LINK TO STORY: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/46649/i-hate-reality-angst-key-onew-shinee-taemin

I know this review is long overdue, and since I have no idea where SHINeegirl910 disappeared to, I decided to do this review in her place. Sorry migumeki, I hope this helped. 

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General Comments: OH MY GOSH! It's happening again! If I ever leave my general comments up here you know that I am currently spazzing in my seat. I've just been blessed with one of the most heart wrenchingly beautiful stories I have ever laid my eyes on. I honestly think you lacked subscribers and readers because I know, for a fact, that you write excellently. Although I've managed to lose your original request form, I will leave a link for anybody who happens to pass by this shop so they can go check out your story. I LOVED IT! I LOVED IT! I LOVED IT! 

-xforevax

Title: 10/10

I really like your title. It suits your story well and gives off a really melancholy angsty feel. Good job!

Description/Foreword: 19.5/20

There really isn’t much I can say about your foreword or your description. They are both excellently written. However, with that said there is one slight error.

This:

At sixteen, some might say it’s too early to have a true love.

Should be:

At sixteen, some might say it’s too early to find true love.

Reason being, the fact that ‘true love’ is a feeling rather than an actual person; therefore you can’t have a feeling. Apart from that, there really isn’t anything else.

Originality and Plot: 29/30

You have a very strong plot and through your writing it was executed very well. As for the originality, although I have read many stories with characters in comas, much like your plot, through your writing it was executed well. Without good writing, everything else goes to waste.

Grammar/Punctuation and Writing Style: 29/30

Usually I do not like stories which constantly change the stories point of view. It means the story would begin to lack the essence of suspense, even if the story is not meant to be suspenseful. Reason being, the reader is given information on every aspect of the story instead of waiting on the edge of their seat for more information or make judgements for themselves. However, you seem to be the only exception so far. I loved how you changed points of view, and how each person gave the reader an image of how they were feeling.

The only thing I could say is that you revealed Key’s death a bit too early, but that isn’t that big of a deal. I agree with you fully when you said you think you write emotions very well. The way you painted each character’s emotions was beautiful.

As for your grammar and punctuation, the only thing I would say is that you put two sentences together with a comma way too often. If you want to do that use a semi-colon (;).

For example:

Yes, I was frustrated that I would not see Key for at least a month, I was irritated that I could not speak to him directly.

Should be this:

Yes, I was frustrated that I would not see Key for at least a month; I was irritated that I could not speak to him directly.

Apart from that there weren’t that many errors; nothing that a little proof reading couldn’t fix.

Character/Detail: 10/10

The amount of detail you have been able to stuff your story with astounds me. As for your character development, many of your characters remain very much the same, however in stories such as yours, this can’t be helped.

Total: 97.5/100