In a year, Taeyeon would have expected much more.

               She doesn’t exactly know what, but she wants something more from Tiffany, and she does know that Tiffany’s the most important person in her life. Well, she’s also one of the only people in her life, but whatever it is she wants from Tiffany, it isn’t the same thing she wants from Jessica.

               That would be qualified as .

               In a year, Taeyeon’s been cured of her depression and insomnia.

Her psychologist doesn’t understand it, but maybe that’s because she hasn’t told him about her frequent dosages of Stephanie Hwang. There hasn’t been a single day where she doesn’t visit the shop. Sometimes, they even go out for ice cream, or to the movies, or on a walk, and if Taeyeon is incredibly lucky, Tiffany holds her hand.

In a year, Taeyeon’s been promoted to manager.

After four years of working, it’s only when her attitude brightens that her superior grants her a promotion. With the new promotion, Taeyeon can afford to move into an apartment that has a bathroom. Tiffany helps her move in, but because she has no upper-body strength whatsoever, Taeyeon ends up doing most of the work, anyways. On occasion, Tiffany comes over, and Taeyeon makes dinner for her –a talent she’s extremely proud to have been able to cultivate over the year.

               So much has changed in a year, yet, Taeyeon feels like she hasn’t taken a single step forward from where she stood with Tiffany.  She’s happier than she’s even been in her life, yet, she’s also more uncertain, and that uncertainty only escalates by the day.

               The line that separates their friendship is becoming blurred.

Maybe Taeyeon is uncertain about her own feelings, but at least she’s willing to try. Tiffany, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to know what she wants at all. She’s always sending mixed signals, and whenever Taeyeon’s certain Tiffany wants something more, Tiffany withdraws immediately, and they start over, again.

               It’s these misconceptions that Tiffany has a habit of initiating that exasperate Taeyeon, and one day, Tiffany leaves her more bewildered than ever.

               “Miyoung-ah?” Taeyeon’s voice is soft and timorous.

Tiffany smiles as she glances over at Taeyeon; her enticing eyes are sparkling with affability, but they’re so amorous that Taeyeon’s unsure of her intentions, again.

               “Yes?” Tiffany answers, her husky voice glazed with sweetness.  

               She only allows Taeyeon to address her as Miyoung, and though Taeyeon was thrilled about that at first, now it’s just another confusing aspect of their elusive relationship.

               Even though Tiffany is smiling, Taeyeon feels that something is amiss, because it doesn’t reach her eyes the same way it ordinarily does. Still, Tiffany is otherworldly beautiful, and the dazzling smile causes Taeyeon to glance away coyly.

               They’re sitting on the front steps of the coffee shop, and even though they’re pressed together, Taeyeon’s still shivering. When Taeyeon doesn’t go on, Tiffany touches her knee gently, and at the touch, Taeyeon nuzzles her face into her scarf to hide her blush.

She’s not all that cold anymore.

               “What’s wrong?” Taeyeon mumbles into her scarf. Tiffany tilts her head.

               “What do you mean?”

               Taeyeon steals a glance at Tiffany before hastily lowering her gaze to the snow.

               “I mean, you’re actually quiet, for once…” Taeyeon struggles to properly convey her concern, again, which only infuriates her. She huffs out irately with a scowl, causing Tiffany to chuckle.

               Apparently she understands what Taeyeon is trying to say, because she replies, “I guess I just don’t have anything to say. Today’s too significant for me to waste words on it.”

               Taeyeon’s curiosity is piqued; she looks up at Tiffany as she inquires, “What’s today?” Tiffany just smiles and shakes her head, as she always does, and Taeyeon feels condescended. She pouts. “Tiffany, you’re my best friend. I want to make you feel better, and you’re not helping me by being so vague.”

               Tiffany’s eyes twinkle at that, though it’s with unfathomable distress, and she sighs. She doesn’t answer, wordlessly moving even closer to Taeyeon, if that’s possible, and takes her hand. Taeyeon’s heart is in ; she’s still not accustomed to the inhuman effect Tiffany has on her, but she submissively allows the younger girl to interlace their fingers. She squeezes Taeyeon’s hand, though it seems like it’s to reassure herself more than Taeyeon.

               Without meeting Taeyeon’s gaze, Tiffany says, “I love you.”

               Taeyeon’s breath hitches in .

               “You’ve always been there for me when I needed you, and I wish I could do the same. You have no idea how grateful I am to have met you,” Tiffany murmurs, and she looks at Taeyeon with so much adoration in her eyes that Taeyeon can’t breathe. “Today is my mother’s death anniversary…” Taeyeon’s stomach churns when she hears that, and Tiffany looks away.  “It’s also the anniversary of when I first met you.” Taeyeon doesn’t say anything. She can’t meet Tiffany’s eyes, because she’s concentrating on something else entirely. Tiffany her lips, and Taeyeon loses focus. “I don’t know why, but I feel so conflicted. Sometimes, I feel like I’m doing the wrong thing being with you, but at the same time, I’ve never been so happy. But I also feel bad, because it doesn’t seem right that what should be one of the saddest days of my life is now the happiest. I just –I don’t know. Taeyeon, I’m so confused…”

               And Tiffany looks so miserable, so defeated, with her aberrantly pink lips parted that Taeyeon just leans over and presses her own against them, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

               And for a moment, it feels that way. As diffident as Taeyeon is, as inelegantly and hesitantly as she moves her lips against Tiffany’s remarkably soft ones, when she feels Tiffany kiss her back, it’s nothing short of bliss. Taeyeon reaches up with her hand to tentatively brush her ungloved fingertips against Tiffany’s cheek –and it’s smoother than velvet. The warmth exuding from Tiffany makes her shiver, and in spite of the uncertainty, there’s this inexplicable ecstasy exploding in her chest, and–

               Tiffany pulls away abruptly. She turns her face away from Taeyeon, refusing to meet her hurt eyes. She jerks her hand out of Taeyeon’s grasp like she’s been burned, and in an instant, she’s on her feet.

               Taeyeon is motionless.

               Her heart sinks, but not because Tiffany pulls away, but because she’s never been this unreceptive towards Taeyeon. Her eyes are distant, and all the usual warmth seems to have evaporated from her now expressionless face.

               “Taeyeon, we can’t…” It’s only three words, but Taeyeon feels like her whole world just collapsed. Her jaw is trembling as she stares imploringly up at Tiffany, but the latter just avoids her gaze and mutters, “I can’t do this.”

               Tiffany disappears inside the shop, and even though Taeyeon can go after her, she remains on the steps.

               Numb, she’s left to blame herself for something that isn’t her fault.

**************

               Guilt is Tiffany’s least favorite emotion.

               It’s something that’s present for a while, but it’s devious, so you don’t notice it. It accumulates until it surrounds you on all sides and, before you know it, you’re drowning in it. That’s how Tiffany feels –engulfed in so much remorse that it’s dragging her under waves of guilt, filling up her nostrils and burning her lungs. She can’t breathe.

               It’s been a week since she’s talked to Taeyeon, and the guilt is consuming her.

               Taeyeon’s clearly too terrified to visit the shop again, and Tiffany’s been avoiding her texts, calls –anything to do with her in general. She reads the texts, she hears Taeyeon’s shaky, tear-stricken voice filling her voicemail, but she doesn’t respond. She can’t.

               It’s not that she’s uncomfortable with what Taeyeon did.

               In fact, her heart would be swelling with joy, because Taeyeon finally gave her what she’s been wanting for a year.

When Taeyeon kissed her, for the first time in her life, Tiffany felt like she was truly alive. It’s almost as if kissing Taeyeon touched two live wires inside of her and sparked her dormant core to life. She unconsciously presses her fingertips to her lips and sighs. She can still feel Taeyeon’s hesitant lips against hers, and there’s nothing more she wants than to have them back in that exact same position.

               But it’s not that simple.

               Tiffany hasn’t spoken to her father once since last Christmas. Neither has Leo. Her entire family is torn between religion and supporting Tiffany, and she… she hates it. It’s almost like losing her mother all over again. With her family in doubt and her relationship with her father almost at ends, it’s tearing them apart.

               It’s tearing her apart.

               And it’s all because of Taeyeon.

               Tiffany doesn’t blame Taeyeon herself in the slightest –she blames the feelings she has for her.

The irrational, heartrending, perplexing, enamored feelings she has for Taeyeon.

 If she and Taeyeon shared a platonic relationship, there would be no problem. None at all. They could both be happy and still see each other.

               But Tiffany just can’t be around Taeyeon without… without wanting something more. The past year has been both the most contenting life of Tiffany’s year and the most tormenting. The more she sees Taeyeon, the more she loves her, and when Taeyeon kissed her, it was like falling in love with her all over again.

               Tiffany can’t support Taeyeon like this –not when she can’t be around Taeyeon without desiring her affection in return –and she loathes herself even more for that. Not only is she breaking her own heart, but she’s breaking Taeyeon’s as well.

               Taeyeon needs someone in her life and Tiffany… she just can’t be that someone.

               There are too many feelings complicating the equation already, and she’s only hurting Taeyeon by not being able to return those feelings with certainty.

               And –that’s not even the problem.

               Tiffany loves Taeyeon with more than her heart can bear –there’s nobody she loves more than Taeyeon.

               It’s just too complicated, and she doesn’t know how to fix it.

               Tiffany can push Taeyeon away all she wants, but in the end, that’s only going to bring her closer, and she knows if Taeyeon gets any closer, Tiffany will break.

               And maybe, breaking is the only thing left to do.

               The thought’s never occurred to Tiffany, lost somewhere in her disarrayed, congested mind, under several other thoughts unnecessarily complicating things. But now that she thinks about it, she’s never even ruminated about a possible solution to her dilemma.

               She’s been so absolutely –too absolutely, almost entirely –consumed by the dreadful tension that accompanies a dilemma that she forgot that she was supposed to find an answer to it. She’s never actually thought about which side she would choose, whether it be her family or Taeyeon, but at the moment, she can only think of Taeyeon.

               She can only see Taeyeon, hear Taeyeon, feel Taeyeon, breathe Taeyeon, taste Taeyeon–

               Tiffany inhales sharply.

               Love isn’t supposed to be like this, but love isn’t what I thought it was, at all. It isn’t holding hands and having your heart flutter, it isn’t finding a happily ever after, and it sure as hell isn’t happiness.

Love is in Taeyeon’s tinted hazel eyes, and love is, to Tiffany at the very least, Kim Taeyeon.

Love is also on the front steps of the coffee shop.

Tiffany doesn’t notice the cataleptic figure at first, fumbling for her keys inside her purse as she leaves the shop for the night. The streetlights aren’t on, so she’s enveloped in absolute obscurity, and truthfully, she’s a little uneasy. She’s swallowed up by intense darkness on every side, and she has a heart attack when her hand grazes something alive.

“Oh my gosh!” Tiffany squeals, retracting it immediately as she leaps back in horror.

At first, she puts her delicate fists up in an awkward defensive stance, but when her eyes finally adjust, she recognizes the petite figure in front of her. Taeyeon is unconscious, with her head oriented limply against one of the support beams, and even though she’s garbed in a bulky Eskimo jacket, she’s abnormally pale. Tiffany’s stomach lurches; there are frozen icicles suspended on Taeyeon’s eyelashes and forming on her cheeks, and her lips have almost a cerulean tinge to them.

She doesn’t know how long Taeyeon’s been out here, but judging by her feeble, curled up position, as well as her predictable impulsiveness, she guesses it’s been all day. Guilt swarms Tiffany again, and she swiftly embraces Taeyeon in an attempt to pass on her body heat. A chill passes through her as she makes contact with Taeyeon’s frozen flesh, but she endures it as she scoops Taeyeon into her arms. She’s unstable, but Taeyeon’s light enough that her non-existent upper-body strength can withstand the weight.

Unsteadily (at a rate much too slow for her liking), Tiffany makes her way to her Corolla and buckles Taeyeon into the passenger’s seat. She drives at an abnormally brisk (and probably hazardous) pace with the heater on full blast in a rush to get back to her apartment. Tiffany’s starting to sweat, but one look at Taeyeon’s motionless body is enough to make her sustain it.

It isn’t until they’re in Tiffany’s apartment and Tiffany is scrambling to find blankets that Taeyeon regains consciousness. She opens one eye then blinks a few times, trying to remove the icy particles from her eyelashes as her eyes adjust. The surrounding isn’t unfamiliar, but it’s unexpected, and as Taeyeon starts to wonder how she ended up at Tiffany’s flat, the girl in question is returning, so she hastily closes her eyes and feigns sleep.

“You have a habit of breaking my heart, you know that?” Tiffany grumbles as she removes Taeyeon’s damp jacket. In shock, Taeyeon’s eyes fly open, but thankfully, Tiffany’s leaning over her so she doesn’t notice. Taeyeon’s processing this information in bemusement, completely uncertain of what Tiffany is trying to say, so she he closes her eyes again. She relishes the familiar warmth from Tiffany –it’s something she had desperately missed. “And the fact that you’re so adorable doesn’t help. Dork. Do you know much you hurt me when you get hurt?” Tiffany laughs mirthlessly. “I guess it’s my fault this time, though.”

Tiffany sighs as she pulls back, and proceeds to wrap numerous blankets around Taeyeon’s tiny frame. When her violent shivering doesn’t stop, Tiffany bites her lip hesitantly, and Taeyeon’s heart soars when she feels the couch sink beside her. Tiffany pulls Taeyeon close and though she may not be very consistent, she encompasses Taeyeon in unbelievable warmth; her soft, slender body seemed to accommodate for Taeyeon’s smaller one perfectly. When Tiffany sighs, Taeyeon can feel every muscle in Tiffany’s body flex against her sides.

She wants to melt in contentment in Tiffany’s arms. She doesn’t open her eyes, for fear of Tiffany leaving, but she has a difficult time concealing the smile that’s fighting to emerge on her face.

Finally, after about half-an-hour, Taeyeon’s trembling subsides. Once Tiffany notices that Taeyeon is no longer shivering, she moves away from her and rises to her feet. She’s about to go fetch some medicine, but–

“Please don’t leave me, again.”

Tiffany freezes at the sound of Taeyeon’s voice –partially because it’s raspy and weak compared to its usual deep and melodious pitch, but mostly out of a peculiar combination of fault and astonishment. She blinks a few times, her heart beating relentlessly against her chest, before turning around to be met with the most heartrending sight she’s ever witnessed.

Taeyeon’s tinted hazel eyes are sparkling with unshed tears, and they’re rounder than marbles. She looks like a wounded puppy, and there’s so much immeasurable anguish and desolation in her eyes –Tiffany only then realizes the extent of the damage she’s caused.

Her heart fractures, and as fragmented cracks form along it, she whimpers, “Oh, Taeyeon.”

Taeyeon’s facial expression remains unchanging, her tears threatening to overflow as she whispers in an imploring tone, “Please.”

“Oh, I-I’m just getting some medicine and other things for you T-Taeyeon, don’t worry. I’ll be right b-back,” Tiffany replies, and maybe it’s the uncertainty in her stammering that makes Taeyeon uneasy.

“Do you promise?” Taeyeon’s eyes are pleading.

Tiffany gulps.

“I promise,” she mumbles, solemnly.

Taeyeon bites her lip before nodding, as if consenting her to leave.

As soon as she does, Tiffany sprints to the medicine cabinet, and her frantic fingers fumble for Warming Theraflu, knocking over several bottles and equipment in the process. When she finds the desired package, she pockets it before rushing to the kitchen. She fills a small bowl with boiling water and retrieves a small handkerchief before returning to Taeyeon.

Tiffany’s seized by an arcane, poignant sentiment when she sees the reassurance flooding Taeyeon’s eyes at her reappearance –as if she believed Tiffany wouldn’t. It hurts, because she realizes how traumatized and fragile Taeyeon may have become due to her.

The room is quiet, both of them too afraid to speak and break the placid, strangely soothing silence as Tiffany takes a seat on the coffee table in front of Taeyeon. She soaks the handkerchief in the steaming water before squeezing it.

“Close your eyes,” Tiffany orders gently as she lightly pats the warm cloth against Taeyeon’s frigid face. She complies, and Tiffany candidly feels relieved to not have look into Taeyeon’s eyes and see the fraught dependency that lies in them –because of her.

“Miyoung?” Taeyeon asks, almost inaudibly, breaking the silence.

“Mhm,” Tiffany replies absentmindedly as she continues washing Taeyeon’s face.

“Do you hate me?”

The apprehension in Taeyeon’s voice is agonizing.

“Never,” Tiffany whispers. “I could never, Taeyeon.” Taeyeon’s plump lips curve up in a smile at that, and Tiffany blushes when particular memories surface upon seeing the action. It’s silent again, save for the sound of water smoothly lapping against the sides of the bowl, and Tiffany bites her lip, deciding to be the one to interrupt it this time. “You were at the shop today.”

It’s a dull statement.

“Uh-huh,” Taeyeon acknowledges. “I was waiting for you to come outside… since I didn’t think you wanted me to go inside.”

Tiffany’s stomach churns. “How long were you waiting?”

“Mm… I’m not sure,” Taeyeon muses, her eyebrows knitting together as she thinks about it. “I got hungry after a while, so I went to sleep. But I got to the shop around ten.”

Tiffany glances at the digital clock behind her and her heart sinks. Eight hours.

“Why’d you have do that? That’s dangerous, Tae,” Tiffany reprimands mildly, but is too thick, so she isn’t the least bit intimidating.

“…I missed you.” It’s only three words, but it’s enough to make Tiffany’s heart tremble. “I couldn’t think of any other way to contact you, since you were ignoring my calls and texts. But it worked, because you’re here with me now.” And Taeyeon smiles, but it’s filled with such terrible melancholy that Tiffany’s submerged in guilt, again.

“Close your mouth,” Tiffany mutters as she dabs around the corners of Taeyeon’s lips. As usual, Taeyeon obeys, and even when Tiffany’s done, she doesn’t say anything, because she’s too stunned by what Tiffany says next. “I’m so sorry, Taeyeon, for what I did… It isn’t what you think. At all.” Taeyeon doesn’t open as Tiffany starts wiping her neck –she’s afraid of what will come out if she does. “I actually… I actually wanted you to kiss me,” Tiffany admits, and her voice is so husky it leaves Taeyeon flustered.

“I’ve never been as happy as I was then,” she continues in a reminiscent tone, almost as if the happiness she speaks of only distantly exists. “And I’m so sorry for hurting you, you have no idea…. There are just these stupid complications getting in the way, and I’m so sorry, because I don’t deserve your –whatever it is you feel for me –and I don’t deserve you, at all. I can’t even make up my mind but… I want to be here for you, now.” Taeyeon’s heart is throbbing in her chest now, and she keeps and eyes shut, because she’s terrified of screwing this up again. Tiffany is swabbing the dip between her shoulder and her neck, and Taeyeon has to bite back a moan when she traces her collarbone. “So Kim Taeyeon, don’t you ever. Ever. Do. That. To. Me. Again.”

Tiffany rubs sensually against a sensitive spot on Taeyeon’s neck with every word, and she’s so near to her now that Taeyeon can feel Tiffany’s breath on her lips. The close proximity startles Taeyeon, sending extraordinary warmth through her body; it forces her eyes open, and Tiffany’s gazing into them with such intensity that she wants to look away, but she can’t.

“Because… I love you,” Tiffany finally confesses in a low voice. “I mean, I’m in love with you, Taeyeon.”

It’s frighteningly silent after that, and as ecstatic as she is, Taeyeon’s at a loss for words. She’s too overwhelmed, in positive disbelief, and if she could move her fingers, she would pinch herself. Their faces are inches away from each other, now, and Tiffany drops the handkerchief to reach up and Taeyeon’s face with her bare hand. She caresses it tenderly, as if it’s the most delicate thing she’s ever felt. Her hand is warm, as all things pertaining to Tiffany are, and softer than fleece; it practically melts against Taeyeon’s skin, doing nothing to help her organize her already muddled thoughts.

“I-I–,” Taeyeon stutters, her voice wavering, but Tiffany chuckles, almost as if she’s amused.

“It’s okay, Taeyeon. I just wanted to let you know how I felt.” Tiffany smiles, but it’s satiated with agony, and Taeyeon can’t take it.

“No! I –I do, too, Miyoung!” she cries, and Tiffany jumps at the outburst. “I just… I can’t…” Taeyeon’s eyebrows knit together as she struggles, and when she glances back up at Tiffany in desperation, Tiffany’s lips are parted, as if she’s in shock.

               “It’s okay if you can’t say it back,” she finally says, her eyes animatedly pulling together, disappearing into glistening crescents. “Thank you, Taeyeon.” Then she smiles –the most brilliant and vibrant grin she’s ever flashed at Taeyeon –and it’s filled with so much genuine delight that Taeyeon actually feels accomplished, even though she knows she didn’t do anything.

Tiffany brushes her fingertips against Taeyeon’s forehead, her cheek, tracing the shape of her jawline –and she does it with such a loving touch that Taeyeon finally believes her. Her eyes flit back up to Taeyeon’s, and she smiles amiably before she starts to dry Taeyeon’s face with a towel. Taeyeon sighs in bliss, but she pouts when Tiffany gets to her feet as she reads the medicine.

“The label says to ‘consume with food’, so I’ll go make you some soup. Get some sleep while I’m cooking, okay?”

Taeyeon doesn’t want to, not in the least, but the entreating look in Tiffany’s eyes and the sweetness in her voice melt her resolve. She finds her eyelids itching with weariness and her body dwindling with unexpected exhaustion, so she yawns and agrees with a nod.

While Tiffany is cooking, she glances over her shoulder at the couch and smiles at the sight of a sleeping Taeyeon. It’s absolutely endearing, and the warmth induced by it temporarily numbs the ache in her heart.

Taeyeon, I don’t want to hurt you again, but I think I have to… but at least, it’ll be for the last time. And I’ll be hurting a lot more.

Tiffany continues to stir the soup in silence, ignoring the sizzling of the stove as her tears fall onto it.

**************

               Never in her life, not even when she was kissing Tiffany, has Taeyeon been this content.

As much as she would love to engage in that activity, the feeling of being wanted and loved by Tiffany is so much more fulfilling. Every fiber of her being is aded with exultation and her heart is bloated with delight. She sighs tranquilly in gratification.

For once, Taeyeon feels utterly complete, as if there’s nothing she could desire more.

She and Tiffany are lying in Tiffany’s bed, and because it’s only made for one person, they’re compressed against each other –not that either minds. Not at all. Taeyeon’s as snuggled into Tiffany’s side as physically possible, and the latter has one arm wrapped around her tiny shoulders while her other hand is cradling Taeyeon’s. Taeyeon’s free arm is draped over Tiffany’s stomach, and maybe it’s a little sensual, but she likes the way Tiffany shivers every time she runs her hand over her flawlessly smooth abdomen.

They drift in and out of consciousness because every time one of them awakes, the other does almost simultaneously, and they smile shyly at each other. It’s just an unadorned coincidence, but something about it makes Tiffany’s heart flutter –enough to want to break the amorous ambience created by the silence.

“Taeyeon-ah, are you happy?” she inquires, in a whisper full of unwavering affection.

It’s a simple question, but it takes Taeyeon by surprise. Nevertheless, she doesn’t have to think about her response.

“More than I’ve ever been,” Taeyeon confesses, and Tiffany’s heart swells, because she’s never heard Taeyeon express herself that openly. “What makes you ask?”

Tiffany grins wildly, and her vivid eyes are sparkling as she replies, “Do you have any idea how happy I am?”

Taeyeon shakes her head. “No, I thought you hated me up until now.”

Tiffany deadpans. “Taeyeon, you’re killing my vibe.”

“I’m being honest!” Tiffany shakes her head with a chuckle, her husky, harmonious laughter resonating in Taeyeon’s ears. Taeyeon smiles, but that’s rapidly reformed into inquisitiveness when the moonlight catches on something poised on Tiffany’s chest. “What’s that?”

Tiffany glances down in bemusement so Taeyeon points at it to clarify. When Tiffany brings the object into view, Taeyeon realizes it’s a white-gold pendant in the shape of a padlock. It’s fashioned realistically, with implausibly precise detail, and though it’s simple, it’s elegant, hanging off of a thin, sterling silver chain.

“It’s a necklace my mother gave me for my birthday before she passed away,” Tiffany murmurs, thumbing it fondly. “Don’t feel bad! You were just curious,” she adds hastily when Taeyeon’s face falls.

“Does it open?” Taeyeon changes the subject as she eyes the pendant in enchantment.

 Tiffany nods, and with her permission, Taeyeon takes the padlock between her index finger and her thumb and studies the lock. Unlike the unpretentious exterior, it’s exceptionally intricate; the structure is in the shape of a T, leaving two gaps on either side for a key to slide in, though how that would be maneuvered, Taeyeon isn’t sure. The unique contour leads her to believe that it isn’t easily opened.

“It doesn’t look like it opens with paperclips,” Taeyeon finally says.

Tiffany bursts out laughing at her analysis.

“Nope, it doesn’t,” she confirms the obvious, though she continues in a more serious tone, “It doesn’t open for any key, either –even if a key was made to exactly fit the lock, it still wouldn’t open. It only opens for the key necklace that was made as a counter piece for it. My mom got it specially made that way.”

“That’s incredible!” Taeyeon cries in a genuinely impressed voice. She gets a dazzling eye-smile in response, and she’s content to fall silent as she fumbles with the pendant a little longer. Then, curiosity getting the best of her, she asks, “Why did she make it like that?”

“Because she believes that you can only love one person, and I do, too,” Tiffany explains. “This padlock is supposed to signify my heart,” she adds when Taeyeon looks bewildered.

Taeyeon blinks, digesting the information gradually before her eyebrows pull together to crease her forehead in a pensive frown. “So… you believe only one person can open your heart?”

Tiffany responds immediately. “Of course.”

The conviction in her voice is a little intimidating, and Taeyeon’s heart skips a beat when she hears the response. She grimaces.

“Whoa, what a lucky guy to have gotten the other necklace,” Taeyeon says with an awkward smile, but her poor attempt at hiding her jealousy doesn’t go unnoticed.

Tiffany giggles at Taeyeon’s reaction and shakes her head. “I haven’t given it to somebody else yet, silly.”

“Really?” Taeyeon shrieks hopefully. The change in her voice is evident, and Tiffany bursts out laughing.

“Well, yeah,” Tiffany answers once she calms down. “It has to be for whoever I’m sincerely in love with. I mean, if I happened to fall in love with a person after already loving someone, that means I never truly loved them in the first place. So, I wanted to wait until I found the right person. I mean, I know it’s possible to have feelings for other people, but essentially, we’re all made for only one person. We can fall in love with one person and be loved by one person. After all, you can only fall in love once. So, my mom told me when I do fall in love with someone, to give them the counter-piece necklace to this one.” Tiffany pauses to flash a radiant grin at Taeyeon before continuing, “Because once my heart is opened by a person, it will only open for that one person.”

Taeyeon’s speechless. Dumbfounded, she hums in appreciation, unsure of what to say because there’s just no appropriate response to convey how she feels. It’s like she just experienced an exhilarating legend.

Tiffany chuckles warmly at her response, and Taeyeon nestles her head against Tiffany’s chest upon hearing the melodic sound. She studies the shape of the lock a while longer, her eyes never leaving the padlock.

Eventually, Taeyeon’s eyes wander from the pendant to Tiffany’s peacefully resting face, and she admires her unblemished beauty for a moment before lowering her eyes. Entranced by the mesmerizing way Tiffany’s chest rose and fell with every breath and lulled by the sound of her slow, rhythmic heartbeat, Taeyeon’s eyes start to flutter close, until–

“Tae-Tae?” Tiffany asks in an endearing tone dripping with imploring sweetness.

Taeyeon’s breath hitches in at the arbitrary nickname. It’s an abrupt and eccentric change, but a smile makes its way onto her face nonetheless, so she doesn’t question it. If she were more alert, she would’ve been more wary of the aegyo in Tiffany’s voice; Tiffany acting cute never resulted in anything good for Taeyeon’s welfare.

“Yes?” Taeyeon mumbles sleepily.

Tiffany smiles, her eyes disappearing mischievously. “Do you want to go on a date?”

Suddenly Taeyeon’s not so tired anymore, and the ecstatic glint in her eyes is enough of a response for Tiffany.

**************

               Somehow, Tiffany finds a way to do everything on a list she conjures out of nowhere. Taeyeon’s not entirely sure how, because it’s late enough that clubs are the only accessible establishments, but maybe it’s because whoever fell victim to Tiffany’s charm had about as much resistance as she did.

               They don’t really do much on the date –just simple stuff.

Cheesy stuff.

               To Taeyeon, it’s all done in a dream-like haze that she’s watching from a distance, because she’s still qualms that such contentment can exist without repercussions. 

               They have midnight-dinner (as Tiffany calls it) at an elaborate Italian restaurant, where Taeyeon eats enough to feed a village and has a heart attack when she sees the bill. Thankfully, Tiffany pays.

Taeyeon feels guilty, but Tiffany seems to be pleased.

               After all, Tiffany’s always wanted to have a spaghetti kiss (though she doubts the conservative staff appreciated it), and doing it with someone as graceless Taeyeon made it that much more… interesting. The way Taeyeon rubbed the spaghetti sauce off of her face afterwards was cute enough, though.

               Subsequently, they find some random vendor that, by enigmatic means, happens to be open and get ice cream (this time Taeyeon pays). They sit on a park bench to finish their ice cream, which ensues in a mini tickle fight when Taeyeon dabs the last of her sundae on Tiffany’s nose.

               Tiffany then somehow convinces Taeyeon to carry her bridal-style through the woods to the beach. Well, maybe it’s because Taeyeon was afraid that Tiffany would drop her had they gone with her first idea. They walk on the beach hand-in-hand for a little while, with Taeyeon pointing out various entities and dropping little bits of knowledge that Tiffany finds fascinating, but never actually go into the ocean since its December at god-knows-what-o’-clock.

               Once they lose interest, they head to the vacant docking harbor and Taeyeon offers a dance but at Tiffany’s explicit (and strident) aversion to the idea, she gives up and plops down on the dock in defeat. She dangles her feet off the edge and Tiffany chuckles at Taeyeon’s loveable pout as she joins her.

               “I didn’t mean to upset you, Taeyeon. It’s just that I just have two left feet, and it would be a shame if you fell into the ocean,” Tiffany elucidates and as hard as she tries, Taeyeon fails to hide her smile. Unconventional humor was one of the most enticing aspects of Tiffany’s irresistible charm.

Tiffany grins when Taeyeon falters, and she takes her hand as they sit on the dock, swinging their feet mildly above the strangely calm, dark waters.

               Taeyeon steals a glance at Tiffany, who’s staring absentmindedly across the ocean. In the pale illumination of moonlight, with her wavy brunette hair loose and flowing behind her in the ocean breeze, she looks so gorgeous that Taeyeon’s breathing grows unsound. She wants to reach out and run her hand along Tiffany’s defined jawline, trace the shape of her full lips, glide up the smooth curve of her nose, her porcelain forehead, brush against her chiseled cheekbones, before pulling her in for a–

The impulse makes Taeyeon flustered, and she swallows, trying to clear as she whispers, “Miyoung, do you want me to sing to you, instead?”

               Tiffany jerks her face towards Taeyeon so briskly that Taeyeon’s afraid her head will fly off. Tiffany’s mouth is agape and her eyes are twinkling with an adorable anticipation as she inquires, “Really?”

               Taeyeon nods mutely.

               “Yes, please!” Tiffany squeals. Taeyeon’s heart warms at Tiffany’s predictable enthusiasm; she grips the edge of the dock to contain the sentiment.

Taeyeon contemplates for a moment before starting in quietly in a subdued tone, “Can you hear it? The sound of my heart, and my high voice speaking… You bring me joy, you bring me love…”

            Tiffany’s blown away. Taeyeon’s vocal range is staggering, and her low melodious voice makes Tiffany shiver; it’s got this depth to it that just makes her feel warm all over. The sincerity and emotion in Taeyeon’s voice melts Tiffany, and her heart swells in elation because even though Taeyeon’s not saying it directly, it’s more of what she could have ever expected from her (though her thick accent when singing in English is very expected). Tiffany closes her eyes and rests her head on Taeyeon’s shoulder, and when she finishes, rewards her with a kiss on the cheek.

               Taeyeon blushes furiously and glances away coyly when Tiffany grins at her, but she’s pleased, nevertheless.

               “That was beautiful, Tae…” Tiffany murmurs in her ear, and Taeyeon trembles against her. “Thank you so much. I loved it.”

               They fall silent, enjoying each other’s company as the waves swayed under them, occasionally spraying their feet with mist.

Tiffany glances at Taeyeon, and she’s overwhelmed by the sudden urge to embrace her. Her dark chestnut hair is thrown over one shoulder alluringly, and her skin looks like white silk under the moonlight; the pink tinge to her porcelain cheeks only makes her look that much more tantalizing. Her plump lips are pursed and parted, and Tiffany her own in longing. She breaks the stillness in an attempt to restrain herself. “That was my dream date.”

Taeyeon’s astounded, at the very least.

“Really? We didn’t do anything special, though. Just all those cheesy things you see in movies.” Taeyeon frowns, trying to recount if they did anything extraordinary –though to her, anything done with Tiffany was extraordinary.

Tiffany grins devilishly at Taeyeon’s expression. “That’s exactly why. I’ve always wanted a cheesy, lovey-dovey date –especially on my first date.”

Taeyeon’s eyes widen, and she turns to stare indiscreetly at Tiffany. “This was your first date?”

“Yeah, why? Wasn’t it yours too?” Tiffany asks, glancing inquiringly over at the smaller girl.

“Well, yeah, but…” Taeyeon hesitates, blushing as she realizes the end to that sentence.

“But what?”

Tiffany’s voice is too charming to resist, so without meeting her gaze, Taeyeon swiftly gushes out in one breath, “You’re-too-pretty-to-not-have-had-a-date-yet.”

Tiffany bursts out laughing. It isn’t some sweet, romantic confession, but coming from Taeyeon, coming from the most awkward and inexpressive person she’s ever met, it means the world to her. Tiffany reaches out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Taeyeon’s ear before lightly taking her chin and tilting Taeyeon’s face towards her; the look of utmost fondness she gets in response is precious.

“Thank you,” Tiffany giggles, and Taeyeon face flushes feverishly as she stares at her feet without speaking. Then, Tiffany continues in a solemn tone, “Thank you for tonight, Taeyeon.”

The huskiness in her voice makes Taeyeon contented in an uneasy way, so she mumbles, “You say it like I made your dreams come true or something.” When Tiffany doesn’t respond, she continues, “What is your dream, Miyoung?”

Without hesitance, Tiffany answers, “To fall in love with someone.” Taeyeon is silent, and she wants to ask, but there’s no need, because Tiffany answers the implicit question. “But that came true a long time ago.”

Taeyeon doesn’t say anything, because she can’t say anything. Her heart is thrashing in her chest, and is all thick. She can’t define how she feels right now –it’s absolutely indecipherable, like some peculiar mixture of ecstatic, nauseas, dazed, touched, and so much more that she can’t breathe.

Tiffany senses Taeyeon’s inability to respond, so she asks, “What’s your dream, Taeyeon?”

Taeyeon’s always loved the way Tiffany can detect her discomfort unerringly and find the best answer to it; she loves the way Tiffany is so remarkably considerate to her. But the question takes Taeyeon aback, because she’s never had any dreams, but when she deliberates it, she realizes that there’s really only one thing she’s ever wanted.

“To be loved by someone,” Taeyeon mutters.

Tiffany blinks. She doesn’t say anything at first, glimpsing rivetedly at Taeyeon with a look of empathy, before wordlessly gazing out across the dark ocean. “Your dream came true a long time ago too, Taeyeon,” she finally says.

Taeyeon wants to kiss Tiffany senseless, because there’s just no way she can illuminate or withstand the way Tiffany’s making her feel. It’s too much for her to bear in one night, so she just drops her eyes to their intertwined hands, smiling bashfully with a hint of cherry to her cheeks.

 “Tae-Tae…” Tiffany’s voice is husky, filled with unexpressed desire.

Taeyeon glances up. Tiffany doesn’t elaborate, but from the look in her eyes, Taeyeon understands.

With Taeyeon’s unspoken consent, Tiffany moves forward to capture her full lips in the kiss that they’ve both been craving the whole night.

Immediately, Taeyeon’s eyes flutter closed. Tiffany’s hand moves out of Taeyeon’s grasp to slide through her chestnut hair, gently pulling her closer by the back of her neck. Her other hand moves up to rest on the area where Taeyeon’s jawline meets her neck, and her thumb Taeyeon’s cheek metrically to the same pace that their lips move.

Taeyeon’s light-headed, so it’s with feeble hands that find their way of their own accord that she rests them on Tiffany’s shoulders. Tiffany smiles into the kiss at this before taking Taeyeon’s lower lips between her own, eliciting a soft whimper from the latter, which only ensues in more vigorous persistence of the movement.

The kiss is unhurried, rhythmic, and tender, like the slow pace of a melody –it’s beautiful. There are so many unexpressed emotions being decanted into the kiss.

Taeyeon’s bursting with glee, to her heart’s content –and Tiffany –she’s trying desperately to live in the present. She’s trying not to think of what may lie in the future, and just lose herself in Taeyeon.

The rest of the night is spent in this embrace, and Tiffany’s fears are eventually silenced by all the things that Taeyeon can’t –or won’t –say aloud.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: Okay, I lied. The final part is coming up next. I had to split it into two parts because otherwise it would be even more horrendously long. Be warned, all the fluff in this chapter is immensely amended for by all the angst in the next part. So, if you want, you guys can just end it here for yourselves and leave the conclusion ambiguous. It’s totally up to you guys. I hope you guys enjoyed this story as much as I did ^^

Oh, and the song Taeyeon sings is called ‘You Bring Me Joy’.