job within two days in a restaurant named ‘Italy and Italy’as a waiter. It is located in the Samdeok Fire District and it would take about thirty minutes to reach there from Kibum-hyung’s apartment.

I am not surprised to see many foreign workers, and I feel relieved in a way. Will they be more open? Will they accept the fact that I am gay, that I am trying hard to be myself? There should be no language barrier since I am fluent in English, if they don’t mind my heavy Korean accent.





I open the door to Kibum-hyung’s house and close it silently. It should be around 11.30 p.m. The house is illuminated, I note, and I step in the house. I try hard to stifle a yawn and I go to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water to soothe myself from the day’s hard work.

I pick up the sounds of footsteps while I grab my glass of water and turn. I find myself staring at Kibum-hyung.

“Hi, Kibum-hyung.” I address him meekly. I look at the cup I am holding.

“Do you want a glass of water?” The question prompts me to think of the first day in here, when Key had given me a glass of water.

“No, thank you, Minho.” I heed his instructions even though I try to convince myself to pour him a glass of water.

“Minho, are you free on Saturday?” Key asks casually.

“Yes.” I reply after much deliberation. I figure that I can make some time for Saturday.

“For the whole day?” He asks, more specifically.

“Yes.”

“Do you want to go to Itaewon with me?”

I freeze for a moment. That little voice in me bugs me, urging me to be courageous and go back to Itaewon, I’ll have some fun.

My parents may not even see me or want to see me, they have disowned me anyway.

I nod.

Author's note: I didn't edit it thoroughly and I don't think this was supposed to be a filler chapter, but it sort of became one.